I am SOO sorry that this update took so long. I had to go on a business trip and my normal schedule got all wonky. My story is pretty much caught up to the chapters I have written now, so I might be a bit slower while I try to write. The next update shouldn't be any later than July 27th.

Thank you everyone for the wonderful reviews. They really help me to keep going!

As always, I do not own Rurouni Kenshin nor the characters.

CHAPTER 10

Darkness was everywhere; Kenshin felt like he was floating within a void. He tried to remember where he was, how he got here, and what happened? Nothing was returned; it seemed like his mind was as vacant as the nothingness that surrounded him. As he pushed his senses outward, things slowly started to come back to him. He could hear the slow steady rhythm of the ocean beating against the shore, a small group's calm talking, and someone's heart-wrenching crying further off. As the rest of his senses started to return, he could feel soft, warm sand beneath his feet; he could feel the warm sun beating down on his shoulders. He slowly opened his eyes; a bright blinding white light accosted his face. As hazy pictures finally come into focus, he was surprised by the vision that stood before him.

Kenshin was back on the beach where his battle with Enishi took place. The scene looked more like a dream than a real world, but Kenshin was still surprised that he was here; reliving this day.

He could see himself waking past Enishi, and placing his sword back in his sheath. He heard the one simple question uttered from his past form's mouth, "Are you hurt?" He could remember the feeling of the anticipation and slight fear he was holding until she answered with a simple, "No."

He remembered that the relief was so instantaneous that he lost his footing and fell into Kaoru's arms. He came here to save and return Kaoru, but in an ironic twist, she saved him in more ways than one.

"Thank you Kenshin, but this time, let me help you." And she smiled at him warmly as she helped him back up again.

The scenery became hazy as the dream shifted slowly, like scenes in a movie. Kenshin was now laying down quietly at home in the dojo sleeping, with Kaoru quietly keeping watch over him. It appeared as if the sun was recently rising in the east, and to Kenshin's surprise, Kaoru appeared to be exhausted.

He turned his head as he heard the shoji screen being quietly slid to the side as Megumi walked in. In her hands was a tray with a bowl of rice and fish, and two bowls of miso soup. She handed Kaoru the bowl of rice and one of the bowls of soup before sitting down next to Kenshin to check on his wounds. "Kaoru, you really should try to get more rest. Just think about what Ken-san would say if he saw you like this."

Kaoru smiled tiredly, "It is ok Megumi. I feel like Kenshin needs me here more than I need rest. He has been having nightmares, and he seems to be soothed when I am close by. He has done so much for me, if I can let him rest easier by my presence, than that is the least I can do. I feel useless at the moment. Kenshin is once again injured because I couldn't protect myself; because he once again had to rescue me. I can't fight with him like Sano, I can't heal him like you. But I can stay by his side no matter what, so that is what I do."

The two sat quietly for a few more minutes giving themselves and Kenshin time to ponder over those words. Kaoru always felt useless compared to her other friends; that isn't something that Kenshin thought that he had ever been able to rid herself of. Kaoru didn't' see what Kenshin and her friends saw. She didn't see how her kind heart gave them all a home and a family. She didn't see her strength on the battlefield the way he did. Kenshin knew that she was capable of defending herself, but it was his fear of losing her that made him keep her out of battle. She didn't see how her presence in his life gave him a reason to live, seek forgiveness, and finally find his answer; she more than any other thing or person calmed his heart.

Just then he could hear his sleeping self moaning quietly, "No. Kaoru…Kaoru." And Kenshin saw himself starting to thrash weakly in his bed. Kaoru took her hand and gently placed it over his heart, "It is ok Kenshin, I am here. I will always be here Kenshin." With her soothing promises Kenshin started to calm down again, but worry was still etched on Kaoru's face.

"Megumi, tell me what happened while I was away; what everyone else seems to be avoiding. I understand I was gone, but way is Kenshin so much more deeply troubled than I have seen him before? Why won't Sano and Yahiko take their eyes off me? Why are Kenshin's battle wounds from over a month ago still sore and barely healed? What is going on?" Kaoru kept her eyes on Kenshin as she sounded off the strong of worry filled questions.

"Kaoru, that isn't" but Megumi didn't have the chance to finish when Kaoru squared her eyes on the doctor and cut her off sternly."

"Don't tell me it isn't you place Megumi! Kenshin is suffering here and I don't know why, and if I don't know why then how can I help! What happened to him?"

Megumi's face fell as the memories of those dark days consumed her, the days when they lost 3 valued friends with the price of one sword. She turned her haunted eyes to Kaoru, who gasped at the sight. "Kaoru, I will only say this. Enishi played a horrible trick and it nearly cost us everything, but some more than others. Kenshin's pain likely stems from that, so you will have to talk to him about it when he wakes."

