Bringing Hope to Hogwarts Chapter 10 - I Don't Sleep Well, a harry potter fanfic

BRINGING HOPE TO HOGWARTS

This is my first EVER fanfic, guys! Please R&R, it'd really help an aspiring writer!

Chapter Ten – I don't sleep well

The next morning she was up, showered and dressed before the other girls were awake, like usual, and she left the Dungeons in search of breakfast.

One month in and I finally know my way out of the Dungeons… that's not bad.

She was early to the Great Hall for breakfast, like always, and she gave her usual morning greeting to Professor Snape – a courteous nod – and smiled at the group of Ravenclaw seventh years that she knew by sight alone due to their early morning study-sessions for their N.E. .

Meena spent twenty minutes slowly eating a large breakfast of sugar and honey sweetened porridge, cup of tea, and toast with banana and honey. A few more asleep-looking students braving an early Saturday rise trickled into the Great Hall, and then a single bird flew in to the hall, seeming to appear straight out of the clouded enchanted ceiling, before it landed next to Professor Snape.

The Professor untied one of the scrolls of parchment, and he fed the bird a piece of bacon in a rare moment of kindness only people who braved the hours before the sun rose would ever see, and then he stroked the pale head.

Pale head, brown body, with white tail feathers… that's a White Tailed Eagle...What an imaginative name, Meena thought to herself.

The bird let out a long cry and the raised itself from its position besides Snape, circled the hall once, before coming back to land right next to Meena. She untied her own copy of Brewing Bi-Monthly, slipped a few Knuts into its money pouch, before pouring some water into a shallow dish, from which the bird drank for a few moments before taking flight, its wings making a light swoosh sound.

The Professors eyes had followed the bird, and Meena nodded at him once more, before unfurling the pages and reading.

It was almost an hour before her friends made an appearance.

"So, ready to go to Hogsmede?" Blaise asked, sitting heavily opposite her.

"Been awake for ages, boys."

"We were getting our beauty sleep." Theo joked, slipping under the table and popping up again beside Meena on the other side.

"Yeah well, you two need it." Draco said, sitting next to Blaise.

"Cheeky bastard." Theo mumbled into his morning coffee. He set about spreading butter over toast – removing the crusts, of course – before pushing the tilting stack of toast towards Draco.

"You not eating, Draco?" Meena queried.

He looked a little green, and was moving gingerly, as if he would vomit if he moved too fast.

"Are you feeling okay?"

"Fine. Just a little under the weather."

"Have something to drink, at least." Meena said as she pushed the coffee pot towards him.

"Right." He said, pouring himself a cup – no milk and two sugars.

A little whilst later and Meena was following the other Slytherins down a wide dirt track road to the Village of Hogsmede, that eventually broke out into quaint cobbled streets with old cottages and light snow banks.

"Does it always snow here?" Meena asked, looking round.

"Not always, but it's always colder, so it generally snows from September right through to April. The rest of the time it just rains." Theo explained.

The Slytherins broke up a little further into the village; the girls headed for Gladrags Wizardswear, which was nestled long a side-street the boys had dubbed 'Witches Walk'.

"The whole street is just full of Boutique clothing shops, shops selling lotions and potions to do everything from changing hair colour to making skin softer, flouncy cafes and jewellery makers, bakeries and patisseries." Theo explained

"There's even a whole shop dedicated to candles." Blaise said incredulously.

"Let's avoid there. What else is here?" Meena asked.

"Everything is here. For your first visit, dear Madam, i would recommend visiting Honeydukes, the sweet shop, Zonko's, the joke shop, Spintwitches, the sporting shop, with an excellent supply of Quidditch gear..."

Theo cut over Blaise's speech. "I think you'd also enjoy Tombes and Scrolls, it's the best bookshop around, And Dogweed and Deathcap's is an odd little Herbology shop. Anywhere specific you want to go, Draco?" Theo asked over his shoulder.

Draco was following behind the three of them at a slow stroll, hand in his pockets, scarf up around his mouth and neck, watching the ground and kicking lightly at the snow banks.

When he looked up, his eyes were slightly unfocused and red rimmed. "I just want to stop in at the Three Broomsticks – get a hot butterbeer."

"And an eyeful of Rosmerta, eh?" Blaise chuckled, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Shut up, Blaise." Draco mumbled as they continued along the street.

