I do not own the Hunger Games

Chapter 10

Hugging her to me, I breath in her scent. It's been so long. When I'm not with her, time seems to drag by, the hour seems to pass like a day and a day seems to pass like a week. But now, holding her in my arms, feels like forever… a forever that I'd gladly live in.

Lifting my head slightly from her neck, I look intently into her eyes. Pressing my forehead yet again to hers, I utter the words that's been reverberating inside me since my last glimpse of her, "I've missed you…"

I was surprised when she responded in kind, "And I missed you." Three words but the way she uttered them conveyed so much more.

"Let's not do this again… separation seems to be a non-option in future undertakings" I tell her jokingly. "How've you been Katniss?"

"Fine" then she frowns at me, "why didn't you answer my calls?"

"I'm sorry but they confiscated it…" the crease between her eyes deepens in worry at that answer. I shrug it off, trying to look unworried about that fact "…don't worry, I have it now."

Katniss pulls back and regards me in that careful way of hers, trying to decipher if I was lying or not. I fixed her with a steady gaze and step back as well, letting her see that I was okay.

"Do you have your luggage?" Eyeing the small duffel bag over my shoulders.

"Yes, but I left it in my compartment. We'll be leaving for the Victory Tour in a couple hours, didn't really see the use of bringing it out" I shrug nonchalantly and start to step off the platform. Stepping past her, I look over my shoulder, nodding my head onwards "C'mon, I want to see you District."

She walks towards and matches my pace. "Okay, we have to go see Prim first, she's been asking about you non-stop since I got here" She gestures straight ahead, past the Justice Building and all the other shops.

Looking ahead, I try not to notice the stares that follow us. The men from District 12 seems to be regarding me with mixed feelings, the old ones were wary or uninterested while the younger ones were definitely hostile.

I knew Fire Girl was popular and why not? The girls that I see staring at me didn't have her quality. She was unique, the ones I see following my form with barely suppressed longing and hunger are boring and sadly enough, predictable. Sighing ever so slightly in relief when we went past the town proper, I notice her cocking her head over to me in confusion.

Oblivious. I smile at her tightly to reassure her once again. I've never really done too much of that, reassuring people that I was okay. Back in Two, no one asked and no one bothered about your well being but ever since being with Fire Girl, all I've ever done is assure her that I was okay. She was unique like that. How can a Seam Girl care so much and give so much when she was scarcely clothed and barely fed? What a weird girl… Driving hunger usually pushed people to becoming more selfish, greedier not more giving.

Walking on, I notice that the streets become more rugged and unkempt. Dirt. That's what they call this District sometimes, Double D. The Dirt District. But we trudged on until I see the opening of the Victor's Village.

Huh, even the Victor houses in 12 are poorly made. It was just a two-storey house, plainly made. I guess compared to the ones in Town, it looks better but not by much.

Going towards the houses closest to the forest, we stop by the front door. She opens the door and when I try to step past the entrance, she stops me with a hand and looks down and then up at me, silently reprimanding. I stare at her in confusion.

She sighs in exasperation and stoops down, unlacing her boots and giving my foot a nudge.

Oh.

I start to take off my shoes as well. Once finished, we step inside their humble threshold. Instantly, the smell of plants hits my nostrils, minty, tangy, and refreshing. I breath in deep. Weird, that the inside of the house smells freer than the whole District.

Katniss walks to the bottom of a staircase and looks up, "Prim, Prim! I want you to meet someone" hearing small footsteps and a door opening and closing, I straighten my shoulders and prepare to meet the little girl that Katniss risked her life for.

…

My youngest child was in awe.

When I heard Katniss call out to Prim, I also found myself quite intrigued at this visitor. Coming from the kitchen, I was present just in time to see my little girl pause and stare in wide-eyed wonder at the tall young man in front of her.

I couldn't really blame her, even in my advanced age, I could appreciate a beautiful man. And the Victor from District Two is certainly that, he stood tall, easily beyond six feet with broad shoulders tapering into narrow waist. Strong legs and firm arms. They don't make boys like that in District 12 and as much as I like Gale and Peeta as suitors for Katniss, I have to admit that the young man standing in front of me is on a whole new league of his own.

