Woo! Been quite some time, hasn't it? Well I hope it was worth the wait! I incorporated some of the ideas I received from reviews! Enjoy! (*Edit: I broke the forth wall in here guys! Why didn't any one tell me?*)
Kakuzu counted the shining coins laid out in front of him, piled high in neat stacks. The old curmudgeon bent over the money in a way that might remind you of Ebenezer Scrooge. Well, Kakuzu couldn't argue-he and the man were a lot alike. Both smart enough, first and foremost, to know that money is where power truly lies.
Kakuzu grinned as he finished this stack and began a new one; few things ever made him truly smile, but the clinking sound of money was one of them. As spring approached, criminals were getting brave, and his bounty rewards were higher than ever. Yes, Kakuzu was quite content.
Until the door slammed open and his precious money toppled from its neat piles.
Kakuzu narrowed his strangely colored eyes. "Hidan," he hissed. It was not a question, it was a statement. No one else could interrupt the old man in such a way that Hidan did.
"Sh** Kakuzu! Look at all that cash!" Hidan shouted, oblivious to Kakuzu's annoyance.
"Did you need something?" Kakuzu growled. His patience was wearing thin.
Hidan finally detected Kakuzu's grumpy mood. "What's the matter, old man? I barged in on your f*** time with your money?"
"I do not f*** my money!" snarled Kakuzu.
"Well, you do always say your only love is money," Hidan pointed out.
Kakuzu rubbed his temples. "Did you come in here to bad mouth me, or did you actually have something important to say to me?"
Hidan shrugged. "Oh yeah. Pain wants us or something…"
Oh great. Another mission, Kakuzu thought, groaning.
Down in the dining room, Pain gave the pair the mission briefing. Their mission was to find this frog that was apparently an endangered species, and capture it alive (As Pain incessantly stressed) so the Leaf scientists could study it and perhaps save the species. Kakuzu pondered on why exactly Pain was sending the immortal duo on a mission to find a frog. Wasn't this like a job for genin?
"You'll be searching near the Leaf Village, so stay hidden, understood?" Pain stressed, "Also, I decided Sakura will be accompanying you."
"Cherry? Why the f*** do we need a healer on this crack-job mission? And can we even use her? I thought she was like, on loan or something from the Leaf."
"We have permission to send her on this mission," Pain explained.
Kakuzu said nothing. He didn't really have a problem with Cherry coming with them, so long as she didn't get in the way. In fact, though he wouldn't admit it, he was kinda thankful she was coming; a little company might help him keep his sanity with his Jashinist partner.
"Good luck, team," Pain said.
"We don't really need luck. 'Specially not with this crappy mission!"
Kakuzu eyed his partner. "For once, we agree on something."
Leaping through the trees, Sakura was happy to be outside. She had been cooped up in that dark, dank castle for far too long. Now, as she felt the breeze rustle her pink hair, she was excited for the oncoming spring weather. She took a deep breath before she catapulted off the next branch.
Sakura wasn't sure her companions were feeling as good as she was. Hidan was uncharacteristically quiet, his pink eyes staring straight forward, and Kakuzu didn't seem to react in any abnormal manner.
"Isn't this weather wonderful?" Sakura chirped. "It feels good to be outside!"
Kakuzu said nothing. Hidan gave her a dirty look.
"You're excited?" Hidan asked, "This mission sucks! It's terrible! We used to get cool missions, but now we're reduced to f***ing frog-catchers!"
Sakura rolled her eyes. "At least you finally have a mission."
It was true; the Akatsuki had had a shortage of missions, as of late. The members haven't known what to do with themselves, most of them bored out of their minds, some resulting to crazy pranks to entertain themselves. (*cough* Deidara *cough*). They had absolutely nothing to do. Sakura, on the other hand, was busier than ever. All those pranks had caused plenty of accidents.
