In the last chapter, Bella met up with a new character, Dr. Conner McCarthy, who is a vampire that is helping her get to the Denali coven. They are almost there when Bella shrieks for him to turn the car around, because, NA-NAAA, the Cullens are there. Conner leaves Bella in the nice warm car while he runs to the Denali house to do some reconnaissance work for Bella. He was instructed not to think of her, so he isn't, but there's this little thing called the vampires' heightened sense of smell, and Edward smells Bella all over the new visitor. Rut-ro, Reorge. Read on to find out what Edward does, and whether or not the Cullens find out that Bella is not dead. Oh yeah, and we hear from the evil villainess Victoria in this chapter, too :)
10 ~ Keeping the Blade
"general sinister instrumental music"
Keeping the Blade by Coheed and Cambria
Sunday, October 2 to Tuesday, October 4
Victoria's POV
Stupid, vile human. She was so weak, so vulnerable, so unworthy of the attention James had given her. I obviously hadn't been enough to satiate his desires, so he felt the need to go after her even though he must have known it would cost him his life. He could not have honestly thought he would be able to kill someone the family of vampires had so staunchly protected and escape with his life. Why hadn't he thought about me? I had devoted myself to him for years, but it was never enough. Even in his poor decision, I had supported him, helped him. I was always there for him and he had never been there for me. I was angry with what he had done, and yet I loved him. Because of that, I couldn't bring myself to hate him. Instead, I hated her. I hated her for being alive when he was not. She was a nothing, a despicable little creature that did not deserve to stay alive. And she had managed to bring about his destruction and royally mess up my existence.
I planned to make sure she didn't survive for much longer. It was so convenient that they had left her, utterly defenseless, practically begging me to end her life. Without the possibility of a fight with my own kind to get to the human, it was going to be much too easy; I was actually afraid I might not delight in killing her as much as I had hoped. And I certainly deserved to delight in it. I would make her suffer, of course; her physical pain would outweigh my emotional struggles by far, but it would still be much too simple. It was of no consequence, regardless. Her death was merely the means to an end, the settling of a score. A mate for a mate.
Yes, I hated her, but I mostly wanted her to suffer because it would intensify his suffering to know her death had not been easy. And he is who I truly wanted to suffer. Because if it hadn't been for him, James would still be here. If he hadn't brought a human into our world, we would have played a game of baseball and then been hundreds of miles away from here. If he hadn't placed a human's life above the life of one of his own kind, his family wouldn't have killed James. The girl's death would be a pleasure, sure, but Edward's pain would be pure bliss.
Up until now, that had been the plan. It wasn't quite as simple as I had imagined due to the presence of those annoying wolves, but I was so close to attaining my goal it was almost laughable. And then that stupid girl had to go and kill herself. At least, that had been the talk about town—that she had leapt from a cliff because of a shattered heart and a broken mind. But something about the circumstances of her death was a little off. I wasn't quite sure why, but I wasn't thoroughly convinced that she was dead.
At first, I thought I was just pissed that I hadn't gotten to her first, but I knew that wasn't completely it. There was something else, something I couldn't quite put my finger on. And I knew the hunt was on. I needed to find her and make sure that I made the lie that everyone believed into an unquestionable reality. The only problem was that I had no idea where to start looking. I was smart enough to know that I was going to need some help, and since James was gone, that left me with only one other option at the moment: Laurent.
The last I knew, he had gone to Alaska to try out the vegetarian lifestyle. I cringed. It was absolutely repulsive, the idea of drinking blood from something other than a human. Oh well, I supposed it was his choice if he wanted to associate with such riffraff. It was time I paid a visit to my old friend and asked him for a favor. He owed me that much. I vowed that somehow this would get settled and poor little Isabella would die. I smiled at the thought and started to run north.
