Disclaimer: I don't own Steven Universe.

In...

Out...

In...

Out...

Steven lay flat out on his back. He kept his hands resting on top of his gem. They rose and fell with each controlled breath that he had taken. He was concentrating on his gem, trying to feel and be nothing but it. He imagined hearing the sounds of the beach outside: Waves crashing onto the beach, sea birds squawking at nothing, and the slight breeze, stirring the sand.

It was difficult to stop his mind from wandering to other subjects. It happened inevitability, but he was focusing more and more on the same thing over again. Through patient practice, he was able to block all other thoughts out. In his mind, he pictured his gem. It was apart of him, he could see it clear as day, even with his eyes shut tight.

His gem was the size of his fist, and the top of it was divided into a pentagonal shape. The colour of his gem remained the same throughout, except for a slight impurity straight down the middle of it. The line was not jagged, like a crack, but rather a clear-cut, straight line. As if it had been cut clean through with an axe before forming back together. Except for the stray part that ran down his middle, his entire gem was translucent. He could see through some of the faces of it, but not all of them.

The thing he focused on from there was the colour of his gem. It was a dark, rosy pink, that was almost red. His gem always had a lighter pink shine to it, as he made sure to keep it polished well. The wispy line down the middle of his gem was the faintest of pinks, bordering on white. The three colours swam before his eyes, chasing each other in a circle. Slowly at first, but then growing faster in speed. They caught up and blended into a singular, pink blur, and then...

"SHEILD!"

Steven puffed out his stomach, snapping his eyes open at the same second. But to his disappointment, no shield had formed. His gem had not even begun to glow. His bubble hadn't formed either, and this was the way he had learned how to summon it. Sighing in frustration, Steven turned on his side and picked up Lapis.

"It didn't work."

"Do not worry. Steven." She said.

"But if I can figure out how to use my shield, there's less a chance of us getting hurt."

The mirror gem was silent for a moment.

"Try. Think. About. When. You. Use. Shield."

"Right." He nodded. "Whenever I use my bubble, it's because I'm going to get hurt. But, I can't bubble other people unless they're near me."

"Good."

"I used my shield like that. Once." He said.

"Yes."

"And the other time, the Crystal Gems could've died."

"Crystal Gems. Bad."

Steven felt a slight twist in his stomach.

"I don't want them dead though." He quietly said. "I don't want anyone dead."

"You are good. Steven."

Steven had gotten used to some of the things that Lapis said. She couldn't really say much, even with all the words that he had thought up for her to use at the time. Still, once in a while, her short statements were slightly confusing. And a little bit creepy. Not that he would admit either of those things to himself. He had no one else with Amethyst gone.

Besides, Amethyst was one of the Crystal Jerks. She was cool, but she was still an enemy. As a future gem warrior, he knew that letting the enemy trick you into thinking they were nice was a popular tactic. It didn't matter if they had fun together and she seemed to care about his feelings and how he missed home. So long as their views on gems were different, there was no way they could ever truly get along. He'd been reminded of that multiple times by Lapis.

Even if an ever-familiar, miniscule part of him didn't agree with what he was being told.

"Shield. Protect."

"That's right. Shields protect. This is just like the room we discovered! I want to protect fellow gem warriors!"

"Crystal Gems. B-"

"I know." He cut in. "I mean, none of them are warriors, but we were sort of allies when I went to the kindergarten that time. Fighting is messy, and a lot of people get hurt."

Lapis replayed what Steven had said earlier;

"I don't want anyone dead."

"Right." He said. "Most gems just want to fight all the time instead of just being peaceful and figuring things out. Just look at the Crystal Mean-Faces! They poofed me without ever talking. And when I was training on Home World all the warriors there... They really liked what they did."

The gem shuddered slightly at the memories of the different veterans he had met. A lot of them still seemed to be rather young. Not many gems had lived through the infamous war that had taken place on Earth. Those that did mostly were adverse to talking about it. But all of them had one thing in common: They relished all of the violence, to an un-gem-like extent. They all had small chips in their gems, and told stories about the glory of battle and the satisfaction of taking out the weak.

One had even gone as far as to show the "souvenirs" she had gotten from her felled enemies. It was a jar filled to the brim with gems that had been crushed into dust. The warrior had opened the jar and poured a little of it in Steven's hand. Instead of reforming into a limb like gem shards normally did, the dust scuttled across his hand like countless little bugs. Matching gem pieces all gathered together in organized piles, and attempted to reform back. When the colour-coded piles were stirred back together, the process started all over again.

Yellow Diamond had thought it was funny, and the warrior did as well. Steven had no choice but to join in laughing with the both of them. Pretending that he had found toying with the dusty remains of fallen gems so pathetic that it was funny. It was the first time he had ever wondered about what death was like for a gem, and what death would be like for a half-gem.

