Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer and I do not own Twilight, New Moon or anything else relating to her. I also do not own any of the text stolen from the books.

Chapter 9 – Theory

When we got in the car, I spoke again. "Why are you here in Port Angeles today?"

Edward sighed, starting up the car and accelerated much too quickly out of town. "I was following you."

"Why?" His admission didn't creep me out the way I knew it should – the admittance of following a specific person being one of the early signs of stalking. The problem was that I wanted him to follow me.

"I was worried about you. I don't know why except for your disturbing ability to find trouble wherever you go."

"Hey," I demanded in affront, then happened to glance at the speedometer on then dash. "Holy crow! Slow down!" I screeched the words

"What's wrong?" He was startled. But the car didn't decelerate.

"You're going a hundred miles an hour!" I was shouting. I shot a panicky glance out the window, but it was too dark to see much. The road was only visible in the long patch of bluish brightness from the headlights. The forest along both sides of the road was like a black wall – as hard as a wall of steel if we veered off the road at this speed.

"Relax, Bella." He rolled his eyes, still not slowing.

"Are you trying to kill us?" I demanded.

"We're not going to crash."

I tried to modulate my voice. "Why are you in such a hurry?"

"I always drive like this." He turned to smile at me crookedly.

"Keep your eyes on the road!"

"I've never been in an accident, Bella – I've never even gotten a ticket." He grinned. "There are a few advantages to being a vampire, instant reflexes is one of them."

"Very funny." I fumed. "I want to be a cop, remember? Like my dad already is. I was raised to abide by traffic laws. Besides, if you turn us into a Volvo pretzel around a tree trunk, you can probably just walk away."

"Probably," he agreed with a short, hard laugh. "But you can't." He sighed, and I watched with relief as the needle gradually drifted toward eighty. "Happy?"

He hadn't even gotten the needle down to eighty yet, and this highway was set at sixty during ideal driving conditions, which at night it certainly wasn't ideal. "Almost."

The speedometer slowly edged down to seventy-five.

"I hate driving slow," he muttered.

"This is slow?"

"Enough commentary on my driving," he snapped.

I bit my lip to keep from laughing at his snark.

There was about ten seconds of silence before I opened my mouth – intending to continue on my line of question about him being in Port Angeles – but what came out was, "I have a theory about you."

"Aside from me being a vampire?"

"That wasn't a theory. That was cold, hard, concrete knowledge." I gritted my teeth.

"Okay, so what's your theory?"

"I think you can read minds. With a few exceptions." I was looking straight ahead as I said it, unwilling to even glance at him. The idea sounded preposterous to my ears, and yet, what other option was there? After all, once you eliminate the possible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, even impossible, must be the truth. I knew I was misquoting that, but it fit the situation I was in now.

"Actually, with just one exception." I looked at him, it was hard to tell in the dark car, but I was fairly sure he was smiling.

"All right, with just one exception, then," I was almost as thrilled to find out he was being open and honest, as I was freaked that I was apparently the only one he couldn't read. "How does that work? What are the limitations? Hoe did you... find me at exactly the right time?" Okay, ideally he'd have made it a couple minutes before he did, but as I was only going to have one bruise in the morning, I'd count it as a win. "How did you even know I was in trouble?"

"If I had been paying attention, the timing wouldn't have needed to be quite so exact." His voice was both wry and bitter. "Only you could get into trouble in a town that small. You would have devastated their crime rate statistics for a decade, you know."

I wondered if I should tell him to look up the May 2001 Forks Forum. I decided against it, there was no point, as I'd gotten through the event with minimal damage.

"I swear, if there is anything dangerous within a ten-mile radius, it will invariably find you."

"And you put yourself in that category?" I asked.

He glanced at me. "Unequivocally."

I'd already given up trying to convince him to keep his eyes on the road, so I reached out and placed my hand on his leg. It was to show comfort, support, but I also knew how intimate of a gesture it really was. I felt him jerk slightly at my touch, I didn't pull back.

"Thank you," my voice was fervent with gratitude. "That's twice now."

"Let's not try for three, agreed?"

I scowled, but nodded.

