Oh, well.
I'm discontinuing this story.
You reviewers have all been so awesome and supportive, but I've lost all my inspiration, motivation, and, most of all, my time. Being homeschooled, school doesn't really stop during the summer. I'm taking an online class that requires up to five hours of work every day, on top of my other subjects.
It might continue in the future, and I'm leaving it up for others to read, but let's just say it's going on a hiatus that could possibly be permanent.