Bella's POV
I gripped the passenger seat so hard that my knuckles were aching and white as I watched Conner break into a run and disappear from my view. I had to hold onto something, anything that would keep me in the car instead of calling out to him again and telling him that I had changed my mind, that I wanted to go back to Tanya's house. Because a part of me desperately wanted that. Wanted to see Edward again, and tell him what was happening to me. Wanted to feel his cold arms wrap themselves around me and hear his perfect voice tell me that it would all turn out alright. Wanted to hear him tell me that he loved me, that he loved us. But that was the dreamer's part of me, that was the fantasy, the lie. What I wanted from life and what I was going to get were two entirely different things.
The truth of it was that I didn't have the courage to face him. There was no doubt in my mind that he was no longer in love with me. Sometimes I wondered if he ever was at all. It never really did make sense for him to see so much in me. That had always nagged at me, the confusion of why he cared, even in the times when his love had seemed so pure, so perfect. But I had suppressed the doubts, pushed them to the very back of my mind, hoping that it didn't matter, that, somehow, I had managed to make the man of my dreams fall for plain, ordinary me. Maybe I should have listened to the warning bells in my head. Maybe then it wouldn't have hurt so much to hear the truth. Maybe then I wouldn't be afraid to hear him say, once again, that he didn't want me.
The crazy thing was, though, having Edward reject me again wasn't the thing I feared the most. The thing that terrified me was that he would want to be with me again after he learned about the baby. That he would want to be with me again only because of the baby. I had already dealt with losing him once, and I had come to terms with the fact that I would love him forever, even if he didn't choose to love me. I had hoped that someday I might even forget how much it hurt to know he didn't care. I could never forget him, even if I wanted to, which I didn't, but at least his absence might make the pain a little bit more bearable. But to have him with me, to see him every day knowing that he doesn't love me, to look at him, brush past him, smell him. It would be too much. Every time he came near me, my heart would break all over again. And how many times can one person's heart break before they die from the pain? I didn't want to find out.
But what would make my life easier was not all that I had to consider. Five miles down the road was the father of my baby; I had the opportunity to tell him the truth and give my child the chance to know both of his parents. Could I really be selfish enough to deny my baby that chance? Could I really be that horrible of a person to put my desires above what was best for my child? The only answer my mind kept giving for these questions was no.
The war that raged within me was about to end. Each side had given its best fight, its strongest argument. And now it was time to determine which side had won. In the end, it came down to my priorities. I needed to decide who would come first in my life: my baby or me. And once I had reduced the argument to that, my choice was obvious. It had been the same since the first second I had felt my child move inside my body. It would be the same until the day I died. My child would always come first.
Now that I had made my decision, I willed my tears to stop. I willed my body to stop shaking long enough for me to maneuver my way to the driver's side of Conner's car. I willed my mind to keep some clarity as I steered the car along the snowy roads that would take me back to Tanya's house. And I willed my heart to keep on beating no matter what happened when I got there.
Edward's POV
I reached him within seconds, and he didn't have time to react before I grabbed him by the collar of his coat and shoved him up against the wooden door through which he had just entered. Luckily, the door was solid oak and did not crack from the force of his body being slammed against it, though it did cause quite a loud thud and I knew that the other occupants of the household would soon be coming to investigate the cause of the sound. He pushed me away from him and said "What the hell!" but his anger was strangely mixed with curiosity.
Tanya stood between us with her back facing the newcomer and her hand outstretched in my direction. I did not move at him again but I continued to stare into his eyes and I opened my mind to his thoughts. The Iliad again. His mind should have been cursing me out for attacking him, wondering why I had done it. But he seemed only minimally surprised at my actions and his thoughts were very controlled. Too controlled. He was hiding something. How he knew to do so in my presence was a mystery, but I was going to find out what the hell was going on if I had to pummel it out of him.
