*Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter they were greatly appreciated thank-you all so much*
"It's too soon," says Roman, "This isn't how it's supposed to be, Tay," he says as we are making arrangements for Lia's funeral. "Parents aren't supposed to bury their children. Their children are supposed to bury them," he says. "How many more children will we have to bury before it is our turn to be buried." He had tears in his blue-grey eyes. He hasn't been taking it well since the day Lia died. We had all been concerned about Lia and we weren't always happy with the choices she made in life; like sleeping with a married man, but she didn't deserve to die or need to die at 22 years old. She had so much more life ahead of her, she had a son and a man that loved her. She had a whole lifetime ahead of her yet it was cut short in a matter of seconds. Despite not agreeing with all her choices we still loved her, we loved her with all our hearts and she was our daughter. Life has not been easy since she left us. We find ourselves blaming ourselves and each other for her death. If it wasn't for everyone judging Ben being Malachi's father maybe her blood pressure wouldn't have been so high and maybe if I fought a little harder with her to get the C-Section she would still be here.
"I know, Ro," I say as I rub his shoulder. "It's like Toa we don't know why God chose to take her so soon and rip her away from her son. It's not for us to know or for us to understand. Right now God is giving us his mercy as we grieve her loss. I should have pushed her harder to get the C-section because I know how stubborn she is. I knew she would fight and yet I let her. I should have pushed her harder to get the C-Section," I say with tears in my eyes. "I should have fought her harder to listen to the doctor."
"Well, the doctor should have done his job and forced her to get the C-section," he says.
"He can't. He has to respect the patient's wishes and she would have needed to sign a release she wasn't going to do that. He did his job. She was just so freaking stubborn like she has been all her life. It's not fair, Ro."
"I know," he says comforting me. "If this is anyone's fault it's my fault. I was so worried about Ben being the father and being unhappy that he was that I upset her before she went into the delivery room. I don't think Ben is a bad guy. I just think he's a little too old for her. I made her blood pressure too high. It's my fault."
"Ro, she had pre-eclampsia whether it was you getting on her case for Ben being Malachi's father or not her blood pressure would have been high. Remember when I had it and I nearly died after having Toa? That's what happened with her. She could have lost Malachi like we lost Toa but she risked her life for her son. I would have gone with the C-Section but she made the choice. I don't know what to do Roman. I hate that fact we have to bury our daughter and our grandson's mom. He deserves to have his mother, Roman."
"I know," he says. "We're all going to get through this like we have gotten through everything in the past. It's just really hard because Lia was pretty amazing."
"She was a blessing," I say with tears in my eyes. "And Lei isn't handling it well either."
"I know she's a hot mess. That was her twin sister," he says. "They have always had that special bond with each other. Lei is taking it pretty hard."
"I know," I say. "I want to help her with her hurt but I can't even help myself with my own," I say as Malachi starts to cry over the baby monitor. "Do you want to get him or do you want me to get him?" I ask.
"I got him," he says as he stands up. "When did Ben say he was coming back for Malachi?"
"I don't know," I say. "He was going back to Tampa for a few days to straighten things out with Alyssa, get himself together and to pack up some things before he moves up here," I say. "He is taking it just as hard as the rest of us," I say.
"I know," says Roman before he makes his way upstairs to get Malachi. Ben left the day after Malachi was released from the hospital to go back to Tampa for a few days. He was in no condition to take Malachi with him. He had left his wife for Lia, given up his whole life for her and their son only to have the woman he loves die before him. I can't even imagine how I would feel if Roman would die in front of me and I can't even imagine all the pain I would feel. Roman and I have been together for over 30 years, been through it all he's my best friend, the love of my life and everything we have we've built from the ground up if he left me I couldn't imagine how much pain I would suffer. I can't imagine what he would feel if I died in front of him but we've had time together Ben and Lia didn't get nearly as enough time as they should have and the time they got together wasn't exactly the best for either of them. He's taking it just as hard as the rest of us. "You know," says Roman as he comes into the kitchen with Malachi. "It's been so long since we've had a baby in the house I forgot how to handle a baby."