The Leaf Village had been quiet for awhile, communications-wise. Even Sakura wasn't getting any contact from Lady Tsunade, though Sakura had sent countless letters via Shisui asking for updates. In a way, Sakura was glad to be sent on this mission, if only to get a glimpse of the Hidden Leaf Village to be sure it was still intact. She only wished she could actually visit all of her friends…
Kakuzu halted abruptly on a branch. He looked around.
"What is it?" Sakura asked.
"Yeah, Kakuzu, we're almost there!" Hidan shouted, "Can't we just-"
"Shh!" Kakuzu shushed Hidan as he turned to look behind him. "Someone's following us."
Just then, tentacles shot out of Kakuzu as he launched his hands into a nearby bush. He pried a figure out of their hiding spot and into the open forest floor.
Sakura sat shocked at the blonde who had apparently been stalking them.
"Who are you?" Kakuzu commanded forcefully.
"Shouldn't I be asking you that question?" the stalker yelled back, "You're the one in Konoha territory!"
Suddenly Sakura recognized the whiny voice; it was none other than Ino Yamanaka, one of her best friends. Ino stood, smug as ever, dressed in her purple outfit with her Leaf headband tied around her thin waist. Her pale blonde hair was pulled back in a ponytail and her light blue-green eyes shone with annoyance. Her lack of patience was matched only by Kakuzu, and perhaps even the knuckle-head ninja himself.
"Ino!" Sakura greeted, waving like a maniac.
The blonde peered upwards in disbelief. "Sakura?"
Sakura leaped out of the tree, and the two kunoichi rushed to each other, embracing.
"Sakura, what are you doing out here?" Ino asked, her tone now more curious than accusational.
"On a mission with these two," Sakura indicated the confused immortals. They had no idea of the rituals of girlfriend-hood; catching-up first, explaining to clueless guys later.
"Oh, that's right, you're stuck with the Akatsuki," she remembered, "couldn't they find another medical ninja to take care of them?"
"Oh, it's not so bad. I've gotten used to it."
"Gotten used to it?" Ino gaped at her friend. She looked curiously at the other two before lowering her voice. "But Sakura, it's the Akatsuki. It might be fine now, but they're shady! One day you might find yourself sleeping with the fishes."
Sakura gave her a quizzical look, thinking of Kisame. She has no idea how accurate that statement might be. "What's with the weird attitude? It's not like I'm in the mafia or anything. The Akatsuki are our allies."
"Yeah, but…I dunno…" Ino looked at Sakura with her face covered with concern.
"I'm fine. Really," Sakura smiled, "And wait until you hear how much I have to tell you!"
Sakura and Ino shared a short scream of excitement. Sakura was finally relaxing-seeing her best friend again made her feel comfortable, a condition she hadn't experience in a long time.
"Ahem," she heard from behind. Kakuzu and Hidan were still bumming around, waiting for Sakura.
"Oh right. Our mission," Sakura said. She turned to Ino. "Hey, Ino, we're looking for a frog. Specifically the-" she consulted her notes "-Konoha Red Frog. Seen any around here?"
Ino looked at the picture in Sakura's hands. "No, I can't say that I have," she told Sakura, sounding truly disappointed. Then her eyes lit up, "But my shift's almost over. I can come help you."
"That would be great!" Sakura quipped. She looked back at the pair accompanying her. "Guys, this is my best friend, Ino Yamanaka. Ino this is Kakuzu-" a grunt from the curmudgeon "-and Hidan-" Hidan flashed a daring smile.
Ino's cheeks flushed red. "Hi…" she waved absentmindedly, smiling up at Hidan, who was, of course, puffing out his chest and doing his best "hot guy" impression.
Sakura pulled Ino away to continue on their mission. And she was the one trying to warn me about them in the first place, Sakura remembered, furrowing her brow.
While they jumped through the trees towards their destination, Sakura continued to converse with Ino.
"What's with the getup?" Ino queried, eyeing Sakura's cloak.
"Um, it's just…uh…uniform, you know," Sakura stammered, clutching the cloak tighter, sparkling clouds glimmering. Ino seemed to look right through her flimsy excuse, so Sakura decided to change the subject. "So what was your 'shift'?"