My entire family was in the room in less than a minute, and I saw me through their eyes. I saw how deranged I looked, how distraught. But their presence would be to my benefit, because my family could confirm what my senses were screaming at me: that this stranger smelled like Bella. And not faintly, not in a way that could be written off as just strikingly similar but not quite right. The smell was exactly Bella, and no one was going to convince me otherwise because I had lived and breathed that scent ever since her arrival in Forks last January. Freesia and strawberries and heaven. Perfection. Delight. Pain.
She was dead, I knew it, I really did, and I had been trying to accept that ever since I had heard Alice speak the words. But I still wanted to hope that we were wrong. No one had actually witnessed her death; nobody had found her lifeless form. She could still be alive. God, I wanted that so much. I wanted to believe that there was a chance for me to make this right. I wanted to believe that my broken world could somehow be put back together again. If I had to spend an eternity making my stupid actions up to her, I would do it if only she were alive to give me the chance. I would shower her with my affections; I would give her anything and everything she wanted.
"Edward, what's going on?" Tanya asked gently, coddling me as she had been for the past few hours as if that would somehow be just what I needed to fix my life. My family members were all asking the same question, though their inquiries were within their minds.
Instead of answering Tanya, I answered them. "Sniff," I pleaded, looking into each of their faces before my gaze returned to his eyes. I had learned from Bella just how informative peoples' eyes could be when their minds were being uncooperative. "Just get close to him and inhale. It's there, I swear it. He smells just like her." When I mentioned that he smelled like her, he looked away and I grew even more suspicious of him. I focused in on his mind. Nothing. Still that damn story.
"Oh, Edward. Don't do this." It was Tanya again, the kindness in her voice somewhat strained now. "I know you are going through a difficult time, really, I understand. But Conner has never wronged you and he is a part of my family. I will not have you disrespecting him in my home." Oh, I fully planned on doing more than disrespecting him if I found out he was keeping Bella from me.
Everyone in my family stayed stuck to their respective spots on the hardwood floor, saddened, it seemed, by my evident loss of sanity. Everyone except for Alice, who bit her lower lip in a completely Bella-esque fashion before she walked slowly toward Conner. My heart ached as I pictured Bella blushing and chewing on her lip. She was so cute and so innocent and the little things like that were what I missed the most. When Alice was about six inches away from him, she closed her eyes and inhaled, slow and deep. She gasped and her eyes flew open. She stared at him for a moment, and then her eyes moved to me. I heard her thoughts before she voiced them for the rest of my family. "Edward is right. He smells just like her. Just like Bella."
Conner's POV
I was a complete idiot. I had been so focused on keeping my thoughts clear of Layla, for reasons that I still wasn't sure, and I hadn't even considered the fact that my kind are renowned for their sense of smell. I was delighted to inhale the fragrance that our interactions had left clinging to my clothing, but it hadn't occurred to me until right this second that the smell of her would let the cat out of the bag. I hoped that my stupidity had not placed her in danger; I would never forgive myself if it had.
Wait, that tiny woman had just said that I smelled like "Bella". Who the hell was Bella? Perhaps this was all just a very big misunderstanding. Maybe I still had the chance to protect her.
"Look, I don't know what you're going on about. I don't know anyone named Bella and the only things I smell like are a bunch of human patients that I treated at the hospital today. Could someone please explain to me what is going on?" I didn't have to wait long for someone to speak, though I was a bit leery of the fact that it was my attacker's voice that rang out.
"No, Conner, you don't smell like "a bunch of human patients", you smell very strongly of one human girl in particular. Her name is Bella and if you know where she is, you are going to tell me or, so help me, I am going to tear you apart." Wonderful. I was being threatened and I had no clue why or what the hell was happening here. And there was no doubt in my mind that he meant every word he spoke. How was I going to get myself out of this one? I decided to go with honesty for the time being.
"I wish I could help you, uh, Edward, was it? But I truthfully don't know what is going on. Who is this Bella, anyway? Why are you so concerned about a human girl?" I saw the pain flash in his eyes and he lowered his head as what I recognized all too well as grief washed over him. I actually almost felt bad for him. Maybe I would have felt some sympathy if the memory of him shoving me up against the door wasn't so fresh in my head.
