Author's Note: Written with much affection for Redbrunja. This isn't the smut you wanted. That's still to come, but I hope this little offering will tide you over until I get it pinned down perfectly.

WTF??

"Um... Hakkai?"

"Yes, Gojyo?" This was asked with and expression of the utmost innocence, as if what the red head was seeing was pefectly natural.

Crimson eyes blinked with suspicious confusion around the room. "What happened to the table?"

"Oh... it unfortunately couldn't bear the weight of the tea kettle. Speaking of tea, would you like some?" A pleasant smile, though the eyes seemed a little unfocused. The offer of tea didn't fool the man still standing in the doorway.

"No... s'okay. What about the chairs?"

"Well, just be glad I tested them all before you arrived. They were incredibly rickety. Are you certain you don't want some tea?" To emphasize the offer, he took a sip from his own cup.

Red hair shook back and forth slowly with the indication of no, he didn't want any tea. He wasn't that easily distracted. "And why's the bathroom door all busted?"

"Ah. That. Yes, oddly enough it happened when I took a shower. See, the wood was so terribly warped as it was... all that access moisture was simply too much for it." Green eyes became a little more focused and wary as the other man stepped carefully across the floor to peer through the door hanging from one hinge.

"Uh-huh. So... I suppose the shower curtain was ripped down because..."

"... Because I was startled by the door bursting and fell completely out of the tub." Nervous sweat beaded his brow, but the smile didn't indicate this in the least. It was still as friendly and innocent as could be.

"And what about the bed?"

Green eyes flickered toward the bed that the red head indicated with a slight nod of his head. He frowned, his face assuming one of confusion as he regarded the ripped mattress, cracked head board and the holes said headboard had caused from being slammed into the wall. "I'm really not sure what you mean by that, Gojyo. That bed was always broken. As was the wall."

"Sure. Okay. But I know the other bed wasn't. Or the other wall." He motioned to the other bed with his thumb. Or, more specifically, to the fact that the box springs had been so broken and bent out of shape that the mattress was nearly doubled in half. That was, of course, not including the fact that this head board was firmly implanted into the wall, nor that cracks radiated up the plaster to threaten the ceiling over head.

"You couldn't expect me to sleep on the other bed, could you?" This was asked in the most horrifed of tones, as if it should have been perfectly obvious from the start of the conversation.

"Yeah... but how did it get that way?"

"I... had a rough night?" It wasn't intended to be a question, but his doubt that the other would believe the half lie came through in his voice.

The smirk crossing the other man's face made him blush and quickly find his tea more interesting. "Judging by the way she limped outta here, I'd say Yaone did, too," he commented before fixing the broken bathroom door in place on a stunned expression.