Team Obnoxious: Pauline, Jojora, Flurrie, Ms. Mowz, Starlow, Luvbi, Goombario, Fly Guy, Blooper, Waluigi
Team Idiot: Toadette, Dixie, Birdo, Watt, Sushie, Lakilulu, Boshi, Petey, Wiggler, Kooper
"...Welcome back to Mario Party Deluxe, the awfully cringeworthy show that somehow got picked up by some idiotic TV company. We have received 19 votes from the poll voting and the anonymous reviews so thanks a lot for giving this crappy show more attention!" Bowser grumbled.
"Bowser, if you hate this show so much, then why the hell are you here?" Birdo asked.
"Because I'm getting paid to host and I have nothing better to do," The Koopa King blatantly answered.
"You could always try kidnapping Princess Peach again like you do every other week! Who knows, maybe this time you will keep her forever and ever and ever!" Fly Guy cheered.
"Did you guys know that I *hiccup* totally bought a bunch of Peach posters when I was younger? Yeah I would always *hiccup* stare at them for hours on end, wanting to just have her pop out and hold me and never let me goooooooooooooo!" Kooper shouted, still drunk as a skunk.
"Ugh, I definitely prefer the boring Kooper a lot better. Drunk Kooper is stupid and annoying as hell," Sushie spat.
"Moving on to the results now before any more 'vulgar' comments are said which will undoubtedly lead to fights and blood and whatnot. The people that received zero votes were Starlow, Blooper, and Goombario," Rosalina spoke.
"Wow! Only three people this time. I guess I was just lucky...or maybe people felt sorry for me for being a victim of racism by Mr. Zappy Stache over there!" Goombario yelled.
"Are you saying that Waluigi is a racist!?" Wiggler gasped.
"IT'S NOTHING! JUST FORGET ABOUT IT!" Waluigi cried.
"Looks like the both of us made it through easily again. Say, do you wanna be in an...um...alliance or something?" Blooper shyly asked.
"An alliance? Sure! I think it would be better this way since all the other girls are trying to pull off each other's hair and you're the only one I completely trust!" Starlow giggled.
"R-R-Really? You only trust m-me!?" Blooper's smile grew incredibly wide.
"Excuse me while I try not to BARF!" Pauline gagged at the two.
"The next contestants that only received one vote were Jojora, Flurrie, and Waluigi," Rosalina said.
"HA! What were you saying about being the victim of racism, Dumbario?" Waluigi cackled.
"Hooray! I am very pleased to know that my screentime won't be stopping anytime soon! Cameramen, please keep your focus on me as much as possible, okay? Thank you dearies!" Flurrie annoyingly said.
"The next contestant that received just two votes was Ms. Mowz," Rosalina added.
"YES! I have been given another chance to find my sack of stolen loot! Praise the stars and any other kind of god that may be watching over us!" Ms. Mowz sighed in relief.
"Speaking of stars, does anyone know Misstar's phone number? I gave her my Pokemon Black game two years ago, but the pink-washed starfish still hasn't bothered to give it back!" Petey wailed.
"No one cares. The next contestant that got 3 votes is Luvbi," Bowser said.
"Hmph! Must be a bunch of jealous middle and lower classers! I mean, who wouldn't want to lay in a pool filled with hundreds of coins every day? Now that is paradise!" Luvbi laughed. The audience rolled their eyes at her.
"The last two contestants are Pauline and Fly Guy. One of you received 7 votes while the other got 4. Personally, I wish the both of you would just leave since you're both morons, but alas, it just has to be one," Bowser spat.
"What!? How the hell did I get in the bottom two with this freak? There's no way I got the most votes!" Pauline gasped.
"NO! I CANNOT LEAVE YET! I STILL HAVEN'T FOUND OUT WHO IS THE MYSTERY BURGLAR OF MYSTERIOUSNESS!" Fly Guy cried.
"Shut your face! You're not the one who's leaving, Pauline is! She received the 7 votes! Peace out loser!" Bowser laughed.
"WHAT!? NO! THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT! HOW COULD I HAVE GOTTEN SO MANY VOTES ALL OF A SUDDEN!? THIS (BLEEP)ING COMPETITION IS RIGGED! I DEMAND A RECOUNT!" Pauline angrily screamed.
"Hahahaha! Serves you right, that's what happens when your ego becomes enormous Pauline! Have fun in the elimination chamber of death!" Jojora cackled.
"(BLEEP) YOU, YOU STUPID (BLEEP)! (BLEEP) ALL OF YOU!" Pauline swore as she was taken away by Bowser's clubbas.
"Well, that definitely escalated quickly," Boshi commented.
