Breathe easy my friends. I had to inject a little humor. I have also decided that Carmen is like Barba's #1 warrior - she will battle with him till the end of days. I like to think she's kind of the Donna Paulson to Barba's Harvey Specter but without the crazy sexual chemistry (Suits if you aren't familiar with the reference). Like he's brought Carmen along with him on each of his moves cause he trusts no one and would hate to train someone new every time he moved offices. And hello Lucia!
The courthouse steps were chaos as Amanda and Olivia pulled up the barriers. Amanda slowed down to park as Olivia jumped out of the car, rushing towards the chaos everyone else seemed to be running from. She shoved her way past patrol and first responders, planning to storm through the doors and take apart the building brick by brick if she had to in order to find him.
She didn't get very far when she saw Carmen and Carisi running toward her. She grabbed her detective. "What the hell happened?"
Carisi motioned to Carmen. "Mr. Barba had a strong case, Lieutenant. Every motion the defense made he knocked right down. I was making notes for Mr. Barba and I could see the defendant was getting agitated. And this new bailiff just walked too close to the defense table. I swear it was like slow motion. He just grabbed the gun off the bailiff and punched him out and he started waving the gun around and… Mr. Barba waved for me to get down. For all of us to get down. The defendant was screaming awful things at Judge Murphy and Mr. Barba…" Carmen stopped and Liv wanted to throw up as the tears filled her eyes. "Mr. Barba put himself between Judge Murphy and the defendant. He was trying…" Carmen couldn't get any more words out and Olivia wanted to hit something. Hard. She turned to Carisi.
"I wasn't in there, Lieu. I was following up on a few leads for Barba and I didn't know anything was off till the gun fired. I got in there as fast I as I could but Barba was down by the time… so I took down the defendant and cuffed him and Judge Murphy called 911 on her phone."
Olivia felt lost. "Where is he?" she managed to choke out.
"There!" Amanda yelled, pointing at a gurney being run to an ambulance. She sprinted toward them, Amanda following behind. She grabbed one of the EMTs as they were loading him in. "How… where…" The man recognized Olivia, thank god.
"He got grazed by the bullet on his left shoulder but Judge Murphy said when it spun him around he hit his head on the corner of her desk and then the floor. We haven't been able to get him to wake up."
"I'm coming with him" Olivia spit out. The EMTs looked at each other, unsure of what to do when she felt Amanda push her up into the ambulance.
"She's his girlfriend. Now go!" Amanda yelled at the three of them. They finished loading the gurney and Olivia looked over her shoulder as the doors closed. Amanda just shrugged her shoulders at Olivia and ran back into the fray.
She collapsed into a waiting chair, unsure of what to do with the energy that was moving through her body. She went as far as she could with them. The ER doctor recognized her too and promised that as soon as he had examined Barba he would be out. Carmen walked in not too long after her, a bag slung over her shoulder. She sat next to Olivia.
"I didn't know where else to go" she said quietly. "I got his stuff out of the courtroom and just came here. Any word?" Olivia just shook her head. "I called his mom. I would imagine she will be here soon too. I don't know if you want to…"
"I'm staying."
Carmen just nodded. "Good." Olivia looked over at the young woman. "Once all this wears off, she's going to have a million questions for you and for him. You ready for that?"
"More than" Olivia replied, her shoulders sagging. She reached into her bag and pulled out the letter, clutching it in her hand. This poetic letter he took the time to write her. She had to be able to reply. To tell him. She didn't fight through all the bullshit of her youth and the back and forth with Elliot and then Haden and Tucker to not finally be given a chance to get it right.
Olivia leaned back, head resting against the wall and closed her eyes. Carmen studied her for a few moments.
"Lieutenant, for what it's worth and if it means anything… he cares about you more than anything in this world. I'm one of the very few that has seen him vulnerable and… well, I just know that what he feels for you not only is very real, but this may be the first time in his whole life he has cared this much about another individual." Olivia felt the tears fall down her face and she couldn't stop them. She felt Carmen pat her on the arm. "Thank you" Olivia choked out.
"TELL ME WHERE MY SON IS NOW!" they heard bellowed from down the hallway. Carmen sighed and pushed herself out of the chair. "So, Lucia's here…" she said over her shoulder as she walked toward where they could hear the woman berating some poor nurse. Olivia straightened herself up, wiping the tears off her face as best she could. A few moments later Carmen returned with a worked-up Lucia Barba striding in behind her. She narrowed her eyes at Olivia.
"Benson, right?"
Olivia nodded. "Yes, please. Olivia." She could feel Lucia looking her up and down, trying to figure out the situation. Olivia had never been so glad to have a doctor enter a room in her entire life.
"Are you Rafael Barba's girlfriend?" the doctor, who was NOT someone who knew her, asked, looking straight at Olivia. She saw Lucia cross her arms out of the corner of her eye and she saw Carmen press her lips together and look at the floor.
Olivia cleared her throat. "Lieutenant Olivia Benson, SVU. This is Lucia Barba, his mother and his assistant, Carmen." Then, the doctor who did know her came into the room, taking the file from the other man.
"Sorry, Liv, I needed to look at something before I came out here. My intern jumped the gun." He motioned for the three women to sit.