I saw a blonde haired man come up behind him and place a reassuring hand on his shoulder. Then the man looked at me. "Hello, Conner. Tanya has told us a great deal about you. My name is Carlisle and this is my wife, Esme, and our children." He motioned around the room to the other members of his family. "You must forgive my son. He—well, our entire family, actually—has been though a great deal these past few days. You see, Bella, the human girl we speak of, was like a member of our family and we recently lost her. It has been very difficult for all of us. I hope you can understand."
"Of course, yes, I understand. My condolences." This was beginning to make a little more sense. This family had recently lost a human named Bella, and Layla had seemed to know them when we were nearing the house, but had not wanted to see them or have them know that she was here. I was starting to wonder if Bella and Layla were one and the same. I was also starting to wonder why, exactly, she was hiding from them. His strained words broke through my ponderings and I instantly realized my mistake.
"Conner, who is Layla?"
Edward's POV
…Bella and Layla were one and the same. Why was she hiding from them…?
He had finally slipped up and it took all of the control I possessed to keep myself from hitting him. I clenched my fists together and asked him about his thoughts. His eyes grew wide almost instantly and before he once again started thinking about that blasted Greek story, I saw a flash of images run through his mind. A blonde-haired girl lying in a hospital room, her eyes widened in fear. The same girl sitting in the passenger seat of a car, sleeping. Hands on a swollen stomach and then the girl smiling widely.
She was blonde now but still beautiful. My Bella, she was alive. I nearly cried out with joy. And then I realized the meaning of what else I had seen. She was thin, to the point of being unhealthily so, and yet her stomach had been rounder, bigger. And he had been holding her hand and touching her swollen body. I was going to kill him.
"Where is she?" I shouted before I gave him the opportunity to respond to my last question with a lie. I attempted to launch myself at him, but Carlisle was still holding me in place and just as I was about to break free from him, Emmett grasped my other shoulder and kept me from attacking Conner. "Where?!?" I demanded again, more loudly this time, still struggling to break free.
"Calm down, Edward," Carlisle said in a tone that was both soothing and authoritative. He looked from me to Conner and back again.
"I will NOT calm down, Carlisle! I saw his mind. He's been doing his best to keep me out ever since he got here but I saw her. He knows where she is." I was an emotional disaster. I was so completely elated that my biggest hope had been realized: Bella was not dead. I could still make things right. But I was also desperate and worried and confused and angry because I couldn't do anything if I didn't know where she was. Conner knew and he was going to tell me. And then I was going to rip into him for touching my Bella.
"Conner, what is he talking about?" Tanya asked, her gaze ping-ponging between my eyes and his. Tanya's brow furrowed as she watched him. It appeared as though she was finally becoming suspicious.
He looked at me, his expression full of false confusion. "I have no idea," he stated, his jaw clenched. That lying son-of-a-bitch. "Look, I'm sorry Tanya, but I can't stay here if it's going to be like this. I'm going to get going back to my place and you can give me a call when it is okay for me to come back. I'm sorry." He turned to leave. If he walked out that door, my chances of finding Bella went with him. There was no way I was going to let that happen. Somehow, I wriggled free from Emmett's stronghold and I lunged for Conner.
He turned when he heard my movements, but I was too fast and I managed to propel him through the front picture window. I followed him through the broken glass to the snow-covered ground outside and was on top of him before he had time to right himself. I growled at him and then her panicked words froze me in place.
"Edward STOP!" I looked in the direction of her voice and, if it were possible, my heart would have skipped a beat. The snowy wind swirled her hair in front of her face and nearly froze the wetness of her tears to her reddened cheeks. My mouth gaped open as I took her in, the sight of her, the smell of her. How badly I wished to hold her right at that moment. She was so small, so fragile, and yet within her tiny frame was my entire universe. How had I ever managed to leave her behind? I vowed, then and there, that I would never, ever do it again.
In my shock, I had forgotten what I had been doing prior to her arrival until I felt his fist contact my jaw and I went flying through the air toward a nearby tree. My body smacked against the trunk and it made a splitting sound, but remained standing. I growled again, but I was not tempted to return to the fight. Bella was here. I had more important things to take care of.
"Conner!" I heard her yell pleadingly. "Please, don't." My eyes left her and gazed at him, just in time to see the look he gave her when she said his name. I didn't like it. Not at all. It was possessive, protective, worried. All things he certainly should not be feeling for the woman who was the center of my world. Our fight would have to wait, but I certainly would not forget to pick up where we had left off.
Bella's POV
My memory had not done him justice. He was absolutely breathtaking. My heart ached and the tears silently snuck down my frozen cheeks. I wondered for the millionth time if I had made the right choice in coming here. Conner walked to me quickly and protectively pulled me against his side. Edward was not far behind him and he hissed at Conner's actions. I wasn't quite sure how to take that reaction, and while I wasn't entirely sure I should be allowing Conner to act as he was, I also knew that I just might need his protection and comfort in the coming hours, so I decided to allow his arm to hold me close even though my body yearned to run to Edward.
I had to remember. All of his cruel words that I had fought so hard to forget needed to be brought to the forefront of my mind so that I wouldn't fall to my knees and beg Edward to reconsider his feelings. I was stronger now. He had said he didn't need or want me and I was determined not to need or want him. Or, at least, not to need him because I didn't think I would ever be able to stop wanting him. I had come here for one reason and one reason only and when I was done with that, I would allow myself to get away for a little bit and cry. And then I would move on. Falling apart at his feet was unacceptable.
I heard the sound of voices coming from the direction of the house and I instantly tensed. The first person to reach us was a gorgeous strawberry-blonde stranger. She ran to Edward's side and grabbed his hand as he stood there, alternating between shooting daggers from his dark eyes in the direction of Conner and looking at me, his expression full of confusion and pain. "Edward, are you okay?" she said in the beautiful, melodic voice that I had expected to exit her lips. She looked worried and confused and possessive. I hated her already. She had no right to feel possessive over Edward. Who was she anyway? She was gorgeous and perfect and had all the common attributes of a vampire. So, basically, she was everything that I wasn't. And she was, no doubt, one of the distractions Edward had mentioned before he left.
When she realized that Edward was currently incapable of speaking, she looked from Conner to me, her eyes dripping with disdain as they performed a quick onceover, and then back to Conner and said, "What the hell is going on, Conner? Who is this?" Her words were jumbled in my ears. All I had the ability to focus on right now was her hand intertwined with Edward's. I suddenly was not feeling up to this anymore. I had expected to see Edward and the rest of the Cullens but I had also expected him to be alone. I guess I had been secretly, even unbeknownst to me, hoping that he would be missing me just a little bit. I had been completely wrong, completely stupid yet again and now I was even more certain than I had ever been that he had never cared. He took everything from me and he didn't care.
I forced my eyes to break away from the evil sight of their hands, looked into Conner's golden eyes as if they were my lifeline and found my voice. "Conner, will you please take me back to Fairbanks? I can't—I just—I thought, but I—can we just go?" I couldn't even form a coherent sentence. My mind was a mess. I had sworn to myself that he wouldn't break me again and he had. My heart was being ripped apart, piece by excruciating piece and if I didn't get away from here, I was fairly certain I would die from the pain of it. Their voices rang out simultaneously.
"Bella!?!" sounded from the house and closer in the voices of all the members of the Cullen family.
"Sure, let's go," Conner responded to my request.
"Bella, please, what are you doing?" asked Edward. I looked away from Conner and into Edward's saddened eyes. Why would he be sad? He had no reason to be. I still loved him, after all. And now he had her. He had everything. I had nothing. Well, no, that wasn't entirely true. I had our child. The one thing he had given me that he had no right to take away.
