When Charlie woke next his head was pounding and his throat hurt. He moved his arm to wipe at his eyes only to have the I.V. tug his arm roughly. He gasped.

"Don't move to much, your still hooked up to a lot of stuff."

The voice was to his left. The voice he would know in a room crowded full of people.

Charlie turned his head to meet the tired eyes of one Ian Edgerton.

"Your not dead." So yeah. Probably not the smartest thing to say to your recently discovered alive boyfriend. But at the moment that was all he had.

Ian kept his gaze on Charlie then slowly let out the breath he had been holding. "I'm so sorry Charlie. I..." His voice died off and he turned his head slightly away from Charlie. But not before the younger man saw his eyes glistening.

Charlie sat quietly for a time. Letting the other man gather his thoughts and what he wanted to say. Finally ,after what felt like a lifetime, Ian turned back to him."I know I owe you a lot of explanations, apologies. Hell, I'll get on my knees and beg for your forgiveness if that's what you want. It will never be enough. I'm so, so sorry Charlie."

Charlie let the words wash over him. He knew he should be thrilled over the fact that his boyfriend was in fact alive and well in front of him. And he was. He also knew he had been lied too. And played.

"I was bait." the words came out more harsh then he had intended and he saw the guilt in the other man' eye as he said it. "You knew he wouldn't let me live. You knew he would come for me. You faked your death to lure him out. You used me. You used me." the last words barely a whisper but Ian heard them. Those words spoken from the man he loves hurt him more then any bullet he had ever taken.

"No, Charlie I-" Charlie cut him off.

"You let me think you were dead for three days Ian. I thought I lost you!" His voice raising. "I thought that was it. And here you are telling me you didn't use me to lure out the man I though had killed you! You fucking USED ME IAN!" The machines Charlie was hooked up too started going haywire at his outburst. Expecting a nurse to come in Charlie forced himself to calm down. Surprisingly no one came in. He closed his eyes slowly breathed in and out. When he opened them Ian was indeed kneeling beside his bed. He looked like he wanted to reach out to him but was holding himself back.

"Please Charlie. Please let me explain." His body was slightly shaking. Like he was barely holding it together. It was in that instant that the thought crossed Charlie' mind. He had been through hell these past three days. He had no idea what Ian had been though. Judging by the look of him, He wasn't much better off.

"Please Charlie. If you still want me to go I will, I swear but please let me explain."

Charlie could handle a lot of things. The broken voice of his boyfriend begging was not one of them. "Ok." he said softly.

Ian closed his eyes briefly then opened them again and look back at Charlie. "The director called us-"

"Get off the floor Ian." Charlie said. The smallest of smiles playing at his lips. Ian nodded once and pulled the chair from the corner closer to the bed. Once he got situated he started again. "The director called us into his office the day we all me at your place. That's why we were late coming back." He proceeded to tell Charlie the whole story of the director' plan to lure Masterson out of hiding. Faking his death. Everything had been planned to the T. Everyone had been aware of it. Everyone but Charlie.

"Don and I were against it from the second he spoke of it Charlie. We never wanted to put you in danger or use you like that. I swear. But we didn't have any other options. I didn't want to keep you locked away from your life with him still out there. I knew he would come again eventually. I was still opposed to it when don said it really was our only option." He took a deep breath. "If your brother hadn't told me he believed it would work, I never could have gone through with it. Charlie, I know you may never forgive me for what I put you through. And I deserve that. I deserve for you to hate me. But please, " he sobbed slightly, "Please know I only did it to keep you safe. To get rid of him permanently so you could go on living again."

Charlie sat there slightly awed over the story he had just heard. So Don knew. Of course he had known. He had known as he held him in the hospital. He knew none of this was to potentially hurt him. Was actually done with all good intentions. But it still killed him inside over what he had been through and over what he had thought he had lost.

"You killed me." He spoke the words softly to the other man. Ian felt the knife in his heart twist just a little bit more. "I lost it when they told me you were gone." He looked away to wipe at his eyes. Taking care of the tube in his arm.

"I know." The words spoken just barely loud enough to reach him. He snapped his head back to look at Ian, noting he also had tears in his eyes. Wither he was unaware of them or he didn't care he want sure. "They had me in the security room when they told you. When you collapsed-" his voice broke and he had to take a few shaky breaths. "I almost lost it then . I almost ran out of that room to you just to hold you and tell you it was a dumb plan and I couldn't go through with it. Then I thought about how that bullet could have landed in you. How you had already been shot once by him, and I knew I couldn't risk it. I had to stay hidden." Tears falling freely down his cheeks. "I saw it all. When you left, you took my heart with you. And I lost it too."

