What's up, everyone? Thank you again for all the views, follows and favorites! I am so happy that my story was viewed over a 1000 times, thank you.
About this chapter: It is again LENALEE'S POV, hope that doesn't confuse you guys too much. This chapter is a little shorter but I think it is important for Lenalee & Lavi. There are no special warnings.
Special request (plea?): Since this is the 10th chapter, I would be extra-super-duper happy if you guys could shoot me some reviews. I am not one who would normally ask such a request but since it is kind of a milestone in the number of chapters, I really wish to know what you guys think. I would really appreciate some feedback, especially about how to improve the story & my writing. Thank you so much in advance 3
Chapter 10: No future [Lenalee]
It was a cold night but I didn't mind it, I needed it to clear my head. Allen was with Serena at that competition and I couldn't help it, I felt so jealous. When she walked down the stairs, I saw their looks, their desire for her, and I wished someone would look at me like that. I understood Lavi though, she was perfect for the job. She was shamelessly confident and knew how to push people's buttons the right way, exactly what was needed tonight. To press Allen's buttons too, to make him better because only she could do that. She could bring out a completely new side of him: the dangerous and manipulative in him, the perfect gambler. Serena might not be able to fight physically but that didn't make her any less threatening, she got her own devious ways. But I was no better than her tonight; we exploited her for our goal and expected her to comply without question. She knew that, and she still did it.
"We are using her," I said to Lavi who was standing next to me on the roof. The night was dark, the moon was hidden behind a thick layer of clouds. Instead of our uniforms, we wore all black that allowed us to blend into the darkness completely.
"She is perfect for it." His voice was emotionless, like he didn't care about it at all. Sometimes I really hated how calculating he could be, it always reminded me of who he really was. A Bookman who wasn't supposed to have connections; his caring side was just a mask to make it easier for us. I only cared for a creation of his imagination, Lavi wasn't real.
"It isn't right," I replied harshly but he just laughed. It wasn't one of those happy, 'everything-will-be-fine' laughs, it was dry. He left his mask back at the inn tonight.
"Is this how much you'd want to be in her place?" It wasn't a question, he hissed at me cruelly. I turned towards him so fast that my neck hurt, I couldn't believe he just said that. This was not him, he was never mean before, there was something up with him.
"What is your problem?" I asked, and I could feel my nails dig into my palm, I was clenching my fist so hard.
"I'm not stupid, I know you wish you were in her place, so you could be with him," he answered, his emotionless voice was back again. Was he jealous? Allen and I have a special connection, I could not deny how important he was to me despite not knowing him for very long, but I was not in love with him, even though I knew a lot of people thought that. Still, he had no right treating me like that, acting like this. Whom I loved belonged to me and he had no right disrespecting that.
"If you knew that so well, why didn't you send me?" I yelled at him loudly but I didn't care. It only angered him more, he grabbed my arm aggressively and yanked my body towards him. I clashed into him but I didn't complain, no, I wasn't going to be weak. Not now.
"Because you were not right for the mission." His voice was suddenly quiet, even broken. He let go of my arm and turned his back to me. My heart started throbbing so fast I thought it was going to explode in my chest I was so angry at him. Where was all of this coming? He was never this cruel to me.
"You call yourself the future Bookman, but you can be so stupid," I said and wrapped my arm around his waist, pushing my face into his strong back. No matter what his problem was, I was willing to forgive him for treating me bad and offer him comfort, he was stupid for thinking that I would let him hurt me so he could finally feel something. However, Lavi sighed and unwrapped my arms from his body. He turned back towards me but stepped back, creating distance between us. I was confused and scared, because he was so hostile towards me.
"Please, tell me how I am so stupid. Am I supposed to jeopardize the mission because you think it is wrong that Serena is with Allen?" His voice was dripping with anger and disgust so much, I felt tears collecting in my eyes. Thank God, it was dark, I didn't want him to see me cry. "I would be stupid if I didn't notice how in love you are with him. You know what? Go, go to him, play his whore for the night!"
