Maybe he was just missing something.
It was possible after all, Artie reminded himself. He was only spending maybe an hour at the most with each guy. And of course they were going to be on their best behavior. Artie was the first of the entire gang to meet the new boyfriends. Not that Kurt or Matt ever referred to Geoffrey and Austin as such, but still it was kind of obvious. His every impression of every single nuance and syllable was going to be analyzed to death by all the girls and reluctantly the guys were going to admit to doing the same thing.
And both of them seemed really nice. Not that Artie had thought Kurt or Matt would suddenly develop an asshole fixation but it was still good to see these guys were nice guys. Funny. Smart. And giving Artie the wickedest case of déjà vue ever recorded.
He knew both his friends could at times be described as clueless. Kurt had no gaydar to speak of and Matt always came across as shocked when someone remembered his name. Yet clearly, they had to know. They had to realize what they were doing. Didn't they? They weren't really that clueless were they? He was just clearly over-thinking this. Or under-thinking this. Or he was just applying stereotypes and needed to take a sensitivity course when he got back to school next week. There had to be something he was missing.
Maybe if he went over it again? Taking a deep breath, Artie started to wheel himself through the Mid-Center Mall. He was supposed to meet Leah and Matt at Sheet-N-Things at 5:30, and then it was dinner to celebrate the end of spring break. Matt had elected to stay on campus, finish up some projects and earn some much needed extra money. Artie had divided his own break between visiting Kurt earlier in the week and the end of the week with Matt. Glancing down at his watch, Artie noted he had at least an hour before he was due to meet his friends. Plenty of time to figure out exactly what he was missing.
He hadn't thought it was possible while they were both at McKinley, but Artie was convinced Kurt was becoming even more flamboyant. Or at least he was clearly making Adam Lambert his fashion idol. The green nails hadn't been too much of a surprise. Kurt had been known to slip in some black polish every now and again in the choir room. Usually around the time of a dance. The subtle use of eyeliner, however, had been new. The pocket of his backpack had the exact color and name brand Kurt used to pass the information on to Tina. What had been the biggest shock was seeing Kurt be on the more subtle end of self-expression compared to the rest of his classmates.
Kurt had introduced Austin as his "piano tutor" which everyone knew was complete and total crap. Kurt had never missed a piano lesson in all the years Artie knew him. And that included the last few years with deaf Mr. Galloway from Piqua. Besides, Kurt wasn't a piano major, so why exactly would he need a "piano tutor"? When Artie had asked that exact question, Kurt never had been able to come up with a satisfactory answer but was sure fun to watch his friend turn about fifteen shades of red at once.
Austin had been quiet, so quiet at first Artie was afraid he had offended the other guy when he had recounted his ultimate victory in his dorm-wide Halo contest. When he mentioned his fear to Kurt, his friend had just laughed it off, claiming Austin was just shy and did better in a one-on-one situation. At the time, Artie hadn't wanted to know too much about specific one-on-one situations so he had just let that comment slide on by. But now…..
When the movie debate had started, Artie again had just chalked it up to it being a safe subject for three people to discuss. Of course when Austin started defending the films Artie loved, he had to admit he felt the need to do a double take. But he had been so happy to have a conversation finally going; Artie had once again ignored that feeling of "hey that's kinda weird."
Of course that wasn't to say if he discovered Austin at one point played football and had sung in a show choir, that Artie wouldn't have wheeled directly into Kurt and destroyed his every designer shirt under his wheels to make his friend admit the truth.
He might have just found it funny, and probably would have written it all off to just coincidence until he met Geoffrey. By contrast, Geoffrey had been talking a mile a minute, making reference that Arte barely understood, although he did gather they were all related to fashion or cinema before Lucas and Spielberg came along.
Geoffrey had did a good job of hiding his displeasure at his sweater and suspenders, but the oh so causal offer to come by Abercrombie today while he was working seemed to indicate an ambush makeover was being planned. Artie planned to be nowhere near that particular store until he couldn't possibly avoid it any longer. Or at least until Leah was there waiting for Matt as well. Safety in numbers after all.
"Abrams I don't know what that pretzel stand did to you, but it certainly does not warrant a death stare." Leah's amused voice cut through his musings. Shaking his head as she neared, Artie resolved to put the whole matter behind him. If his friends were happy, what business was it of his if their current partners seemed awfully familiar?
"It was taunting me." Artie explained with a smile he hoped was convincing. "I eat one of these and I'm useless for this dinner I was promised."
"Yeah this particular pretzel stand and I have come to an understanding. It stays ridiculously expensive and tempting and I stay broke and avoid it."
"Sounds like a stellar plan." Leah fell into step with him as they started to loop back through the diminishing crowds rushing to get something to eat. "So I didn't hear when you all came in last night. Please tell me you figured out a way to get my brother drunk so he was totally hung over his entire shift."
"No." Artie admitted with a sad shrug. "But we did get him to do karaoke."
To be completely honest, Geoffrey had managed that one. Now Artie had no issues seeing Matt go up on stage with a group of friends. That would have been nothing. But a solo performance of Michael Jackson's "Bad"? Now that Artie hadn't seen coming.
"Ah. You met Geoffrey. He's the only one who can Matt up on that stage." Leah nodded before amending her statement. "Well one of the only ones."
Artie looked up at his friend's older sister, seeing a knowing glint in her eye. "You see it to don't you?"
"See that Geoffrey is Kurt if Kurt had access to gay clubs in Lima? Yeah. I see it. "
"Oh thank God Woman. I thought I was just going crazy. Especially after meeting Austin."
"Yeah Austin." Leah sat down abruptly on a bench, causing Artie to apply his breaks or roll right past her. "Look I haven't met him clearly, but from the little bit Kurt's told me it just seems that he's….."
"Matt's soccer playing, piano loving cousin?" Artie supplied.
"YES!" Leah all but shouted.
"They do realize they are just dating each other right? Obviously slight differences but still. They have to see it right?"
"I've tried to point this out to Matt." Leah sighed. "He just thinks I'm crazy and keeps reminding me that I was the one who told him it was time for him to get into the dating pool. So, no my blind idiot brother doesn't realize it. I'm guessing Kurt doesn't see it either?"
Artie shook his head. "No. The last time he missed something like this? We all thought Matt was straight."
"Morons. We tell them both for months to either date other people or admit they aren't over each other and what do they do? Find other people that completely remind the rest of us of each other. I don't know whether to congratulate them for driving me so crazy or just pound their heads together until all the stubbornness oozes out of their ears."
"Well I guess we know what their type is right?"
"I like Geoffrey. And I'm sure if I ever meet Austin I would like him too. But this is just not going to end well for any of them."
"Word." Artie nodded. "Only Kurt would figure out a way to make his life exactly like a soap opera."
"And only Matt would find a way to unintentionally completely complicate his life."
"What are we going to do with them?"
"I don't know about you, but I plan on pointing this fact out until Matt finally accepts I'm right."
"Twenty bucks says he never does."
"You're on. And don't think you can pass off that old twenty you and my brother keep passing around. Cause you aren't getting it back Abrams."