*3 days ago*

Don walked into the security room in time to see a cell phone fly past his head. Closing the door he turned only to be grabbed roughly by a very upset sniper. "You tell me this will work don! You tell me I didn't just break the heart of the only person I have ever loved over a plan that might not succeed! YOU TELL ME DON!"

As he yelled his voice broke more and more until he broke off sobbing all together. Clutching Don' shirt he fell to the floor, unaware that Don had wrapped his arms around him to help bring him down.

"I love him Don! I love him and I just-" he broke off again as another sob escaped him and he cried in the other agents shoulder.

Don continued to hold him. " I know you love him Ian. That's why you know we had to do this. It killed me to put by brother through this." He grabbed Ian by the sides of his face and brought it up to look him in the eye. "But it would kill me even more to have to bury my brother Ian. I can't lose him either." Don knew he had a few tears fall but it was the very least of his concerns at the moment.

Ian nodded his head slightly. No, he wouldn't survive putting Charlie in the ground. They would have to put another plot right next to his for him. But he knew he might still lose the man he loved after this. "He might not forgive me Don. Oh god!" He closed his eyes again and cried softly at the thought of this plan working but still losing Charlie.

"No, Ian. Don't." He brought him back up more roughly then intended but needed to get his attention. "Don't think about that. We need to keep Charlie alive right now. I don't know what will happen after this is done. But I know I can't do this without you. I need you to help me protected my baby brother and to bring that son of a bitch down!"

The last word came out as a growl. Ian' eyes widened slightly but Don' words had the desired effect. He knew what he had to do. In the meantime, he could only pray Charlie would forgive him of this.

*present*

Charlie was now crying softly on his bed. As he thought before he didn't know what these past three days had been like for Ian. He now knew Ian was in just as much pain as him. If not more.

Charlie had thought he had lost Ian. But Ian had had to knowingly hurt Charlie for this plan to work. And the pain and stress of that was evident on the man' face and in his eyes.

Slowly he felt his anger for his betrayal leave his body. Replaced by the love of the man beside him and the knowledge that he was still there. Their plan had worked. And they were now free to live their lives with each other.

"If you ever put me through anything like that again Ian Edgerton, I will personally end you! You have no idea the things I could do to you with numbers!" Charlie spoke to Ian in a voice declaring that he will not be left in the dark again. If something like this happened to them again, he would be by Ian' side.

Ian slowly got up from his chair and made his way to the bed. He breathed out a sigh of relief when Charlie held out his hand for him to take. He took it as he sat on the edge of the bed and brought it to his lips, kissing each finger tenderly.

"I will never be without you again. I couldn't survive it." he brought Charlie' hand and held it to his face. Charlie brought his other hand to place it on his thigh.

" I meant what I said. I'll get on my knees and beg you to forgive me. Everyday for the rest of my life if that's what it takes. I love you Charlie, I love you and I want to be with you forever. If you'll have me."
Charlie closed his eyes, knowing he was going to lose his battle to keep the water works off. Here was Ian, the strongest and bravest man he had ever known, begging him for forgiveness. Begging him not to leave him. He couldn't take it.

Opening his eyes to look at the man who had had his heart from almost the beginning, he tightened his grip on the hand that Ian held to his face and brought him closer.

With only an inch between them he said softly to Ian, "Forever is all I want." before bringing their lips together.

Ian wrapped his arms around Charlie, minding the wires, and kissed him back with the fervor of a dying man being given a second chance at life. And to him, that is what this is. Never again will he be without Charlie.

They kissed passionately, almost as thought they were afraid that if they pulled away from each other they would wake up and discover this had all been a dream and they were still in the nightmare of being without the other. But soon the need for air became to great and they both pulled back gasping, all the while staying close.

Ian got up to go behind Charlie to lay on the bed, pulling Charlie to his chest while keeping him wrapped in his arms. "I love you Charlie." Ian said. Now that he had been given this second chance, he would not let it go to waste. He would tell Charlie everyday he loved him. Many times a day.

"I love you too Ian." Charlie whispered back. They stayed that way for a few minutes when Charlie thought back to the last time he had woken up. "I'm sorry I punched you."

Ian laughed lightly. " I deserved it. I deserve more. I will spend the rest of my life making this up to you Charlie."

Charlie thought on that. "The rest of your life. You promise?"

Ian turned Charlie slightly so they could meet eye to eye. " I swear. Every day. No more me leaving. No more waiting on phone calls to come. I'm here to stay."

Charlie sighed contently. "That sounds like a good plan to me." He closed eyes, suddenly feeling drowsy. "So when can I get out of here?"

He fell asleep to a light chuckle and a kiss to the forehead, knowing from here on out, everything would be ok.

Notes:

Hi everyone! Sorry for the delay! I hope you are all enjoying this! There will be atleast two more chapters coming very soon to wrap up this story. I have had so much fun writing it and I hope you are loving it!