My hand automatically swung towards his face and I slapped him so hard that it echoed in the night. I was absolutely furious; my body was trembling. "How dare you? If you are angry at the world, you can take it out on me, I don't care. However, you don't get to hurt me because you want to cover up how wrong you feel for sending her." I couldn't help it anymore, my tears like rivers started flowing down my face.
"Lenalee…" he started but I interrupted. I didn't even care that my voice became husky from trying to suppress my crying.
"No, you don't even get to talk! Do you even notice how I look at you? You are so self-consumed that you only see what you want to, only look for things that confirm your own stupid theories. It makes me so angry how blind you really are, how all this time you didn't notice me. You are selfish and I…" I couldn't finish my sentence, I suddenly felt his strong arms wrap around me and his body pressed against mine. There was so much I wanted to say, yell, but his lips cut me off, kissing me so passionately that I felt like I was going to melt in his arms. I was holding him so hard that my fingers went numb but I had never felt as happy and complete as I did in that moment. I wished it would never end because I knew it was the first and last kiss I would ever get from him. He was a Bookman after all, what we were doing was completely forbidden.
"Lenalee…" he started again but I silenced him with another kiss. This time it was sour and painful but the sweetness of his lips eased all my pain.
"Don't ruin it," I begged and I leaned against his chest. "Let me have tonight, please. Don't tell me how I can't feel like this."
"I won't, not tonight." He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. His heart was beating fast and in that moment, it was the most beautiful sound to me. I wished I could listen to it forever, to fall asleep and wake up to it beating, to never have to hear it fade. I felt like a thousand tons were lifted off my chest, it was liberating that he finally knew how much he really meant to me. There was a long, painful future ahead of us, precisely because of the impossibility of 'us' but I knew everything was going to be fine as long as I could remember this night.
I didn't know how long we were standing there like that, it could've been minutes or hours, it didn't matter. He was the only one that mattered in that moment, there was no war, no mission, no Innocence, no nothing. For a little bit, we got to be us.
"It is time to go," I said finally and pushed myself away from him. He laid a last kiss on my lips and pressed his forehead to mine. I had never been so happy and in so much pain at the same time. "This will get harder, won't it?"
"No," he answered quietly. "It will get impossible."
The weight of his words was so substantial that I suddenly felt nauseous. This, us, tonight was forbidden, it was no supposed to happen. Lavi let it, however, making me wonder if he only did it for me. Sometimes, it was so hard to remind myself that he wasn't real, and that everything he did and said was planned. Did he plan this? No, I couldn't think like that, I could not ruin this perfect moment thinking that it was a lie. I would not be able to bear it, so I was going to pretend that he meant it even if he didn't. I was going to pretend that he really was true in that moment, that way I would be able to carry on without him for the rest of my life.
We stood in front of the roof door for a couple seconds before he let go of my hand and opened the door for me. I took a deep breath then stepped through the dreaded door frame, ready to bottle up everything as long as I could. We swiftly made our way downstairs to look for the spear without being noticed which was not an easy task with the heightened security in the building. We had to enter from the top because the ground was surrounded by guards but we had no idea where the spear might be once we were inside. Therefore, our only option was to search the rooms one by one and find it before the Akumas or anyone else could interfere. I hoped Allen and Serena were doing fine, although I was sure that Allen had many tricks up his sleeve (and her garter). Worst comes to worse, if we failed to find the spear they could still legitimately win it, but above all, with the help of Allen's eye they could monitor the Akuma's presence in the building.
"This is going to take forever," whispered Lavi while trying to pick the lock on one of the doors. "I didn't think they all would be locked."
"Right, we need to find a master key," I agreed with a nod. "There has to be a floorplan in the stairwell, that will tell us where the control room is."
We rushed towards the stairwell, but unfortunately we weren't the only ones heading that way. There were at least three men approaching from around the corner and it was a matter of seconds that they would find us. Lavi was faster than me, he quickly pulled me into the janitor's closet and locked the door behind us. The room was small and full of cleaning supplies, so I had to stand extremely close to him to not knock anything down the shelves. After the men passed the door and the sound of their footsteps disappeared, he turned around and let out a relieved sigh. It was pitch dark in the room but I could sense every single inch of his being and hear his breathing become heavier as I pressed myself closer to him. His hands immediately found their way to my waist to pull me closer and I felt his warm breath hovering over my lips. In that moment, I wished he would kiss me, hold me, feel me, and make me his. I didn't care what we said on that rooftop anymore, I could not stop thinking about kissing every corner of his body and running my fingers through his hair. However, he stepped away from me and turned around, refusing to face me.
