Susan sat on the window seat of her chamber, looking out at the apple orchard which she assumed was where she and Peter had been walking last night. She wasn't thinking about Peter at that moment, though. Her thoughts were with the stone dryad.
She realized now that she couldn't leave Cair Paravel and go back to the professor's house. The Narnians needed her. She didn't know how to help or protect them but she had to try to help somehow.
If she left, would more innocent people become victims like Maplebella? Peter and Edmund seemed to think so. That settled it. She was staying. She would find a way to save her new friends, she just had to.
"I suppose that's it then," she whispered softly to herself.
The door opened a crack and Susan saw a black nose popping in. It was the white bear. He pushed his way into the room and walked over to her. There was a golden serving tray full of food on his back.
Susan reached over, picked it up, and placed it on the little bedside table.
"How are you holding up?" he asked her.
"As well as can be expected, thank you," Susan said almost coldly although she didn't mean to sound so distant nor so angry. She wasn't mad at Peter. It was the White Witch she was furious with. How dare she just come in and destroy someone who had never done her any harm?
"You're safe here," the white bear promised her. "I wont let anything happen to you."
"But what am I supposed to do?" Susan asked him.
"What do you mean?" The white fur on his forehead crinkled in confusion.
"How do I save the Narnians?" she wanted to know. "Whatever it is, I'll do it."
"You don't have to do anything," Peter told her. "You just have to live here at Cair Paravel."
"What good does that do?" Susan snapped, feeling rather irritated.
"Look outside." He pointed his nose towards the window.
"What about outside?" She didn't understand what he was getting at.
"It's spring," he explained, his black bear-lips turning up into a smile.
"Yes..." Susan wondered what was so great about spring.
"Before you came to live here it was always winter," he told her. "Ever since I was five years old, it's been winter here in Narnia. I used to think that nothing could ever make the snow melt and the flowers come back. And then you came. The day after, I woke up and all the snow was gone. Everything was in bloom. Birds were singing. People were rejoicing."
"So just by living here, I make things better?" Susan asked with an, 'are you pulling my leg?' expression on her face.
"You ran away the day after, you must have seen it wasn't snowing then," the white bear pointed out.
"It's my fault that she's gone, isn't it?" Susan said softly blinking back the tears that were reforming in her eyes.
"No, don't blame yourself for that one." He rested his head against her shoulder to comfort her. "The witch would have found some other excuse to threaten us. She's only trying to make it hard for you here so you'll leave."
"How long do I have to stay?" Susan asked, reaching for the crystal wine goblet on the golden tray.
"I can't tell you that." He sighed, lifting up his head now.
"You mean, you don't know?" Susan turned to face him.
"No, I mean what I said, simply that I can't tell you," he huffed.
"Well there's no need to get so worked up," Susan huffed back, taking a sip of the wine.
"I'm not," he lied.
"Yes you are," Susan retorted.
"I'll just leave you to eat in peace." The white bear decided, walking out of the chamber.
That evening, there was a memorial service for Maplebella. Susan returned Lucy's scissors and she made black mourning dresses, veils, and tunics for everyone to wear.
Everyone stood in the cool-air of the rich purple twilight that filled the pear orchard (Maplebella had been a peach-tree dryad) with somber broken-hearted expressions on their faces. Those who had known Maplebella well made speeches about her life. Her parents talked about things she had done as a little girl and what a sweet good-natured child she had been.
Feeling lower than dirt, Susan stood away from the main crowd next to the thickest trees, not caring if her long black petticoats got snagged by branches. Lucy left the crowd to stand by her side and hold her hand, a gesture that Susan couldn't help but feel touched by. They stood quietly listening and crying together.
Edmund was in the mist of the crowd keeping everything in order and seeing to it that the next speaker was announced when the currently talking servant finished their speech. He had a lot to attend to on his own as Peter wasn't anywhere to be seen. He would be turning back into a human for the night very soon.
Just as the sun was setting and the ceremonies were being wrapped up in favor of everyone going inside, having supper, and getting some sleep, Susan happened to look over at a certain circle of trees a few feet behind her.
For a moment she thought she saw the white bear roaming about, though she couldn't quite be sure because the lighting was getting dimmer and dimmer, turning from purple to black slowly but steadily. Her last glimpse of the bear made her wonder if she had seen him at all. Because looking over to his place, she saw, not a polar bear, but a man with snowy white hair. He wasn't facing her direction and as has been mentioned, the lighting was bad. Thus she didn't see his face.
"Lucy," she whispered to the teary-eyed little girl who was still clinging tightly onto her right hand.
"Did you happen to see a man with white hair wandering about over there?"
"No," Lucy admitted, looking over to the place Susan motioned to and seeing that there was no longer anyone there. "But it must have been Peter."
"Peter has white hair?" Susan asked in deep surprise. "From the glimpse she'd caught before he'd put the candle out, she'd thought his hair was blond.
"Only for the first hour or so before he turns from human to bear or from bear to human," Lucy explained. "Then it goes back to it's normal colour."
"I see," Susan said, as they started to walk back towards the castle. "Why do you suppose he doesn't let us see his face?"
"I've seen his face." Lucy shrugged. "It's only you who's not allowed to. The servants and Edmund see him all the time."
"Why is that?" Susan asked her.
Lucy shrugged again. "I can't tell you. Don't worry about it. Just trust us on this one."
No pain lasts for ever and the anguish of the servants over losing their companion faded with the passing of time. They stopped being distant toward Susan and became kind to her again. Even Maplebella's parents came to like her a great deal.
Susan found that she could be happy at Cair Paravel after all. Edmund and Lucy were good-as-gold as far as company went. They always kept her entertained and let her borrow whatever she wanted from them. Many times, Lucy allowed Susan to use the scissors to make more dresses for herself (and not all of them turned into velvet ball gowns, much to Susan's relief) and Edmund loaned her books from his personal library so she could keep up with her studies. As for Peter, she grew to like him quite a bit too. Although it took her a while to admit it, she felt lonely when he wasn't around.
At night she no longer was sleeping when he arrived. She was simply laying still with her eyes closed, unable to fall asleep until she felt the give in the mattress and heard the familiar breathing of the high king. Then she could doze off. Sometimes he figured out that she was awake and talked to her. The first time he did this, she didn't answer him assuming that he was only talking in his sleep again.
"Come on, Su." (Like Lucy and now Edmund, Peter also used the nickname for her sometimes) He nudged her gently. "I know you aren't really asleep."
"I'm not, but I thought you were," Susan explained.
Every once in a while there was a sleepless night or two when neither could sleep a wink. On such nights they would just lay there and talk for hours. Usually, Susan did fall asleep after a while, but once she happened to be up all night and was still awake when he was leaving.
"Where are you going?" she had asked as he climbed out of the bed.
"It's almost morning." Peter sighed as he started to take off his night-shirt. "I have to leave now." He slipped on his boots and tunic which he always left at the foot of the bed, folded the night-shirt and placed it on his pillow.
"Goodbye," Susan said softly as he turned to leave. "See you later."
"Goodbye." He smiled at her even though she couldn't see it. Before he left, he leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead.
It was an innocent gesture but there was something so endearing and intimate about it that Susan couldn't help but feel a rush of confusing emotions rushing through her. Strange emotions she couldn't name, explain, or even understand.
AN: Review please.