"Oh, I had border patrol."
"Border patrol?"
Ino nodded, looking grim. "There have been attacks on the Leaf as of late. Not anything huge, just little groups of mercenaries, but it's enough to make us all worry. Lady Tsunade ramped up the security, just in case. There's the border patrol, of course. Communications have been restricted, too, and everything coming into the Village is checked out."
"I guess that's why I haven't been hearing any news. My letters haven't made it…"
"Actually, your letters arrive, just fine. In fact, we have a hard time keeping the ravens from going straight to Tsunade before being checked out."
Sakura recalled what Itachi had told her. Ravens are extremely intelligent. She guessed there was some truth to that.
Ino landed at the edge of the cave they had come to.
"There should be a pond in here, where the frog is," Kakuzu growled, pushing past the kunoichi into the dark, damp cave.
"Well, let's go see what the f*** with this frog is all about."
"Don't you mean fuss?" Sakura corrected.
"Ah, fuss, f***, it's all the same," he winked at Ino as he walked past. Ino giggled.
Sakura glared at her, giving her a don't-f***-with-him look. Ino waved it off and followed Hidan. Sakura shook her head. This was becoming a lot like that uncomfortable situation with Sai…
As the crew delved deeper into the cave, Sakura felt sweat droplets slowly rolling down her forehead. She hadn't realized how hot it was getting.
"Damn! Is it hot in here!" Hidan announced.
"Well, there's no need to shout," Kakuzu told him, annoyed. But Hidan wasn't paying any attention-he was gazing back at Ino again, only annoying Kakuzu even further.
Ino was also still giving Hidan goo-goo eyes. Kakuzu was definitely not the only person annoyed by that. But Ino's gaze was finally broken by the "pond" they had arrived at.
"Look at that!" Ino pointed ahead, eyes wide.
They had reached the edge of a cliff, below which the "pond" simmered.
"Holy hell!" Hidan exclaimed, "No wonder it was so freaking hot in here!"
Sakura stared in disbelief, too. The "pond" was no pond at all. It was a river of hot boiling lava. The entire room glowed a dark red and jets of steam hissed from every available crack.
"We're supposed to find a frog here?" Sakura called.
"I suppose," Kakuzu answered, "Now we know why they sent us."
They all stood there, hesitant to continue into the inferno, until finally Hidan announced, "Well, that frog isn't gonna find itself!" and started skipping along the rocks over the lava.
"He's so brave!" Ino marveled.
"Or just stupid," Kakuzu grunted.
For once, we're on the same wavelength, Sakura thought, smirking at Kakuzu.
Sakura decided she better follow the insane Jashinist so she could heal him once he fell in. And he would fall in.
Sakura scanned her surroundings while she carefully traversed the molten landscape. "I don't see any fro-" she was cut off by the arms that emerged from the ground and lifted her, narrowly avoiding the needles that had just launched out of the lava.
"Thanks Kakuzu!" Sakura called, her breathing heavy.
Kakuzu merely grunted. Behind him, Ino looked at her with alarm. "What's that thing?"
Sakura looked back at the lava and saw it-two massive, yellow, slimy eyes had surfaced, glaring at her. It was the source of the attack, but what was it?
In an explosion of lava, the creature leaped out for a follow up attack. Sakura dropped to the ground as the arms retracted, once again narrowly dodging the attack.
Sakura looked at her attacker: It had landed on the opposite shore and was turning slowly around. It was big, fat and red, a hulking figure on all fours. Then it croaked.
"That's the frog?" Sakura asked unbelievingly.
The creature answered with another croak. It puffed up its chest and spewed forth the spines it had thrown earlier. This time, Sakura was ready. She leaped out of harm's way, landing near Hidan. She looked back at the dripping spines, realizing they were coated in a foul-smelling substance.
"Guys, watch the spines! They're poison!"