"If we get lucky there is a set of keys on the janitor's cart," Lavi said and started feeling the objects around him. There was not enough space for me to help, so I just remained quiet until he finally found what we needed. I few moments later I hear the sound of keys jingling and he stood up, facing me again. "Let's get out of here before I do something that I really shouldn't."
Lavi grabbed my hand again and pulled me out of the dark room. Did he just imply what I think he did? My body was burning to the thought of him touching me in places no one had ever done before, I felt ashamed by my own animalistic desires. I shook my head vehemently hoping these thoughts would somehow fall out of my mind but they wouldn't leave. I wanted him so bad and that scared and surprised me at the same time. This wasn't me, I wasn't like this. He was driving me crazy.
Using the master key, we were able to open the doors quickly, however there were many rooms and most of them were just normal hotel rooms. It took us forever to look through the top floor and we were definitely running out of time. The tournament had probably already started and we couldn't let the winner be announced before we found the spear.
"Lavi, it isn't going to be in one of these rooms. I have a feeling that it is in the basement," I said after he closed the door of the last room on the floor. "How are we going to get down there without being noticed though?"
"I have an idea," he replied with a self-satisfied smile on his face and pointed to the laundry chute.
"Are you even going to fit?" I asked laughing which he clearly didn't enjoy.
"Won't know until I try. I'll go first and if I get stuck I give you permission to gently kick me down," he said raising his index finger to the word 'gently'. This was going to be fun.
Surprisingly, Lavi actually fit through the laundry chute when he crossed his arms in front of his body. He wasn't a big person but he did have very broad shoulders which was something I had always found very attractive about him. God, I had to stop thinking about him this way, for he was forbidden to me. It was like that secret kiss opened up something inside me and allowed these thoughts to take over my mind. No, everything had to go back to the way it was before, Lavi and I were friends. He was my rock, nothing more, nothing less.
The chute was pretty long, it took us a couple minutes to reach the bottom. As expected, we found ourselves in the laundry room, in the presence of one very frightened maid. Lavi didn't hesitate, he grabbed her quickly and put his hand over her moth so she wouldn't scream.
"He will let you go if you help us," I whispered to the girl, hoping she would trust me more. "We won't hurt you."
"She won't hurt you," Lavi corrected me and I could see the fear settle back into her eyes. We were playing good cop-bad cop. I had to admit it, the redhead's genius sometimes scared me, he always knew what to do in a split second. He would never miss the strategy. "I will kill you if you scream."
"She won't, she's not stupid," I said gently, plying along. "You don't want trouble, do you?" The girl shook her head vehemently and I waved at Lavi to let her go. He hesitated a little bit, for the sake of drama, but then released the girl.
"I'll do anything just please, don't hurt me," she begged desperately. Were we really that terrifying? No, it was him, he really did look dangerous in all black and with his eyepatch. I was just a girl, like always, nothing special.
"Can you tell us what the guards and the servers are wearing? We need a change of clothing," answered Lavi which made the girl nod so hard that I thought she would break her neck. She ran to a pile of clean clothes and pulled out a long, navy blue coat for Lavi and a simple black dress for me. After we received the clothing items, she wanted to leave and we both knew that could not happen. As always, Lavi was quick to pull her back from the door and hit her in the back of the neck. We laid her body on top of the laundry and quickly changed into our new covers. Even though Lavi, the gentleman, turned around so I could put the dress on privately, I knew he was watching me; I noticed myself taking a little longer than I had to which made me feel very embarrassed. I couldn't believe that I was one of those girls that completely lost their mind after a kiss. No, I was an Exorcist, I had to focus.
