A/N: Sorry for the delay, real life suddenly got in the way, lol. I hope I'll be able to update more quickly again! Thanks a lot for your comments, alerts and favorites! :)

Chapter Ten: It's Okay

Tony had been feeling restless ever since he had gotten home to his apartment. He had tried to relax, had tried to keep his mind from wandering towards that damn conversation earlier that morning but the usual DiNozzo repression tactics didn't seem to work this time. He had tried to watch a movie – to no avail. He had tried to tidy up his living-room – to no avail. Had tried to surf the internet for something interesting, for a funny video that he could send McGee about a cat or something – to no avail. So, there he was now, pacing around in the living-room, trying desperately to forget. He had pondered whether or not to call Abby but she would surely be so mad at him (justified) that he wouldn't be able to calm her down long enough to actually get a perspective from her other than 'Stupid, DiNozzo!' And well, he already knew that one. So there was nothing left to do for him than to wait for Gibbs who might or might not show up.

He had also debated to take some more painkillers but in the end had decided against it. Granted, his shoulder was still hurting a lot but on the off chance that Gibbs would show after all, he wanted to keep a clear mind. Those damn painkillers had done their work the day before and Tony had no desire to relive that experience ever again – though, as he came to think about it, hadn't it been a rather glorious time when the older man had practically tucked him in, hadn't minded Tony's involuntary spilling of his feelings? Yep, it had only been half-bad but the stupidity of this morning's Sober-Tony weren't quite that satisfying, were they now?

He had settled on a movie after all because, well, truth be told, he was feeling pretty drowsy after all. He must have drifted off to sleep some time into Pulp Fiction because as a loud knock on his door reached his ears, he almost fell off the couch, his heart suddenly beating a mile a minute. He internally ran the options, who it could be but was pretty sure that only one person was likely – Gibbs. But then again, wasn't exactly that highly unlikely?

Another knock disrupted his inner musings and he slowly got up, figuring that he'd never find out, if he didn't open that door. Sighing and still trying to keep his pulse that was incredibly loud in his ears by now in check, he opened the front door and sure enough, there he was in all his glory – the one and only Leroy Jethro Gibbs. He still didn't look quite alright, though not as furious (and not that disappointed, either, but that hadn't been real – figment of his wishful thinking again) as before. His cheeks were slightly red and his hair a bit disheveled as if he had run his hand through it one too many times.

"What is this?" Gibbs tore him out of his inner monologue again, holding up the piece of paper that Tony had left on his kitchen table earlier that morning.

"A post-it," Tony replied without thinking and already bowed his head, expecting the head slap that never came.

"I meant in a larger sense, Tony."

The younger man dared to look at him again, slightly startled by the lack of anger in the other man's voice, slightly surprised by the strangely strangled tone.

Without a word, he stepped aside as he let Gibbs in, gesturing towards the couch where he flopped down, with Tony next to him doing the same. Though, granted, that probably wasn't the wisest choice as he was in perfect head slap distance now but he needed something to go on now and the fact that Gibbs wasn't shying away from the close proximity was a pretty good sign after all.

"What is this?" Gibbs repeated his earlier question.

"The truth," Tony replied slowly, internally bracing himself for whatever might lie ahead now.

"The truth is that you lied?" Gibbs prodded, the post-it still in his hands as he stared at it.

"Yeah."

"What about? All of this?"

"No," Tony dragged out the word, talking himself into telling the man the truth and not to chicken out again. "Just the last part of it was."

"The last part?"

"Yeah."

He rubbed his hand over his face. So, this was going to be one of those talks with Gibbs. The painfully stretched out ones, where you could see no end to them at all and Tony knew that he deserved one, too. Plus, he had no clue how to shorten this particular one anyhow. He still wasn't sure how the other man would react to the truth after all…

"And that would be?"

"The wanting-to-have-some-fun part."

"So, you don't want to have fun?" Gibbs asked, his eyes still on that goddamn paper so that Tony wasn't able to read his expression, which he almost desperately wanted to because Gibbs' voice didn't give away anything.

"No… I mean, yeah, I do. But…"

God, why was this so hard to say? Just a few simple words. How hard could it possibly be? Really?

"But?"

And Gibbs didn't exactly make it easier, did he now?

"Fun was not the reason per se. Listen Gibbs, I'm sorry about earlier. I was completely out of line and I didn't mean to… lie to you. I simply lost my nerves. I couldn't tell you because that was so not like I ever imagined telling you – well, I hadn't exactly planned on telling you ever, that is. So… I'm sorry."

"Okay," Gibbs slowly replied and finally turned to look at him, his blue eyes locking into Tony's green ones. "So why don't you try telling me anyhow?"

"It's not that simple."

"Make it simple. How much worse can it possibly be?"

Oh, you've got no idea.

"You sure, you want to know?"

"Spit it out, Tony. The sooner you start…"

"Well, you already know the facts, right? I mean… I didn't mean for this to happen and I don't even have a clue how that – all of that – could have happened. But there's this… attraction towards you and I simply can't get you out of my head. Believe me… I tried but nothing seems to work, so here we are now."

"Okay," Gibbs simply said, not offering anything for Tony to go on.

Why did he have to make it so hard? A simple 'shut up' would be sufficient but there was just… nothing and it slowly drove Tony crazy.

"Okay? That's all you're going to say?"

Gibbs remained silent for a few moments. He tilted his head ever so slightly and those blue eyes bored into Tony's again and for a split of a second the younger man was sure that the guy's ears had turned pink again. And this time it sure as hell was no figment of his imagination. This time it was real.