The four walked through the village at leisure, Theo and Blaise keeping up a running commentary, Draco only clipping in every so often, emerging from the safety of his scarf. They came across Vince and Greg in Honeydukes, who were stuffing bags full of sweets before taking them up to the counter to hand over masses of Sickles and Galleons.

Around lunchtime, when the wind had whipped itself up into a fury and a light flurry of sleet had begun to fall again, they stopped in at the Three Broomsticks for a light lunch and the drinks Draco requested.

They pushed open the heavy wooden door and paused, looking around a moment for a table. The pub was filled with noise from patrons clinking glasses and people laughing merrily. The whole room was filled with a golden glow from multitudes of candles on the walls and on the tabletops, dripping wax onto the floor and tables. From the timber beams running along the ceiling hung all manner of items, from, unsurprisingly enough, three racing brooms, to copper kettles, corn scythes, old rusty cauldrons and many bunches of dried herbs and spices.

Meena's glasses steamed up instantly, the sudden rush of warm air bringing a red flush to her cheeks.

"C'mon, Meena." Draco mumbled from a little way in front of her.

She wiped her glasses on her purple jackets' tails, the room going blurry. Placing her glasses back on her face, she found them now smudged with water instead of fog. Velvet is a rubbish cleaning cloth, I can't see any better than before.

The groups of candles were creating wide golden glows through the water on her glasses, people just foggy patches of darker gold.

"Merlin, Meena, you're so blind." She heard Draco say in a lighter tone than he'd used all day, before she felt a long-fingered hand lightly clasp her own and begin to draw her away from the door.

Draco guided her across the pub, gently tugging on their entwined hands to direct her - and she definitely wasn't blushing, it was just hot in there - to the table Theo and Blaise had found Millie, Pansy and Daphne sitting at, bags at their sides overflowing with different fabrics.

Draco pulled a chair out for Meena and told her to sit. She sat down and placed her glasses on the table, and waited for them to clear by themselves. She was growing hot, so she pulled at the buttons of her jacket and threw it over the back of her chair, revealing her high-necked, long sleeved black shirt, over black trousers and her usual black boots.

"Damn, Meena, you should have come with us, i swear your whole wardrobe consists of just school robes, and black trousers and long-sleeved black tops. Apart from that jacket, of course." Daphne's voice wandered across the table, from the honey-coloured blur slightly to Meena's right.

"That's because it does, mainly. What did you ladies do anyway?" Meena asked as she inspected her glasses and slipped them back on her face, lightly shaking sleet out of her white hair.

"We visited all the clothing shops." Millie answered.

"It's a sort of tradition we have," Daphne continued. "First Hogsmede trip of the year we visit all the places and pick up anything we want for the rest of the year." Daphne concluded.

"But what about your clothes from the previous years? You can have surly grown that much, right?" Meena asked.

"I don't replace everything, just pick up a couple of things." Millie explained.

"Well i do," Pansy supplied in a rare moment of agreeing Meena existed. "Father gives me some money and he just throws out my old ones."

"Right, well, now that's cleared up," Draco slipped in with an air of someone losing their patience, "do you guys want drinks or what?"

Everyone at the table handed Draco fifteen Knuts each. "Anyone want some food?"

More coins were handed over, some exchanged for Sickles, and Draco scooped them all off of the table top and wandered over to the bar.

Theo, Meena, Blaise, Daphne, Pansy and Millie all chatted about their various purchases, Theo and Meena remarking about the bookshop and its various copies of books, including every edition of Hogwarts; A History, for ten minutes, when Greg and Vince bustled through the door, their arms laden with Honeydukes bags, as well as bags from the Patisseries and chocolate shops from Witches Walk.

Meena waved them over, and they weaved their giant masses between chairs and past tables, setting themselves at their table, shoving their bags under their chairs.

"Draco's at the bar-"

"Taking ages." Blaise interrupted.

"Getting drinks and food. I'll go tell him you guys are here if you like?" Meena finished.

The boys thanked her and gave her some Sickles each, and she wandered off in search of Draco. She found him at the bar, stonily staring at his reflection in the old, flaky mirror behind the bar. He didn't notice her until she was right beside him.

"Draco?"

"Oh! Meena! Merlin you're quiet." He exclaimed in surprise.