On the other hand, he is also the kind of young man that you wouldn't want to be near your 16 going on 17 daughter, who from the looks of it, looks just as taken but in a slightly more mature way, as your youngest. A feeling of alarm race up my spine, this young man looks to be the kind that will either break or make your daughter into a woman.

I've never seen Katniss look at Peeta or Gale like this or any boy from District 12 for that matter.

As I watch, he kneels down to Prim's level and fixes her with a kind smile, all the while, extending his hand in friendship towards the clearly infatuated little girl.

"It's nice to finally meet you, Prim"

…

He looks like a prince!

I can't help but think this. The Capitol called Cato the Ice Prince and seeing him in person, the nickname doesn't seem as cheesy anymore. When I bounded down, excited to see who Katniss brought with her, I found myself stopping short of barreling into our visitor.

Looking up, his blond hair seems to glow with the sunlight passing through the open door, he has clear blue eyes and heavy eyebrows. And he's so tall. Taller than Gale and definitely taller than Peeta.

Best of all, Cato looks so strong.

"… meet you, Prim" I see him kneeling to me and I find myself suddenly embarrassed. Looking at him shyly, I give him a handshake, blushing all the while.

"Hi…" I say and step back to Katniss to hide a bit. It's a bit childish but I don't really know how to act in front of someone like him.

"Katniss talks about you all the time. She said that you like taking care of people and animals alike" He tells me warmly, straightening up again to his impressive height.

"I do." I nod vigorously and then ready myself, going back to the stairs, I climb about three steps to make me a bit closer to his height. I square my shoulders and then say "Thank you for saving Katniss. She's the best sister in the whole of Panem!"

Smiling warmly, he watches in amusement as I stand firmly in front of him, "I have no double about that. Your sister seems to be the best girl in the whole Panem as well"

My grin widens. He likes her! I knew it. Looking over to Katniss, I see her redden either in embarrassment or pleasure, I'm not really sure.

And so, that's what led me to ask him, "Do you love my sister?"

"Prim!" Katniss and mother both exclaim in astonishment.

"Boys at my school always teases and bullies the girls they like, at first. But after they always make up for it by giving them flowers or candy." I say, ignoring the horrified looks from both my mother and sister. "My teacher told me that sometimes boys don't really know how to express themselves and so they are always mean to the girls they like at first." Taking a deep breath "And you were very mean to Katniss at first but you saved her and gave her a gift… so do you love my sister?"

Cato's eyes shine in pleasure as he crooks his finger towards me. I lean towards him and he bends to whisper his answer to my ear so that only I could hear it.

I hear him softly whisper it and my eyes widen in delight. Clapping my hands in delight at his answer, I wrap my arms around his neck and jump towards him, kissing his cheek hard.

"It's nice to finally meet you too, Cato" Yes, it was really nice to meet this person at last. I was almost worried that my eldest sister would be without one but now that he's here, I have no doubt that Katniss will be okay as long as Cato is with her.

…

I watch in astonishment as Prim launches herself at Cato. And Cato effortlessly picking her up and supporting her back so that she doesn't fall down from her perch.

What did he say to her? I find myself wondering about it furiously. I look on as he turns towards my mother and Prim introduces them to each other as well.

My thoughts were interrupted by Cato's suggestion, "You better start packing now, Katniss. We'll have to leave for the train in an hour or so…"

"Oh, okay, but will you be okay to wait?"

"Of course, I have Prim here to entertain me, right?" He quirks his eyebrows at the little girl hanging onto him and tickles her. She giggles and hugs him tighter. My chest tightens a bit at the sight.

Since meeting Cato, I've been introduced to so much new feelings; helplessness and intense curiosity, most of all. As I trudge back to my bedroom, I feel my mother follow me at a distance.

Opening my room, I pull up a suitcase given to me by my prep team. I didn't have to pack much, I've basically just kept my dresses in their packaging since arriving in District 12. After all, I can't really hunt wearing full gowns, that would more likely scare off the animals…

Sighing, I add a few of my underwear and some simple shirts for the nights spent on the train. Busying my hands, my thought keeps coming back to Cato and Prim. What did he say to her?

I never noticed that my mother was standing in the doorway, gazing at me sadly and knowingly.

"So that's Cato…" Spinning, I look towards the door to my room to see my mother. I smile at her and gesture for her to come in.

