Another Merlin fic. Sigh, I've become obsessed with another show. Anyways, I don't own Merlin, that's BBC's job. [jealous] This will be another rated M fic in my collection, so be warned there will be male sex, violence, and spousal abuse. If you can't read this kind of stuff, than stop and turn around. Anyone else, is welcome of course and I would love reviews.

Until Next Time

~Reiya

xXx

Let Me Be Your Magic

Chapter 10.

Morgana watched Merlin like a hawk. Something was off about the pale boy and she could just sense it. Except for the customary greeting, he hadn't spoken once today as he walked with her through the many shops. No complaints, grumbles or moans at having to try on clothing. This was most definitely not like him.

Coupled with the dream from last night, and she was on red alert. She could only remember seeing flashing gold eyes and broken glass, specks of blood dotting their transparent surface. She shivered just to remember it.

She needed to corner Arthur and pry out what had happened to cause this. She thought this side of him had disappeared weeks ago when they had first gotten him to go to that club.

As if he had been summoned, she saw the said blond headed their way. Using a subtle gesture, she beckoned him over. Turning to Merlin, she asked sweetly, "Could you get us a table?" He looked down at the bags in his had. They had been heading to the car to stash them before eating. "Oh, don't worry, I'll get Arthur to do it." He looked over his shoulder to see what she was looking at and nodded.

He set them down and headed for the food court. Arthur walked up, eyebrows mashed together in a frown as he watched his pale boyfriend walk off to the other side of the mall. "Morgana, what–"

"Not now. Grab the bags and follow me. I need to talk with you outside." She turned on heel and started towards the exit.

A few minutes later, they were outside and next to the car. She unlocked the door and let him set them in the back seat before shutting it. He turned to her. "Now, what is it you want to talk about?" He asked warily.

"What has happened between you two to make Merlin like that?" She demanded.

He blinked, surprised to say the least. "Nothing. We went out diner at father's new restaurant for his cancer fundraiser…but…"

"But what?" She demanded.

"I'm…not sure. We were in the middle of dinner and than he just seemed to freeze up, like he'd seen a ghost or something. The idiot had his knife in his hand and cut himself on it. So I took him to the bathroom to clean him off and left for a few minutes to get a first aid kit. I came back and he was talking to some old acquaintance of his that had spotted him. He seemed to get worse after that."

He looked worried, which was saying something, since he was like his father and tended to hide these thing behind a mask. This just worried her even more.

"An old acquaintance, you say? Describe him." She demanded.

"Tall, pale, blue eyed, black hair…actually, he looked like he could have been Merlin's brother. Why?"

Morgana wasn't listening, she was staring into space as she clutched her car keys in her hand, manicured finger nails digging into her palm. "Mordred…" She whispered under her breath, more to herself than Arthur. She finally seemed to snap back to herself. "Alright, I need you to go back in there with Merlin. I don't trust him to be by himself right now. I have to check something out. Stay with him as long as you can and than take him over to Hunith's. If he rebels, tell him it's a direct order from me." She unlocked her car again, sliding into the front seat.

"Morgana, wait!" Arthur yelled out, grabbing the door before she shut it. "What the hell is going on?" He demanded.

"Look, I can't explain it here. I don't have the time. I'll talk with you when you get home, just don't leave him alone, please." She asked desperately. Staring at her, he nodded slowly. "Thank you. I'll explain everything tonight, but I have to confirm something first."

He watched her pull out of the parking spot, the engine revving as she put on speed. What the hell was going on?

Merlin was sitting at an empty table, staring into space as he nursed a bottle of soda. From where Arthur stood, he looked tired. There were circles appearing under his eyes. His mouth was pinched into a thin line and his eyes seemed unfocused and sad.

He walked over silently. "Merlin." He called softly.

He still jumped, startled out of his thoughts. He looked around, searching for Morgana. "Where's Morgana?" He asked softly.

He searched for an excuse for her abrupt departure. "She got a call from work and had to leave. She asked me to hang out with you for the day, since you looked like you needed company."

Merlin seemed to buy this, for he motioned for Arthur to sit down. Arthur sat down next to him, scooting the chair a little closer. Merlin smiled thinly and copied him, scooting his chair over until they sat shoulder to shoulder.

Arthur wrapped an arm around his waist, letting Merlin lean his head on his shoulder. "So, you wanna talk about what's bugging you or shall we just skip it?" Arthur asked lightly.

Merlin shook his head. "I don't want to dwell on it right now, skipping it is best." He kept his eyes strait ahead, watching the people walking around them.

"Alright, then what do you want to do?" He asked.

"I guess we could go back to my place." Merlin said softly, smiling into his neck.

"Alright, let's go." Arthur stood, pulling Merlin along by the waist until he too was standing.

The ride back was quiet, but comfortable. It seemed to take no time at all as he pulled into an empty parking spot in front of Merlin's complex. He followed the brunette up the steps and through his door without any mishaps.

Merlin turned to go to his room. Arthur made a quick detour to the kitchen, grabbing a couple of water bottles out of the fridge before following. Merlin was already sitting in the middle of the bed, shoes and socks thrown off to the other side of the room.

Over the last few weeks, he and Merlin had spent much of their time on the bed, mostly talking about a range of subjects, other times just laying there with each other for company. It was certainly something he and Merlin liked to do.