"It's a talent." Meena shrugged. "You've taken a while, I just came to tell you Vince and Greg are here." She said as she handed him their money.

"Oh, okay. Well Madam Rosmerta is just out back, getting us some food, i haven't gotten the drinks yet."

"Alright good, I'll wait with you."

They weren't waiting long when a woman emerged from a low door set in the wall behind the bar.

Meena supposed the woman to be in her forties, and she was still pretty, but Meena suspected she would have had wizards falling at her feet in her younger years. She had dark blonde curls piled on top of her head and kind green eyes. She wore a fuzzy sheep-skin waistcoat over a layered dress, topped off with bright turquoise sparkly heels, which seemed quite out of place in the cosy, smoky pub.

"Here we are then, Draco, Love." She said, levitating three large platters to him; one held what looked like pumpkin pasties, the other a stack of various sandwiches, and the other a selection of cheese, pies and fruit.

"Thank you," Draco replied, flashing a charming smile. "And i'll also take..." Meena saw his lips move as if counting silently, "Nine butterbeers please."

"Right you are, lovely." She waved her wand and nice glasses hopped down the shelf and formed a line at the tap of a large barrel.

Draco and Rosmerta swapped money and pleasantries, and then the nine steaming glasses hopped onto a tray and placed themselves beside the food platters.

"Enjoy, my dears." Rosmerta said, and then wandered away to serve some other Hogwarts students.

Draco levitated two of the food platters, and Meena slipped out her wand to levitate the other food tray and the drinks, and they carefully made their way back across the pub.

"What took you so long, Draco?" Pansy asked as they sat down, landing the food and drinks on the table.

He shrugged. "Just talking to Madam Rosmerta."

He reached forward and started handing out the glasses, one to Meena and then continuing round the table. The Slytherins helped themselves to food, Meena avoiding the pumpkin pasties, and Vince and Greg going no-where near the fruit.

They ate, drank, chatted, and were generally merry for a couple of hours, Draco going up to the bar twice more for two more rounds of drinks, before they decided to face the weather outside and head back for Hogwarts, huddling together in the strong wind and sleet that was rapidly turning to heavy snow.

That night, the group of friends were the last people up in the common room. They were sat around the fire, eating the sweets and flavoured drink they'd bought from Honeydukes.

Theo looked around. "Where's Draco? He can't be asleep already, surely?"

Blaise chuckled, and his cheek bulged out from the boiled sweet he was sucking on. "He slipped out earlier, said he had a 'romantic late-night rendezvous in the Prefects bathroom with a sweet little lass'."

Meena laughed as she recollected the night she'd asked him that very same thing, but the humour was lost in Pansy's anger.

"He what? No! The bastard, he wouldn't, how dare he!" She spat.

"Woah, chill out, Pans. He was joking. He told me it was none of my business and then left." Blaise explained, hands up in a sign of surrender.

"Oh, Of course not, Draco would never do that to me." Pansy reassured herself, sitting back into her chair.

"Pansy, you guys aren't even dating." Daphne reminded her.

"Shut up, Daphne! Draco is mine!"

Pansy stormed out of the Common room, and it was decided then that they should probably get to bed, so they all said their goodbyes, and the girls followed Pansy up the stairs.

Meena slipped into her shower to change into her pyjamas, and the girls were staring at her as she came out. "Why do you wear them Meena? Don't you get hot?" Daphne asked her.

The three girls were all wearing strappy night dresses in light fabric, whilst Meena had on another pair of long-legged, long-sleeved pyjamas, this time in green silk. She shrugged. "It's just what i'm comfortable in."

The girls settled down and Meena charmed her bed like always, and she fell asleep quickly.

She wasn't asleep for long. She awoke a few hours later in her bed, her sheets were tangled around her legs, and her hair and nightclothes were sticky to her body in a cold sweat. She fumbled her glasses onto her face and lit her wand. She cast a Tempus charm and it glowed for a moment, showing her the time was just after two in the morning.

She groaned. She wouldn't be able to get to sleep now, she never did. She didn't want to stay in the dorm, lest she wake one of the girls with the light of her wand.

Common Room it is then... she sighed to herself. She went to the bathroom to wash herself up quickly, thankful that the door back to the dorm was so heavy the sound of the water wouldn't wake the other girls, and she wandered back into the dorm, collecting her wand and a book, another muggle author. She stuffed some socks on and pulled on her boots, and then pulling her purple jacket out of her wardrobe, thankful for the singular dull light that was always left aglow in the centre of the bedroom.