"How much longer do you think that will take? Ever since we returned to the Dojo two days ago he has been asleep. I am worried Megumi."

Megumi reached to Kaoru to hold her hand in comfort, "I know Kaoru-san. Ken-san heals faster than anyone I know. I am sure he will wake soon." After that, Megumi gathered her supplies and left the room.

Kaoru got up and went over to the wash basin where she picked up a fresh towel. She rinsed the towel in the water and rung it out. Walking gingerly back over to Kenshin, she washed his forehead with the towel gently. Ethereal Kenshin continued to stare from the side watching Kaoru's gentle care for him.

Kaoru watched on diligently for a time longer until the sun was setting in the west. Kenshin finally started to stir slightly, and it appeared as if consciousness may be slowly slipping back to him. "Kenshin, are you awake now Kenshin?" asked Kaoru's voice softly and sweetly.

Kenshin's eyes fluttered and slowly opened and he gazed around the room slowly until his eyes fell upon Kaoru. "Kaoru-dono," he said simply with a touch of reverence. He took time to take in her image fully and was troubled by what he saw. Her hair was oily, and her pony tail clung to her back. He eyes were sunken in and shadowed; she looked beyond exhausted. He wondered if she was ill. "Kaoru-dono, are you ok?"

Kaoru laughed; it was a pure and exhilarating laugh. Those simple words voiced by Kenshin told her that he was alright, and the irony of what he asked her while in his condition did not escape her. "Kenshin, you are lying in bed, with sword wounds and a bullet hole in you. You have been asleep for two days recovering from wounds both new and old, which by the way still haven't recovered. You have had a constant stream of nightmares, but here you lay, asking me if I am ok?"

Ethereal Kenshin who was watching the scene unfold before him laughed slightly at the sight. "I remember this day. Kaoru never changes."

"Oro?" Kenshin looked at Kaoru bewildered.

"Yes Kenshin I am ok. I have been worried for you and that is all. I am sorry if it has taken its toll on me and caused you worry."

Kenshin smiled at her weekly, "That is ok Kaoru-dono, that it is. I was simply worried for you." As he finished, he reached over and grabbed her hand gently.

Kaoru waited a few minutes, enjoying their peaceful moment before she dared to broach the subject she knew needed to be voiced. "Kenshin, can I ask you a question?'

Kenshin continued to smile at Kaoru, reveling in the joy that she was safe, at home, and that the danger was behind them at last. "Ok course Kaoru-dono."

Kaoru looked at her hands for a moment before she gathered the inner strength to broach the subject, "Kenshin, what happened while I was gone? Why are your old wounds still so fresh? Why do your nightmares, which are so hunting, revolve around me? Why will our friends not remove their eyes from me as if I might disappear? What happened while I was gone Kenshin?"

Ethereal Kenshin watched on from the corner of the room. He watched as his eyes grew slightly pained, and he withdrew within himself. He remembered he was trying to hide his pain from Kaoru, but she had become too good at reading him. "Don't pull away from me Kenshin. You don't have to tell me right now; I was just curious."

The two continued to sit in silence for a moment more before Kenshin decided to speak, his voice was so quiet Kaoru almost didn't hear him, "We lost you Kaoru-dono."

Kaoru reached out and placed a gentle hand on Kenshin's shoulder for comfort. "I know Kenshin, and I am sorry that I allowed that to happen."

"NO!" Kenshin said with a stronger force and anger than Kaoru was used to hearing from the kind wanderer. "No, Kaoru-dono. Don't say that. It was I who failed you, who failed everyone. We thought we lost you Kaoru-dono." Kenshin turned his face from her as tears threatened to fall from his face at the memory. "Enishi, Enishi had a replica made; it looked like you in every way. By the time we got to the dojo, we thought it was too late. There you were, with a cross shaped scar on your cheek and a… and Enishi's…Enishi's sword though your chest." Kenshin's haunted eyes turned and pierced Kaoru's, and so much emotion was conveyed. "Kaoru, your friends buried you and for more than a week we thought you to be dead. I couldn't live with the thought that I failed another, that I failed you; so I turned my back on everyone and resigned myself to the village of the fallen. There I resigned myself to merely exist until I died and was brought to hell like I deserved. I knew from my sins that I would never earn a place in the same eternity with your or Tomoe. I lost all hope and will to live; in doing this I failed our friends too."

"Kaoru-dono, they all learned something valuable then. For so long everyone thought that I was the corner stone that held everyone together; I have always known that it is you. It was you who invited us into your home, and your love that holds us together. Without that Kaoru-dono, we fell apart."