"I'm just finishing up. Are you and Prim going to be okay while I'm gone?" I ask her in worry.

With an exasperated expression, my mother says, "Katniss, I told you before, we're okay. Your winnings are enough to last us two lifetimes."

"That's not what I mean."

Mother approaches me and sits at the edge of my bed. "I know and again, we're okay. It's you that I'm worried about… you're going to be out there and we don't really know what's going to happen with you when you see the other Districts." She helps me arrange my clothing.

"I'll be okay, we'll be surrounded by Peacekeepers when we go to other Districts. No one can even come as close as five feet of us" I tell her reassuringly. Also slightly put off by the tight security.

"Okay." She gives me a strained smile. "But I'm still also worried on what will happen between you, Cato, and Peeta. I mean, you three will be confined inside the train for long periods of time. Are you going to be okay with that? Are they going to be okay with that?"

"Oh." I never really thought about it and I suddenly remember my realization about mine and Peeta's relationship. "I have to talk to Peeta, don't I?" I ask her and for the first time in six years, I look on to my mother with a hopeful expression, silently asking her for advice.

She looks surprised and gazes at me for a long time. Assessing my expression, she asks me, "I guess, you've figured out your feelings now?"

I nod my head silently. "But I don't want to hurt him. Peeta has been my savior before the Games and my rock during those Games. He kept me grounded and endured my moods patiently without asking for anything in return." Turning my head down in shame, I bite my trembling lip. "This isn't fair to him…"

"Love isn't fair Katniss, most of the time, its really selfish and covetous. You'll hurt people in pursue of it and hurt more once you've gotten it." She says as if from experience.

"That sounds exhausting and painful… I could just settle for Peeta. He'll be good to me and I to him. We can have a good life… finding your one true love seems to never work out for people, look at Haymitch or you, for that matter" I tell her, though even as I utter it, I find myself internally shaking my head at the idea of just settling.

"Don't, Katniss." My mother looks to me sharply and for the first time, I see a fire in her eyes that's been missing since my father passed away. "I regret a lot of things, starting with my abandonment of the two of you but I never once regretted finding your father." Holding my gaze intently, she says "the feelings your father gave me in a minute is more intense than those feelings that I would have gotten in a lifetime, if I just settled in." She utters the word settle in disgust. "Everdeen's don't settle." She nods in finality. "That's what your father told mine when he suggested that your father set his eyes on a woman more suited to his lifestyle as a miner."

I smile a bit teary-eyed. My mother never actually talks about my father, mainly, because it seems too hard for her. So for her to tell me this is really precious.

"Still, I'm not looking forward to that conversation. I've been so cruel to him this past few days."

"That's just a preview of what will happen if you do settle. You'll be torn between feeling gratitude and hating him for not inciting in you feelings that Cato's been giving you. It's better to end it now than prolong both your suffering."

I stare at her in astonishment when she said Cato's name. After all, I never really mentioned anything about my feelings for Cato, platonic or otherwise. "What are you talking about? Cato and me are just friends." I tell her stiffly.

Quirking her eyebrow at me, she smiles in amusement. "C'mon, Katniss, I know that expression when I see it. You're already half-way there. The other half is you acknowledging those feelings…"

"I don't know what you're talking about." I tell her coldly. Stuffing my things in, I close it with a snap and carry it towards the door. "I'll be going down now." My mother shakes her head at me.

Going down the stairs, I see that Prim has introduced Cato to that hideous cat. Buttercup was purring in contentment, sitting on his lap, as he pets it gently while Prim talks his ear off the adventures of Lady and Buttercup.

"Everything okay here?" I ask. Cato looks towards me and sets Buttercup to the side. He walks towards me purposely and snatches the suitcase from my hands to help. I look towards Buttercup, who's hissing at me in jealousy over being set aside. Feeling petty, I look towards the ugly cat in triumph.

Cato smiles at me. "It seems that Prim here has been onto adventures much more exciting that ours." I love the way he says ours. Makes the games less grotesque and for that I'm grateful. "You took your sweet time getting ready."

"My mother was worried about us… for what will happen during the Victory Tour." I tell him only half the truth. Cato looks to my mother in understanding. He seems to have a soft spot for all the Everdeen women. "I'll protect her Mrs. Everdeen, you may count on it. But if you're really worried…" He puts down my suitcase and searches inside his duffel bag. Lifting a box, he hands it to her.

