Sam was on his way outside when he noticed the small hospital chapel. Peering around the edge of the door and finding the room empty, he slumped into the nearest pew.

He had only been there a moment when the door opened behind him. When nobody sat down, Sam turned to find Castiel standing guard, seemingly more agitated than was his normal demeanor.

"You might as well sit, Cas."

"I have no need to sit."

"If you insist on hovering over me it will make me less uncomfortable if you sit."

"Very well."

Castiel perched on the bench beside him and Sam might have laughed if his heart hadn't been so heavy. No one but Castiel could make the act of sitting seem so awkward.

From the corner of his eye, Sam noticed the angel pulling at a lose thread on the sleeve of his trenchcoat.

"Something on your mind, Cas?"

"Why do you ask?" The thread continued to unravel.

"You seemed a little, um, preoccupied." Sam dug in his pocket, extracting a knife. Reaching over he cut off the offending piece of string.

"Are you praying?"

The question caught Sam off guard. "You mean, was I praying before you interrupted me?"

Castiel nodded, rubbing his hands against his knees in a nervous gesture.

He's really picking up human traits. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was upset.

"I can't pray, Cas." Sam shuffled his feet, embarrassed at the confession.

"But you used to?"

"Not in a long time."

"What made you stop?" Castiel was studying him intently with his icy gaze.

"Do you know me, Cas? Hello, demon blood! Started the apocalypse, trusted a demon, betrayed my brother. Should I go on? Wouldn't it be a little presumptuous to assume God would listen to anything I have to say?" Sam's voice became soft. "Even if it's just to ask him to save my brother?"

"Do you know the story of the apostle Paul?"

Sam searched his mind for the somewhat familiar tale. "I think so."

"His name wasn't always Paul, you know. He started out as Saul and he committed horrible acts against God's followers, even having them murdered for their beliefs."

Sam sat in silence, unsure where the angel was going with his impromptu bible lesson.

"Do you know he's considered a saint now?"

"Should I be taking notes?"

"Sam, what I'm telling you is one of the most notorious bad guys in the history of the world turned into one of the most fervent followers of God. If he can be forgiven, why do you think you can't?"

Sam lowered his eyes, studying his hands. "Because I can't forgive myself."

"Dean has forgiven you."

"How do you know?"

"I can see into his heart."

Sam's stomach was in knots. He wanted nothing more than to be forgiven by his brother, to have that unwavering trust again. But he had destroyed it the day he'd turned his back on Dean and left him on that motel room floor. And although Dean was trying, it was never going to be the same. If Dean died, it would always be because of Sam and the horrible events he had set into motion and Sam didn't know how he was supposed to live with that. It was too much.

Sam swallowed hard. "I thought we were hidden from all angels."

"You are. But when you're standing right in front of me, I can see what you're feeling. I know you loathe yourself for the things you've done. I warned Dean of your despair the night Jo and Ellen died. I also know how your brother feels about you, how much he wants you to forgive yourself. And I also know how much of his own pain he has pushed aside while trying to get through to you these last few weeks."

Sam immediately felt guilty. Dean had been suffering just as much, if not more, than he had. But as usual, he ignored his own feelings in favor of Sam's.

What kind of brother am I?

"I am not telling you these things to make you feel worse."

"Then why are you telling me?"

"So you will be aware. Dean cannot shoulder this burden alone."

"Neither can I." Sam twisted his hands in his lap. "What if he doesn't make it? I can't do this without him, Cas. I can't. He's the only reason I've held on this long."

"Then perhaps you should start praying."

"How can you be so sure God is even out there?"

"Because I know what I saw on that mountain. It isn't my place to question why or how my Father does things. It's only for me to obey."

Sam gave a small chuckle. "You and Dean are more alike than you know."

Castiel smiled. "So I've been told."

Castiel placed his hand on the youngest Winchester's shoulder as Sam bowed his head, awkwardly folding his hands and resting his elbows on his knees. Castiel assumed the boy would pray in silence but after clearing his throat, Sam began to pray out loud.

"Um, God, I know I haven't talked to you in awhile…."

Sam paused and Castiel squeezed his shoulder in what he hoped was a sign of reassurance.

"We need your help, God. Dean needs your help. My brother has given everything he has to this fight. He's always sacrificed himself for everyone, regardless of who they were and he's always done everything he could for me."

Sam's voice was thick with tears.

"He's been more than my brother. He's been my mother, my father, my protector and best friend. I don't know what's going to happen, God, but I know I can't do this without him so can you please, wherever you are, please take a minute to consider my brother. He needs you. And I know he doesn't really believe in you, but I do and I really hope it's enough for the both of us. Um, that's all, I guess."

"Amen." Castiel whispered.

"Oh, yeah, uh, amen."

Sam was quiet for a moment longer and then asked "Do you think he heard me?"

Castiel pulled Dean's amulet from his coat pocket and held it out to the youngest Winchester. Sam gave him a questioning stare but grasped the amulet in his hand. He let it go with a surprised yelp.

"It's hot."

"Yes."

"Does this mean……"

"I think it means God heard you and he's closer than we think."

Sam's phone began to ring. He fished it out of his jeans while Castiel carefully placed the amulet back in his pocket. When Sam ended the call, his eyes were glistening with barely restrained tears.

"That was Bobby. He said Dean's out of surgery and they think he's going to be alright. Said the doctors are baffled."

Sam's face lit into a grin, the first one Castiel could remember seeing in a long time.

"God's really here, isn't he?"

"Yes, Sam, I believe he is."

A/N: One more to go! Probably just a very short one, more like an epilogue.