"As I already said, I followed you to Port Angeles," he admitted, speaking in a rush. "I've never tried to keep a specific person alive before, and it's much more troublesome than I would have believed. But that's probably just because it's you. Ordinary people seem to make it through the day without so many catastrophes." He paused.

I smiled to myself at his words, though he was right.

"Did you ever stop to think my number is up, at least since the van, and you're just messing with fate?" It had been up before that actually, but I saw no point in mentioning any of my history.

"It was before that," he said, and his voice was hard to hear. At least I didn't think he knew my history. "Your number was up the first day I met you."

There was a small bolt of fear that his words caused, but I chased it away viciously. I had wondered about that day since it had happened, but as I'd already told him, if he truly wanted me dead, I was sure I would be.

"You remember?"

"Yes." I was calm.

"And yet you aren't afraid?" There was disbelief in his voice.

"It doesn't matter."

"It doesn't matter?" His voice was whip sharp, his carefully composed mask completely gone from what I could see of his face. "It doesn't matter that I'm a vampire who almost killed you on your first day back?"

"No, because I'm still alive. And if I was to be afraid of every almost in my life then I'd never get out of bed." My own anger was rising to match his.

"We're not talking about accidentally falling down the stairs, Bella."

"No, but it's the same equivalent. I can't live my life by what almost occurred. I'd end up in a padded cell if I lived like that."

He hissed through his teeth.

"If you're trying to scare me. It isn't going to be that easy." I took a breath. "Now can you continue answering my questions, please?"

"It was harder than it should be – keeping track of you. Usually I can find someone very easily, once I've heard their mind before."

Which he couldn't do with me, the singular mental mute he'd come across.

"I was keeping tabs on Jessica, not carefully – like I said, only you could find trouble in Port Angeles – and at first I didn't notice when you took off on your own. Then, when I realized that you weren't with her anymore, I went looking for you at the bookstore I saw in her head. The shopkeeper was thinking about other stuff when I got there, but I could tell you weren't there anymore. I knew you went west, through a section of warehouses so I started driving toward downtown, assuming you were taking a shortcut to get there as that's where your friends went. But then you didn't show..." He was lost in thought, seeing things I couldn't imagine.

"So I started randomly searching through the thoughts of people on the street – to see if anyone had noticed you so I would know where you were. I had no reason to be worried... but I was strangely anxious... I started to drive in circles, still... listening. The sun was finally setting, and I was about to get out and follow you on foot. And then –" He stopped, his teeth snapping together with an audible noise.

"Then what?" I whispered.

"I heard what they were thinking," he growled. "I saw your face in his mind." His hands clenched around the steering wheel, and I was a little concerned what we'd do if he accidentally ripped it out. "It was very... hard – you can't imagine how hard – for me to simply take you away, and leave them... alive. I could have let you go with Jessica and Angela, but I was afraid if you left me alone, I would go looking for them."

He didn't need to explain what would have happened had he done that. I was quite certain that I already knew.

"How did you know which direction I went, anyways?"

He didn't answer immediately.

"Aren't we past all the evasiveness?"

I could almost make out the the brief flicker of a smile.

"Fine, then. I followed your scent."

I blinked. I couldn't think of an acceptable response to that.

I changed the subject back to his clairaudiance.

"So how does the mind reading thing work? Can you read anybody's mind, anywhere? How do you do it? And can the rest of your family do it as well?"

"No, it's just me. And I can't hear anyone, anywhere. I have to be fairly close. The more familiar someone's... mental voice is, the farther away I can hear them. But still no more than a few miles." He paused thoughtfully. "It's a little like being in a huge hall filled with people, everyone talking at once. It's just a hum – a buzzing of voices in the background. Until I focus on one voice, and then what they're thinking is clear.

"Most of the time I tune it all out – it can be very distracting. And then it's easier to seem normal" – I could just make out him as he frowned upon saying the word - "when I'm not accidentally answering someone's thoughts rather than their words."

"Why do you think you can't hear me?" I asked curiously.

He looked at me, once again ignoring the need to watch the road.

"I don't know," he murmured. "The only guess I have is that maybe your mind doesn't work the same way the rest of theirs do. Like your thoughts are on the AM frequency and I'm only getting FM." He grinned at me, suddenly amused.