"Not even that so much has changed since we had babies. I swear everything changes in parenting from the length of the time you keep your child rearfacing, do you keep the baby on their stomach on their back, don't forget tummy time and so on. It just keeps changing," I say, "but Malachi is probably really hungry," I say. "Let me make him a bottle."
"Okay," says Roman as he sits down holding his first grandson. "I did just change his diaper so he's good there but he is probably hungry," he says with a smile as I start to make the bottle. "It's amazing how much he looks like Lia. He's her twin or should we say her triplet?" he asks.
"Considering that Lia and Lei are fraternal twins you could say that Malachi is Lia's twin. He looks just like she did when she was a baby which means he looks just like you," I say with a smile as I scoop the formula into the small bottle already filled with water. "He's definitely a Reigns baby."
"All that Samoan in him," he says with a smile. "His appetite proves it."
"It sure does," I say with a smile as I walk the bottle over to him so he can feed him. I take a seat next to him as he starts to feed the baby. "I couldn't imagine growing up without my mom in my life or not knowing my mom."
"Me either but wasn't your mom really mean to you when you were younger."
"She still loved me and she was still in my life," I say, "Even though she missed our first wedding she was there for our second one and has been a big part of my life the last few years. I wish I could go back and spend more time with her when she knew who I was now she doesn't even know me. She just knows my name is Tayla."
"I know that's tough," he says feeding the baby.
"The toughest," I say, "So do you want to say anything at the funeral?" I ask. "Do you have any words, a song or anything that you want to share?"
"Not really, I love Lia and it will be really hard for me to get up there and speak about how much I love her and how much she meant to me. I'm not good at that kind of stuff."
"You would think after being part of WWE and cutting all the promos you do you would be comfortable speaking in front of people. I know how much you hate talking in front of others."
"I hate crying in front of others," he says, "but yeah even after all these years I still get nervous talking in front of people. I hate cutting promos and I hated cutting them. I'm still the shy guy you married," he smiles.
"I would call you a lot of things but shy isn't one of them. You're not that shy you're just more reserved than shy but that's what I love about you. Well, I love everything about you to be honest. Otherwise we probably wouldn't have made it this far."
"Agreed," he says with a smile, "I love you, Tay and like I said before we'll get through this as hard as it will be we'll get through it together like we've always done."
"I know," I say taking his hand into mine and stroking his thumb with mine. "Just remember in every storm there is a rainbow forming there always has been," I say with a soft smile. "I love you, Ro."
A FEW DAYS LATER:
I take one last walk around the church to make sure everything is perfect for Lia's funeral. I'm instantly taken back to all those years ago when we laid Toa to rest. It was one of the hardest days of my life, this day is also one of the hardest days of my life. How do you just say goodbye to the child you've raised for the last 22 years almost 23 years? It's not easy especially when you realize that they had so much more life ahead of them and they had a son to raise. It's not easy at all. The scent of the flowers surrounding the white casket that holds our beautiful daughter at peace fill the church, close friends and family make their way into the sanctuary giving us their condolences and telling us they are going to pray for us as we greet them. No words could ever bring my baby girl back and no words can make me feel better about losing her so suddenly. We have also received condolences from the fans but as far as Lia's funeral we made it private just for close friends and family. We do believe we need our privacy for such a solemn and sad occasion. If I had my way Lia's death wouldn't have been on every wrestling website either but since she died after giving birth to Ben's child and Dave Batista's grandchild of course it hit the websites and the tabloids.