"What am I supposed to say, Tony? You haven't even told me anything, yet."

"I need to spell it out for you, don't I?"

Gibbs just nodded, his eyes not once leaving Tony's, which in return made him slightly restless again. But this was it. This was the moment that would put an end to his vivid imagination…

"I'm," Tony started over. "Kind of… well, you know. I think I'm in love with you."

Bam!

There, he had said it. And strangely enough, it hadn't been all that bad considering. Granted, his heart was acting like it was about to rip apart his chest, his hands had started to sweat and his pulse was loud in his ears again but despite all of that, he felt strangely elated and he didn't even know why. Because it surely couldn't be due to Gibbs' reaction because, well, there wasn't any – literally. The guy was still staring at him unblinking and Tony wasn't even sure whether or not he was still breathing. He had expected him to slap him, had expected to run out of him, had expected anything but this. Not the stoically silent Gibbs because that was the kind of Gibbs that Tony had never been able to handle very well.

"You're going to continue staring at me now or are you planning to say something soon-ish? Because seriously, Gibbs, I don't think I can stand the silence right now, so before I do or say something stupid, just… say something?"

"Tony," Gibbs finally replied and eventually averted his gaze to stare at his hands again. "I don't know what to say actually."

"I think I get that," Tony replied slowly before his mouth decided to run amok again as he rambled on. "I don't expect you to do anything, really. I mean, I needed weeks to finally stop denying this… thing. And I also know it's a lot to take in for you now. I totally get that. Crystal clear. And yes, I know you're not interested. I mean why would you? You're straight, clearly, and I don't think you ever looked at me twice before or at any other guy for that matter. I totally get that. I just… well, the painkillers and stuff… but I think I would have told you anyway because this is eating me up from inside and you know me, I've never been good at shutting up. And I totally get that you're mad at me now."

"I'm not mad," Gibbs interrupted his flow of words as he held up one hand.

"You're not?"

"I was this morning. Why did you lie, Tony?"

Tony stared at him for a long moment before he answered, this time choosing his words carefully as he had the distinctive feeling that it was indeed very important for Gibbs to understand Tony's actions – for whatever reasons.

"I freaked out. I didn't think that I was ready to face the consequences of my actions… and feelings, too, I guess."

"And how does the 'get your rocks off' fit in there?"

"Listen," Tony sighed. "It doesn't. Like I said, I freaked and wasn't particularly thinking clearly. That's all I've got to say in my defense. I was stupid. I thought by lying to you, you wouldn't see through me for once, wouldn't see what I really needed to tell you."

"What made you decide to write this, then?" Gibbs prodded, holding up the piece of paper again.

"I don't know," Tony shrugged. "I guess I hadn't expected you to just walk out on me. I had expected you to yell at me, head slap me or even fire me but you were… too calm or something. I don't know."

"Okay."

"Okay? You have to give me something here. What does 'okay' mean?"

"It means okay," Gibbs replied and Tony didn't get why he was still so calm about this. "It means that I get it. You freaked, you lied and now you told me the truth. So, it's okay."

Tony stared at him, not quite sure if hitting him would help to get the guy back on track. Back on Gibbs-track. Why in the world was he so calm, so understanding and why in the world was he still sitting there, right next to him and still looking at him with searching eyes? And most importantly, why were his freaking ears still red and why had that blush suddenly spread out onto his cheeks, too? Tony felt his heart pick up pace again as that insipid tiny little voice in the back of his mind started to nudge him once again that maybe there was that little off chance that Gibbs… But no, that wasn't possible, was it?

"So, you're not gonna fire me, then?" Tony asked now, basically just to fill that damn silence again.

"Why would I?" Gibbs replied, seemingly actually taken aback by the question. "I don't fire my best agent just because of something like this."

"So what is it, then?" Tony prodded, by now unable to think straight.

"I don't know."

"You don't know?"

What was the guy playing at? Couldn't he just tell him that he wasn't interested? Couldn't he just pull Tony out of this misery by telling him to fuck off? Why did he react that way? Why?

"Well, it's kind of a lot to process right now."

Huh.

Okay, well, he had a point there, probably. Didn't mean it was any easier for Tony to just sit there and wait for a reaction – any kind of reaction, really. He'd take anything right now.

"I get that," he finally replied. "Hell, I needed weeks to process all of that."

That actually elicited a snort from Gibbs that sounded suspiciously like a laugh and that was all that was needed for Tony to snap out of his strange headspace.

"Gibbs, listen. You don't have to say anything. I'm done with… pushing for answers. That doesn't mean I don't want them, even though I think I know the answer to that one and that's okay, too, really. I just hope that this doesn't affect our relationship. I know that's an awful lot to ask but I never meant to destroy anything."

"It's okay. I know, Tony."

"Okay, thanks," Tony replied and for the first time in what felt like forever, he felt a real smile tug at the corners of his mouth.

"I just… I think I need," Gibbs continued and he seemed oddly reluctant all of a sudden. "I'll need more time to give you an answer that is sufficient. I…"

"That's okay," Tony hurried to say, realizing the longer Gibbs needed to think about it, the better the outcome might be for him after all.

"Okay, then. I think I'm going to go now. You rest and take care of your arm, okay? I'll check in as soon as I can."

"Okay," Tony replied, giving him another smile, which Gibbs returned with a barely visible nod of his head before he left the apartment, leaving a slightly flabbergasted Tony behind.

A/N: Was that okay? xD Would love to hear your thoughts about this one! :)