I should probably buy a dressing gown, she thought idly to herself as she descended the staircase to the common room. When she reached the bottom of the staircase, however, she found the common room wasn't empty.

Out of the three fires, only one had remained alight through the night, and its flickering flames were the only source of illumination in the large room. A figure was slumped in one of the leather wing-back armchairs beside the fire, their white-blond hair glowing in the golden firelight.

Meena slowly made her way across the room to investigate. Draco was deathly pale, even more so than usual, and he appeared to be having some kind of nightmare, for he was fidgeting restlessly and his eyes were moving back and forth under his closed eyelids. He was shivering violently, most likely from the chill the Common Room always had, despite the fire, and his neck was twisted oddly. He looked thoroughly uncomfortable.

Meena turned and summoned the silver throw that covered her bed – everyone in Slytherin had one, it was a perk of having cold rooms under the lake. Catching it as it lightly slammed into her, she gently placed it over his sleeping body, and hoped that the warmth would allow him to find a more comfortable position on the chair.

As she leant over him, ever so lightly placing the throw around his shoulders, his silver eyes were suddenly thrown open. He jumped up from the chair, pushing the throw – and Meena – to the floor with remarkable strength; his wand was raised up in a defensive stance, his eyes flying around the room madly for any signs of disturbance. A light thud echoed through the room as a book slid from his chair to the floor.

At his feet, Meena was struggling to disentangle herself from the large throw which had landed upon her in Draco's shock. Hearing the rustling, he looked down, just as a flourish of white curls emerged from under the throw. His eyes still hadn't quite lost the panicked, mad look of someone who had been roused from a nightmare. Meena cursed herself silently – anybody who slept like that was obviously a light sleeper, damn her for being sympathetic with a fellow restless-sleeper.

Blinking himself into the present, he looked down upon her, still sprawled upon the floor, wearily watching the wand that was now pointed at her face.

"Meena." He said finally, lowering his wand. "What're you doing?"

"I was trying to cover you in a blanket, you look freezing." She said, as she god to her feet, the throw slipping off her body.

"I meant, what're you doing up? What time is it?" he asked wearily.

"A little after two in the morning." She replied.

"What're you doing awake?" he asked, rubbing his neck.

Meena began to rub her elbow where she had fallen on it awkwardly, and his eyes rested upon it.

"Oh gosh, i'm sorry, did i hurt you?"

"No, it's fine. I'm awake because i don't sleep well." Meena picked up the throw and over to the sofa, where she slipped off her shoes and sat down. Draco sat next to her on the sofa.

"Don't sleep well?"

She nodded, looking a bit sheepish. "I... have nightmares. I know it's a really childish thing but... yeah."

"Is that why you wake up so early every day? You're always out of the dorm before the other girls are even awake, they told me so."

She curled up on the sofa, tucking her feet under herself. "Pretty such. I struggle to get back to sleep once i've awoken from a nightmare, and i try not to remain in my bed longer than i have to – staying in bed just makes me think about whatever it was that i dreamt, so i usually try to divert my attention." She waved her book for him to see.

"I see." Draco curled up on the sofa next to her. He wore black pyjama trousers and a grey long-sleeved top. He shivered slightly as he shifted on the cold leather.

"Here." Meena said, and she threw the throw to him.

"This is yours, you need it."

"I summoned it for you. Besides, i have my jacket on, you don't." She protested.

"Well at least use some of it, i am trying to be a gentleman here." he chuckled as he placed it over his lap, and then across Meena's legs. There was a few feet of space between them, but the throw was big enough to cover them both comfortably.

"Thank you." She smiled. "What were you doing up anyway?"

"Same as you; i have nightmares too. I was reading, must have fallen asleep again. Accio book."

His book flew up from the floor to his lap, and Meena saw the title.

"Nice choice." She said, holding up her own identical copy of the classic Frankenstein by Mary Shelly.

"Can i ask you a question that might be a little bit weird?" Draco asked rather tentatively.

"Go ahead."

"Well... do you believe that everything is black and white?"

She had to think for a moment. "You mean like... everyone that's good is completely good whilst everyone who's bad is completely evil and there's no chance of redemption?"

He nodded.