"So, here's the deal. The bullet wound is nothing. It was just a graze. We stitched that up and he will be sore for a few days but just fine. What is troubling is the knock on the head. He hasn't woken up yet. According to what we have been told, the shot spun him around and he hit the corner of the judge's bench, which knocked him out cold so he couldn't stop himself from slamming his head against the marble when he landed. We did a scan and don't see any bleeding or anything on his brain. There isn't anything abnormal there. But it's been a few hours and he still hasn't woken up yet."
"What does that mean?" Lucia asked.
"It means right now we wait. Hope he just wakes up on his own and is no worse for wear. But if he's still unconscious in 12 hours, we will have to call in a specialist and run some more tests." Olivia just nodded. "He's being moved to a room now. I'll have someone come get you as soon as he is settled." The doctor took his leave, leaving the three women in the waiting room.
Carmen looked back and forth between Olivia and Lucia and if they weren't in the situation they were currently in, she would be laughing hysterically. She cleared her throat and stood up.
"I think I'm going to go to his apartment and get him some clothes. I would imagine that suit is toast. Lucia, will you text me if something changes before I get back? Do you all want anything? I'll bring some food." Neither woman really responded other than a head nod, so she took that as her moment to leave.
Lucia turned her head toward Olivia, who was just staring at the paper in her hand.
"So…" she started. Olivia turned toward her slightly. "Girlfriend?" Olivia just sighed.
"One of my detectives said that to the EMT so they would let me in the ambulance to come over here with him."
"So… it's not true?" Olivia slide her eyes over the older woman. The look on her face made Lucia smile. Then a nurse came in to let them know that Barba was settled in a room. They grabbed their things and got up to follow the nurse as Lucia wrapped her arm around Olivia's.
"We will just table this discussion for a later date when I can grill you and my son at the same time" she said, patting Olivia's arm.
"Thank God" Olivia replied, eliciting a laugh from Lucia.
He slowly pried his eyes open. The pounding woke him up. He thought he was going to have to have another discussion with his neighbor about appropriate times to do construction projects but he soon realized the pounding was in his head.
He groaned and that jolted Olivia awake from where she slept in the chair next to his bed, head resting on top of his hand. She glanced at her watch and saw it was just a little after 1AM. They ran more tests at the 12-hour mark and still didn't see anything concerning. So, they continued to wait. Amanda had retrieved Noah from Lucy and Lucia had gone home to try to sleep. Olivia had refused to leave. After his words and his honesty, there was no way she was leaving his side when he needed her the most. Ever. She quickly called for a nurse, who called for the doctor on duty. They seemed to think he was going to be fine, but would order some tests for first thing in the morning to make sure.
"Water" he groaned out as they walked out the door and she retrieved the cup and the straw for him. She could only stare as he drank the water, taking in his surroundings. "What happened?" he asked.
Olivia quickly recounted the events for him and where he was. "The doctors have been concerned about how hard you hit your head so there have been all kinds of people in and out of here, checking you. It's been a little scary." She finally took a breath and put the cup back on the table as he handed it to her.
"One more question" he said, looking at her. She nodded.
"Who are you?" It was like the breath had been sucked out of her body. She just stared at his face, but he looked at her blankly. She swallowed the large lump in her throat.
"You… you don't… you don't know me?" she asked, trying not to let emotion completely cloud her voice.
"I do, Olivia, but wouldn't that have been a hell of a story" he replied, a smile slowly spreading across his face. It took her a moment before she understood. She grabbed the extra pillow off the chair behind her and hit him with it.
"You jackass" she yelled, hitting him lightly in the stomach with the pillow. He laughed and grabbed it, tossing it behind her.
"Come here" he said, dragging her toward him. She pulled away and walked around the bed, away from the injured shoulder. He gave her a questioning look and she pointed at the bandage. "You got shot." He looked down at it, eyes wide. "Huh" he said, just staring at it. "I got shot." He stretched out his arm, adjusting so she could lay with him on the bed.
She stretched out next to him, arm around his waist, head on his shoulder. "I get to talk now and you are going to let me" she said. She looked up at him and he pressed his lips together.
She rested her hand on his cheek. "Don't ever accuse me of being disenchanted with you ever again. I'm not sure I ever could be. You are what I want in my life and I'm so sorry it took me 5 years to see it. If I could build a time machine, I would go back and find you after the Cain verdict and drag you into an empty room and I would have jumped you right on the spot. Cause that belt thing was fucking sexy." His eyes got wide put he still kept his lips pressed in a tight line. "And I may not have written an eloquent letter, but I love you too, Rafael Barba. Pretty sure I have for a long time. I want you in my life and more importantly, I want you in Noah's life. I told him you were hurt and he said he was going to draw you a picture that would help you get all better." His eyes were smiling, dancing, lite up, but he still pressed his lips together. She sighed. "You can talk now."
"Good" he croaked out, dragging her lips to his. Their tongues dueled and she pressed herself into him, causing him to groan in what she immediately knew to not be a good way. "Sorry" she whispered, settling back against his side.
"Never apologize for that. Ever." He ran his hand through her hair. "Stay with me?"
"Wild horses couldn't drag me out of this room, Raf." He pressed a light kiss to her head and closed his eyes.
"Oh, and just an FYI. Amanda may have told the EMTs I was your girlfriend to get me in the ambulance with you and they may have told the ER intern who may have announced to your mother that I was your girlfriend. We will probably have that to deal with in a few hours when she gets back." He groaned and ran his hand over his face. "Perfect" he sighed.