Chapter 10: Super-Bounce
Disclaimer: Only my stuff is mine.
A/N: I am SO SO SO SO SO SO sorry!! It's been more than a week since I updated. Very, very, very extremely sorry! There's no excuse, but my bastard English teacher made a snide comment about a report I turned in. He told me I was too wordy and wrote 'elliptically.' Bastard. Oh, well. His opinions. It just kinda threw me off with the "writing mood."
But, I'm back! And I figured I'd bring a Hammond flub into this. LOL. It's pretty blunt. Warning and age limit still stand. Bwahahaha! This is my personal favorite. Just cause it's so…
You'll see.
Again, AU cause Daniel's not dead.
Spoilers for "Paradise Lost" season 6.
ENJOY!!
Jack strolled down the corridors of the SGC with a slight bounce in his step. He had never thought he'd be so happy to see these grey walls again. He'd only been back from that goddamn deserted "paradise" a week, but those seven days had done wonders. His leg was healing nicely and the painful twangs of 'homesickness' had disappeared.
The minute the Tok'ra had dropped him back off at the SGC he had been rushed by Daniel. The man had thrown his arms around Jack's neck before the Colonel knew what was happening. After steadying himself, he hugged the archaeologist back. Anyone else, he would not have shown such emotion (for fear it would be misconstrued as…nevermind), but Daniel was Daniel.
And he did love the space monkey. As a brother, that is.
The younger man had been babbling nonsense even as he still held tight to Jack. And when Jack said tight…he meant tight. The space monkey sure had beefed up in the last few years. The only words Jack had managed to catch were, "Worried…Gone for so long…Sam…snapped at Dr. Lee…nearly drove herself into the ground…" and after that, it had been unintelligible.
Though what he had heard was worrisome. What had Carter done? He had no doubts that it was her who had gotten him back. But…what the hell did she do to herself in the process?
He had gotten his answer when the crowd of "welcome back" wishers had parted when she entered the gateroom. Her eyes had been focused on her boots, but she slowly brought her gaze to meet his. Dark circles underscored her eyes, and there was a haunted look about her face. She looked thinner and an air of weariness surrounded her. Jack also noticed the way some of the personnel were keeping a wary distance.
Jack had grinned inwardly. He knew what a pissed Carter could do. And, apparently, some of the base personnel had…pissed her off. Royally.
Jack had given her a small smile. "Carter." He said and took a step towards her, lifting his arms slightly from his sides in a tentative gesture.
Sam had closed her eyes and let out a breath, before stepping into his arms and wrapping her own tightly around him, taking a deep breath. "Glad to have you back, sir." She murmured into his chest.
"Glad to be back, Carter." He had responded. After a moment they both pulled back, aware of their surroundings. He squeezed her shoulders and gave her another smile. "Thanks." He said quietly.
Sam had flushed and shook her head quickly. "Wasn't just me. It was--," he held up a hand.
"Daniel already told me." He dropped his chin a little, giving her another grateful smile.
……………………………..
Jack stopped outside of Carter's lab and knocked briefly on the open door. He had been so caught up in his memories that he hadn't even realized where his feet were taking him. He was glad that his old habits had come back to him so easily after his…absence.
Sam glanced up, her heart giving a start. After him being gone for so long, it was wonderful having him stroll into her lab whenever he pleased. "Sir." She acknowledged, giving him a small smile before dropping her eyes back to the artifact she was working on.
"Carter." He sat on her stool (as she was currently occupying the floor) and picked up a…doohickey. "Briefing in T-minus fifteen." He reminded her, frowning when the thing he was holding began to whir.
"Sir!" Carter jumped up and snatched the thing from his hands before tossing it across her workbench. No less than three seconds after it left his hand, had five inch long spikes shot out of every available surface on the artifact. Really, really sharp…pointy…spikes.
That would have hurt. A lot.
"Geez, Carter! What the hell are you doing with things like that?" he demanded, gesturing his hands toward the pokey thing. He knew they dealt with situations way more dangerous than that...but…why did she have to take the risks?
"Your welcome, sir." Sam smiled briefly at him, his small nod of thanks taking the edge off his words. "And, yes, I remember the briefing. I was actually getting ready to leave…" Sam gestured towards her door.
"Kicking me out, Carter?" he teased, standing.
Sam blinked, his smile disarming her slightly. "No, sir?" It came out more like a question.
