Thanks again for all your support. That's what is motivating me to keep on writing this

I had a really shit day so just to warn you this chapter may reflect it a bit.

Sexpistols – I hope your exam went well, though. Wouldn't want it to be my fault if not :D

It's Emily's point of view and as most of you seem to be on Naomi's side I hope you'll understand Ems a bit better after this ;)

Chapter 10: Emily's POV

Days flew by and it seemed that Naomi had decided to not speak to me outside of class. I had tried everything: I had apologized (not only once), I had explained it to her, I had told her I now wanted to be more than friends. But it didn't change anything for her, or so she had told me. I still couldn't believe how stupid I had been, I should have listened to Effy. She had been right – she always was, but nooo silly Emily had to be stubborn and go through with her bloody "plan". I think it's true what people say about just realising what you had (or in my case could have had) when you lost it. Yeah I had lost her and it was absolutely my fucking fault. Naomi had been nothing but lovely to me; she had made me laugh like nobody else before her, I could talk to her about everything and anything without feeling uncomfortable, we could spent days together without getting on each other's nerves, we could remain silent and just enjoy the other's presence. Never had I felt so connected with somebody, so understood by somebody, but no I had to go and ruin it by hurting the only person who wouldn't ever do anything to upset me. Bit masochistic, are we? Yeah this was the worst of all I couldn't bring the voice in the back of my mind to shut the fuck up, always reminding me of my mistake, always making me feel so fucking guilty. Guilt – that was a feeling I had become used to, it was there all the time, never fading, never disappearing. Every time I looked at my gorgeous blonde - She's not yours Emily and now she never will be.

"SUTH UP! JUST LEAVE ME ALIONE!", I screamed throwing the essay I was currently reading (okay, okay I had been trying to read) onto the floor. Tears sprang to my eyes and I did nothing to stop them from falling, there was no point; I deserved this.

Suddenly the door swung open revealing a fuming Katie.

"What the fuck Emsy?" Upon seeing the state I was in her features immediately softened and she stepped inside my room. Turing away from her I tried to hide my make-up stained cheeks, I hadn't had the nerve to clean myself up. Woah, I must look like shit if she's pulling her "concerned face".

"It's nothing Katie, just knocked something over accidentally. You can go and resume shoving your tongue down – what's his name? Ralph? Whatever go back to him."

"He's not here Emsy, I thought we could have a girly day. Watching one of those romantic comedies you love so much, eating pizza, drinking and smoking a shit load of weed." She smiled at me.

"Are you being serious? Careful there, you nearly sound concerned." I spat at her.

Her eyes widened in shock. "I am concerned, bitch. You're still my baby sister and I can see there's something wrong Emsy. You haven't eaten in days now and don't think I can't hear you crying yourself to sleep every night. Ah, and you look like shit. So what's the matter?"

"Well thanks Katie always one for compliments, aren't you?"

"And the bitchiness, forgot about that. Ems, that's so out of character for you, it really doesn't suite you."

I just groaned in response, now really wasn't the right time for Katie to remember she actually had a sister; I just wanted to be alone. Hoping she would leave I walked back to my bed, slumping down on it. Ah, no such luck there.

Katie just sat down beside me and almost immediately I was enveloped in a big Fitch-hug. At first I tried to fight it, but I had to admit it felt good, being held by somebody. It felt like finally there was a force holding me together again.

"Shhh Ems, everything will be alright", she said kissing my hair and rubbing calming circles on my back. It seemed like I had started to cry once again. Wow I didn't even notice it. Suppose I'm getting used to the feeling. I now was full on sobbing into Katie's shoulder, her blouse would definitely be ruined after this, but surprisingly she didn't seem to care.

"It's okay Ems. Just lie down and I'll make you a cup of tea." She went to stand up, but I held her back.

"Please, just – just stay here…with me." My voice sounded so weak I didn't even recognize it anymore.

She bent down stroked my hair and planted a kiss on my forehead.

"Okay, I'll stay then. Scoot over." I did and we just lay there when I slowly drifted into a dreamless, exhausted sleep.

XXX

Squinting I woke up. Feeling the warmth of another body beside me I turned my head and was met with a deeply sleeping Katie, mouth slightly agape she let out quiet snores. I smiled, I knew she could be a real bitch when she wanted to but what she'd done for me yesterday was just amazing. I couldn't remember when we had last slept in one bed, but it was good to know that she was still there for me if I needed her. Just like when we had been kids, every time I was afraid of the dark or the monster, I was convinced lived under my bed, I would creep into her bed and snuggled into her. I definitely had to thank her and supposing the best way to do just that was to make her breakfast and then spend a whole day shopping together, I started with the easier out of those two.

Rummaging around in the kitchen my stomach grumbled rather loudly. Patting it slightly I smiled to myself. Looks like I could do with some food too. Katie had been right when she had said I hadn't properly eaten in days; I just didn't feel up to it. Well that seemed to have changed. Admittedly I really felt way better than yesterday (and the days before). Maybe that was all I needed, to know that there was still somebody who loved me, somebody who hadn't rejected me.

Putting on the kettle I made a decision: I'd stop moping and start fighting. Just like Naomi had told me she would. Now it was my turn to show her just how much she meant to me. Starting today.

XXX

I had decided to play her game and send her a quote in return. I knew this wouldn't be enough, of course not, but it was a beginning.

"In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you."

That was the original, but after thinking it over I changed it slightly. I didn't know if what I was feeling could be called love, not yet anyway. Even if it was, I wanted to tell her myself when the time was right, I wanted to be able to look her into the eyes and see her reaction. So that's what I made of it:

"In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire you."

Smiling I put it in an envelope and kissed it. I'll win her trust back step by step even if it costs me ages.

So…thoughts, wishes, complaints, anything? :D