Maybe I would manage to build up the courage to talk to him about it once I had come to terms with his distraction but, until then, I needed space. Looking away from his eyes before they disabled my faculties of motion, I glanced once again at their offensive hands. Could he not see how much it was killing me? He followed my gaze and instantly released the beautiful woman's fingers. He looked back at me, I knew, but I did not return the gesture.
My sadness was gradually dimming and replacing itself with anger and frustration and bitterness. How could he do this to me? Why couldn't he have cared just a little bit? My new emotions made my words colder than I had intended them to be as I answered his question. "I'm leaving, Edward. I'm surprised you didn't recognize the action, seeing as how you so expertly did the same thing only weeks ago." I felt guilty as soon as the words were out, which only increased my anger with myself because I should not be the one feeling guilty.
I steeled myself to meet his gaze one more time, taking a deep breath and cementing my hardened expression in hopes that my emotions would not cause it to waver. I looked up into his beautiful face, directly into his eyes, which I refused to allow to dazzle me, and stated matter-of-factly, "Then again, I never was as good at things as you were. That was always part of the problem, wasn't it? But don't worry, I'll leave you to your distractions." My eyes flitted to the woman standing next to him as I said the last word and then returned to his shocked face. I drank in the sight of him one last time and then turned toward the car with Conner.
This had not gone as I had expected, not at all. I should have just stayed in the parked car. I should never have come here. Maybe I would get lucky and he hadn't noticed the change in my profile enough to ask questions. Maybe I could just remove myself from his life like he had removed himself from mine and try to put the pieces of me back together again. Just breathe I thought to myself. In and out. In and out. I longed for the rocking chair. I longed for the comfort of my home, my bed, my family. But most of all, I longed to be wrapped in the cool, loving arms of the man that I had just turned my back on.
Victoria's POV
I approached the house stealthily, careful to maintain a position that would not alert the Denali vampires to my presence. Carefully, I made my way up a tree to an area of cleared branches that were practically made for me to use as a lookout station. The sight that met my eyes when I looked in the direction of the house caused both joy and frustration. Joy because my hunch had been correct: Isabella was alive and standing only about a hundred feet away from me. Her hair was different, and her body had changed slightly, but I would recognize her scent anywhere. It had lingered in my nasal passages since the day James had died.
The frustration came when I counted the twelve vampires that were positioned near her. I may be good in combat, but even I knew when I had met my match and being outnumbered twelve to one was certainly more than I would be able to handle. So I remained in my tree and covertly observed and listened. The conversation bored me until the fragile human grew some semblance of a backbone and told dear Edward that she was leaving. The expression on his face was priceless; it looked as if she had slapped him. Oh yes, he still loved her, though it was obvious she thought he didn't. This was going to be so fun. And it would definitely be to my advantage if I only had to deal with the one dark-haired vampire they called Conner to get to the girl. He shouldn't be difficult to kill.
I was about to dismount as she turned toward the car until I heard his words ring loud and clear in my ears, as if he had been standing right next to me, as if I had been meant to hear his plea. "Bella, please, don't go. What about our baby?" Their baby? What baby? How could they have a baby? I looked at the human girl again and I saw how her coat was snug against her midsection. I couldn't believe I had missed that. I supposed the myths that revolved around vampire-human couplings were true, though they typically resulted in the human being killed by her lover. There really wasn't much in the way of precedents in this situation, although I could see how it might happen. This was better than I ever could have dreamed. The wheels of evil thought were turning rapidly in my mind and I was even more eager to complete my task now than I had ever been.
Because now I wasn't just going to hurt Edward as much as he had hurt me. No, I was going to hurt him more. I was going to kill the woman he loved and with her death would come the death of their child. He would suffer and I would be satisfied. All that was left to do was to watch and wait. And when the time came, they would die.