Chapter Ten: Monster

I sat on the end of the bed fully dressed as Eric came waltzing out of the bathroom. I couldn't look at him, knowing I would just burst out crying if I did. It tore my heart to pieces to know that I had carelessly allowed myself to hope he would stay, to allow him back into my heart. I knew it would come to this. I knew he would leave. But I had been stupid. I had wanted to believe so much that we could be together, that we could just be happy. And now I was feeling that pain, that heartache that I thought couldn't get any worse. I felt myself falling back into that pit of agony that I had clawed my way out of with Godric's help. What was I left with now? A vampire who was going to leave, and another who had lost all common sense. I felt utterly alone, and there was nothing I could possibly do about it.

"You're to stay here while I search for Godric." Eric ordered as he slipped on his leather jacket.

My head snapped up as he said this. "What? No, I'm not just going to sit here."

"You will." He narrowed his eyes. "Did you learn nothing from what happened last night?"

"He'll be better now. He'll be healed." I shook my head. "I want to go."

"You will stay here, Ellie. That's final." He turned towards the door. "It was difficult enough to bring you covered in blood into a vampire friendly hotel to begin with. Do not leave this room, do you understand?"

"No I don't understand." I shot right off of the bed. "I'm coming with you!"

"You will stay here, damnit." He twisted around, his fangs extending. "Do not make me force you, Ellie. I don't wish to hurt you."

"You already have." I crossed my arms. "I'm coming with you, Eric. Or else I'm just going to go looking for Godric after you leave."

"Are you seeking death?" He growled, his hands clenching at his sides. "Because that's all that you'll find."

"He won't hurt me." I insisted.

"What did he do last night!" Eric roared.

"I told him to bite me; I was the one who brought that on." I reminded him. "I'm not going to just sit here, Eric."

"If you value your life, you will."

"Don't threaten me, Eric. I'm not in the mood for this. Just let me come, it'll be safer."

He looked like he wanted to attack me. He took a step forward, his hands inching towards me, but he was able to stop himself before he came within distance to grab me. He muttered to himself in Swedish as he glared darkly down at me, as if his stare was going to cause me to just disappear. I kept my arms crossed as I just glared right back at him, knowing that one way or another, I was going to win this argument. He knew as well as I did that the moment he left, I would be out of this hotel room and searching out Godric. It would be safer if he was there, in case Godric did attack again. He could stop his maker, or at least try.

"Take me with you, Eric." I demanded.

"You're walking a thin line, Ellie." He growled.

"Then again, you don't seem to care about me, so I guess I'll just have to go looking for him on my own."

His hands clenched and unclenched repeatedly as he tried to control his anger. I watched him with a raised eyebrow until he finally let out a sound of frustration and grabbed onto my arm, yanking me towards the door. I could have smirked in victory, but I felt more like crying than anything. We didn't speak as we made our way down to the lobby. Eric strode on over to the front desk, presumably to ask for a car, while I glanced around at the hotel. It reminded me of Hotel Carmilla in Dallas, and almost had the exact same interior. A few vampires were milling about, though it was still early in the evening for most of them. The sun had just set I could tell from the darkening sky outside. Most vampires didn't wake until it was completely dark before they searched out a source of entertainment for the evening.

"Come on." Eric grabbed onto my arm once again as he pulled me out of the hotel rather forcefully.

I rolled my eyes at his actions but didn't fight him as we came to a halt outside of the hotel. It only took a moment before a sleek black car pulled up before us and the valet handed Eric the keys. Eric was in the driver's seat before I even stepped towards the car, and was impatiently tapping the steering wheel as I made a point to slowly get into the car. I didn't even have my seat belt buckled before he was speeding off into the night. I swore under my breath, though I knew he heard it clear as day.

"You're going to end up killing me." I shot at him.

"Hold your tongue, Ellie." Eric warned, flashing me a glare.

I glared back at him before staring intently out the window with my arms crossed. I didn't know how he expected to find Godric while he was speeding around the city. If Godric had run off, then I doubted he opened his blood bond with Eric. He didn't want to be found, that was obvious. I just hoped it wasn't because of what happened. Though I knew that was wishful thinking. I knew Godric too well. He would be blaming himself for what happened last night when it truly was all my fault. I was the one who pulled the trigger, who told him to bite me. He was only succumbing to his natural instincts, that's all.

"Where do you think he is?" I wondered after a moment.

Eric didn't answer me however, and I rolled my eyes at his immaturity. Couldn't we at least put everything aside to find his maker?

"Fine, don't talk to me." I grumbled.