"My mind doesn't work right? I'm a freak?" The word bothered me more than they should – probably because his speculation hit home. I'd always suspected as much, and it embarrassed me to have it confirmed.

"I'm a vampire that hears voices in my mind and you're worried that you're the freak." He laughed.

I let out a short, slightly hysterical, laugh at his words.

"I get your point." A mere four days ago if he'd told me this, I'd have recommended he got clinical help.

"You haven't asked me the most important question yet." His voice was hard now, and when he looked at me again his eyes were cold.

I blinked. "Which one is that?"

"You aren't concerned about my diet?" he asked sarcastically.

"Oh," I murmured, "that."

"Yes, that." His voice was bleak. "Don't you want to know if I drink blood?"

I flinched, but held firm on what I had told him earlier. "It doesn't matter."

"It doesn't matter to you if I drink blood? If I murder people?"

"How do I even know what murder is anymore?" I demanded, the anger in my voice exceedingly clear.

"You know right from wrong."

"Do I, Edward? A week ago I would have agreed with you. A week ago I had never seen a wolf burst from the body of a boy I grew up with. A week ago, a shopkeeper who has never known my name hadn't called me by my name while handing me a stone to 'protect my love.' A week ago, you were just a human boy to me. So you tell me, is killing a weaker species for sustenance murder? Or is it the normal lifestyle of a hunter? If that's what you even do."

He yanked off the side of the road, pulling to a stop. We were still a few miles out of Forks. He was out of the car and at my door so suddenly that my eyes couldn't follow. He reached in, unbuckling my seat belt before physically pulling me out and onto my feet.

"Are you seriously telling me that killing a human isn't murder?" His voice was violent.

"The definition of murder is one human killing another human, look it up. And, Edward, you aren't human!" I shouted the words.

His eyes flashed violently and I had half a moment to wonder if he would actually kill me, before he suddenly just... deflated. There was no other word for the way the anger just zapped out of him. "I once was."

The words were hardly a whisper. If we'd still been driving down the road, I'd have never heard it.

I let the anger fade away. "Do you kill people?" I asked it softly. I'd already accepted the most likely fate I was going to have from pursuing a relationship with him.

"No. At least my family and I don't. We prey on animals instead, big game like deer and elk. But we're a rarity, most vampires do partake of a normal diet of human blood. That's why our eyes turn gold, of course. The animal blood. Normal vampires have red eyes."

"So, even if I was to judge you by human terms, you aren't a murderer."

"Don't let that make you complacent, though," he warned me. "We're still dangerous."

I already knew he was dangerous, he'd just pulled me out of the car like I weighed two pounds. "Explain, please."

"We try," he explained slowly. "We're usually very good at what we do. Sometimes we makes mistakes. Me, for example, allowing myself to be alone with you."

"This is a mistake?" I heard the sadness in my voice, but I didn't know if he could as well.

"A very dangerous one," he murmured.

We were both silent then. I wondered if he could see the genuine sadness in my eyes as he was watching me. Finally he turned away from me, walking slowly around the car and getting back in. It took me a moment, but I forced myself to sit back in the passenger seat. I was aware of the time slipping away so quickly, and I was hideously afraid that I would never have another chance to be with him like this again – the walls between us gone for once. His words hinted at an end.

Was this going to be when he said goodbye to me and leave me by myself? Now that I'd found someone who finally made my heart beat faster, was this all the time I'd get to spend with him?

I couldn't waste one minute I had with him.

"Tell me more," I asked desperately, not caring what he said, just so I could hear his voice again.

He looked at me quickly, startled by the change in my tone. "What more do you want to know?"

"Tell me why you hunt animals instead of people," I suggested, my voice still tinged with desperation. I realized my eyes were wet, and I fought against the grief that was trying to overpower me.

"I don't want to be a monster." His voice was very low.

"But animals aren't enough?"

He paused. "I can't be sure, of course, but I'd compare it to living on tofu and soy milk; we call ourselves vegetarians, our little inside joke. It doesn't completely satiate the hunger – or rather thirst. But it keeps us strong enough to resist. Most of the time." His tone turned ominous. "Sometimes it's more difficult than others."

