As we walked back, arm in arm for support, because between us we had seventeen drinks over maybe three hours, and neither of us could look straight, much less walk it. His hair was navy blue, Ravenclaw blue, from me charming it on the dance floor when I realized someone might recognize us.

Once back in the safety of the common room, Malfoy asked, "Do you like girls, Red?"

I looked up at him through half-hooded eyes. Shaking my head slowly, I said, "Not really, I just wanted a kiss."

"I was there." He looked a little put out. This jealous bastard.

"Everyone would've seen." I said, trying not to look at him, in case I laughed a little about him being jealous. It just seemed rather ridiculous, because I spent most nights in his arms, that he would be worried about me wanting to kiss a girl.

Particularly Allie, she snogged everyone.

"We snogged on the dance floor." He reminded me, starting to move around the kitchen, pulling out ingredients.

"Everyone was snogging on the dance floor. And I charmed your hair blue."

He hadn't noticed. He raised his hand up to his hair, but it was a little too short for him to see it.

"Do I look like Teddy?"

"Ew, no, your hair is darker. Besides, you're prettier. Almost like a girl, I'd say." I laughed, "And you know, I am fond of snogging girls when I'm drunk."

He rolled his eyes and picked me up easily. "Sit on the counter and I'll make pancakes, alright?" He placed me in my spot, then turned to grab ingredients and bowls. I looked at his butt while he was making pancakes, admiring it a little. His school trousers didn't do it justice, but he looked damn good in sweatpants. Or pants. Or nothing.

I blurted out "Would you ever want to wear a muzzle?"

"Is this like a sex thing, or…" He narrowed his eyes at me.

I rolled my eyes, and said, as nonchalantly as a very buzzed girl could, "No, I just will need a roommate next year and you cook but I don't want to get thrown out for starting duels."

"And how would a muzzle help?" He asked, quirking his eyebrow as he mixed the batter.

"I won't start any duels if you don't talk, clearly."

He leaned in, and I could smell him all around me. Fuck, that smell. It was vanilla, since he always put a little in pancakes and waffles even when the recipe didn't call for it. "What about other things my mouth does?"

"I can invest in a vibrator." I wouldn't, but I always had that card to play.

He sounded almost desperate when he spoke. "Please don't." He closed the gap between our lips, and pressed the softest kiss I've ever felt against my lips.

It was annoyingly cute and a tiny bit sexy.

…

On the way to breakfast Monday morning, Malfoy asked, "Are you sure no one noticed?"

"No, but I'll turn it green for Slytherin and leave it like that until after the next match if you keep bitching about whether or not someone saw it."

"You're a cunt."

"You're a cunt." I repeated back to him.

"You are what you eat." He whispered into my ear. I didn't realize he was that close, but fuck if I wasn't horny after that. The only problem is, now I'm turned on and have to go sit with Gen and probably explain the whole shagging thing.

She might murder me.

…

Turns out, Gen wasn't the one who was nosy today. When I sat down, she said "Did 'e get you off?" I said "yup." She followed up with "Were you safe?" and I repeated my "yup." We would've just enjoyed our breakfast over some gossip about Hugo being a bit of a trollop and trying to flirt with Vane all evening, but Albus interrupted.

"Since when are you getting laid? And how could you not tell us, we're your best friends." Quick, a lie. I could see Malfoy's nose scrunching a little, trying to come up with some sort of cover, or pretend to be it. The easiest way to go was to make up a completely unverifiable story that was rather close to the truth. Really, a spin on it, if you will.

"Boy from Cokeworth over the summer." Not precisely a lie, let's keep with it. "It was a one-off, more that I wanted to try it with someone who wouldn't blab because my parents are famous, you know?"

Albus sighed a little, he knew what I was talking about. In third year he kissed- not even snogged- Allie Longbottom in Hogsmeade and somehow a picture of him ended up in Witch Weekly proclaiming he had gotten said girl pregnant and that they were both likely on drugs.

The reporter who wrote that somehow disappeared, and Uncle Harry and dad always collapsed into giggles when mum says she "buggered off", which I assume is code for 'my mum did something to her but we need plausible deniability'.

"Why didn't we hear about this guy, if you were dating him? I saw you almost every day this summer!"

"So presumptuous, I wasn't dating him you tit." I glared a little, continuing, "He complimented my arse so I fucked him. It wasn't all that complicated."

"Wow, Ro, didn't know you were so cavalier about sex." Gen chimed in. "Am I starting to rub off on you?"

