As the weeks passed, Blake grew more and more used to the daily routine as he healed. Nick and Judy would spend their time either assisting with what work tasks that they could, or by simply finding things to do together. It was blatantly apparent to him that they really didn't get much time off, so he generally kept out of their way to allow them private conversation. He chose to spend his time thinking, remembering, and trying to forget. It made for an interesting combination.

Looking around the room, Blake made sure that no one was in the vicinity. Judy had gone out to get some stuff for later that evening, and Nick was supposed to be taking a nap. Technically, Blake was supposed to be sleeping as well, but he never really slept for to long. The dreams always came back, and he'd rather not deal with that.

Reaching into his wallet, Blake pulled out a folded up picture and unfolded it, looking over everyone in the picture. It was the deployment photo of his troop in the 4th RRG, prior to the mission in which his entire team had been injured. This picture was far more reminiscent of the good times. A small smile slipped onto Blake's face as he wiped some dust off the photograph.

He looked at all the people in the picture, matching faces to names to memories and missions, especially the ones who had had major impacts on himself during his time with the troop.

CPT Wolven had been the leader of his troop, and a really good one. He had always made sure that all his soldiers were taken care of and ready to fight. As far as Blake knew, he was still serving in ASOC, but Blake had no way to confirm or deny that.

CW2 Fangwin had always been the one to get things done, both conventionally and unconventionally. Blake laughed a little thinking of the time he had raided an aid station for Blake, just to make sure that he had all the needed supplies to treat the wounded. He had hit the end of his contract during the deployment, and had gone home prior to the mission.

SSG Oats had been a gruff team leader, but Blake had quickly learned it was because he cared. He expected the best of all his soldiers, but he also fought to the bitter end for them, regardless of what they had done. His injuries had gotten him transferred to a training unit, where Blake knew he still was serving, training new members of ASOC to the standards he had set.

SGT Otterton was the wild card. Nobody could ever tell what he was up too. Practical joke after practical joke would be played, but when push came to shove he was fiercely protective of his men. His injuries had gotten him a longer stay in the hospital, and by the time he had been discharged Blake had also been removed from ASOC and the military in general. He had no idea what had happened to the jokester.

SGT Finnaly had been Blake's best friend. He closed his eyes, trying to force out the memory of his body laying there on that floor as it shot to the forefront of his mind. His eyes tightly shut, Blake tried to think of all the stupid things they had done together; all the fun they had managed to have regardless of what was going on. He didn't want to remember his friend any other way.

Blake was so focused on stopping himself from freaking out he didn't notice the soft rumbling of wheels as they came alongside his spot on the couch.

"That you there?" Nick asked, as Blake suddenly jolted upright, his eyes open as he looked over at Nick. He was pointing to Blake in the photograph, standing in the middle of the entire team.

Blake sighed deeply, partially of disappointment at being caught unawares and partially to calm himself down before answering. "Yeah." He replied, nodding slightly. "That's me and my team. Took that photograph the week that we arrived on the base."

"This your team when you were with ASOC?" Blake felt his shoulders tense up, but he could hear the honest curiosity in the question. He nodded in response, still trying to keep himself calm and fight down the brutal memories.

"You keep in touch with any of them?" Nick asked, and Blake tensed further, trying to decide how to answer the question.

Blake slowly nodded. "Some of them yes. The ones that I can contact anyways. Others I haven't spoken too since I..." he trailed off, not sure if he even wanted to finish the question.

"Since you got discharged." Nick finished, gently resting a friendly paw on Blake's shoulder. Blake froze, unsure of what to do. He really didn't like people touching him all that much, but he also knew that Nick was trying to be friendly and comfort him. When he was finally able to, he gave a short nod.

He heard a sigh from behind him, and then hand on his shoulder released. He watched as Nick wheeled around to sit in front of him, looking up at his face. Blake looked him over once again, trying to avoid staring or remembering. Aside from some minor differences, Nick looked almost like Finnaly had.

"Blake, what happened to you wasn't your fault." Nick began, the look on his face suggesting that he was choosing his words carefully. "You got put into a bad situation, and you reacted in a way that managed to save lives. What happened afterwards, with the discharge...that was wrong. Hell, I'm not even sure it was legal, but it sure wasn't your fault."

Blake clenched his fists as Nick spoke about saving lives. The tension in his shoulders grew stronger as Nick continued, but Blake really wasn't listening anymore.

Save lives. Hah. If only he knew. He has no idea what happened, and he makes these assumptions that he knows the full story. He has no idea, he has no right to tell me that I'm fine or not fine, that I did good or did not.

Nick trailed off as Blake began to shake with anger. Looking up at Nick, Blake locked eyes with him. "You have no idea." He growled through clenched teeth. "You have no idea what happened, who did or didn't survive. You. Don't. Know." Blake lowered his eyes to the picture in his lap, then looked back up at Nick, his eyes cold. "Just like everyone else, you think that you're the one who knows what happened. You weren't there. You didn't see how it went down."

Nick nodded. "That's right, I didn't. So I go off of the information that is accessible to me, which currently is a single award citation." He didn't flinch as Blake glared at him, simply returning with a steady stare. "Which means that if it has information that is missing or incorrect, you'd be the person who would have to tell me."

Glaring at Nick, Blake slowly processed what he had said. Nick was right, he knew that much. Blake just wasn't ready to admit it, or share those stories. Looking away, he chose not to answer. Nick just sat there and waited.

The silence was finally broken by the sound of the front door opening, accompanied by the sounds of multiple laughing voices.

This chapter could've been longer, but I decided to have it stop at what felt like a more natural point, or a pause. So the abrupt ending, if anyone wonders, was intentional. Outside of that, some of the next few chapters will begin to hit on some heavier and darker material. I won't spoil anything, but this is just fair warning: if you don't enjoy that type of reading, or it has an effect on you, you've been warned in advance.

Outside that, thank you for everyone's support thoughout this story. It's coming along, and as I've been writing it and posting it, I've been having more and more ideas. I currently do have another story idea, but I have not done anything beyond a first half-written chapter due to trying to keep the posting schedule. If you are interested in getting two stories out at once, possibly on a rotating basis, please let me know and I will consider it. Thanks, and happy reading!