Jack rolled his eyes. "C'mon." He grasped her elbow, pleased when she didn't stiffen or pull away, and began dragging her to the door.
"Wait, no…sir." She pleaded, but made no effort to move from his strong grip. "My experiments…" she watched helplessly as Jack dragged her out the door and down the corridor, her lab disappearing from view. "Well, fine." She straightened her BDU jacket when he released her arm, and shot him a playful look. "If it blows up, I'll just blame you."
"Can't blame me." He shrugged.
"No? And why is that?"
"Cause." He shrugged smugly and kept his eyes ahead of him.
"Cause." She repeated, disbelievingly. 'What is he…two?'
"Yep."
Sam waited for further elaboration, but soon realized she wasn't getting any. Instead, she sighed and shook her head. God, she had missed him.
"Hey, Sam, Jack." Daniel said as the Colonel and Major entered the briefing room. He was already seated at the table, coffee and mission folder in hand. Teal'c was sitting next to him and nodded his greetings to the pair.
"Daniel, Teal'c." They said at the same time. Daniel glanced up, blinking rapidly. It was always disconcerting when they did that. Teal'c merely raised an eyebrow. Sam and Jack shared an amused look before sitting on the opposite side from Danny and T.
"Oh! Jack, I almost forgot…" Daniel frowned as he reached into his pocket and produced two small super-bounce balls. "You left these in my office before your…vacation." Jack rolled his eyes at Daniel's choice of words. "I found them when I…oh so gracefully tripped over them."
Jack raised his eyebrow, laughter in his eyes. "Yeah, I'd been wondering where I left those." He reached out his hand and took the toys from Daniel. The archaeologist glared at him. "Thanks, Danny."
Daniel snorted. "No problem."
Sam glanced at Teal'c, his mouth was quirked in the tiniest of smiles and he seemed to be as amused by the banter as the Major. It had been too long since they heard that.
"SG-1." Hammond stepped out of his office and greeted his flagship team. It was good to have all of them there. They were preparing for their first mission since Colonels Maybourne and O'Neill had gotten trapped offworld. Jack had been anxious to get back out there, but Janet and Hammond had insisted that he take a week off.
The two military officers in SG-1 rose from their seats in respect. He nodded to them and took his own seat and waited until they had retaken theirs before speaking. "It's good to have you back, SG-1."
They all nodded their consent and waited for the General to continue. "Dr. Jackson, if you would be so kind as to enlighten us about the upcoming mission?" Hammond gestured for Daniel to…enlighten. Daniel nodded and began to speak.
Jack half-listened. Rocks…blah, blah….trees….blah…peaceful peoples…so on and so forth. Jack, after glancing surreptiously around, took out the bouncy balls and held them an equal distance above the table.
Doink. Doink. Doink. He let them bounce three times before snatching them up again. He knew that he really shouldn't be doing this. As great a rapport as he had with the General…his tolerance of Jack only went so far. 'Those weeks of 'solitude' have done a number on my judgment.' Jack thought idly. 'Not that I had much to begin with…'
Daniel chose to ignore Jack's antics and the soft chuckles coming from Sam. The General squeezed his eyes shut and counted to ten, before refocusing on the Doctor.
Doink. Doink. Doink. Doink. Doink. Doink. Doink. Each sound increased in rapidity the more it bounced. Jack caught them before they bounced off the table. Leaning back, he gave Sam a slow, lazy smile and dropped the bouncy balls again. She blushed at the flirtatiousness in his expression and stifled a laugh as the balls hit the table.
Hammond did his best to focus on what Daniel was saying, but the 'doinking' had become very irksome. He flicked his gaze to his 2IC, debating whether to yell at him to put them away or to just reach over and grab them himself. In a fit of laziness, Hammond decided against the second option. He also discarded the first option, knowing the Colonel would probably only stop for a little while before resuming his playing.
No…he would have to get someone else to take it from Jack. Daniel and Teal'c were too far away, so that left…Sam.
Daniel had stopped talking and was now glaring at Jack, half amused, half annoyed. Teal'c was also staring at the Colonel, an eyebrow raised and a slightly reproving grimace on his lips. Sam was looking at the table, fighting to hide her smile.
Jack raised his eyes to the General in the sudden silence. Smirking mischievously he held eye contact with Hammond as he raised his hands, the toys clutched in his fingers, daring the General with his eyes to stop him. Jack cocked his head in a 'too late' gesture and released the toys.