"No. But then i don't think everything is just shades of grey either. Everybody is fundamentally the same; they all the chance to be 'good' or 'bad', some people just act it out differently. Everyone gets the impulse to be bad sometimes; it's how people react to those impulses that determine who they are."

"Can i ask you another one?"

"Please, ask away, i'm in need of a good discussion."

"I'm sorry, it's just, i've asked a few people these questions, and i think you'll have interesting answers. What... what do you think about the idea of heart?"

"You mean, like someone's spirit?" she asked, leaning back into the sofa.

"Yeah. Why do you think we have them?"

"Protection." She answered instantly.

"What?"

"Protection. Sometimes, people see things that they shouldn't; they're too young. Sometimes, people experience things that hurt them too much; they're too delicate. Sometimes, people are forced to do things that they can't stop; and yet they live on. Sometimes they're not harmed, sometimes they are. We try to protect ourselves from what we have seen, experienced, or done; that is what the heart is for – it protects us from our darkest of memories."

He seemed to think about her words for a moment, before asking; "If the heart, or spirit, of a person protects them from their memories, or fears, or whatever, why do good people like yourself still have them? Fears and nightmares and the like?"

"Because sometimes, the heart fails us," She explained. "It is too damaged, too broken, and we're left to continue our suffering. We're left to walk a path alone, re-tracing our steps, images of our despair re-played for an audience of one – in our heads, in our dreams. It is then that dreams become nightmares. Nightmares are not of the boogieman and monsters under our bed. Nightmares tell the story of the monster within ourselves, and when we are the most vulnerable, they come out to play, to taunt us – so that we are always suffering, in waking, from nerves, and in rest, from our dreams."

She had seemed to go into a bit of a trance as she spoke, looking into the far distance at something only she could see. Draco was staring at her in amazement.

"I'm sorry," she blushed. "That was a bit of a downer, wasn't it?"

"It's amazing." He mumbled, still watching her.

"What is?"

"That you can so easily describe the exact why i am feeling."

"You feel broken?"

"Lately, yes."

"Can i ask you something?" she asked.

"Go ahead, i've asked you some weird things."

"The way you're feeling... is it to do with your Father?"

His face darkened. "Partly, i suppose. There's some other things i'd rather not share. What about you, how come you know exactly how i feel?"

"I've seen some things i'd rather not talk about."

"It's what your nightmares are, isn't it?" he asked.

"Nightmare." She corrected. "Just the one."

He nodded in understanding.

They read for a few hours in comfortable silence, every now and then picking up a topic to do with their shared literature, but mostly the time was spent in silence, just the sound of the crackling fire and the turning of pages to welcome them, and the occasional chime of the grandfather clock in the corner telling them how long they had spent together.

At five in the morning, Meena stood and stretched, satisfyingly popping her joints.

"Where are you going?" Draco asked.

"For a walk until breakfast is served. Oh, and to the owlery, i need to find Duke and send a letter, but for now i'm going to go shower before the girls awake."

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Disappear before the girls even wake up."

"I like my privacy." She shared.

She began to walk across the common room, but Draco called to her. She turned and saw him stand from the sofa somewhat stiffly – he'd hardly moved all night – holding her throw.

"This is yours, thanks for sharing it with me." He mumbled. Meena thought it was just a trick of the light that he was blushing – nobody that held himself with such decorum as Draco would blush.

She smirked lightly. "Thank you for keeping me up all night."

His head snapped up and his eyes widened. "I'm sorry! If you wanted to sleep you should have said, i would have-"

"Draco, its fine, that was genuine, i promise."

"Right." He said, a bit uncertain.

"Hey...i know you don't play Quidditch anymore, but Blaise said he saw your broom in your dorm. I think the weather is supposed to be good today, do you want to fly with me? I've got a Quaffle in my trunk, or i'm sure we can charm something to act as a Snitch until breakfast when everyone else is awake."

His face instantly brightened. "Really? I think that sounds like just what i need right now."

"Excellent. I'm going to go shower, see you in, oh, i don't know, forty-five minutes? I have to be careful not to wake the others."

"Deal."

"Oh , and Draco?" Meena called softly.

"Yeah?" He said, turning to face her.

She clutched the throw to her chest, and blushed slightly when she picked up a scent on it that was not her own. "I would appreciate it if you kept this between us. You know, my nightmares."

"I will. I promise."