There was a low growl emitting from the vampire beside me but I ignored him. If he was going to ignore me, then fine, I would just do the same. We drove around the city for what felt like hours. I stared out the window, hoping I would just find him walking the streets. Though I knew how dangerous that would be. I wasn't sure if Godric was in a better state of mind yet. Just because he had my blood, it didn't mean he still didn't crave blood in general. He was like a newborn vampire now. He had been injured to the point that he desperately needed blood, and after so long without it, the monster from within couldn't control himself.

"Blood." Eric muttered, pulling the car to a complete halt just outside of a large cemetery.

"Do you think..." I trailed off, chewing my bottom lip nervously.

"From what we saw last night, yes I do think it could be him." Eric sighed before putting the car into park and leaving the car. "Stay here, Ellie."

"Not going to happen." I scrambled out of the car before Eric could force me to stay.

"Ellie." He growled.

"Let's just go find him before anyone else dies." I shot at him over my shoulder as I walked through the large open cemetery gates.

Cemeteries have always spooked me ever since I was a kid. Maybe it was because I had to bury my parents at such a young age, and then my brother only a handful of years ago. The only reason I hadn't minded the fact that Sookie lived beside a cemetery was the fact that there was a thick line of trees separating the two properties. I wasn't sure if it was because of the dead people buried beneath my feet as I walked through the cemetery as quietly as possible, or just because of the thick air of death that was always surrounding the burial grounds. But whatever it was, I didn't like it one bit.

"You're going to get yourself killed." Eric grumbled behind me.

"Oh shut up and start looking." I stormed as far from him as I possibly could. I could still hear him behind me, but he was at least giving me enough space. Which I was glad about, because I was perfectly energized and healthy today, I could throw Eric onto his ass in no time if need be.

I was cursing whoever had created such a large cemetery. It was as if every deceased New Orleans resident from the past 100 years was buried here, and that unfortunately came with a lot of ground to cover. Godric could be anywhere. He might not even be where anymore. If he had fed off of a human, as Eric was predicting that he had, then he might have already left if he could hear we were coming. We could be walking into a destruction zone without even the main target in sight. I was feeling more defeated by the minute, and was just about to give up when I heard a soft whimper. My head snapped to the side and I quickly followed the sound. Eric had heard it as well as he was by my side in a moment, ready to react if it came to that.

"Godric no!" I suddenly shouted the moment I caught sight of the vampire we had been searching for. I was sickened to find him readying himself to sink his fangs into a girl who couldn't have been much younger than I was. There was already a body at his feet, though I was thankful to see their chest rising up and down. We didn't need another dead body on our hands.

"Ellie stay back." Eric grabbed my arm and pulled me to a stop as Godric laid his eyes on us.

"Let go of me, Eric." I tried to shove him away, needing to get to Godric. "Godric don't bite her."

He looked so tempted to. he was glancing down at the pulsing vein he was seconds away from piercing and then back up to me, his head tilting to the side.

"Godric, stop." I was able to use my powers to shove Eric a few good feet away and used that opportunity and rush over to the hungry vampire. "Don't do this, Godric. You're better than this."

"Am I?" he didn't sound like himself. He sounded like a vampire lusting for blood, and that was exactly what he was. But I refused to believe that the monster had taken over him completely. There was still some good left inside of him; I could see it in those blue green eyes as he stared at me. I could see the pain mixing with the hunger. Part of him didn't want to do this, he didn't want to act this way. But he just couldn't help himself.

"You are, Godric. This isn't you. You're not a monster." I shook my head, taking another step forward.

"That's all I am." He replied sadly, letting go of the girl as he bowed his head. His fangs retracting for now, and I sighed in relief. I watched out the corner of my eye as Eric pulled the girl to safety, already glamouring her to forget this.

"That's not true. You're a good person, Godric." I assured him, stepping towards him.

"Don't." He held out his hand. "Don't come any closer."

"You're not this vampire, Godric. I know you're not. You're just hungry, I understand that. But it will get better, you just have to try." I didn't listen to him, growing even closer to him.

"I said stop." He hissed suddenly, his fangs clicking out as he raised his gaze to meet mine. They had darkened, the hunger and lust replacing the sadness and grief. "You need to leave. I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't."

"I will." His eyes closed as his entire body tensed. "I can't stop myself. You're blood..."

"Ellie go back to the car now." Eric instructed, appearing at my side.

"No." I shook my head, just wanting to reach out to Godric. "I'm not leaving. You can fight this, Godric, I know you can. You're stronger than this."

"I'm not." His eyes flashed open. "I'm no better than the monsters they claim us to be. I've killed so many..."