Doink. Doink. Doink. Doink. Jack grabbed them again, grin in place.
That was it.
How dare the man have such audacity!
General Hammond took a deep breath and, with a fierce glare, raised his voice past the point of shouting. "Major Carter! Seize Colonel O'Neill's balls!"
A stunned silence followed his words.
A silence that was broken when Daniel's limp hand released his coffee cup and sent it shattering to the floor.
Still, no one spoke. Daniel's mouth was agape, his eyes darting between the reddening, very embarrassed General, the stunned Jack, and the flushed, shocked Sam. The balls rolled onto the floor, forgotten. Teal'c sat back in his chair, folding his hands over his stomach, eyebrow still raised and a definite smirk lighting his features.
Realizing that they couldn't just sit in stunned silence any longer, the General made an attempt to rectify his mistake. Jack's expression had already moved from stunned to amused and slightly smug.
"That…that was—was…did not…I mean—it's…" Hammond spluttered waiting for his military brusqueness to kick back in. 'Come on…anytime now…' Hammond very rarely slipped up so badly. He was always very careful not to say anything misleading or provocative or indicative of something inappropriate. Especially when it came to these two officers. Sure, it was fine when he and the other base members were joking around off the record, but…never to their faces. And never in the briefing room.
Damn.
Daniel, just noticing that his hand was no longer occupied by a cup, cleared his throat. All eyes turned to him; the General's blue gaze was almost pleading. Daniel gulped and smiled nervously. "I…uh…" chickening out at the last second (or perhaps enjoying watching the General flounder a little too much), he quickly changed his line of thought. "I, uh, need a mop." He smiled sheepishly.
Hammond glared at him before beseechingly turning to Teal'c.
"Is there something you wish of me, General Hammond?" Teal'c asked, being purposely dense. He, too, enjoyed watching the usually dignified man stutter.
Hammond flushed deeper, now greatly resembling a plum. "No, Teal'c. Nothing. Thank you." He spoke through clenched teeth. Sam was now staring at her hands, which were fiddling restlessly on her thighs. Her shoulders were shaking slightly and Hammond feared that she was crying. That is…until he realized she was laughing.
Jack noticed it too, and grinned. This was too rich. Hammond telling Carter to…to…Jack burst out laughing. Which caused Sam's near silent giggles to turn into full blown laughter as well. Daniel coughed loudly and hurriedly turned toward the large picture window overlooking the gate. His shoulders were shaking and Hammond realized with horror that he was laughing too. Teal'c glanced at all of their mirth-filled faces, then locked eyes with Hammond.
Grinning slightly, the big Jaffa searched his mind for the phrase that O'Neill had taught him a long while ago. "It seems, General Hammond, that you have inserted your foot into your mouth."
Hammond groaned. Setting his face into his best "General" glare, he surveyed SG-1. "Not a word of this leaves this room. If I so much as hear an allusion to this…incident…I will make sure you all fly desks for the rest or your natural born lives." His voice was low and menacing.
"Yes, sir." Sam and Jack spoke simultaneously again. Their voices were low and choked with barely contained humor. Daniel just nodded his head, his back still towards the rest of the group. Teal'c continued to smirk.
Hammond stood up abruptly and spun towards his office, sighing inwardly. He had officially lost all control of SG-1. It didn't bother him that much; they were an extremely capable team…no…he just didn't want any word of what he said to leave that room. Losing control over his flagship was one thing…losing control of the entire base was something completely different.
As Hammond reached his office door, he heard Dr. Jackson's amused voice laughing around his words. "Wonder if he remembered the security cameras in here? Five bucks says that line is playing over the intercom by morning."
He also heard Jack's mirth-filled voice. He had been expecting this comment. But that didn't mean he wanted to hear it.
"You know, Carter…the General did order you to--," his sly, mischievous voice was cut off by an embarrassed (and very un-Carter-like) squeal.
"Sir!"
"What?" Jack was the picture of innocence. "He ordered you to, Carter." God, he loved messing with her like this. If only…'No!' Jack kicked himself inwardly in a futile attempt to banish those thoughts.
Fat chance of that happening.
Oh, he had it bad.
Jack snickered when the General's door slammed shut. He winked at Sam and stood up.
"Cake, anyone?"
TBC
A/N: Stupid, yes. But hilariously fun to write! LOL. Please R&R!!