"You'd like that, wouldn't you, you little minx." I winked, then turned to Al, "By the way, Allie says to stop checking her out."

"I wasn't checking her out." He pouted, "I was just looking at the bar where she happened to be."

"Aren't you in love Turner?" I questioned, "You've been together since fifth fucking year."

"Yeah, I guess, it's just…" He blushed a little, "She's Allie."

Malfoy nodded his head. It wasn't just that Allie was beautiful, she really was. It was that Albus had been head over heels for her since we were about four years old and she smashed a piece of pie in her face.

Every other girl, no matter how much he liked them, were never going to live up to that standard. But there was no way Allie was going to go for Al, she had made that abundantly clear in third year after their one kiss, when she hexed him and called him a traitorous bastard after that story had come out.

…

Later that evening, once we had finished all of our obscene amount of homework, Malfoy did the unthinkable.

He asked "Want to go to the Yule Ball?"

At the time, I was drinking some really, really delicious cocoa he had made, topped with magic marshmallows that kept replenishing themselves. I almost spit it out.

"We have to, we're Heads." I pointed out, rolling my eyes.

"No, I meant together." He looked at me from across the counter, his face completely blank. I had no idea if he was teasing me about what was going on, but I certainly didn't want to find out if he was.

"Yeah, we're Heads, we go together to the ball. I think we have to dance the first dance together or something." I looked into my cocoa before continuing, "Then you can go off and dance with anyone you like. I hear one of the Patils fancies you, but I can't remember which one."

He tugged my arm, trying to get me to look up, as he said "I'm serious, Red."

I stared back, trying to mimic his inscrutable expression, "So am I, Blondie."

"So come as my date." He smiled, a gorgeous smile, "My honest to Merlin's-saggy-ballsack date."

I rolled my eyes before leaning into him, "You have such a way with words."

…

A week until the Yule Ball, which was now held every year, the Friday night before Christmas holidays, Malfoy and I were in the common room. He was in his pants, and I was in knickers and a stolen Tottenham jersey that Blondie bought online, customized to say 'Malfoy' on the back. It was pushed to the back, so I figured it would be alright for me to steal. I knew for a fact he wasn't a real fan anyway.

Handing me tea, he asked, rather nonchalantly, "What color will your dress be for the ball?"

I gave him a raised eyebrow. "Why the fuck do you want to know?"

"So I can get a tie to match." You fucker. I won't be wooed!

"Why?"

"You're my date." I stared at him blankly as a smirk grew on his face. "Well, you didn't say 'no' when I asked, I think you just snogged me instead. And I've refused every other girl that's asked me. So now you're my date!"

I rolled my eyes, "I cannot believe this. Why weren't you in Slytherin?'

"Is that a compliment?"

"I'm a self-deprecating arsehole, I don't think saying you should've been in my house is a good thing." I pointed out, half snorting as I said it.

He gave a sinful smile and responded, "Yeah but if you wanted me in Slytherin you're basically admitting that you've fancied me forever and you wish you could've seen me in the common room in my pants."

Unimpressed by his line of logic, I announced, "You are in the common room in your pants."

"I meant when we were younguns."

"Do you like the idea of an eleven year old looking at your pants, Malfoy?"

He made a face, then reasoned, "Well, if I were eleven, too, then I would."

I went back to his original question, taking the high road because I knew we would get caught up in a weird circle of questions this way. "My dress is silver."

"Because it matches my eyes?" Who does he think he is, Romeo? I'm not going to put that much effort into anything, much less my friendly-enemy-with-benefits.

I poked him in the chest accusatorially, "You're a bloody romantic, and no, I just like how silver stands out against my skin."

"Is that why you like my skin against yours?" He taunted, pointing out how pale his skin is. Almost silver.

"I like your skin against mine because it usually means you'll shut up for a minute."

"No but when you think I'm asleep I see you looking at us all over each other and then you smile a little. Is it because you like contrast?"

"I hadn't really thought of it, I think that might be it." I let an evil smile spread across my face. "Either that or how easy it would be to smear my skin with poison, take an antidote, then shag you and kill you with my poison shagging."

I watched him pause for a moment, wondering if I really thought that (only once did I ever consider it, and then it wouldn't be like bad poison, it would've just gotten him a little sick), then I continued, "Poison shagging would be a good band name." He chuckled a little.

"Most things you say would make great band names. Someone should hire an agent to write them all down." He said, and I nodded slightly, pulling him into a kiss.