"Dear Friends and Family, we are gathered here today to celebrate the life and the times we had with Atalia Reigns. We thank her parents Roman and Tayla Reigns as well as her brothers and sisters; Leilani Reigns, Sika Reigns, Koa Reigns and Jocelyn Reigns and offer them our sincerest condolences. Atalia's life was just beginning. She had just given birth to a beautiful baby boy Malachi. The Lord giveth and the Lord Taketh. It is not for us to question God why or ask why. God has a plan for every creature on his Earth. It is not for us to question but rejoice in the fact that Atalia has made her way into eternal life. She dances with the angels now and sits at Jesus' table. Blessed are those that mourn and grieve the loss of this beautiful young woman but she rests with the Lord and he has called her home," says the minister as the church doors open. I turn to see who is walking into the church and can't believe my eyes. Alyssa Cena-Batista walks in and takes a seat but Ben is nowhere to be found.
"Ro," I whisper, "what is she doing here? I hope it's not one of those things where she only came to spit on Lia because she slept with her husband."
"Who? Alyssa?" he asks looking back at her. "I don't think so. Ben and Alyssa have been having problems for years. It was only a matter of time. But where is Ben?" he asks. "He has responsibilities and we need to talk about what's going on with Malachi."
"I know," I say as I turn my attention back to the minister. Tears blurring my eyes as I am called up to speak about my Lia. I make my way to the front of the church that is filled with nearly 60 people reminding me how much Lia was loved by everyone even if she wasn't perfect but then again none of us really are. "Atalia known affectionately as Lia among her friends and family nicknamed after one of her family members was a beautiful young woman she was my daughter, the first daughter I had born before her twin sister Leilani. Atalia meaning God is Great was living proof of how great God truly was. Before Lia and Leilani were born my husband and I suffered several miscarriages, stillbirths, it was excoriating and painful living and dealing with infertility. We tried so hard for a baby and even turned to fertility treatments to have a baby. After a tough time in our lives God blessed us with a pregnancy and blessed us not only with one baby but two beautiful babies. As many of you know my pregnancy with Lia and her sister was stressful and I was held captive through most of my pregnancy and gave birth to Lia and Leilani when I was just over 22 weeks pregnant. The doctors were skeptical if they would survive or if they would make it the odds were against them. I prepared myself for the worst but was hoping for the best and the best thing happened. Lia and Leilani fought and they survived. Lia was strong from birth. She was the most beautiful woman I know. She was a wild and free spirit. God is great for bringing her into our lives and blessing us with her beautiful little soul. She had dreams to help those in need. She wanted to travel the world which she did plenty of times. She gave up college to be a traveler to see the world and live an amazing life according to her. Growing up she had the most beautiful soul I remember a particular time when I was diagnosed with breast cancer and we had our first benefit dinner she pulled money out of her purse and laid it on the table. I asked her where she got the money to donate to the cause to find a cure and she looked up at me with her toothless smile and told me it was money from the tooth fairy she had saved up and wanted to use that money to help. That's who Lia was. She was a gentle, loving and caring soul with a free spirit. She loved animals and she loved children. If she could have owned a zoo or an animal sanctuary she would have. That's why she loved Africa so much. It was her favorite place she visited because she got to enjoy some of her favorite animals and being up close and able to pet a cheetah. She had so much ambition in her body. She may have struggled a bit but I was always proud of her. She had her own way of living life and she lived it to be happy to find her own happiness. Lia didn't want any regrets or any what ifs. She took a chance whenever she could. She wanted nothing but happiness in this world and in life. She took chances, she made mistakes but every mistake was worth the chance because she was an optimist and believed that life was better without wondering what if. I know she would have been a wonderful mother to Malachi. She was an amazing daughter that brought her father and I so much happiness a blessing in the dark times of our lives, the rainbow in our storm. She had this habit of being able to make us laugh but also the ability to love us beyond words. She gave so many hugs, so many kisses when she was younger. She will always be one of my greatest accomplishments in life. I wish I had more time with her but I know that she's an angel now watching over all of us especially her son Malachi. She will always be his guardian angel," I say with tears falling from my eyes. "I'm thankful and blessed that our great lord and God blessed us with her in our lives. She was definitely one of a kind. There can never or will never be another like her," I say. "Lia, we love you please keep watch over us." I say before I make my way back to Roman and sit down. He wraps his arm around my shoulders before I break down crying on his shoulder as Leilani makes her way to the front to share about Lia.