"It's not your fault, Godric. You were hurt, you needed blood to heal. You haven't had human blood in such a long time. You just got carried away." It broke my heart to see Godric in this state.

"You need to leave, before I hurt you." I could tell he was trying to restrain himself, and that alone should have sent me running. But I had faith in him. He needed to realize that he could conquer this beast, that he could win this war. He only had to try.

"I'm not leaving you. You can get through this, Godric. I'll help you." Before Eric could stop me, I took a last step forward and reached out to him.

But before my hand could fall onto his arm, Godric had me by the shoulders and shoved me up against a nearby tree. His fangs were baring down at me in an attempt to frighten me, but it just wasn't working. He couldn't scare me off, he just couldn't. Godric meant the world to me. I would stick by him no matter what. He needed help right now, and I was going to damn well give it to him. He had saved me countless of times. He had cared for me when I had no one else. I couldn't leave him now, just abandon him after all he's done for me. That just wasn't an option.

"Don't you see?" Godric growled dangerously low, his gaze falling to my neck. "I'm a monster, that's all I am."

"No you're not." I insisted.

"Yes I am." His grip tightened. "Do you not realize how much I want to rip your throat out right now, to drain you completely dry? It's taking every ounce of my strength not to do so."

"You're fighting it. You're strong enough to beat this urge, Godric." I encouraged him. "You can do this."

"I want your blood. I want your blood more than I want you to live." He slowly raised his gaze to meet mine. "You're blood just smells so...I'm craving it beyond belief. I don't think I'll be able to stop myself for much longer."

"Master, please." Eric voiced from behind. "Fight it."

"I cannot, my child, I'm sorry." Godric licked his lips, my eyes growing wide as one of his hands grabbed onto my neck and yanked my head to the side.

I squeezed my eyes shut as Godric reeled his head back, only moments away from biting me. Before he could however, before those teeth could do much more than graze my neck, I had him flying across the cemetery. My hands were outstretched, the power surging through me. A warm tingling sensation was working its way up from my toes and to my finger tips. I was ready to fight if I had to, ready to defend myself against the inner beast inside of my best friend. I didn't want to of course. I didn't want to have to hurt him. I cared too much about him to even think about doing so. But I also needed to protect myself first and foremost. I couldn't help Godric through this if I was dead.

"Ellie, go now." Eric grabbed onto my arms and pushed me in the direction we came. "Go. I'll only be able to hold him off for a..."

Eric was ripped away from me though, as Godric was back on his feet and ready to pounce. My heart was pounding in my chest, the worst possible thing for it to do while I had a hungry, blood thirsty vampire ready to rip my throat out. I never thought I wound ever have Godric staring at me in that way. I had always been able to trust him, and I still did. But I knew he wasn't himself. He wasn't his usual kind caring self; he didn't care at all if I survived. Right now, he just wanted blood. And more importantly, he wanted my blood.

"Godric," I started inching backwards slowly, not wanting to make any sudden movements. "You can fight this, I know you can."

"I would run if I were you." He advised.

I stared at him for a long moment, expecting that grin of his to appear and for him to assure me he was only joking. But that grin didn't appear and this certainly was not a joke. He didn't need to tell me twice, that was for sure. I twisted around and started sprinting faster than I thought I could have. I couldn't remember ever having to run for my life before, not like I was now. I was always ready to fight, not backing down from any situations. But I couldn't fight in this case. Not like I had in the past. Because I just couldn't hurt, Godric. I couldn't kill him like I did the vampires last night. I couldn't burn him alive. He was still Godric, and I knew deep down inside he was still the vampire who had saved my life time and time again.

I let out an ear piercing scream when Godric suddenly appeared before me, causing me to skid to a complete halt. I nearly stumbled backwards, but was able to catch myself before I spun around and ran in the other direction. I knew I couldn't outrun a vampire. It was impossible. All I could do was hope Eric would intervene or Godric would realize what he was doing.

"Get to the car now, Ellie." Eric grabbed me by the shoulders as he flashed in front of me, just about throwing me behind him in protection. "NOW!"

I looked around Eric's large form at the raging vampire I called my friend and I didn't hesitate to follow Eric's order. I made a mad dash through the cemetery and to where I remembered the car being. I looked over my shoulder every once in awhile, watching the fight that was unfolding before my very eyes. Every time Godric would try and chase after me, Eric would throw him backwards. Godric was able to overpower him a few times, but Eric continued to get back up, protecting me as best as he could. And at that moment, I forgot about our conversation from earlier this evening and was just thankful he was here. I didn't know what I would have done if I had found Godric by myself. I surely wouldn't be running away to tell the tale.