"Fantastic. The hotness factor of this show just decreased by 50%," Waluigi grumbled.
Team Obnoxious - Girls' Hotel Room
"Since both of the mega bitches of the show is officially gone, we are finally able to achieve more freedom without any harsh input. So, I officially declare myself as the leader of this team. I fully believe that I have the capabiities, the stride, and perfect attitude that can take this team to new heights and avoid any more eliminations!" Jojora declared.
"The perfect attitude? Sweetie, I'm sorry, but have you even seen yourself on TV yet? You're no better than those two hookers that just left!" Luvbi yelled.
"Did I ask you to speak, you ugly wench!?" Jojora snapped, but covered her mouth when she realized what she said. "Err, I mean, uhh, well, who else can you imagine being a leader? Do you really think someone like Ms. Mowz could lead the team? She's a freaking klepto for crying out loud! A team leader should be able to control themselves from stealing people's belongings."
"I would be more than glad to lead the team, to be honest! But only on one condition, you all MUST give me your hair brushes, perfume, and scrunchies!" Ms. Mowz snickered.
"Hmmm, she does have a point though. This team has definitely started to fall apart lately and it's time to make a recovery. I'm all for Jojora being leader if it means getting us back on track!" Starlow said.
"Thank you! That's one vote for me. Anyone else?" The blue fairy asked.
"I would be honored to vote for you my dear, but I have to say, your language is quite vulgar at times and a leader should not be a pottymouth! It would give the rest of the team a bad impression, especially me since I am the most popular contestant here obviously!" Flurrie said.
"Oh please! You're no more popular than- I mean...okay, I admit, I can have quite a mouth at times, but...if I were to go without swearing at least until the merge, then would you guys vote for me?" Jojora proposed.
"Pah! You wouldn't last a day without swearing! What a joke!" Luvbi pointed and laughed at her.
"Alright then. We'll vote you as team leader, but the minute you swear, you're off! I think we all can agree to this, right?" Ms. Mowz smirked.
"Sounds fair enough to me!" Starlow added.
"Mmhmm, I shall hop on this tiny bandwagon to make Jojora leader!" Flurrie praised.
"Fine then. We'll just see how long you can last, leader. This will be quite an interesting event," Luvbi sneered. Jojora gulped, knowing that she literally put herself in a difficult situation.
Team Obnoxious - Boys' Hotel Room
"Whew! I dodged a HUMONGOUS bullet right there! I thought I was going to die and be reincarnated as a female Toad!" Fly Guy shrieked.
"Um, I'm pretty sure that you won't die once you get eliminated. That would be illegal and quite horrifying!" Blooper said.
"If they don't die, then where do they go once they're out? A torture chamber? A pit full of angry monkeys? A room filled with Justin Bieber clones? The possibilites are endless!" Waluigi purposely exaggerated.
"Oh please shut up. They obviously go to some other part of the hotel and wait there till the game is over," Goombario spat.
"How about you shut up!? You're always running your mouth like you know every damn thing! There's a reason why the MarioWiki forums voted you as the second worst partner in the Paper Mario series!" Waluigi countered.
Goombario sniffled. "Don't you dare bring that up! I've already been told numerous times how everyone over there hates me so much and it really put a huge dent on my self-esteem!"
"Well then, I suggest you simmer down for once unless your face wants a dent in it!" Waluigi threatened.
"Hey guys, I figured out who has been stealing stuff!" Fly Guy announced.
"REALLY? WHO!?" The others shouted at the same time.
"Oh, it's no one. I just wanted you both to stop arguing since it's really giving me a headache and I can't be bothered to take seven Ibuprofen pills to make it go away," Fly Guy admitted.
"Oh...I still wanna know who stole my 3DS. That thing was expensive! I have a feeing it was that Boshi guy...just the fact that he always wears sunglasses, even indoors, gives me the creeps!" Blooper shivered.
Team Idiot - Girls' Hotel Room
"Hey, does anyone know why my reflection always knows how to copy my every move? Like, how does it know what I'm even going to do? That is so weird! And if I try to lick the mirror, wouldn't that mean I would be licking myself because if so, then that would be sooooo gross!" Watt asked while making weird facial movements in the mirror.
"...How did she get past the auditions again?" Birdo rolled her eyes.
"In other news, we're making a pretty great comeback right now. If we keep this streak up, the other team will be no more by the merge!" Dixie schemed.
"And what's also good is that those two devils are gone which gives us more of a chance to take them down!" Toadette added.
"Yeah! And we can make them confess to see if they stole my makeup kit or not, which I'm currently still crying about by the way!" Lakilulu complained.
