Disclaimer: I own neither Harry Potter nor The Dresden Files.
Of Wands and Staves
Chapter Nine
September 1st
Dear Dad and Uncle Harry,
Hogwarts is really cool! There's this awesome ceiling that looks just like the sky outside, and there's this talking hat that tells you where you're going to spend the rest of your seven years at Hogwarts! I'm in Gryffindor, because I'm really brave. It tried to send me to Slytherin, but there was this really mean boy that went to Slytherin and I didn't want to go with him. And I'm sorted with my new friend, Ron! He's awesome too. I hope you can meet him during Christmas.
They didn't call me by my proper name, though. They called me Harry Potter, and I had to correct them. I know that you legally adopted me, so it's Harry Marcone, and I made sure that they knew that. My new Head of House didn't look pleased by that, in fact, she kinda looked like she sucked on a lemon! And then I had to go and talk to the Headmaster after the sorting, and he asked all these weird questions about who you were and how you came to be my guardian.
I didn't like the questions, so I wasn't very cooperative. I'll write again to let you know how classes went!
Love you, and make sure that Mouse is behaving himself!
-Harry
ooOOooOOoo
September 3rd
Dearest Harry,
Mouse is behaving himself as he always does, which is to say that he is being exemplary without your undue influence. He does, however, miss you quite a lot, as do we all. Yes, it has only been a day or so since we parted, but it has been a very long time since you haven't been with us.
While I enjoy your account of the ceiling and your sorting, Harry and I find ourselves more concerned with your Headmaster's interest in your guardians. Please do continue to be uncooperative, and let us know if this line of questioning continues. If your Headmaster becomes too persistent, direct him in my direction. Harry and I are well equipped to handle such inquiries, and will certainly do so if required.
Also, please remember to keep up with your regular studies as well. Studying at a magic school is all well and good, but I expect you to remain competent in all the areas you've been instructed in previously. Let us know when you've finished your current texts and we'll be happy to send you others.
But don't spend too much time studying. Get out there and make more friends. One friend is great, but two is even better. There's a reason you went to this boarding school, after all. Get to know others like you. It'll be good for you. -Uncle Harry
Yes, yes, and don't forget to make friends and socialize.
All our love,
Dad and Uncle Harry
ooOOooOOoo
September 5th
Dear Dad and Uncle Harry,
Okay. I'm not enjoying this so much anymore. There's this really mean teacher named Snape who I think wants to kill me, especially since I totally answered all of his potions questions on the first day of class (Thanks by the way Bob!). He called me an arrogant snot just like my father and stormed out of the classroom for a few minutes before coming back. When he did come back he didn't even apologize but just got on with his lesson! Rude!
And our History class is taught by a ghost, which you would think would be interesting but really, really isn't. He's boring and even Hermione, our class bookworm, can't stay awake for his lectures. I kind of hate him, especially when he gets stuck going on the same topic over and over and over again. It's like that one time Molly and I kept asking Bob that one question and we accidentally got him stuck on that loop... oh, wait, you didn't know about that did you? Just kidding! That totally honestly never happened. Ever. Not once.
And I think that Dumbledore is going to try and get you to give up your rights to me or something, but I'm not sure how or why. He was just talking to me again after classes today about how he really doesn't think that an American Muggle is the best person to be raising me...
I told him that he should talk to you about it and not me, and he simply patted me on the head and offered me a lemon drop. I may or may not have used one of those words that Uncle Harry tells me not to repeat.
Love you, and tell Mouse and Bob that I miss them lots too! And Molly, and Ms. Gard, and Hendricks, and... and everyone!
-Harry
ooOOooOOoo
September 7th
Dearest Harry,
You feel free to use whatever words you'd like with that Headmaster of yours. I disapprove entirely of the way that he is badgering you about this, and will certainly be seeking to find a way to do something to stop that.
Try to avoid taking candy from him. There are a lot of potions that could be put into something like that. And don't think for even a minute that I'm going to forget about what you said about Bob. I'm asking him about it later tonight, and if I find that you two were asking him about something I've placed off-limits, you'd better believe you'll be punished when you come home for Christmas. - Uncle Harry
Ahh, thank you for that lovely image. Please, do attempt to avoid being potioned where your Uncle isn't there to cure you, Harry. And no, before you ask, I won't spare you whatever punishment he cooks up if indeed you've done something worthy of punishing.
As to the difficulties with your teachers, my recommendations are as follows. For this Professor Snape, keep your head down for now. He sounds like nothing more than a common bully, and if you give him a reaction you will only encourage him. Continue to be exemplary in his class and eventually he should back down. And for the ghost, well, that's what your textbook is for. Study it in class rather than listening to lecture, and hopefully you will learn something.