"Lia was more than just my twin sister," Leilani begins to say. "She was my best friend even though sometimes I didn't agree with her choices and sometimes we didn't get along she was still my best friend. We grew up together as best friends of course there were times we fought but no one was allowed to mess with my sister but me. We had each other's backs since day 1. We would always talk to each other in our made up language and she was my first best friend. One time I beat a boy up at school for picking on her because that's how we did things. We couldn't have been anymore different but that's what was special our differences brought us closer instead of distanced us. She could make me laugh more than anyone I know. I could feel her pain and she could feel mine. We could talk to each other without saying a word. We were closer than anyone could ever imagine. Ever since she passed away I have felt an emptiness inside of me, the other part of me missing and gone forever it's been hard but I know Lia wouldn't want me to be sad and she wouldn't want me to cry. She would want me to be happy for her because that's the kind of person she was. She always found happiness in the saddest times. She always found the light in the darkness. I never heard her say a negative thing about anyone kindness and choosing kindness was her motto but being happy was the most important thing to her. She didn't care what people thought of her, she didn't care what people said about her she knew she only had to please herself and make herself happy. Her happiness didn't rest on other people and what they wanted or expected from her. She was herself all the time and she would tell you like it is. She was something special. Of course I thought I would grow old with my sister and we would have our kids growing up together to be just as close as we are, to be best friends. God had other plans for Lia I may never understand why he took away my best friend but I believe he needed her more than I do. She will always be my angel and my best friend. I'm going to miss Lia more than words can say. I could go on about all the fun we had together, tell you a few stories but that would take me forever because we had a lot of good times and made some really good memories together. These memories I will always hold in my heart. I love you, Lia. You'll always be my best friend. I can't wait till I see you again," says Leilani before she breaks down crying as she joins us.
After the funeral at the church we make our way to the cemetery where Lia will be buried. We chose to bury her next to her older brother Toa. I know Toa was waiting for her when she got to Heaven and she got to meet her older brother she so often asked about. I can imagine them being best friends watching over all of us but it doesn't make it hurt any less than it does. My heart is broken as they lower her casket into the ground, Roman and I cry together as we watch our first born daughter being put into a ground. It was never supposed to be like this. I know one thing is for sure we are going to keep Lia and her memory alive in Malachi. He will grow up knowing how much his mom loves him and how she's always here in his heart and watching over him. She never even got to hold her son and she wanted him so much. We toss white roses into the ground on top of the white casket before throwing some dirt onto her casket leaving the grave open for them to continue her burial later.
"Tayla," says Alyssa as Roman and I are standing looking down at Toa's grave.
"Yes?" I ask turning around.
"I'm sorry that I crashed the funeral but regardless of what Lia did she was still like family to me. I'm so sorry for your loss," she says. "If there's anything I can do please let me know. I will do anything."
"Thank-you," I say with a soft smile. "I'm sorry for what Lia has done to your family."
"It's not Lia's fault," she says, "Ben and I have been having problems for years. We married each other because we thought it was the right thing to do. I know he loves me but I also know he loves Lia more. It's been hard on him dealing with her loss. He has some stuff he needs to sort out. He has some feelings he needs to deal with. He wants to be a part of Malachi's life," she says, "but right now he's not ready to be a father. He said it pains him too much to be here."
"What are you saying?" asks Roman. "He's bailing?"
"I'm not saying he's bailing," she says, "I'm just saying he needs time to figure things out. He's hurting," she says. "He went back to Arizona with his family."
"So what about Malachi?" I ask.
"I don't know. You will need to talk to Ben about that. I'm sorry," she says. "I'm truly sorry," she says before she walks away leaving Roman and I looking at each other. We aren't young enough to raise a baby and we were looking forward to having all of our kids out of the house this is not what we expected to have in our 50's.
*A/N: What did you think? Please review. Thank-you for reading.