The moment I arrived at the car, I silently thanked Eric for being a genius and leaving the car doors unlocked. Of course it was a stupid idea in New Orleans, but I really couldn't have cared less right now. I jumped into the car and locked every single door before gazing helplessly out the window. This car would be no match for Godric's strength if Eric wasn't able to subdue him. I was just a sitting duck. But there was nowhere safe enough to be right now, nowhere Godric couldn't get to me. I hated to admit this, but Eric had been right. I had just been too stubborn to realize it earlier. Godric had turned into a raging lunatic because of my blood. I was an idiot. I wasn't helping him at all by being around him. I was only making things worse.

"I'm so sorry, Godric." I whispered, tears forming in my eyes.

I was startled when music began playing in the car. I looked around wildly, as if expecting some axe murderer to come out of nowhere and attack me. But it was only Eric's phone that he had left in the car. I was going to ignore it, but as I glanced over and saw Pam's name flashing on the screen, I quickly grabbed it.

"Pam?"

"What are you doing with Eric's phone? Where the hell are you Ellie!"

I barely paid her any attention. "Pam there's something wrong with Godric. Eric is trying to calm him down but...he was going to attack me."

"What are you talking about?"

"We found Godric, Pam. He's alive. Though he's not himself at all. He needed blood to heal, but it's turned him into someone else entirely. He's not thinking clearly right now."

"Where's Eric right now?"

"Doing his best to keep Godric from ripping my throat out." My heart was still pounding in my chest and I wondered for a moment if Pam was even able to hear it.

"Ellie? Ellie what's going on there?" Sookie's unexpected voice came through the phone.

I sighed as I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself down. But it was no use. How could anyone be calm while in this situation?

"Ellie talk to me, what's going on?" Sookie demanded to know.

"Godric is alive. He's just...he's not himself. I gave him my blood last night, to try and heal him. But it only made him worse. He tried to attack me." I was close to tears at this point.

"Oh god. Where are you now? Are you safe?" I could hear the worry in her voice, and part of me wished I was there in Bon temps with her, Sam and Pam, and far away from here.

"Safe enough." I answered. "Eric is trying to...oh god."

I dropped the phone as I stared out the windshield window, Godric standing before the car staring back at me hungrily. I didn't know what to do. If I tried to get out of the car, he would be able to catch me. But this steel metal car was no match for the power of a vampire, especially one two thousand years old. My choice was made for me however, as Godric flashed beside the passenger door. I didn't even think as I climbed into the driver's seat, throwing open the door and attempting to escape. I didn't have a chance in hell however, as Godric suddenly just appeared before me, his eyes darker than I've ever seen them.

"Godric please. I don't want to hurt you." I begged him. "Please you can fight this."

"No I can't." Was all he said before he wrapped his hand around my throat and threw me onto the hood of the car.

I yelped in pain at the sudden contact. The sound ceased however, as Godric squeezed his hand around my throat so tightly, black dots began invading my vision. I tried to struggle, but it was no use. He was just too strong. I couldn't even gasp out his name. All I could do was focus on my powers, hoping they wouldn't disappoint me now. But I never even got the chance, the oxygen leaving my lungs and forcing me closer and closer to unconsciousness.

"I'm sorry." There was a hint of sorrow in his voice as he yanked my head to the side before I could slip into unconsciousness. "But I told you I couldn't control myself."

I stared at him in horror as he dove his fangs right into my neck, just as he had done last night. Except this time was different. This time I wasn't consenting. This time I was squirming, struggling to get him to stop. Not even my powers were able to work as I was quickly losing consciousness. The pain was excruciating. Even more so than when he bit me last night, when I had begged him to drink from me. He didn't care who I was, he only cared for my blood, for the intoxicating substance he desired.

"Godric..." I gasped out as my eyes began closing, the strength to continue struggling fading quickly.

And then just like that, it was over. Godric let out a scream of agony as he suddenly ripped away from me, stumbling backwards in pain. I was gasping in pain myself as I fought to stay awake, holding my hand over the blood flow as I sat up as best as I could, only to find Godric kneeling on the ground, holding his head in agony. I didn't know what was happening. Was this my doing? Had I done this?

"Godric?" Eric was there in a flash, looking between his pained maker and the blood that was seeping through my hand. "What the hell happened?"

"I-I don't know." My head felt dizzy and I slumped back against the car, trying to regain some sort of strength.

I wasn't able to see Godric any longer, but I could hear him clear as day.

"Kyra..."