Pit-Trap: I do not own these characters, TF2, etc.

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J is for joke.

Heavy sat in the living room, on the couch, reading a book. His eyes had been glued to the book for the past hour or so, but now, when he suddenly heard rapid footsteps, he glanced up. Demoman suddenly ran through the living room, right past Heavy, before jetting away to the kitchen.

"It was only a joke, Sol," Demoman was screaming. "A bloody joke!"

Heavy blinked.

Not a second later, Soldier ran through the living room, ignoring Heavy, before going right for the kitchen. "C'mere, you unworthy cyclops!" he was screeching.

After a moment or two, the footsteps and screaming faded away.

Heavy blinked. Then he went back to his book.

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J is for juggle.

Pyro was calmly standing in the middle of the kitchen. He wasn't eating or drinking anything, nor was he about to start doing either of those things anytime soon. Pyro was juggling. He was juggling a cup, a can on Scout's Bonk!, and a bowl right in the middle of the kitchen. It was a special talent he had.

Demoman thought otherwise as he walked into the kitchen. "Pyro can juggle?" he asked Engineer, who was sitting at the table.

"Sure can," Engineer answered, not looking up from the paper he was reading. "He's pretty darn good at it, too. Been jugglin' like that fer five whole minutes now."

"Mm-hmm!"

Demoman stared at Pyro for a moment before saying, "And here I though ye couldn't get any weirder."

Pyro paused his juggling, catching the items. He then promptly threw the can of Bonk! at Demoman.

"Argh! Me good eye!"

"He's got a pretty darn good throwin' arm, too," Engineer said, eyes still not leaving the paper.

"Mmm-hmm."

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J is for Jarate.

Sniper didn't understand his teammates sometimes. They were just so stupid. Now, don't get him wrong. He knew his fellow BLU were all great mercenaries and great at kicking RED ass. But there many moments he just had to stop and stare, wondering how much stupider they could get. Take the other day for example: Sniper was at the Teufort battlements, sniping as usual. He had just put a hole between the RED Sniper's eyes when he heard a pained yell.

"Fire, fire, fire!" Scout screeched, jumping away from the RED Pyro. The two were fighting right at the entrance to the BLU base.

"Mphfer fupherr!" the RED Pyro cursed as Scout jumped out of range of his axe.

Left arm on fire, Scout took aim with his gun and fired a few shots. After three shots, the RED Pyro fell to the ground, good and dead. But Scout's arm was still on fire.

Sniper, upon noticing Scout's arm was aflame, shouted down to Scout, "Don't worry, Poppy! I gotcha covered!" He pulled out a jar of his Jarate and pulled his arm back, about to launch the jar so it could put out the flames burning Scout.

Scout caught sight of Sniper. "Augh!" He screeched again and turned away for the sewer waters. He jumped in without hesitation.

Sniper gaped in disbelief. Lowering his Jarate, his gape turned into a frown. Why had Scout done that? He had his Jarate ready!

Scout's head popped above the water's surface moments later.

"Scout!" Sniper called down to him. "Why'd ya move? I had ya covered!" he shook his jar of Jarate for emphasis.

"Uh," Scout stuttered a bit as he called back. "T-that's alright, Snipes! I had it covered! Thanks anyways, though! Gonna go… find the doc now! See ya!" And with that, Scout swam to the sewers.

Sniper thought that was odd. But then again, maybe Scout was just being arrogant and trying to seem like he didn't need his help or something. But then there was that time with Heavy.

Sniper was again sniping up in the battlements. He didn't even notice Heavy until he heard him screaming.

"Fire, fire, fire!" Heavy shouted, running out of their base, covered in flames.

Sniper was prepared. "Heavy! Up here!" He held his Jarate up, about to throw it.

"No!" Heavy shouted again, holding his hands up. "Is not needed, Sniper!" he fumbled around before pulling out his Sandvich. "Will eat Sandvich and find doktor!" Heavy ran out of sight once more, faster than Sniper had ever seen him run.

Sniper was again confused. Using his Jarate would be so much faster, though! He tried not to think about those instances, but then the whole thing with Spy happened.

Sniper was headed for the sewers, Huntsman equipped. He was almost at the entrance when Spy ran back into the base via said entrance. He was in flames.

"I do believe I'm on fire!" Spy declared rather obviously.

The RED Pyro was behind him, flamethrower spewing flames.

One quick arrow to the head to care of the RED Pyro. And Sniper knew what would take care of the soon-to-be-cooked Spy.

As Sniper pulled out his Jarate, Spy stared yelling, "Non, non, non, non!" He danced away from Sniper.

"Hold still, spook!" Sniper yelled back. He didn't want to miss and waste his Jarate.

"Non, je- Pyro!" Spy interrupted himself when he caught sight of Pyro leaving the courtyard. He ran over to the fellow BLU. "Put me out! Put me out!" Spy all but demanded.

Pyro sighed. Flamethrower aimed at Spy, he let loose an air blast. The flames across Spy's body disappeared in the great rush of air.

Spy sighed in relief. "Ah, much appreciated, Pyro," he said, checking himself over.

"Mmm-hmm," Pyro nodded before walking away, off to do whatever he was about to do.

Sniper stared. "What the hell?" he managed to say after a moment.

"Something zhe matter, bushman?"

"No, somethin's the matter with the lot of you," Sniper snapped back. "Every bloody time one-a you is on fire 'n' I have my Jarate out 'n' ready, you all run away! Wot's the problem? I'm jus' tryin' to help putcha out!"

Spy's lip curled in disgust. "You think we want to be put out by your filthy body fluids?"

"I'm jus' tryin' to help!"

"'ere's 'ow you can 'elp, Sniper," Spy said. "Don't use your Jarate."

Sniper thought about what Spy said, but still didn't really get it. It didn't make any sense! When his teammates were on fire, they should want to be put out! Many times they were covered in flames and they still almost always refused the help of his Jarate. To Sniper, his teammates were being ridiculous. What was the problem with using his Jarate?

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J is for jealous.

"Hello, Heavy," Medic walked up to his fellow BLU. "How did you fair in today's fight?"

Heavy grumbled something Medic couldn't understand.

"Pardon?"

"Maybe you would know if you had followed me!" Heavy snapped.

Medic jumped at the volume of his voice. Heavy sounded… irritated, upset, and annoyed all in one. "Vhat?"

Heavy went on. "Instead of following Soldier all day…"

Medic blinked. Medic had followed Soldier around a lot today. The RED Engineer was glued to his sentry nearly the entire match and the BLUs repeatedly needed some rocket power to take care of the bothersome sentry. Medic realized he hadn't spent very much time with Heavy, like he usually did. And now Heavy sounded… jealous about that? "Heavy," Medic said slowly. "Are you jealous I spent more time healing Soldier instead of you today?"

"Nyet!" Heavy crossed his arms and looked away from the German. "Am not jealous! I just do not like it when you heal him more than me!"

That sounded like a definite yes.

"Heavy! I have to heal zhe others, too!" Oh, Heavy and his jealousy sometimes…

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A/N: J, you were annoying to do. Glad I'm done with you. But even more snow days certainly helped me finish you.