Ok, so ... Here's the penultimate chapter, I'm very sad about it, but I have to finish with it. Honestly, I've got the full story over since more than 5 months ago! I suppose I'll have to release the last one before Christmas, both here as on Veritaserum. But for the moment... enjoy it! Oh, and sorry because this chapter isn't beta-ed.

Dess

Lyrics: "The Reason" ─ Hoobastank

Shared Moments Ten: Painful Uncertainties

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you

They walked, silent, soiled, injured, towards the Weasleys, to spend with them every last minute before the final battle. Hermione saw Ginny, and went up to hug her. She wasn't able to interfere with their pain, not to face them and tell them words that they needn't know. He, instead, joined to their brothers, to mourn his brother's death, and over Ginny's shoulder, she could not help but think of how brave he was after all, and wonder whether he'd liked or not her company right now.

'Ginny, I'm very sorry. We couldn't do nothing … nothing. And now …' Tears poured down her eyes at the sight of Fred lying lifeless there. And then her eyes wandered to the bodies near on the floor … 'No. How … How …? Lupin ─ Tonks …'

'Bellatrix … killed Tonks. We don't know who murdered Remus,' said the shaking voice of Ginny. 'Are you all right? Where's Harry? He … he isn't giving up himself, is he?' she said, her eyes wide-open and terror in every feature of her face.

'No. He's going upstairs … to do something.'

'I wish I'd tell him how much I ─ I love him just once again. You have to stop him. He'll probably … he'll probably … go with Voldemort.'

And she burst in tears. Meanwhile, Ron kneeled beside Mrs Weasley, and put an arm around her.

'R ─ Ron ─ you ─ you are all ─ all right,' she said, taking her younger son's face in her hands and beginning kissing him, which Ron didn't avoid.

After a while, when Mrs Weasley released him to keep crying, he stood up, and without looking at anybody, set out to the hallway.

'Go with him,' whispered Ginny to Hermione. 'He really need you, my brother. I know he loves you, Hermione, but I don't know whether he even realizes of it. I'll be fine, don't worry. I think I better go with Neville and Luna, to recover ─ to recover the bodies.'

And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be

Uncertainly, but craving for go with Ron, Hermione released Ginny and strode across the Great Hall. But in the Entrance Hall, there was anybody. She decided to try in the school's courtyard, and so there she went. Indeed, a few yards ahead, on a stone bench, was Ron, his hair and his white nape the only things visible through the still pitch black landscape.

She approached him, not knowing how he could react at her appearance, because they hadn't been alone since their kiss …

At last, Hermione sat down beside him and set a hand upon the one he had on the bench. He turned round at her touch and said quietly, 'Hermione.'

'How are you, Ron?'

Even by the moonlight, it was clear that both were blushed. Hermione knew that the question was stupid, but what could she say?

'I'm sorry. I know you wanted to take revenge, but I couldn't ─'

'Why did you kiss me?'

'What?'

The suddenness of the question took her unprepared.

'I mean … did you feel pity at me? At seeing me crawling for you, all these months? I didn't said that of the house-elves so that you kiss me or something, I said it because I felt it, do you know how I'm feeling right now, as I realise what we did? Well, I feel like ... confused, and ─ terrified, and sad … and angry with myself. And why did you come here with me? To tell me all of that, that you got confused because of the battle, that you'd like to keep friends with me as ever and forget all this long night, if we survive?'

He said this quickly, not letting Hermione to say any word. At last, she was out of breath, as he stood up and took a few steps away from her. How could he think that? Without being able to hold it, she cried, 'Are you stupid or what?'

'Sorry?'

'How can you even imagine that? I thought you knew me, I'm not that kind of person, am I? Ron, I ─ I kissed you because ─ I ─ I love you. I didn't know either you felt the same for me, or you would like it or not, but I didn't care; I only kissed you because I've ─ felt this for you all this time, and I couldn't pretend anymore! But if it's you who feel angry at me, if it's my presence annoying you, then just tell me and I'll go!'

A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday

Bitter tears were pouring down her face now, but she moved towards him and pulled his arm to force Ron face her. His eyes were shiny when he looked at her, but then he drooped himself on the bench again, with a gloomy expression on his face.

'I wish I were died.'

She was surprised again at the change of mood.

'Don't said that. If you've died … I'd die too.' Her voice break at the end of the sentence. 'Ron, really, I don't ─ how can you be saying that? Is it because of me?' Ron was shaking his head.

'It's because I do l—'

'Harry Potter is dead. He was killed as he ran away, trying to save himself while you lay down your lives for him. We bring you his body as proof that your hero is gone.'

Ron stopped dead, turned white; Hermione began to tremble. Voldemort kept speaking, but they were frozen: everything else was lost for them.

'No. No, he's lying. Come, come on!' said Ron, springing to his feet and taking Hermione's hand, sprinting back to the castle. Everything else could wait, and it would be better.

And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears