Chapter 10

By the time we managed to compose ourselves, redress, and curl back up next to each other, it was almost nine.

"Do you mind if I use your shower?" I asked, tracing circles on her neck.

"Go right ahead, I'll probably use it after you when the hot water comes back."

I kissed her forehead and went to take a shower. It took me a few minutes to figure out how to use it, seeing as I have never showered here before, but eventually I had hot water pounding on my back.

When I got out Nepeta's parents were just getting home. I nodded hello before walking into Nepeta's room to find her asleep with the most peaceful look on her face that I've seen since she got sick.

I laid down next to her and put an arm around her waist. Her mother and a man that wasn't Nepeta's father walked in after about a half hour to let me know that the hospice worker had arrived.

"My name is Jake, I'll be looking after her," he bowed his head.

I thought for a second, "Do you know a nurse named Dave?"

He nodded.

"He was helping Nepeta in the hospital, he mentioned you once."

Jake nodded, with a distinct look of grief in his eyes.

Nepeta stirred and she lifted her head, "Who are you?"

"My name is Jake, you must be Nepeta," he kneeled by her bed, and rested his arms on it. "I'll be taking care of you okay?"

"Okay, can Equius stay? My parents said it was okay…" I could hear her biting her lip.

"If your parents say it's okay, then it's fine by me," he shrugged. "In fact he could probably be a lot of help in keeping an eye out for you."

I nodded, "I have been watching over her this entire time, it is no hardship."

He nodded, "Great, I'm glad you can help."

I nodded.

Dinner was served shortly thereafter, and Nepeta managed to keep the little she ate down. I managed to eat for the first time since they told us that she didn't have much time left.

Around ten we curled up in her bed and she fell asleep almost instantly. She had been worn out by everything today, so it didn't surprise me that she fell asleep so fast. Shortly after she fell asleep, I did too.

~====3====~

The next week went by without much incident. A few days after she left the hospital she was put on an IV drip of morphine because the pain in her lungs was not being counteracted by the medication anymore.

I stayed with her at all times unless I had to leave to do something, even then I was within shouting distance.

Jake and I took care of her, even though he said that he had a handle on it. Even though I knew she was going to die, I wanted to make her as comfortable as possible before she did.

She usually stayed curled up besides me with her face buried in my chest, a hand clutching mine, and her other hand clutching her chest.

It was her second week out of the hospital where things started to go wrong.

I woke up Monday morning, and she her skin was almost bluish it was so white. I shook her gently and her eyes blinked open and she coughed up a chunk of tissue out of her throat that was almost black with blood.

I paled and yelled for Jake, who came running in, "What's wrong?"

Nepeta held up her hand to show him, "This came out of my throat…"

He looked at it, "It looks like a piece of tissue from your throat, hopefully it'll heal. The blood is from your lungs."

She nodded and I calmed down a little before asking, "Why is her skin so blue?"

"She's not getting enough oxygen around her body. Her skin was bluish before, but now it's gotten worse. I hate to say this but that's the beginning of the end."

Nepeta sighed, "I figured, it's getting harder to breath every day and I feel more and more exhausted."

It was true, her breathing came in short pants and she was sleeping almost constantly. I was terrified of the day she fell asleep and didn't wake up.

I traced circles on her back, trying to calm myself down. Jake was explaining something to Nepeta, but I couldn't hear him. I had zoned out completely, only focusing on how my hand was tracing circles.

She can't die… she just can't…

Jake snapped his fingers in front of my face and I snapped out of the depressive haze I was in, "Yeah?"

"I said, keep an eye on her. Let her rest, and I'll up the dosage of morphine a little bit, she isn't at the max dosage so it'll be okay. Okay?" he looked almost worried.

I nodded slowly, "Okay…"

Nepeta went back to sleep and I held her, unable to rest myself. I didn't eat the entire day.

A few days later I woke up and I couldn't tell if Nepeta was even breathing or not. Panicking, I gently rested my hand on her back and felt a very faint rise and fall.

I shook her gently, it was almost noon and she had to take her midday meds anyway, and she didn't wake. Her face was smiling, but she didn't wake.

I yelled for Jake, who came in and rushed over to Nepeta's side to check her vitals. His mouth pressed into a hard line as he shook her to try and wake her up. She did not wake.

"Her heartbeat is slow, and her respiration is also slow. I'm afraid she is comatose for now, and most likely will be until she passes."

I felt all the blood drain out of my face and tears welled up and spilled over as I remembered the day prior. It was an normal day, well as normal as normal could have been lately. She told me that she was feeling pretty good considering the circumstances. She was doing good…

I buried my face in her shoulder and wailed. I needed to be strong, but I couldn't help it. I was most likely would not speak to her again. I would not hear her voice again. I would not be able to feel her curl up next to me and tell me she loves me.

In fact, that was the last thing she would ever say to me.

"I love you."