"Is it very difficult for you now?" I asked.

He sighed. "Yes."

"Were you hunting this weekend with Emmett?"

"Yes." He paused for a second, as if deciding whether or not to say something. "I didn't want to leave, but it was necessary. It's a bit easier to be around you when I'm not thirsty."

"Why didn't you want to leave?"

"It makes me... anxious... to be away from you." His voice was gentle but intense, and it was making my bones turn to mush. "I wasn't joking when I asked you to try not to fall into the ocean or get run over last Thursday. I was distracted all weekend, worrying about you. And after what happened tonight, I'm surprised that you did make it through a whole weekend unscathed." He shook his head, and then seemed to remember something. "Well, not totally unscathed."

"What?"

"Your hands," he reminded me. I looked down at my palms, at the almost healed scrapes across the heels of my hands. His eyes missed nothing.

"I fell," I sighed.

"That's what I thought." His lips curved up at the corners. "I suppose, being you, it could have been much worse – and that possibility tormented me the entire time I was away. It was a very long three days. I really got on Emmett's nerves."

It almost had been a lot worse, but I wasn't about to tell him I'd thrown myself into the ocean while a storm was hitting.

"Three days? Didn't you just get back today?"

"No, we got back Sunday."

"Then why weren't you in school?" I was frustrated, almost angry as I thought of how much disappointment I had suffered because of his absence.

"Well, you asked about going out in the day. And as I told you, I can. But I can't go out in the sunlight – at least, not where anyone can see."

"Why?"

"I'll show you sometime," he promised.

I thought about it for a moment.

"You might have called me," I decided.

He was puzzled. "But I knew you were safe."

"But I didn't know you were. I –" I hesitated, dropping my eyes.

"What?" His velvety voice was compelling even without the power of his eyes.

"I didn't like it. Not seeing you. It makes me anxious, too." I blushed.

He was quiet. I glanced up, apprehensive, and saw that his expression was pained.

"Ah," he groaned quietly. "This is wrong."

I couldn't understand his response. "What did I say?"

"Don't you see, Bella? It's one thing for me to make myself miserable, but a wholly other thing for you to be so involved." His words flowed almost too fast for me to understand. "I don't want to hear that you feel that way." His voice was low but urgent. His words cut me. "It's wrong. It's not safe. I'm dangerous, Bella – please, grasp that."

"No." I tried very hard not to look like a sulky child.

"I'm serious," he growled.

"So am I. I already told you, it doesn't matter."

"Of course it matters. Your safety is all that matters." His voice was furious again.

I turned away, trying to force back the tears that I could feel coming on.

"What are you thinking?" he asked, his voice still raw. I just shook my head, not sure if I could speak. I could feel his gaze on my face, but I kept my eyes forward.

"Are you crying?" He sounded appalled. I hadn't realized the moisture in my eyes had brimmed over. I quickly rubbed my hand across my cheek, and sure enough, traitor tears were there, betraying me.

"No," I said, but my voice cracked.

We pulled up in front of my house just then, and I knew my time was almost up.

I forced myself to ask the one question I hadn't yet.

"How old are you really, Edward?" My voice was still thick, but I ignored it and shrugged out of Edward's jacket.

"I'm seventeen."

I didn't believe that for a second. "How long have you been seventeen?"

"A while." I figured that was the best I was going to get for now. I unbuckled my seat belt and opened my door. "Will I see you tomorrow?" I looked away as I asked.

"Yes – I have homework that is due. And I believe I need to give you your paper back." He paused briefly. "I'll save you a seat at lunch."

It was silly, after everything we'd been through tonight, how that little promise sent flutters through my stomach, making my heart skyrocket with excitement.

I turned to look at him. "Do you promise to be there tomorrow?"

"I promise."

I handed him his jacket, putting one foot on the ground to get out as I did so. He opened his mouth to say something, but I already started to talk. "And, Edward, while you're talking about my safety, did you ever consider the safety of my heart? Because if you think you can just leave one of these days and not leave me bleeding and raw on the inside, then you are sadly mistaken. It's far too late for that." I got out, slamming the door shut before he could reply, then I ran for my house door.

AN: As always, looking for reviews on this story.