"Will you shut up about your stupid makeup already!? No more how much you put on, you'll always be the ugliest person in the room!" Sushie roared while munching on some cheese puffs.
"Oh yeah!? WELL AT LEAST I'M NOT A FATSO!" Lakilulu yelled and smacked Sushie's bag of cheese puffs away.
The fish gasped in terror as all the precious cheese puffs fell onto the dirty floor. Sushie angrily growled at the stupid lakitu and squirted a huge amount of water that drenched Lakilulu. All the other girls laughed at her unfortunate event.
"EEEEEEEEKKKKK! I AM BEYOND SOAKED AND THIS WATER IS FREEZING! SOMEONE PLEASE GET ME A TOWEL!" Lakilulu squealed.
"...So back to more important stuff, this 'stealer' is going to become a major problem later on because if something of MINE was stolen, you can bet that there's going to be hell to pay," Dixie said.
"I have an idea, right before we leave to do the challenge, let's put something of value out in the hallway. Then, since we have one more player than the other team, one of us could sit out, come back here, and spy on the item so we could see who comes and snatches it!" Birdo said.
"OOH! Can I stay behind and spy? I wanna finish up the rest of my cheese puffs and I really don't feel like doing anything else to be honest..." Sushie spoke.
"Errr...you do realize the rest of your cheese puffs are on the floor, right?" Toadette raised a brow.
"Yeah. Your point?" Sushie asked back. Everyone else made grossed out expressions.
"Okay fine, you can do it! But we'll need someone's belongings to put as a trap...oh Lakilulu! Do you have anything of yours you consider to be valuable?" Dixie asked with a smirk.
Team Idiot - Boys' Hotel Room
Kooper was heard in the nearby bathroom puking his brains out since his system was weak against alcohol.
"Errrrrgggghhhh...oh my god this is worse than the time that I drank lemonade mixed with milk on that stupid dare...BLAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Kooper puked again and started to hysterically sob. "OH MY GOD, WHAT IS THAT!? I THINK I'M GONNA THROW UP AGAIN JUST BY SEEING THAT!"
Petey covered his ears and rolled on the floor. "Aaaaagggggghhhhh! Make the disgusting vomit noises stop! Gotta find a happy place, GOTTA FIND A HAPPY PLACE!"
"You just HAD to make Kooper intoxicated, didn't you Boshi!? Why do you have to cause such trouble?" Wiggler cried.
"Oh hush up! I just wanted him to liven up a bit more. Was that so wrong, trying to have a little bit of fun?" Boshi snarled.
"Yes it is actually, considering he's on our team and if he's wasted, then he might get himself or possibly the whole team screwed over!" Wiggler argued.
"Boohoo. So sad. One player being drunk doesn't mean the entire team is in jeopardy. Quit being a drama queen," Boshi retorted.
"You know, it's really not a good idea to tick me off. I think you've already seen how I become when I go into rage mode so I doubt you would want that to happen to you, would you?" Wiggler smirked.
"Is that suppose to be a threat, Wiggler? It would do you good to not make enemies with me. I can make the rest of your days here a living nightmare if I really wanted to. Don't even try it," Boshi responded smugly. The two glared at each other for the longest time.
"Just great! First we have a vomiting koopa and now we have a new rivalry! What could possibly be next? A killer unicorn?" Petey sighed.
"Gee, Mario and Luigi have been in the hospital longer than I expected. I really hope their injuries don't end up being worse than we first thought..." Rosalina spoke.
"I do. The Mushroom Kingdom can survive for a while without those two nimrods running around and stomping the crap out of my servants," Bowser protested.
"Oh please, enough with the negative talk already! Have you ever gone a day without speaking something bad about someone? Do you really have that low of a self-esteem that you have to constantly bring down other people especially when it's highly unnecessary?" Rosalina frustratingly scolded.
"Well well well, aren't we being a bit judgmental today? Just mind your own business you freaking Mary Sue, I can do whatever the hell I want," Bowser spat and stuck out his tongue.
"Ugh, why on earth did the producers hire you out of all the people in the city to be the backup host? I imagine you must've threatened them to do it or something of the matter..." Rosalina groaned.
"Something like that!" Bowser winked. The contestants came out on stage and the audience wildly clapped and cheered for them.
"Welcome back to Mario Party Deluxe! The number of remaining contestants are officially in the 10's now. Ms. Mowz, how do you currently feel now that the competition is likely going to become much more difficult from here on out?" Rosalina spoke to the klepto like an interviewer.
"Well, I certainly feel that I may just be on a downward path to a life of depression due to the fact that I have yet to find my sack of stolen stuff which makes going on the hardest thing I've ever had to endure!" Ms. Mowz dramatically spoke then broke down in tears.