We miss you quite a lot, and we send you all our love. And this lovely box of cookies that Charity baked for you. We didn't even eat them, though we were sorely tempted.
Love,
Dad and Uncle Harry
ooOOooOOoo
September 12th
Dear Uncle Harry and Dad,
Today I made the house Quidditch team! You're not supposed to be allowed to join until your second year, but I did some really impressive flying that I may or may not have been supposed to do, and I made the team because of it. They probably shouldn't have rewarded me for that, because if I were stupider than I am, I would have taken it as permission to go about my business as usual. But you taught me better than that, and I totally put myself in the corner for five minutes to punish myself in your honor. So you don't have to when I get home.
Also, there's a three-headed dog in the school that may or may not be trying to kill us all. Just saying. And there's a teacher here that makes my scar really hurt. His name is Quirrell, he wears a really weird turban, and he reeks of garlic. I think he's hiding something, and I really want to find out what.
Love you all lots!
-Harry
ooOOooOOoo
September 14th
Dearest Harry,
While I am both amused and impressed at your creativity when it comes to punishing yourself, I am not entirely convinced that you should be allowed to join this school team. It sounds terribly dangerous, and I'm not certain that I want you engaging in dangerous activities.
John, he deserves a chance to have fun. You know, like a normal kid. Love you Harry, and you'd better do well at this whole Quidditch thing! - Uncle Harry
Right. Well, your Uncle has convinced me to allow this, loathe though I am to do so. You may continue to play this sport if you so choose, but be aware that if your grades show even the slightest of slips, I will require that you be removed from this team.
Also, please endeavor to avoid the three-headed dog that may or may not be trying to kill you. Mouse would be offended if you wound up as puppy chow for any dog but him.
I'm going to be researching this Quirrell fellow, by the way. Until I can find any information on him, do your best to stay clear of him, yeah? - Uncle Harry
Please do as your Uncle asks, Harry, and stay safe. Your Uncle and I are very worried about you. Stay safe, and we love you and miss you quite a lot. We will be coming to the castle to pick you up directly, as I would like to have words with this Headmaster of yours.
All our love,
Dad and Uncle Harry
ooOOooOOoo
November 3rd,
Dear Dad and Uncle Harry,
There was a thing with a mountain troll on Halloween night and I may or may not have been cornered by it. But I was trying to rescue a friend, and she's okay and I'm okay and everyone's okay, but it doesn't matter because I have more important news! I'm gonna get to see a dragon hatch! Hagrid, my friend Hagrid who's the groundskeeper, he's got this dragon egg that he's going to hatch, and we're going to see it! Isn't that cool?
I mean, I sort of wanted to come home right after the troll attack, but I'm really glad I waited to write you. The Headmaster suggested that I should, and he was right! I was really scared, but nevermind, because I'm good. I'm great! I don't want to come home anymore! I'll see you guys at Christmastime!
Miss you all so much, and tell Molly that I've finally found a girl who's even less like a girl than she is. She'll get a kick out of that! Also, the Headmaster keeps asking me really weird questions, and the other day I was called in to meet with Ron's mom whose name is also Molly. That's really weird. I think he wants to see if I'd rather live with her, so I was just as surly and uncooperative as Uncle Harry can be when you're asking him to help you oppress a magical creature of some sort. Not that you would do that or anything.
I'm really looking forward to seeing you both over Christmas! Are you still going to visit the castle with us? That'll be so cool!
Love you!
-Harry
ooOOooOOoo
November 5th
Dearest Harry,
I don't even know where to begin with this letter. Please, please can you send us a letter without your 'may or may not'? You may or may not think that it softens the blow of whatever shocking thing is coming after it, but it doesn't. It instead serves as a red flag to make me aware that whatever is coming is something that I won't appreciate.
I do not like the idea of you engaging in combat with this mountain troll, but it's clearly too late to do anything about that. I am even less enamored of the idea of your conversations with the Headmaster. While I am not in the habit of bullying magical beings, I certainly approve of your imitation of your Uncle as he would be should I ever engage in such an act.
We are indeed still coming to the castle to fetch you, and I will not be picking a fight with Molly on your behalf while you are an ocean away. It was a good try, however. And please, please try to stay out of trouble for the next month.
You little scoundrel. You'll have to swear to tell me all about what that baby dragon looks like when it hatches. Do you have any idea how jealous I am? I've never seen a dragon before! I wasn't even sure they existed outside of mythology. Also, did you try Cold Iron against the troll? I've had some small amount of success with that. - Uncle Harry
Please don't try to find another mountain troll to try what Harry suggested. Stay safe, little one, and take care.
All our love,
Dad and Uncle Harry