When we left the laundry room, we decided to go opposite ways to cover more ground. I followed the hallway all the way into the kitchen where one of the employees immediately gave me a tray of champagne and pushed me towards a door telling me to 'do my goddamn job'. Having no choice, I stepped out in the ballroom and decided to go check on Allen and Serena to kill some time before I go back to find Lavi. The tournament had already started, most people were sitting at the poker tables, the women beside their men. It was not hard to spot my friends in the crowd, thanks to Allen's unique white hair color. I almost started going towards them but my legs felt like they were glued to the floor, I almost couldn't believe my eyes. Serena was sitting next to Allen who was kissing her neck so passionately that I felt my face turn red. And his hand was in-between her legs! I mean, I knew this is what they were supposed to do, at least something like this, but seeing it was completely different. You could almost touch the sexual tension in the air around those two, it was both erotic and extremely inappropriate at the same time. However, it was also clever: the more scandalous they were, the less likely people were to notice Allen switching out the cards from the garter on her leg. Even though they were only doing their mission, I couldn't help but notice the extra time Allen spent to change those cards. He enjoyed it.
"Waitress, bring me champagne!" The harsh voice yanked me back into reality and I rushed over to their table to serve them. I was handing out the last glass, when suddenly the walls started shaking and I knew that Lavi was in trouble. I threw the tray onto the table and started running towards the source. There was no doubt in my mind that the Akumas made their move for the spear and Lavi was the only one to fend them off. Krory and Bookman were stationed outside, so even if they noticed the demons' attack, it still would take them a few minutes to find where to go.
Activating my Innocence, I ran down the same hallway where we had split up until I reached the storage room. When I busted through the door, I could immediately see Lavi battling with two Level 2 Akumas while he was simultaneously trying to evade the attacks of the Level 1 demons. I quickly summoned Mist Wind to take care of the low level ones and then rushed to join Lavi to help out with the other two. However, I had a feeling that this was not all and more were on the way. I could only hope that Krory and Bookman were on the way and that Allen and Serena realized that the tournament was needless now.
There was a steady income of Akumas, their numbers did not deplete. Thankfully, in the meantime the rest of the team arrived as well and we were slowly working our way through the hordes of demons. The spear was in a glass case in the middle of the room, so far untouched but we needed to end this battle desperately and secure the Innocence. If only we could get it out somehow, except we needed all the Exorcists to hold up the Akumas and protect Serena.
"Allen, where is Serena?" I jumped next Allen who just finished off a Level 2.
"She was behind me," he said, unhelpful. I could not see her anywhere in the room so I went to the hallway hoping that she was observing from there. Even though she couldn't fight, she would always stay close in case someone got hurt. She might have been cold and way too honest, but she did care about our safety. I didn't think she admitted that to even herself, but I knew. Suddenly, however, I heard a scream from the storage room and I got a very bad feeling. The Level 2 was holding Serena up by her hair, her body was hanging down helplessly.
"Let her go!" I yelled angrily and jumped towards her. The Akuma wasn't as stupid, he immediately raised its claws, ready to pierce through her body.
"I wouldn't do that if you don't want this pretty little thing to die," it replied, laughing at us. "Now, you will let us take the Innocence."
"Like hell we will!" Allen was furious, not only at the Akuma but at himself too, he couldn't protect Serena and she was with him tonight. He felt responsible. "Put her down and fight me fair!"
"Humans are always talking about being fair, it is so boring," the Akuma laughed again and dangled Serena's body in front of us. "Have to admit, I will probably kill her regardless."
"Do it," I heard Serena's voice, emotionless as always. "What are you waiting for?"
"Serena, no!" I screamed but it was too late. The Akuma had already pierced her body through with its claws and her painful scream filled the whole room. "Noo! Serena, no!"
Then the Akuma just threw her body aside like she was nothing and if it wasn't for Allen catching her, she would've crashed into the wall. He brought her to the side of the room and lowered her body onto his lap. Seeing her like that made my chest ache, she was so strong and stubborn that being weak and injured was a strange sight. I rushed to her and kneeled on her other side and took her hand in mine. Allen was holding her so tight his fingertips became white but I didn't say anything, I wasn't sure what I was seeing yet. One thing I did know, Allen decided that this girl, despite all of her anger and darkness, was worth our friendship. And I agreed.
