Undistinguishable

Her head was spinning. Her legs were refusing to carry her and yet she was walking.

It was nearly sunset. Charley remembered nothing about leaving the stables, nothing about whatever happened while she was actually walking. The memories of what had happened while she was in there with Zero had converted themselves into a flurry of flashing pictures; how they kissed... the moment he had bitten her... how they lay in the hay together... making love... but she couldn't seem to get the entire event to come back to her. Her head was a swirling mass of twisted confusion, her emotions messed up. Friendship, love, desire... for a moment they had all been the same, but somehow they weren't. And Shiki... he had come back to her mind, like a bomb colliding with a target, it had struck her with an explosion of guilt. Guilt about what had happened, guilt about trusting Zero like she had, even though she still wanted it to be Shiki... she wanted to scream it all out, all her frustrations and the pain in her heart. She wanted it to go away, but her stream of thoughts was distorted and she found herself unable to think straight. Before she well realised it, she bumped hard into someone.

The crash and the reverberation of her yelp tossed all of Charley's confusion into oblivion for a moment. She felt herself falling over backwards, ready to break an arm on the hard stone underneath her, when a hand grabbed her shirt. The fabric managed to carry her weight for that split second and she stopped falling. Another hand pulled her back up and a familiar voice rang in her ears.

"Charley! Are you alright?"

It took her less than a second to recognise it.

"Ichijou-senpai?" She looked up, straight into the blonde's emerald eyes. He smiled at her.

"My, I thought you had spaced out. I called your name a few times, but you didn't respond."

"I-I'm sorry," she stuttered. He chuckled, and stuck out his hand at her. He was holding a note, carefully folded up with her name written on it.

"I had to give this to you from Senri," he said. Charley took the note from him and stared at it for a while.

"Thanks..."

"You're welcome." Ichijou-senpai smiled at her once more. "I better get back to the dorms, classes are starting soon."

"Yeah..." she muttered. She listened to him walking away, her eyes still fixed on the note. A series of thoughts had started to twirl around in her head again. Shiki... he was still thinking about her... did that mean he still felt something for her? … or maybe this was a good-bye note? … the tension caused her stomach to tighten. With trembling fingers, Charley unfolded the note. It was Shiki's handwriting, no doubt; the letters were of perfect shape, ornamenting the paper with perfect words. This is what it said:

Dear Charley,

I'm really happy to hear from you.

Right now, I don't have much time to write to you, so I gave this note to Ichijou to deliver it to you, so I could go talk to Kaname.

I would like for you to stay up tonight, because I'll be trying if I can pay you a visit.

I'll take classes off for the night so I can be with you for a while.

I hope Kaname understands.

I'll see you tonight, then, hopefully.

With love,

Senri

A smile had appeared on Charley's face upon reading this message. He'd be coming over! She folded the message again and carefully put it away in her pocket. She had to hurry back to her dorm, for he could be there any moment after sunset. But while she started walking again, the whole flurry of confusion and guilt came back to her. She had to tell him... otherwise she wouldn't be able to even look him in the eye. The tension was back and she felt nervous and scared. The message in the note was suddenly a whole lot less appealing...

The first thing Charley did when she was back in her bedroom was taking a shower. Her clothes she took along with her, rinsing them with hot water as she cleaned out the wound in her neck. She was hoping that, along with the sweat and Zero's scent, she'd be able to wash the dirty, confused feeling off her, but it turned out to be no use. She washed her body twice, the smell of strawberry douche gel filling the bathroom, until she was certain that any trace of Zero was gone. Then she dried herself off really quick before heading straight into her bedroom again. Dinner she had already missed, so it was no use going back down into the dorm. Back in her room, Charley put on a simple tank top and some shorts, in which she usually slept and went to sit on her bed with a book in her hands, reading while the time ticked away...

A sudden sound snapped her out of the story. The branches outside were rustling and she swore she had heard something moving. The sky outside was still very faintly orange, although the moon was already visible. Its silver light gave her a happy feeling inside. Then, she saw a foot, right there on the window-ledge. Two hands were holding on tight to the frame, until Shiki leapt gracefully into her bedroom. Charley laid her book aside in a instant, jumped up from her bed and was in his arms in a matter of seconds. Tears were running across her cheeks in mere happiness, but also in guilt of what she had done. She felt his embrace, warmly, though a little uncertain, just like him. She wished she could just turn back time, so the whole thing with Zero would never have happened. But she couldn't...

Shiki pushed her off him a little so he could face her. There it was again, the concern in his eyes.

"What happened to you..."

She felt a shock and she gasped. Had he already noticed? Was she that easy to read, after all? Charley wanted to utter an apologise, but there was no sound. Her throat suddenly felt thick, as if it were blocked off by something. Involuntarily, tears were starting to well up in her eyes. No... no, she shouldn't be crying. She fought against the sudden pain in her heart; through her tears, she saw Shiki's expression changing to shock. He embraced her, pressing her closely against his chest, stroking her head gently.

"Charley? What's wrong?"

"I... I..." her voice sounded hoarse. "Zero... I... I didn't... I'm so confused..."

"Calm down, please, stop crying... there's no need. I don't care what happened... I just want you to be happy, so please, calm down."

The quiet tone in which he spoke enabled her to catch her breath and fight the tears away. Shiki leant in and kissed them away from her face.

"It's alright," he whispered. "We should go sit down... come..." He half lifted her up from the ground and carried her to the bed, where he sat her down on his lap. Charley immediately wrapped her arms around him and kissed his cheek. He sighed.

"Everybody is missing you," he said while he quietly rocked her from side to side. "Kaname never really leaves his office during his free hours. He's been looking into possible remedies for your... situation. And Aidou's been complaining that he wants a dog in the Dorm."

That last remark managed to make her smile slightly. Poor Aidou...

"I hope Kaname finds a way to solve me..." she said, later on realising how weird that sentence must've sounded.

"Yeah..." Shiki said and he kissed the top of her head. "We all do... but nobody wants to put you at risk. What he found up until now was not an option..."

"But... he did find a way then?"

"Sort of... but it's not safe... never mind, forget about it, I've got something for you." Shiki felt in his pocket for a second and pulled out a box of pocky. Charley could've known. Shiki would never go anywhere without them.

The vampire took one out and put it in his mouth, pressing the other side of it against her lips. She smiled and took it in her mouth, eating her way along until she reached his lips. To kiss him again was like seeing the first cherry blossoms of the season; it was sweeter than she could ever have hoped for.