Chapter 9

BPOV

I was very buzzed and having a really good time with Edward. Dinner was superb and I knew I would be visiting this restaurant again.

Edward had effectively thrown me off balance with his declaration and I found that I liked the exhilaration. My life had been so structured for so long that this was definitely exciting. It felt good to be wanted and he made me feel so sexy with the looks he was giving me. He achieved it all without being too over the top with his flirting. We had a pleasant meal without raunchy innuendo, he said his peace and that was that. We spent the meal catching up on our lives. I was surprised to find out all the hobbies Edward had picked up. He was currently working on his helicopter license much to my delight. He almost had enough flight hours logged he needed about 10 more solo hours. He planned to buy his own helicopter once completed. He promised to take me up once he was legit.

I could really picture him sitting in a helicopter with those aviator shades on, hair tousled looking extremely sexy. The visual was wet dream inducing.

Afterward our table was cleared Edward informed me that a friend of his and his sister were singing in the bar area tonight with their jazz band. He settled our tab and we made our way towards the bar to find seats. The bar area had a massive oak bar that stretch across the entire room with 5 bar tenders behind it. There was a dance floor and small stage that the jazz combo was set up on. Around the floor there were tall elegant pub bar tables with stools, the tops of the table matched the bar. Edward found us an empty one and I excused myself to the ladies room.

I finished my business and as I was washing my hands I checked out my reflection. It had taken me years to grow into myself after my surgery. I had spent my entire lifetime as a male and it had been a culture shock to learn to, dress as a woman, walk in heels and do makeup. All things that I had secretly coveted but wouldn't dare experiment with. My father would have killed me for sure if he had ever caught me. Even as a child I knew no good would come from me playing in my mothers clothes.

My dark hair was still in place I had grown it out over the years and it now fell to the middle of my back. Tanya had layer it and highlighted it subtly with a light honey brown. My eyes were wide set and lips full and pouty. My face was narrow and I had high cheek bones. These same features had gotten me teased and beat up mercilessly in school because I looked so….feminine. Now I was considered beautiful. I was still very slender only now I had small A cup breast added to my frame. I had never been shaped like a boy how anyone could have thought I was a boy is beyond me. My hips had a gentle curve and so did my backside. My legs and feet were dainty as well and my neck was slender. I opted out on the breast implants I decided I would deal with whatever the hormones allowed me to grow naturally. One surgery was enough.

For the first time in a long time I was allowing myself to hope that maybe just maybe things would work out for me. My eyes were sparkling and cheeks flushed. I looked extremely happy, I could stop kidding myself I wanted it to work with Edward. Of course it was a possibility that it wouldn't but it was worth a try. And I hoped I was enough for Edward I couldn't help but wonder if I could truly make him happy. Or doubt that I was enough "woman" for him. I knew we had so much to discuss but tonight wasn't the night. I wanted to just enjoy myself in the company of a man without worrying about a secret. It was refreshing to just be able to let loose without thoughts of repercussions. I redid my lipstick and gave myself a once over before exiting.

On the way out I actually passed the young lady from the dining room. She looked as if she was starting to address me but I kept walking as if she wasn't there. I had no time for foolishness tonight.

After rejoining Edward we ordered more wine. Edward assured me after I started to protest that we could take an Uber home and he could return in the morning for his car. I relaxed as we watched an elderly couple be serenaded by the band. They were on the floor dancing to At Last by Etta James. Several people were surrounding them I would guess family and friends. As the singer crooned I was envious of the way he looked at her as they swayed softly to the music. Even at their age you could tell she meant the world to him and she adored him in return. They only had eyes for one another. It was the sweetest thing I had seen in a long time. I felt a pang in my chest wondering if that would ever be me.

After the song ended the singer said "Lets wish John and Mable a happy 50th anniversary!" the crowd erupted in applause and Mable blushed down to her roots at the attention as John hammed it up and took a bow.

"Beautiful isn't it?" I heard Edward say to me. I turned to look at him just to catch him watching me closely.

"It's something to aspire to a lasting love." I answered with a smile. "They are adorable I hope one day I have that."

"Hmmmm" was the only response I got from him. I cocked my head and looked at him but his attention was caught by something on the stage. I followed his gaze and a young African American man was now on the mic. He caught Edwards eye and pounded his fist over his heart and pointed at Edward who nodded back in return. I blinked at the exchange.