My mother looks bewildered at the box and so he explains. "It's similar to Katniss' phone. So that you can contact her anytime..." He says a bit shyly. My mother smiles gratefully and hugs him to her in thanks.

"But how about you?" Little Duck asks worriedly, ever faithful to her Prince charming.

"I can easily replace that and I'll give you my number as well. So don't hesitate to call."

"This must have helped your parents immensely" My mother tells him gently, smiling with newfound respect for the Victor from Two.

"Oh. No, umm, my father and mother died when I was young." He says this a bit reluctantly. Looking towards me, he looks helpless.

"Oh, I'm so sorry…"

"No worries. It was better that way." He says bitterly. My look of confusion prompted for more details. "Life wasn't good to them both." Then he shut down.

My mother now gazed at Cato in maternal sympathy and surprise of surprise, hugs him to her tighter than the last. Prim also joins in.

"Well, you'll always have us, right, Katniss?" Little Duck asks me.

"Yes, of course." I tell her automatically, offering him a small smile, trying to convey my wholehearted agreement to that arrangement.

"I'm holding all three of you to that…" He says mysteriously.

A knock on the door interrupts our little cocoon. Going towards the door, I open it to see Peeta accompanied by his brothers.

"Peeta! Come in, come in…" I usher them inside. He tries to give me a peck on the lips but I turn my head at the last minute so his kiss lands on my cheek. Frowning slightly at that, he continues but freezes abruptly at seeing my visitor.

"Cato." He says the name in a slightly flat voice. I suddenly feel an undercurrent of hostility pass from Peeta onto his brothers who automatically, flock to his sides and looks on at Cato as if he's an intruder.

"Peeta" He acknowledges him with a slight incline of his head and mockingly eyes the two burly boys on each of his side.

Peeta looks slightly embarrassed for some reason. "What are you doing here?"

"My train arrived a bit early. District 12 is the first stop in the Victory tour. Since there's three Victors, two from 12 and one from Two, we'll be going back here as a final stop." Cato explains.

"Oh, I guess that makes sense." Peeta still looks to Cato suspiciously and snakes his arms towards my waist intending to pull me to him. I shrug it off at once and make for my family, giving them a final farewell, promising to call.

Turning around again, I see that Peeta is introducing his brothers to Cato.

"By the way, these are my brothers." He gestures towards the two stocky men at his either side. Advancing on Cato almost threateningly, they hold their hands out for his to shake.

I see one of them squeeze his hand not customarily; Cato winces slightly but then smiles ferally and returns the favor much more so. I see Peeta's brother scrunch his face in barely concealed pain and yank his hand abruptly. It's almost funny, the Mellarks were considered to be strong men because of their build. Working in the bakery, kneading dough and manually mixing ingredients has made their upper body quite big. But seeing them now in front of Cato, they look less; less strong, less intimidating, and just less.

I sigh inwardly, I've stopped trying to compare Cato to the boys I've met here or otherwise, anyone seems to just fall short. No pun intended.

"Well, we better go now. Haymitch might be frothing at the mouth with our delay." I instruct them, wanting for them to just move. Reaching for my luggage, I was stopped when Cato tries to get to it at the same time. Electricity runs through my fingers at the contact. Snatching my hand back, as if scorched, I stare in surprise at him. Cato simply looks at me silently and picks up my luggage, heading towards the door.

Looking one last time to my mother and Prim, I smile at them and wave goodbye. Prim looks on happily but my mother looks on knowingly. Turning my back before I further embarrass myself, I follow the boys.

"Will Katniss be okay, Mom?" I hear Prim ask.

"Of course, Prim, after all, she's with Cato, right?" I close the door, smiling slightly. From the corner of my eye, I see Cato smile as well.

As such, I didn't see Peeta clench his hands.

…

I thought that I was over these feelings of insecurity. Yet, one small statement and look is all that's needed for it to come back with a force. I hate this feeling of incompetence but that's all I've ever felt when in his presence.

Constantly being compared to the Victor from Two always left me wanting.

I thought that with the two-week reprieve, my relationship with Katniss will progress enough so that when we meet again with Two, her feelings for him would have disappeared completely.