He set the bottles down on the side table before shucking his own shoes and climbing on it beside him. He went to turn to him to say something, but his mouth was stopped when Merlin pressed his lips to his.

It was just a simple pressing of lips, but Merlin slowly deepened it. Arthur just lay there, letting Merlin do what he wanted. He felt the thinner male shift until his legs straddled his thighs.

His hands started to tug at his shirt, trying to get it up and over his head. Arthur pulled back. "Merlin, slow down." He ignored him, still tugging at the shirt. "Merlin." He grabbed his hands, stilling the tugging motions. He pulled his hands away, shoving them into Arthur's hair as he pulled him forward into a sloppy, but heated kiss.

Arthur pulled back again, needing air and Merlin started to attack his neck, kissing and biting and licking at it. "Merlin!" He grabbed his upper arms and pushed him back, the paler male straining against his grip.

"What's the matter Arthur, don't you want to have sex with me?" he asked, confused. Arthur looked at him closely, something in his voice sounding off. Merlin took advantage of his distraction, diving in to capture his lips again.

"Goddammit, Merlin!" He pulled him off and shoved him to the side. Standing up in one swift motion, he stalked over to the other side of the room, facing the only window as he watched the cars and people move outside of the room.

"What's the mater, are you not attracted to me that way?" Merlin asked quietly.

"It's not that, it's just–"

"But doesn't every guy want to have sex with their boyfriend?" Arthur stiffened, hearing the hysterical note entering Merlin's voice.

"Merlin–"

"Was it something I said…or did?"

"It's not–"

"Am I not good enough for the great Pendragon to bed?" He asked aloud, voice bleak.

"Goddammit, Merlin. Let me speak." He spun around, eyes on the small figure in the bed. It look so small, withdrawing into himself. His eyes were overly bright, a small tremble making his mouth quiver. "Merlin." He strode back over to the bed.

"What, is it me?" He asked, voice cracking slightly.

"No, it's me." He sat down on the edge of the bed. "Merlin, I can see the way your shaking. Your not ready for this. We've only been dating for a few weeks now, but that doesn't mean you have to give yourself over to me." He reached out a hand to brush away one of the tears that had escaped. "Merlin, you would regret it in the morning and I don't want to ruin the this between us. I want you to be comfortable with this before you even think about something like sex. Though where you got the idea that you had to throw yourself at me to make our relationship work, I'll never know."

Merlin was crying harder now, thin shoulders shaking with quiet sobs. Arthur reached forward, drawing him into his arms as he let the man cry his heart out.

They sat there for nearly half an hour, Merlin in his arms as he stroked soothing circles on his back. Finally, a muffled sentence came out. "What?" Arthur asked, not able to hear it properly.

Merlin turned his head slightly. "Do…do you think I'm attractive?" Another issue. It seemed Merlin had many insecurities.

"Yes. You are very attractive…and if you had been for really earlier, than I don't know if I could have stopped myself." He chuckled softly.

He looked up at him with red rimmed eyes. "Really?" Arthur nodded. "Do you like me, Arthur?" He asked just as soft.

"Oh yes, very much." He bent down, kissing him on the eye lids, cheeks, the nose, and finally the lips, just a soft press of his lips. Merlin gave a soft sigh, letting their lips stay in contact long enough for them to need to breath.

Arthur pulled back and glanced at the clock. "Merlin, it's getting late and I'm going to need to head out soon." Merlin nodded, leaning against his chest. Arthur grabbed the unopened and momentarily forgotten bottle and handed it to him. He smiled in thanks and took a sip from it.

"Merlin, I don't think you should be alone right now. Would you go to your mother's? I'm sure she would love the company and I wouldn't have to worry about you doing something stupid…like getting drunk."

"I guess, if it will help you." Merlin said quietly.

He kissed him on the lips again. "It will, trust me on this." He watched a small flush spread over his cheeks. "I'll call you later when I get off of work."

Merlin nodded. "Okay. Shall we go now?" Arthur nodded and helped him stand on slightly wobbly knees.

He pulled him into another hug, just holding onto him in reassurance. "I swear, I'll never force you to do anything you don't want to. Do you got that?" He asked, looking him in the eye. Merlin nodded. "Good." He kissed him one last time. "Let's get going." He pulled him along, guiding him through his apartment.

Arthur pulled up in front of his house. The light in the kitchen was on, though the rest of the house was dark. Morgana was there…and from the looks of the second car, so was Lance and probably Gwen.

Locking his car, he walked up to the front door and strode through, shutting it with a hard thump. The talking in the kitchen stopped as they listened to him walk their way.

He stopped in the kitchen door way. "Alright, Morgana. You have some explaining to do."

xXx

Well, not flash back yet, but that will happen next chapter. Poor Merlin. His life just seems to be falling apart. I commend Arthur on his strength to be able to resist Merlin. Not many could.

This was really angsty and it will get more so before it gets better, so be warned and maybe keep a few tissues on hand just in case. I hope you enjoyed this and sorry for such a late update, but I've been busy with capstones and end of the year stuff before graduation [YAY GRADUATION!]. Once I get out, I'll start updating faster. So…

Until Next Time

~Reiya