"Oh, he thinks he can get us with poison, huh? Well bring it, you mother fu-whoa!" Hidan was snatched by the frog's quick, sticky tongue, dragged into the lava.
Ino screeched. Kakuzu just sighed.
The frog made its next move, leaping toward Kakuzu and Ino. Kakuzu dodged accordingly, grabbing an immobile Ino. The frog crashed into the lava, submerged again.
"Ino! Keep moving!" Sakura called. But Ino was frozen with fear, still staring at where Hidan had disappeared. Where is that freak, anyways?
The red frog attacked again, spraying sparks on Ino, still frozen. Luckily, Kakuzu was alert, and extended his arms to grab Ino again. The frog launched rapid-fire attacks, seeming to jump off the surface of the lava, grappling with Kakuzu. Then, it fired its needle attack. Kakuzu jumped out of range, but Sakura worriedly realized Ino was still there.
"Ino, MOVE!"
Another figure jumped out of the lava in front of Ino, receiving the blow for her.
"I already told you, you damn frog. Ain't no goddamn poison gonna kill me!" Hidan sneered, unrecognizable with all the burns and lava pouring off of him.
Ino screamed again. I don't blame her.
Hidan flung his scythe with a war-cry. The frog jumped out of the way, forcing Sakura, behind it, to dodge his scythe, too.
"Hey watch it Hidan!" Sakura scolded. She ran up to him.
"Sorry, Cherry," Hidan coughed, somehow still grinning despite all his apparent pain.
Sakura did a quick check of him before she decided that he better take an antidote for the poison first. She rummaged in her bag. "Here-take this."
Hidan eyed the vial. "Don't bother with me, Cherry."
"Don't be ridiculous. The poison may not kill you but it'll paralyze you, then where would we be?"
"Well, I am pretty important."
Hidan's injuries did not prevent Sakura from smacking him. Then, she set to healing him. She worked quickly, conscious of the impending attack the frog was surely planning. It had been quite some time since she had done any healing in the field. She looked up at Ino.
"Ino, I could use some help here!" Sakura yelled.
Ino finally snapped out of her stupor at the sound of Sakura's voice and rushed over to assist her.
"You work on the burns on his back," Sakura instructed.
Ino stared at his severe injuries, injuries which would've killed any normal person. "How…"
"I'll explain later," Sakura barked, "Just, heal him!"
Ino frantically began healing his back, snapping at last back into normal Ino mode. "These are third degree burns, I don't know how much I can heal him…"
"We just need to allow for movement. We can treat him further later on."
Suddenly, the frog reappeared, avoiding Kakuzu and headed straight for Sakura. Hidan was ready though, and he threw his scythe again, barely missing Sakura. The frog squealed as it was scraped, but otherwise escaped unharmed.
"Don't hurt it! We want it alive!" Ino warned.
"Damn! I just can't get a lock on that thing!" Hidan continued manipulating his scythe, aiming for the agile frog.
The frog managed to ram into Hidan and I, while Ino scarcely avoided it.
"I'll take care of this!" Kakuzu called, "Wind Style!"
The hot cavern suddenly came alive as a rough gust of wind blew through. Lava was leaping dangerously high in the wind. The frog could no longer jump without being carried away by Kakuzu's jutsu.
"Alright! That's more like it!" Hidan beamed. He pulled on the cord, pulling his scythe back. The triple blade gleamed red from the heat as he readied his next attack.
But Ino was planning her attack, too. "Ninja art! Mind-Transfer Jutsu!"
Somehow, the fat frog rolled out of Ino's line of attack, and she instead hit the unsuspecting Kakuzu. Both Ino and Kakuzu went limp. Kakuzu perked up, looking around confusedly.
"Huh? What happened?" Ino's voice trilled from Kakuzu's body. She looked at her(his?) arms, a mismatched bunch of flesh sewn together. "Ahhh!"
"Aw, sh**!" Hidan's attack missed its target and the frog turned toward him, spewing a fire similar to a fire style jutsu. Sakura leaped away, but Hidan caught the brunt of the blow.