But that didn't happen.

They were in regular contact, talking to each other over the phone and when not, Katniss is usually out hunting with Gale or spending time with Prim. Sure, we went out, frequently, some would say but to me, it just wasn't enough.

I introduced her to some of my friends and she was polite but came off as cold because of the usual restraint that she shows those new to her. It was especially awkward because I was actually just reintroducing her to the same kids that bullied her when she was young.

Our picnics were also not the romantic scene that I've imagined. No smiling or playful antics, just the two of us eating silently, with me, always trying to get her to share more about herself; unfortunately, she never did.

During our walks, I even found her with a distant look and in those moments, I felt that she was too far for me to reach anymore. I wasn't stupid, I know that with the end of the games, the adrenaline and air of danger was severely diluted. Her feelings for me seems to mellow down, down until it's almost platonic. Our kisses were just as powerful for me but obviously not for her.

And now, with the boy from District Two with her, it seems that I'm relegated once again in the background. Katniss' mother assurance that Katniss will be alright because Cato would be with her is just another hit to my already battered ego.

I'm used to it. It seems that since the Games, everyone has been poking at it with a sharp knife, endlessly and carelessly. Walking ahead of Katniss and Cato, I try not to listen in to their easy conversation.

Is he better because he protected her and I didn't? Is he better because of his looks? Is he better because he understands her better? I know that I never killed anyone during the games. The Girl that Cato wanted dead was already halfway there and Foxface was accidental, so I don't really know the feeling of taking a life deliberately.

I once broached the topic of Katniss with my father, telling him of my frustrations and the insecurity that I always feel when around her. Looking to me in understanding and sadness, he answered me. "Peeta, if you have to try that hard then one of you just don't want this relationship and I don't think it's you, son… I'm sorry."

I deny it vehemently, I asked Katniss point blank, "Do you love me? Real or not real?" and she said real.

Real. That's right, my relationship with Katniss was real. After gazing longingly at her from afar for a decade, I've finally been able to get the girl, the Girl on Fire and no one is going to take her away from me.

…

Seeing five silhouettes approaching from afar, I frown trying to decipher them. There's three stocky boys in front, signature of the Mellark boys. Then a girl was behind them, her stride purposeful and fast, Katniss' signature.

And then, a tall man was beside her, leisurely strolling, his long strides enough to match her short fast ones. Frowning again, I try to decipher who it is walking alongside Katniss. My eyes slightly widen in alarm at seeing the outline of his physique. Shit. It's the District Two Victor.

Tapping my foot in impatience, I wait for them to reach the train platform, readying myself to reprimand Katniss for bringing the Brutal Boy into District 12. He was supposed to just stay in the train.

She beat me to the punch, looking to me straight, she snarls "Shut it, Haymitch. I don't want to start this tour in a bloodbath." Shoving past me, I see the Brutal Boy from Two smirking at me.

Staring him down is a bit hard considering his height, but I can glare at him all I want. "You know, she was never this antagonizing before… must be your effect."

The Boy shrugs nonchalantly. "Don't know about that but I'm not really complaining, as long as it's not directed at me." I wanted to wipe off that smirk from his face.

"Just get in there" I grumble. Damn it, I need a drink.

I turn towards my other Tribute Victor, Peeta says farewell to his brothers and promises to come back with presents. Nice kid, that boy. Unfortunately, sweetheart prefers the dangerous kind and seems to see Peeta more as a puppy. This really isn't the job for someone as old as me. Matchmaking was never my strong suit, sure I invented the Starcrossed Lovers but that was only a one time deal. Hell, I thought that only one of them will come out alive. But no, Katniss has to be Katniss and I ended up with a love triangle from hell.

Despite the waning affections that I see in Katniss' eyes for the Boy with the Bread, I still recognize deep gratitude in those grey eyes. That's worth something. I just hope that it would be enough.

Going inside the train, I ready myself for the Victory Tour in true Haymitch fashion; I go directly to the liquor bar.

We'll just have to see what happens. But even to my inebriated brain, I see the obvious pattern. Peeta gazes at Katniss in longing and devotion, while Katniss stares at the District Two Victor in wonder.

What's more disquieting is that I see District Two returning her look equally.

…

End of Chapter 10