Kaoru stared speechless for a moment, trying to process what was being told to her, and trying to finally understand the pain that surrounded her friends like a thick blanket. "So the nightmares.."

"Yes Kaoru-dono, the nightmares are about that day; they are about that loss. Even though I now know that you are ok, my mind is having a hard time letting go."

"Then how did you.."

"Know where to find you? Aioshi and Misao came to Tokyo at your request; however they found out that they were too late. Yahiko, not being awake until after everything happened found it hard to accept. Aioshi was the one who put the pieces together and Saito was the one who found out where you were."

"Is that when you saved Yahiko?"

"You heard about that?" Asked Kenshin?

"Only the basics of the incident, when I asked about his injuries."

"Yes, Tsubame found me and begged me to save him. It was her plea for help that awoke me from my living sleep. As long as I lived, I couldn't fail one more person who required my help."

Kaoru looked at Kenshin, deep compassion emanating out of her expression. "Kenshin, you could never fail any of us. After everything that you have seen and lost in your life, I don't think anyone can fault you for wanting a break. The important part is that you got up Kenshin. "

A small smile finally appeared on Kenshin's face; the two laid there for some time in companionable silence, both reflecting. After some time, Kenshin stared up at the ceiling as if he were peering into the heavens themselves. "Kaoru, I would like to go pay my respects to Tomoe's grave. I have finally found my path to forgiveness; it is time to say goodbye to the past and move forward. Would you accompany me Kaoru-dono?"

"Yes Kenshin. I would also like to offer her my thanks."

Then, just like before, the scene shifted and swirled once again revealing a starry night. Kenshin could see himself pacing nervously in the Dojo courtyard. Lines of stress marred his face; his grip on the hilt of his sword was tight.

"Kaoru-dono should have been home by now. It is not like her to be this late."

Ethereal Kenshin remembered this night well and anger boiled up inside of him at the memory. He turned his face towards the street as he heard a group of men running buy. "Fight, there is a fight down the road! Some crazy lady is involved!"

Kenshin visibly whitened as he ran out of the dojo. He violently pushed back the flashbacks, memories from more violent times. Fear gripped him as he imagined what sort of scene he would be met with when he located the wayward Kaoru. What he saw, was not what he expected.

Kaoru was standing triumphantly in the middle of three battered, bruised men. A large crowd of onlookers surrounded her and the prone men; gaining some weird pleasure out of the supposed hilarity of the fight. Other than the coating of dirt and sweat that covered her, nothing appeared to be injured or out of place.

Kaoru calmly walked over to the only man that remained conscious, and towered above him in her scary way. Outwardly, everything appeared normal. She was smiling slightly and talking calmly; to any other person it would appear as though she was talking to a friend. Kenshin though noted how her bokken was poised precariously on her shoulder, the hard set of her eyes, and the slight strain to her voice.

"I thank you Shegure for your kind advances; however, as I said before, I must decline. You see, although I may have a male boarder under my roof currently, and previously housed multiple house guests, that does not mean that I am, "Open for business" as you so put it. If you have any future requests for company, I highly suggest you visit the red light district. I am sure you will find it much less painful."

With a huff, and a poised, albeit forceful turn, Kaoru turned around and began to walk through the parting crowd towards home. A look of surprise painted her face when she spotted the mop of red hair that belonged to the said border, followed by a tired sigh. She should have known that he would come looking for her.

Kenshin was slightly surprised when Kaoru walked straight past him without a word. Her direction indicated that she was heading home; maybe she simply didn't want to talk in public. When they reached the courtyard of the dojo, and Kaoru still showed no inclination to explain the situation he witnessed outside, Kenshin gently grabbed her elbow. "Kaoru?"

"I am tired Kenshin, I simply want to go to bed." Kaoru uttered softly without turning around towards him.

"Kaoru."

Really, it was amazing how much force one small, unimposing man could put in one simple word. As much as she wanted to ignore him, Kaoru could hear the slight worry and forceful demand of that one word. She knew she wasn't getting out of this talk. She considered remaining defiant, holding out until the very end; however, she already knew, there really just wasn't any winning against the little man.

Sigh. "At least let me get us some tea first Kenshin."

A few moments later, the couple was sitting on the porch, tea cups in hand. The atmosphere buzzed with the slight tension rolling off of Kenshin, trying to calmly wait for Kaoru's explanation. Neither looked at the other, both content at the moment to stare into the stars.

"Well I suppose that you pieced together what happened from what you heard."

The atmosphere turned dark as Kenshin's anger flared. The fact that anyone would do such a thing, especially to his Kaoru, made his insides boil. His face turned to her and he started his inquisition. "I believe so, Kaoru…Why? How?"