"It breathes fire, too?" Sakura said, astonished.
"No wonder this f***er is almost extinct!"
Ino finally had enough sense to release the jutsu, sprinting away. Kakuzu finally regained his senses and made to reactivate his jutsu, until the frog pummeled him.
"How're we supposed to capture this thing without killing it? It's too damn fast!"
Sakura glanced back at Kakuzu, who was once again fighting with the frog. How can we capture this thing…?
"Sakura, I'm sorry. I'm no help at all. I tried to use my Mind-Transfer Jutsu, but-"
"Wait, Ino, that's it!" Sakura realized, "Can you mind transfer that frog long enough to trap it in something?"
"Well, yeah but…"
"Okay. Hidan I need your help."
Hidan noticed Sakura's suddenly confident expression. He smiled. "What's the plan, Cherry?"
Kakuzu was sweating profusely from all his various body parts. The creatures attack just wouldn't relent. What's worse, the thing was apparently immune to fire, giving it an advantage in this raging inferno. Kakuzu wanted to just Lightning Style this thing and leave, but he couldn't kill it either. Kakuzu was beginning to wear, he wasn't sure how much longer he could keep this up…
Suddenly, he heard a scream from Hidan. Another worthless attack from him was only enough to distract it, and was too slow to make a legitimate hit. Kakuzu needed something better than his partner's worthless attacks!
Hidan made a close-range slice and the frog jumped thirty feet in the air, dodging as predicted. Then Hidan tossed his scythe at it, falling way short. What was he thinking…?
Then Kakuzu saw it. Or her, rather. Cherry Blossom was riding the scythe upwards, and used it as a platform to jump off of. She was now level with the frog.
"Take this!" she screeched at the surprised frog. Cherry's fist slammed into the frog, forcing it downwards. Hidan dodged just in time for the frog to crash into the ground.
The blonde girl was ready, setting up her technique. "Mind-Transfer Jutsu!"
The frog suddenly seized and stopped fighting. It hopped up to Kakuzu with an almost questioning look, cocking its head to one side.
"C'mon Kakuzu, tie it up!" Sakura instructed.
Kakuzu couldn't help but smile. There were few things that ever made him smile; this was one of those things.
"Oh thank goodness we are outta there!" Ino exclaimed.
Sakura was relieved too, feeling the fresh, cool air rushing across her face again. It was a nice day.
Ino flopped forward onto her hands and knees, rubbing her behind. "Ouch, I think I fell on my butt!"
"Really? Feels okay to me," Hidan said, feeling clutching Ino's rear-end.
"Huh? GET OFF OF ME YOU PERVERT!" Hidan was promptly slapped across the face.
He sneered, rubbing his cheek. "Not quite as hard as Cherry. Temper's about the same, though"
About time she learned, Sakura thought to herself.
The four arrived at the entrance to the Leaf Village to drop off the unconscious Konoha Red Frog.
"I'll deliver it for you," Ino offered.
"Thanks Ino. Well I guess we'd better head out…" Sakura looked longingly at the village.
"….Yeah, well, you'll be back soon I'm sure," Ino assured.
"I hope so." The best friends hugged.
"C'mon Cherry, let's get going! I don't wanna miss dinner!"
Sakura reluctantly turned to leave, "Be sure to write Ino!"
"I will."
Sakura leaped off, following the pair, as Ino waved.
Sakura gazed at the village, her friend never once leaving the entrance. Then she continued forward, back to the Akatsuki castle.
"Well, that's a good mission complete, I'd say," Hidan announced.
Not for me, Sakura thought. She turned to catch one last glimpse of her home, The Village Hidden in the Leaves.
Wow! Total destroyed continuity here! Sorry about that! By the time I realized the breach in canon, I was pretty much finished; I couldn't be bothered to rewrite the entire chapter. And besides, this was already like my third attempt at trying to write this chapter.
Oh, and Happy Tenth Chapter! (Been that long already?) I have just one question today:
1. What was YOUR favorite chapter?