For anyone wondering how long this story will be, I'm not entirely sure. Part one (which is based off season 1) will have a total of 71 chapters! I'm not quite sure how often I'll update. It will depend on it the chapter is based off of an episode or if I am doing the chapter mostly from scratch.
CHAPTER NINE:
Arts and Crafts and Things Like That
I entered the living room to see Dipper and Mabel watching a show on television called Duck-tective. Mabel was knitting a new sweater and Dipper was eating popcorn from a bowl. Mabel reached for some popcorn, but Dipper slapped her hand.
I sat down next to Dipper and looked at the TV.
"I'm afraid your services won't be required here sir," the man said to Duck-tective "My men have examined the evidence, and this is obviously an accident."
Duck-tective started quacking and the subtitles read: An accident, constable? Or is it...Murder?!
"What?!" the man exclaimed, before the show went to a commercial.
Mabel dropped her sweater and gasped. "That duck is a genius!"
Dipper shrugged. "Eh, it's easier to find clues when you're that close to the ground," he said.
"So true," I agreed and Mabel picked me up. Of course.
"Are you saying you could outwit Duck-tective?" Mabel asked skeptically as I squirmed.
"Mabel, I have very keen powers of observation," Dipper replied "For example, just by smelling your breath, I can tell that you have been eating..." he sniffed. "...an entire tube of toothpaste?!"
"It was so sparkly..." she defended, her mouth covered in blue toothpaste.
I managed to get free and landed on the chair.
Suddenly, Soos ran into the room. "Hey, dudes!" he said "You'll never guess what I found!"
"Buried treasure!" Dipper guessed.
"Buried—" Mabel stopped. She laughed and pushed Dipper playfully. "Hey, I was gonna say that!"
I followed Soos and the twins down the hall.
"So, I was cleaning up, when I found this secret door, hidden behind the wallpaper," he said as we walked. "It's crazy bonkers creepy!"
He opened the door and we go in. The room was filled with several different wax sculptures of famous people. I shuddered, I knew that they were probably watching us.
Dipper shined a flashlight around. "Whoa! It's a secret wax museum!" he exclaimed.
Mabel looked around in amazement. "They're so life-like," she said.
Dipper pointed to Stan. "Except for that one," he said.
"Hello!" he shouted.
Dipper, Mabel, and Soos all jumped and screamed in surprise.
Grunkle Stan chuckled. "It's just me, your Grunkle Stan!" he said.
They screamed even louder and ran away.
I looked back at Grunkle Stan.
"Whadda you lookin' at?" he asked me and then left the room.
He came back a bit later with Dipper and Mabel. "Behold the Gravity Falls Wax Museum!" he said. "It was one of our most popular attractions... before I forgot all about it," he paused. "I got 'em all! Genghis Khan, Sherlock Holmes, some kind of, I don't know, goblin man?"
Dipper shuddered. "Is anyone else getting the creeps here?" he asked
"Most definitely," I replied, then did a mental face-palm.
"Oh, hey, Snuggles!" Mabel said.
I realized too late that she was going to pick me up and wasn't able to avoid it. I always hated when Mabel held me, because she would hold me way too tight.
Stan ignored what was going on and continued. "And now for my personal favorite: Wax Abraham Lincoln, right over—" he trailed off and looked at a melted glob of wax on the floor. "Oh! Oh no! Come on, who left the blinds open?" he asked "Wax John Wilkes Booth, I'm looking in your direction!" He bent down and put finger in the wax. He sighed. "How do you fix a wax figure?" he asked us.
Mabel put me down and went over to him. "Cheer up, Grunkle Stan," she said "Where's that smile?"
"Eh."
"Beep, bop, boop!" Mable said, as she cheerfully poked Grunkle Stan in the face.
"Ow," he said, as was poked in the eye.
"Don't worry, Grunkle Stan," Mabel said "I'll make you a new wax figure from all this old wax!"
Grunkle Stan raised an eyebrow. "You really think you can make one of these puppies?" he asked.