"This special request is for a friend of mine it's one of my favorites I hope you enjoy." At that moment Edward grabbed my had and led me to the dance floor. He pulled me softly into his embrace as the music started and I felt at home in his arms. He was so much taller than I was and now with the added bulk his masculinity had never been more pronounced to me. It called to me like a beacon in the night. I melted into his arms instinctively as he led me around the floor.

The singer begin singing, his smooth beautiful voice sending the room into silence. But it was the lyrics that rocked me to my core.

I wake up to shadows,

Touching your pillows, looking for a trace of your smile.

And that's when it hit me, you're no longer with me,

In facts it's been quite a while

Since I sit here drinking coffee as you sipped your tea.

And you swore you'd always love and always care for me

And even though there's no more us to save

It's you I crave.

I crave your touch

I crave your lips

I miss so much

The excitement of your kiss

But since your gone my heart wont behave

It's your love that I still crave.

The words begin to fade in the background as I trembled in his arms. I looked up into his eyes and my vision blurred with tears I was trying my best not to shed. He pulled me closer and I buried my face in his neck as he whispered in my ear. "Every time I heard this song it reminded me of the tragedy that was us. Everywhere I looked I saw something that reminded me of you or something I wish you were there to share with me. It was never ending torture not knowing what you were doing or who you were with. I think the biggest haunt of all was the thought that you hated me, that alone gave me more sleepless nights than anything."

I raised up and looked at him Edward had always been a good guy but he was like every other male not exactly forthcoming with gushy emotions. He just wasn't a sappy guy so for him to open up like this without any prompting told me a lot. He pulled me back in close as if he was trying to meld me to him. His lips were close to my ear.

"For the first year just getting out of the bed took effort. I was just existing without you. I don't know how I managed to not track you down all these years. Now my reasoning seems ridiculous when you are here in my arms. All this time wasted so I definitely plan to make up for lost time." He murmured against my ear. He then took his finger and skimmed my jawline causing me to shiver before he pulled back. His eyes were stormy and determined.

The singer ended the song and the audience erupted in applause as Edward lead me back to our table. We spent the remainder of the evening listening to great music and before long the night was over. The mixture of wine and Edward had me on cloud nine. True to his word Edward called an Uber and saw me home. I could tell he wanted to stay but it was much too soon and neither of us wanted to ruin what could possibly be by moving too fast.

At my door he waited for me to get my keys out before saying. "I will call you tomorrow if that's ok with you." He was slowly walking me backwards until my back was against my front door. I felt his arm circle my back just as I made contact with the door.

"I'd ..I'd like that." I breathed out. Edward was so close to my lips that I instinctively closed my eyes. He brushed his lips ever so softly across mine before lingering at the side of my mouth and placing a soft kiss there. Just this single simple kiss sent electric shock waves through me. He pulled away lust heavy in his eyes before smirking at me.

"I think I'd better go before I lose all my good intentions." He raised my hand to his lips kissing my knuckles. "Good night Bella."

I somehow managed to say "Good night Edward" before entering my house only to find Tanya on the inside still awake waiting up for me.

"It's about time you got home I've been dying with curiosity." She hissed accusingly.

I burst out laughing before I squealed into my hands and did a little tap dance in place.

"Oh wow that must've been some date. Spill!" She demanded.

Pulling off my heels I plopped on the couch next to her and gave her the rundown of the evening. She was impressed to say the least. Edward had planned a date that wasn't over the top cheesy. We had a lovely meal listened to good music and really got to talk to one another. The first time around I was always so careful with topics about myself that there was lots of things now that he was naturally curious about.

"It was perfect Tanya." I said through a yawn the wine starting to takes its toll.

Tanya grabbed my hand and dragged me to bed I slipped out of my dress and into a t-shirt and she climbed in next to me. Hands under our cheeks we faced one another her as we talked.

"Do you think you guys can make it? You know after everything." she was whisper talking.

"I hope so but I'm scared." I admitted softly.

"Love is scary hun. Especially when you've been hurt as much as you have but don't you think that if you could be truly happy that its all worth it in the end? You have to decide if he is worth the risk."

"He could really really destroy me T. He almost did once."

"Have I ever told you that I left Demetri before we got married?" I shook my head no. "I was so scared of what would happen if it came out that I had my mothers disease. My father left my mom after a few months. He just couldn't handle it and so he had her committed to a home and just left. I thought to myself if a man that has been completely devoted to a woman for over twenty years can abandon her so easily I didn't stand a chance. I felt that he would someday want children and I couldn't give him that and what if I had early onset." Tears ran down her cheek at the memory. "Just the thought of him not wanting me scared me shitless. I ran and was gone for almost four months and they were the worst of my life. I ran into him by chance one day. He was with another woman and Bella I thought I would die it hurt so bad."

I frowned I at the image. I couldn't even imagine Demetri with anyone other than T they were so evenly matched.

She chuckled at my expression. "I know right. It turned out to be innocent she was the wife of a patient and they were going over treatment. But it gave me a reality check he wouldn't stay single long, girls were already sniffing around. I realized it was worth the risk HE was worth the risk. I told him everything and well here we are. Everyone thought he was so stupid to just forgive me and take me back so simply. But he told me he knew I was meant to be his and he was miserable without me so punishing me would be hurting himself. But I know I hurt him really badly Bella which is why I can somewhat relate to Edward."

I placed my forehead against hers. "I want to try I really do."

She yawned this time. "Good cuz B he is really really hot."

I giggled "I know."

"We should take him and Demetri somewhere to show them off soon. Make some bitches jealous."

I snorted "Go to sleep T."

"Ok."

We woke the next morning with Erin squeezed in between us snoring softly. It was only 8am but I smelled coffee which indicated Demetri was in the kitchen since T was still sleeping soundly. I eased out of bed and went downstairs.

I walked in and Demetri handed me a mug. "I figure coffee would wake you. I guess my wife is upstairs?"

"Yeah she's in my bed." You know in college that line would have sent my libido in overdrive. He grinned lasciviously.

I rolled my eye at him. "So how do you feel about the baby thing." I asked him since we had a little private time.

He sobered up and sighed. "I'm ecstatic that Tanya is even considering it. There are so many options Bella. I could use my sperm and a surrogate. Tanya could use someone else's eggs and my sperm and carry the child herself. We could adopt a child. Or we can simply have our own biologically. I truly don't care as long as Tanya is it's mother. But Bella TANYA has to come to terms with it all. I'm thrilled we get a kid no matter how he or she comes into our lives but she needs to wrap her own mind around everything. I think she has convinced herself for so long that children were never an option that now it's all overwhelming her."

I could understand that I had almost done the same thing.

He looked thoughtful for a minute. "I guess I have to thank you for this." I must've looked confused because he said. "Bella you and Erin showed her that you can create a family more than one way. Before you guys Tanya wouldn't even approach the subject now she sees that DNA has nothing to do with loving a child. So thank you for giving us an alternative to what we thought we wouldn't have."

I smiled at him knowing what he said was probably true. "Just make sure you tell her that and keep supporting like you are and she will eventually make a decision." I patted his hand.

I got up and started breakfast. French toast, eggs, and bacon. I was just about done cooking when my house line rang. I didn't even bother answering assuming it was a telemarketer or something. No one had my home line because I really only had it for my alarm system and it was part of my cable bundle. It eventually stopped ringing.

Tanya and Erin came downstairs both stretching and yawning still half asleep. Tanya greeted Demetri with a kiss he handed her a mug as well. Just as we all sat down the phone started ringing yet again.

I huffed irritated and went to answer so I could tell them to add me to the do not call list.

"Hello" I spoke into the phone with attitude. A sales pitch for frequent flyer miles or better cable service is what I braced myself for. What I didn't expect to hear was the gruff voice of my father on the other end.

AN: The song I used during the restaurant scene is called I Crave by Marc Dorsey. It is an absolutely beautiful heartbreaking song youtube it after you read this chapter and you can totally feel Edwards emotions and why it fit this scene so perfectly. It's from a favorite movie of mine The Wood it's on the soundtrack. The restaurant is an idea I've been considering doing here with a friend and I'm hashing out the details. I can't help but wonder if it's possible for me to own and still keep my job….Because IM NOT QUITTING MY JOB LOL Wish me luck.

Poor Bella wants to give Edward a shot but is understandably frightened. And Charlie rears his head what could he possibly want.