"Why does anyone try such things Kenshin? And you obviously saw the how. They tried to ambush me on my way home from training."

"You talk about it like it is nothing Kaoru. Do you not realize what could have happened?"

Kaoru's eyes turned dark and her expression fierce and her head turned to face him. He could see the challenge in her gaze. "Of course I realize what could have happened Kenshin. I am not some helpless woman who can easily be victimized. They are not the first to overestimate their abilities while underestimating mine!"

At Kenshin's sharp intake of breath, Kaoru realized her error, she had never told Kenshin of the previous attacks. When her father was alive, no one dared to cross him; however, ever since his death, and the invasion of her male boarders, things had changed. Kaoru's reputation had never been stellar around town, due to her choice of occupation over "normal" feminine activities. Allowing young men, especially of questionable background, to live with her, had not helped things.

"Explain now." Kenshin's tone brokered no arguments.

Kaoru's eyes took on a more gentle tone, knowing that the explanation would not help to assuage his guilt. "Kenshin, I am a young woman, with no family, practices kendo, unmarried, and living with young male boarders. I also own a decent amount of land. There are many men out there who love to pray on my poor reputation while trying to steal what is precious to me."

Kenshin looked aghast as he processed this information. Kaoru's wonderful reputation was ruined by her kind heart, because she helped him. Even worse, his presence has caused men to form the wrong impression of her, to prey on her. It was Enishi all over again.

"Don't Kenshin. This isn't your fault. I chose to let you, Yahiko, Sano, Megumi, everyone stay here of my own free will. What use do I have for a reputation? Their dark whispers bring me no sadness, and their false welcomes bring me no happiness. I told you, I want to stay with you Kenshin, that is happiness."

"But Kaoru-dono, you don't deserve this!"

Kaoru gently shook her head. "Kenshin, no one deserves it."

Kenshin gently grasped Kaoru's hand, and although his tone held a darker undercurrent, it was coated with a hint of desperation and affection. "No Kaoru-dono. I will fix this. I will not lose you again, to anyone, but least of all to those men."

Kaoru laughed, and gave his hand a gentle squeeze in return before standing up again. Brushing herself clean of any dust, she turned to Kenshin with a smile on her face. "I thank you; however, it will be all right. I am not a damsel that needs a protector, I just need you. No matter what, you will never "lose" me Kenshin."

And then the scene faded one more time, much like a curtain being pulled on a play. When the new act started, Kenshin was confused, momentarily forgetting the event that was unfolding before him.

In the open grounds of the dojo stood a bloody Kenshin struggling to maintain consciousness, slowly trying to stand up, heaving and bleeding together. "I cannot lose! (huf) I will not lose! (pant) I WILL PROTECT KAORU!"

He became further confused when he saw Kaoru, who he was clearly trying to protect, silently move up behind him and attack him with her bohken.

"Kaoru-dono….?" And then Kenshin watched as he collapsed lifelessly to the ground.

"Tamake-san, give me just one moment, and I promise I will leave with you willingly. I will not fight, or object to anything, just give me this one moment."

"Feh, do whatever you want wench. He'll be dead soon anyway!" and then he walked to the dojo's entrance gate.

Fear and apprehension surrounded ethereal Kenshin as memories of the fight started coming back to him. Everything was still fuzzy; he couldn't place a time or reason specifically. He could remember the fear, the drive to protect his family from the madman before him. He remembered Kaoru's sudden attack, but never understood the reason. What happened?

He watched the scene play out in front of him, surreal that it was in fact his own life. Kaoru placed Kenshin's head gently in her lap; she stroked his hair, her tears gently falling onto his face. She tore strips of her Kimono quickly in order to wrap his most serious wounds. "Kenshin, I am sorry, so sorry my dear Kenshin. But you would have fought until he killed you, and I couldn't bear the thought of that. I don't know what is in store for me from this point on, but please take care of Kenji, and please take care of yourself. Promise to be strong for me and the others, and I will promise to remain strong for you. Remember Kenshin, no matter what, I am with you always. Our hearts are always one." Then Kaoru gently placed a kiss on his lips. Her tiny hands went up to her Indigo blue ribbon, and with one swift pull, her hair tumbled down in long, flowing waves. She folded the ribbon neatly, and placed it in Kenshin's hand by his side. With one final goodbye, Kaoru stood, and walked into the moon-lit night, following her captor.

Ethereal Kenshin watched on in horror, and raced forward to stop his crazy wife. "NO KAORU-DONO!" He felt helpless as he realized that she could probably not hear him. He reached out to grab her arm and restrain her; however, he passed through her like a shadow.

The final scene faded to black and he witnessed his wife fade into the darkness with the monster, Kenshin reaching and screaming out for his lost wife, "KAORU!"