"Grunkle Stan, I'm an arts and crafts master," Mabel said confidently "Why do you think I always have this glue gun stuck to my arm?" She held up her arm, which had a glue gun glued to it. "Eh, Augh!" she said, shaking her arm
"I like your gumption, kid!" Grunkle Stan said.
"I don't know what that word means, but thank you!"
Dipper entered the room drinking soda and walking towards Mabel.
"Dipper!" Mabel said, startling him and he started choking on his soda.
"What do you think of my wax figure idea?" Mabel asked and she showed Dipper a drawing in her sketch-book. "She's part fairy princess, and part horse fairy princess!"
"Maybe you should carve something from real life," Dipper suggested.
Mabel showed Dipper another drawing. "Like a waffle, with big arms!"
"Yeah, okay... Or, you know, something else," he said "Like- like someone in your family."
Grunkle Stan entered the room. "Kids," he said "have you seen my pants?" He posed on a briefcase.
Mabel looked towards the ceiling. "Oh, muse," she said "You work in mysterious ways."
Grunkle Stan looked at Dipper. "Why's your sister talking to the ceiling?" he asked.
Mabel stepped back to admire her work. "I think..." she said "it needs more glitter."
"Agreed," Soos said, as he handed Mabel a bucket of glitter.
Mabel tossed the entire bucket onto the wax figure. I sneezed as a piece of glitter landed on my nose.
Grunkle Stan walked in. "I found my pants but now I'm missing my—" be broke off as he noticed Wax Stan. He yelled and fell over.
"What do you think?" Mabel said, going over to him.
"I think... the Wax Museum's back in business!" he cried.
I sat on the table where Dipper and Wendy were selling tickets and watched as Soos directed people to see the grand opening of the Wax Museum with a pair of corndogs. He took a bite of one, then went back to directing.
"I can't believe this many people showed up," Dipper commented and I looked towards him and Wendy.
"I know, right?" Wendy agreed "Your uncle probably bribed them or something."
"He bribed me," Dipper said. He held up a dollar bill.
Wendy responded by also holding up a dollar. They both laughed.
All three of us winced as the sound of feedback came from the direction of the stage.
"Hey, I think it's starting!" Wendy said.
Dipper stood up and followed Wendy to the stage. I jumped down and ran after them.
"As you know, I always bring the people of this fair town novelties and befuddlements, the likes of which the world, has never known," Grunkle Stan said "But enough about me. Behold... me!" he said, uncovering Wax Stan.
Soos made a fanfare sound with his keyboard, then made a "Ye-ah! Ye-ye-ye-ye-ye-ah!" sound.
Two people in the audience politely clapped and someone coughed.
"And now a word from our own Mabelangelo!" Grunkle Stan said.
"It's Mabel," she said as she took the microphone. "Thank you for coming!" she called out "I made this sculpture with my own two hands! It's covered in my blood, sweat, tears, and other fluids!"
People in the audience groaned in disgust.
Mabel chuckled "I will now take questions!" Someone in the back raised their hand. "You there!" Mabel called.
"Old Man McGucket, local kook," he introduced himself. "Are the wax figures alive?" he asked "And follow-up question, can I survive the wax-man uprising?"
Mabel looked confused. "Um...Yes!" she answered. Mabel pointed to Toby Determined. "Next question!"
Toby held up a turkey baster as if it were a microphone. "Toby Determined, Gravity Falls Gossiper," he said "Do you really think this constitutes a wonder of the world?"
Grunkle Stan stared at Toby. "Your microphone's a turkey baster, Toby."
Toby looked at his 'microphone'. "It certainly is," he said.
"Next question," Stan said, pointing to someone else.
"Shandra Jimenez, a real reporter," she said. "Your flyers promised free pizza with admission to this event. Is this true?"
Audience members murmured.
"Uh...That was a typo," Stan said "Good night, everyone!" He used a smoke bomb to escape, taking the admission fee with him.
The audience began to leave.
A guy with a T-shirt that said: Free Pizza! sadly walked off.
"In your face!" Manly Dan said as he punched a pole.
"I think that went well," Mabel said.