"Such a tragic story! Where are some tissues when you need them!?" Petey also started to sob.
"Hey wait a second! We're missing a contestant here...where's that fat fish chick at?" Bowser asked.
"Oh, she volunteered to sit out this one and that's okay because we have one more player than the other team so we're totally not breaking the rules!" Toadette nervously answered.
"HUH!? No, we can't do that! We need to have Kooper sit out, he's having a hangover right now!" Wiggler cried.
"Heeeeyyy...why are you all spinning? Did the stage turn into an amusement park ride?" Kooper spoke very slowly and tumbled to the floor.
"Oh, he'll be fine! Let's just get on with the game already so we can win once again!" Boshi groaned.
"For once, I agree with a contestant! Let the mini-game randomizer commence! This one is going to be from Mario Party 7," Bowser said. The drumroll sound came on again and then the words "BUMPER TO BUMPER" appeared on the back screen.
"This is what you will be playing! Here are the rules, you will all be placed in bumper cars and your goal is to bump into the opponent's bumper and try to make them fall off the platform. Whichever team eliminates all the players on the other team or whichever team has the most remaining players at the end of the time limit will win the game," Rosalina explained.
"Sounds like my kind of game!" Birdo smirked and cracked her knuckles.
"Now get the hell out of here!" Bowser roared and pulled on the rope that released the trapdoor and sent the players falling into the abyss. They all then landed in bumper cars that was on a large platform, above an even bigger abyss.
"First things first...Blooper! You're straight across from Kooper so you're gonna bump into him until he falls off the platform! He's too hungover to make an effort so you should have no problem getting rid of him. Waluigi and Luvbi, go for Birdo and Boshi, as those two are the most aggressive on the other team. Flurrie, you're the fattest one on the team so you're gonna go for Petey so you won't be as overpowered by him as much as the rest of us would due to his size. Starlow will go for Toadette, Goombario will go for Watt, Fly Guy will go for Wiggler, Ms. Mowz will go for Lakilulu, and I will go for Dixie because she's a humongous sl- I mean...yeah," Jojora instructed.
"And why should we listen to you exactly? Let us do our own thing!" Goombario objected.
"Because I am your new Team Leader and my way is the best way to obtain victory, which we most definitely need at this point!" Jojora responded.
"Team Leader? When the hell was this decision made?" Waluigi asked.
"All of us girls find it to be the right choice to nominate Jojora. Even if you four guys wanted to vote for someone else, we would outnumber you, so deal," Ms. Mowz stated.
"Whatever helps us not lose this time!" Blooper gulped.
"START!" Yelled the announcer.
"EAT MY DUST!" Boshi roared and rammed into Waluigi. The stickman screamed at the sudden hit but managed to recover and ram into him back. Boshi growled and then floored it and rammed into Waluigi so hard that they both sped to the edge and fell off.
"Hey Birdo! Are you so poor that you can't afford better makeup or cosmetic surgery to make you look like an actual female?" Luvbi yelled.
"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME!? YOU (BLEEP)! I AM GOING TO CRUSH YOU!" Birdo roared and rammed as hard as possible into Luvbi, which almost pushed her over the edge but she regained control, circled around Birdo, and rammed into her, successfully pushing her off the edge and into the pit.
"Ugh...hey...what am I suppose to be doing again?" Kooper groaned, struggling to focus on his surroundings.
"Sorry about this!" Blooper yelled right before he hit Kooper and easily managed to ram the hungover koopa off the platform.
"Hey, go find someone to ram your ugly bumper car into!" Lakilulu cried as Ms. Mowz kept ramming her bumper into the lakitu's.
"I'd rather have an ugly bumper car than actually BE ugly! Mwahahaha!" Ms. Mowz evilly laughed. Lakilulu growled, swerved, and managed to quickly turn around. Ms. Mowz was too busy trying to sound evil while laughing so she didn't pay attention in front of her and accidentally drove off the platform.
"OH (BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP)!" The klepto's voice echoed as she fell.
"Prepare to meet your maker, Watt!" Goombario threatened and rammed into her car.
"Yowch! Goombario, that SO was not nice! You could've totally bruised my bumper!" Watt cried and hit him back.
"So what? We're not gonna use it at all after this game!" Goombario replied and hit her back harder than before.
"But still, my bumper is super pretty and I would totally decorate it with my girly accessories if I could," Watt said and hit him back again.
"I just told you that you can't take it with you after we're done! Do you have the shortest attention span in the world or what!?" Goombario started to get frustrated.
"What's an attention span? Is that a subject in school?" Watt asked.
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! THAT'S IT, I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE OF THIS!" Goombario screeched and drove off the platform all by himself.
"OOF! Oh my, you certainly have a lot of power in your hits you lovely, enormous flower you!" Flurrie semi-complimented after being hit by Petey.
"Oh, that didn't hurt too much did it? I just wanna make sure because I'm a little bit of a pacifist," Petey said.
"No no of course not! I just wanted to know something though, why do you throw up mud from your mouth? Isn't that just a tad illogical?" Flurrie asked.
"Actually, you see, a long time ago I-AAAAAAAHHHHH!" Petey suddenly screamed, being rammed into by Blooper and off the platform.
"Oh my! How rude of you to interrupt our fabulous conversation like that!" Flurrie pouted.
"Uhhh you do realize you're suppose to hit the enemy and not talk with them, right?" Blooper pointed out.
"CAN YOU HANDLE MY BUMPER OF RADICALLY AWESOME FIERCENESS!?" Fly Guy cheered and rammed into Wiggler with it.
"OW! Okay, first off, that bumper is hardly radical or awesome. Secondly, I can handle you! You're not that frightening!" Wiggler yelled and bumped into Fly Guy extra hard, sending him very close to the edge.
"Ouchies! Well, if you don't think I'm frightening...then let me show you what is under my mask!" Fly Guy smirked and lifted his mask up.
Wiggler widened his eyes and screamed like he was about to be killed. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOD! MY EYES! WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSE TO BE EXACTLY!?"
While he was distracted, Fly Guy rammed into the caterpillar while laughing like a freak and sent him off the platform.
Meanwhile, Toadette and Starlow were going at each other, but because the two weren't fond of fighting brutally, it was just a series of weak hits and rams between them.
"Hey, you're pretty good at this! You must work out and train a lot!" Starlow complimented.
"Thanks but I don't work out at all. I'm pretty weak to be honest but I can run super fast and that's all I'm fine with," Toadette replied.
"Oh I'm the same way too, except I can't run fast at all...I'm a bit useless to be honest..." Starlow sighed.
"LESS TALKING, MORE RAMMING!" Jojora yelled while fighting with Dixie.
"Oh that's right! Sorry, but we need this win desperately!" Starlow said and rammed into Toadette. Luvbi came out of nowhere and hit Toadette as well, sending her off the edge. The Nimbi gave the star sprite a thumbs up.
"YA! Someone sure is aggressive today! What's wrong Jojora, still not over the fact that I revealed some stupid and useless bit on TV?" Dixie spat, swerving around and attempting to hit the fairy.
"I actually am over it, but the point of the matter is, is that I just really don't like you," Jojora harshly stated and side-rammed into Dixie.
"The feeling is very much mutual, sweetie. NOW GET OUT OF MY FACE!" Dixie roared and rammed into Jojora with fierce power, sending her further away towards the edge.
"Aaaaaaahhhhh! (BLEEP)!" Jojora swore, stopping herself before she fell off.
"Lakilulu and Watt, get her now!" Dixie commanded.
"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! SAY SAYONARA YOU BARF-FACE!" Lakilulu screamed, charging towards Jojora with Watt.
"Eeeeeeeeekkkk! A mosquito just flew on to my forehead! Get it off me, I don't wanna die!" Watt cried, losing control of her bumper and bumped into Lakilulu, sending her off course and crashed into Dixie, making the two girls fly off the platform.
"Wow...um...okay then!" Jojora said in surprise and relief.
"FINISH!" Yelled the announcer.
"Wait a second...we did it! YES! We finally won once again!" Blooper cheered.
"Simply marvelous! Looks like your plan did manage to work after all, dearie!" Flurrie said.
"Oh my gosh I am so happy I wanna tell everybody starting with my mom, my dad, my sister, my cousin, my newphew, my Yoshi plushie, my Pikachu plushie, my pet raccoon..." Starlow annoyingly listed.
The remaining people were transported back to the stage room.
"By some miracle, Team Obnoxious wins after being complete failures three times in a row! How about that?" Bowser laughed.
"Ugh...I don't believe this. They completely overpowered us. I should've figured something like that would happen after losing so much..." Birdo grunted.
"And we're losing another player...that's just too much drama for me to handle!" Petey sobbed.
"UGH! And we would've won if Watt hadn't freaked out over some tiny bug! Thanks a lot!" Lakilulu growled.
"Well excuse me for not wanting to die!" Watt cried.
"You can't die from a freaking mosquito bite you little...ugh...like I said, it's SO not worth it!" Dixie pouted.
"Alright viewers, it's your turn to vote off one person from Team Idiot. See you next time!" said Rosalina.
EOC.