"Serena, hold on," I begged her but she just smiled at me. I wanted to hit her in that moment, for her smile was her same old, cheeky grin.
"What are you… idiots doing here?" Her voice was husky and she spit up blood due to the efforts of talking so much. "Have you forgotten… about my Innocence?" As she said those last words her eyes closed and she lost consciousness. She was right though, we lost sight of what was real in the situation. We cared for her, so we didn't think twice to help her when she let herself get stabbed on purpose so she could get out of our way.
"I will stay with her." Bookman showed up next to us, taking the girl from Allen's lap. "She will be awake in a few minutes." I nodded and ran back onto the battle field, she was in good hands.
The fight was long and painful, we all suffered mild injuries but everyone was alive and moving. There were no more Akumas appearing out of nowhere but we still had to hurry just in case more were coming. I turned towards the glass casket that was protecting the Innocence but I couldn't believe what I saw: it was gone.
"Bookman, did you see where the spear went?" I was so worried and angry at myself that I allowed myself to get distracted. "And where is Serena?" I just noticed that she was gone as well but Bookman didn't seem too concerned which confused me a lot.
"She took the spear when she woke up, like I told her," he explained. "She should be back at the inn by now."
We didn't hesitate, we absolutely had to get out of there before the hotel's guards would come in. Surely, we made a lot of noise so the only reason why they haven't come in was because they were scared. I kicked a hole in the wall (sorry) and we ran out in to the night with me leading, I haven't deactivated my boots because I wanted to get back as fast as I could. We all ran through straight to our room once we got back, and as the Bookman predicted, Serena was already there. She was sitting on the bed with the spear on her lap, her eyes closed like she was sleeping. Her clothes were bloody on her stomach where the Akuma pierced her through but I couldn't tell if the blood was still fresh. Did she really heal that fast? I ran to her to check it but when I tried to take the spear from her, her hands stopped me.
"You can't touch it," she said, finally opening her eyes. I just realized how pale she was which wasn't a good sign, she must've lost a lot of blood. "You are not a parasite type."
The Innocence was probably so raw in that spear that it only let another Innocence touch it. Since hers was in her blood, she was pretty much like a walking, breathing Innocence, so it allowed her to come in contact with it without harm. Bookman knew that, that's why he sent Serena to steal it while the Akumas were distracted; it really was genius. I still wondered how she managed to do it so well that absolutely no one noticed. Were we really that distracted?
"Are you alright?" I was really worried about her and I barely even knew her. That was so like me though, caring about people after a short amount of time. I really thought she deserved my friendship though, I knew that there was so much good in her heart. This mission could not have succeeded without her, even though she definitely didn't want to do it. Well, actually, it didn't seem like she minded Allen's hungry touches at all. "Allen, take this spear."
"I will be fine. I know exactly what my body can withstand, they made sure of that," she said and laid down once the spear was gone from her lap. Right, it wasn't surprising that they would want to test the limits of her body's regenerating ability; I couldn't even imagine the torture she had to withstand. I knew what it was like to grow up at the Order too well and I had seen what they were capable of, it is only because of my brother that headquarters stopped experimenting.
"Everyone, get out, she needs rest," I ordered in my strictest voice and they obeyed. When the door closed, I let out a tired sigh and sat down on the side of her bed. She looked at me but didn't say anything, she was waiting for me to spit it out. "How was the poker tournament?"
"Che." She of course knew what I meant, I didn't even try to conceal that I was teasing her. Sometimes she really reminded me of Kanda, I bet they would get along well. So they would probably just ignore each other, that is what getting along would well would mean to them.
"You could have a future…with him," I said but I soon regretted it, her eyes were filled with anger as she looked at me. Of course, she wasn't like me, she wouldn't like Allen but I still couldn't ignore what I saw tonight. There was too much tension not to notice and I had a feeling that I didn't know something about these two.
"None of us have a future," she answered sharply and tuned her back to me. Serena was so sure that things were going to end badly that she kept pushing all of us away. I wondered what she would be like in a world without Innocence, Akumas, and Exorcists. Would she be happy?
Don't go easy on me. Thanks for reading! :)