Chapter 10

What Is Affection?

Kaye and Hux spend some time alone and show each other a hidden part of their personalities.

The meeting between Hux and Ren would last about an hour, Hux had figured. After I was dismissed, I went back to my quarters to take a long, hot shower. The scalding water made the dirt and grime from the moon slough off my skin. I hadn't forgotten about the plans Hux and I had made for when we got back here. I wasn't sure what he liked to see on a naked woman. I took my razor, shaving every bit of hair which wasn't on my head, hoping he preferred that. It was just sex, something carnal and primal, not making love, but I didn't want to disappoint.

After drying off and dawning the cleanest clothes I had (the blue Jedi robes I had worn when Hux and I first met), I pondered what to do next. He'll figure out I'm in here, but wouldn't he want to have sex in his own bed? We'd made an agreement to not enter each other's quarters uninvited, but I couldn't help but feel he'd like the surprise of seeing me. Perhaps lying in his bed. I grinned at the thought.

I decided I would enter his chambers without permission again. He'd said he liked being dominated. Would a dominatrix follow orders? I broke the code to his doors easily and enter, making the short walk from the entrance (his living room/office) to the adjacent room: his bedroom.

The bedroom was immaculate. Everything from the walls to the bedsheets was black. There was a nightstand that was on the right side of the bed if one were lying in it, suggesting that's where he chose to sleep. I took off my form-fitting black boots and lied horizontally on the bed, waiting. It had been forty-five minutes. Surely he wouldn't be much longer.

Finally, I heard the whoosh of the automatic doors open. My heart started beating faster and I was practically giddy with excitement. I struck a pose lying on his bed. Not too dramatic, but ready for him.

But then Hux let out a deep sigh, so loud I could hear it from the other room. I sensed his emotions; he was frustrated and suffering, as if in pain. Is he hurt? How? Why?

I climbed off the bed and snuck towards the living room. I was an intruder. I wasn't supposed to be a witness to this. I wasn't going to hide. He was suffering. I needed to help him. Why do you need to help him? A conversation started in my head. He's my partner in this. I have to see to his well-being. That's all.

I let half my body into the living room. Hux's left eye was red. His lip was busted open. He appeared to be cursing under his breath.

And then he saw me.

"I-I'm sorry," I said sincerely.

"What are you doing in here?!" Hux exclaimed, his voice sounding as if he'd been tortured.

I was reduced to babbling. "I'm sorry! I thought we were going to…you know, and that you finding me in your bed would be a turn on."

"Get out!" he yelled. With heavy steps, he bolted past me, entering the bedroom and then the refresher inside it, slamming its door shut.

I felt a pang in my heart as if someone had stabbed me in the chest. I walked to the door of refresher. "No."

Hux flung open the refresher door. "What did you say?"

"Hux, you have a black eye and a busted lip. I'm not leaving until I find out what happened."

He loomed down on me, trying to use our height difference to scare me. I stood firm, staring him in the face.

"Why is that any of your business?"

"Because you're my partner, and partners look out for each other." My heart was telling me it was more than that. Seeing how he could barely keep his eye open and how swelled his bottom lip had become was almost unbearable.

Hux's posture returned to normal. He trudged over to his bed and sat down on the edge, slouching.

"It was Ren, who else? We had a little spat."

"'Little spat?'"

"I've come away looking worse. Hell, he once almost burned me with his lightsaber." He sighed again, putting his head in his hands. "I should not have to put up with this nonsense."

I walked carefully to Hux's bed and sat down beside him. "Here." I lifted up his head by his chin, and then placed two fingers on his lip.

"Ack!" he said involuntarily.

"Just hold still." I focused on the cut, pouring a little of my power into it. I reached out through the Force, but only a slightly, in case Ben was still on board.

I gently removed my fingers. Hux stared at me and carefully touched his lip. Realizing the wound was gone, he gasped. I proceeded to do the same with his black eye. I was supposed to focus on meditation while healing, but part of me started to get lost in the warmth of his skin beneath my fingers. Our faces were so close. No kissing, but intimate.

"Ah." This time he was feeling relief. The warm air that escaped his lips made me want to kiss them.

I leaned in even closer, touching my forehead against his as I caressed his ginger hair. "Better?"

He opened his beautiful blue eyes. "Much." He paused. "Is this what you did in the cave?"

"On a smaller scale, but yes."

"We-" his eyes looked away. "We won't be having those nightmares again, will we?"

He means the visions. I cupped his cheek with my hand. "I don't know, but I don't think so. It took a lot more to heal you on the moon."

"I hope they don't." He sounded so vulnerable.

"Me, too." I kissed him on the cheek.

Hux pulled away a little. "What is this?"

"What is what?"

"Kissing my cheek. Running your fingers through my hair. We have had trouble keeping our hands off one another, yet here, right now, you aren't acting as if you want sex. What is it that you're doing?"

I felt puzzled. "Showing affection."

"Oh." This looked completely new to him. Then I realized: it was completely new to him. No mother, an abusive father. He had never had someone show him any affection.

I tried to explain. "It's not about sex. When I would get hurt or upset as a child, Martin would hold me or ruffle my hair. That's how he would make me feel better."

Hux nodded. We looked into each other's eyes. Then he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me in close.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

"Isn't this showing affection?" he asked innocently.

I smiled, though he couldn't see. "Yes, Hux. Yes, it is."

"No 'Hux.'" He insisted.

"Huh?"

"You were right, Kaye. Back in the cave. We are on a first-name basis." He stroked my back.

"So…what is your first name?"

The stroking stopped. "I never told you?"

I laughed. "No. For all I knew, your first name was General and your last name was Hux."

He caught a little of my laughter, then stopped. "Armitage. My first name is Armitage." There was a smile in his voice.

"Armitage." I pondered on the name. "Sounds…regal. Do you have a nickname?"

"No. What kind of nickname could one get from 'Armitage?'"

"Hmm…how about Armie?"

"'Armie?'" He chuckled.

"Yeah! Armie." I started giggling with him. "Armie with...the...army!" We were both laughing. I pulled away from him a little so I could see his face. It was the first time I saw him smile. He seemed to light up the whole room with it. His lips had parted to show gleaming white teeth, and there were tiny crinkles by his eyes. His cheeks were almost as red as his hair.

"How about you call me Armie in private, and Armitage in public? That is, if you ever go out without your Stormtrooper uniform."

"After we're done with Ben, I will…Armie."

I sealed my promise with a kiss. The kiss became deeper, Armitage pressing his lips hungrily against mine. I responded in kind. Soon we were biting, licking, clawing at each other's clothing.

It was becoming much more than affection.