If he stuck around on Earth any longer, something told him that he would find the answer.

Steven had grown used to the regular appearances of the gems. None of them ever knocked at the door. Although, that would have been strange considering the situation. They simply just opened the door slowly, and looked through the crack to make sure that he was not hiding behind the door. After his escape attempt with that method, all of them had followed the same procedure.

That was why he found it weird when someone knocked at the door.

Steven quickly hid the mirror in his cast. Not a second later, the door was opened in the usual, cautious fashion. He saw the ruby and sapphire (Steven had only learned what gems they were from their arguments.) Stick their heads through first. To his disappointment, Amethyst was still fused with the pearl. Their fusion stuck her head in the room last.

Knowing that he was on the bed, the group of gems entered the room together. The door was quickly shut behind them. Something about the heavy, slamming noise it made sounded more ominous than usual. The trio all remained in front of the door, tense, as if waiting for him to make some attempt at escape. Two sets (And a half.) Of eyes rested on him. The gem felt his hair begin to stand on end.

"Uh, hello." He greeted.

The sapphire stepped towards him, which prompted Steven to sit up in bed.

"Steven, we are concerned about your mental well-being."

Confused, he looked between the three.

"It means you're crazy and we're going to bubble you." The ruby said.

Silence reigned through the room. He was stunned at the words, not able to believe what he was hearing. Then it all sunk in. Fear was the first thing to strike him. Not inside of his gem again! He had trouble going back into it. And he would have to be hurt for them to do that! What if they went too far? What if he was killed instead? Being human too meant he couldn't do all gem things! What if he went into his gem and didn't come out of it this time? No. He wasn't going back. He wasn't going to go back!

"Ruby!"

"What?"

"I-I don't get what y-you guys mean."

The gem tried to set a hand on his shoulder, but he flinched away before she could.

"It's not healthy for you to be locked up. And we know that you've been talking to yourself."

"Talking to myself?"

"Which is why we're beating you up until you're poofed again."

"Ruby!" She hissed, nudging her partner. "What she means to say is that you won't feel a thing."

A cold sweat broke out on his face. Steven felt his heart rate triple, and his arms began to shake. The boy tried to think of something to say, or do, but he came up blank. He was backed into a corner and there was no where for him to go. He was trapped, and they wanted to keep him in his gem for the rest of eternity like all of the others!

"G-guys, I really don't think y-you have t-to-"

The trio ignored him as the sapphire commanded;

"Opal, get his shoulders, I'll take his legs."

Steven was flattened onto his back as two sets of arms pressed down on his shoulders and hands. The fusion appeared over his field of vision. He could only make out the silhouette of her face against the bright light coming from the ceiling. Steven still knew that she was purposely averting her gaze. Raising his head, he saw that the sapphire had grabbed onto his uninjured leg.

All that left was the ruby. From his spot, Steven could barely see his feet, let alone the rest of the room. He had no idea where the foul-tempered gem had gone, and the temperature gave him no indication as to where she was. His foot was beginning to freeze in the sapphire's grip though, and he fought to get away from the other gems.

"No! Let go of me!"

"Ruby, just grab him by the neck."

"He's half-gem! Will that even work on him?"

"What about snapping it?"

"I don't know if I can-"

Steven felt sick to his stomach. He blocked out the rest of the conversation by screaming at the top of his lungs. The boy yelled and fought against the gems, desperately trying to find a way out. He was not going back into his gem. He wasn't going to let them try either! He just needed to bubble away from them. Or form his shield!

Why couldn't he form his shield right now?! He needed save himself from them! He needed to get away! Shield, shield, shield! Nothing showed up though. His gem didn't even glow. What kind of a warrior was he? What kind of a warrior even had a shield for a weapon? It was useless. He was useless. He'd never be a real gem. He'd always be part-human. Part useless was more like it.

Tears sprung up in his eyes. The boy tried to wipe the away, but his hands were still stuck. The fusion was still holding him in place. Amethyst was still holding him in place. She really was just pretending the entire time, wasn't she? If she really liked him, she wouldn't want to keep him trapped in his gem, or do something even worse than that.

She was fused with the pearl though. What if Amethyst was fighting to get out of the fusion but she wouldn't let her. Amethyst needed some way to get out of it. If only he had a gem destabilizer on him! He could turn down the setting so that they'd only unfuse, rather than poof. He had to find something! Some way to make their fusion unstable!

"I thought we were f-friends!" He cried.

"-we're trying to make this not hurt Steven." The sapphire said.

"A-Amethyst! I k-know you're there!"

His foot continued to freeze, and the fusion kept holding his upper half in place. When he looked up, he saw she had her eyes shut tight. She was doing her best to ignore him, but he still desperately tried to get the attention of the fusion. Amethyst needed to listen to him! He knew it was working, it just had to be working!

"I-I don't want to g-go back! It's scary!"

"-how about we-"

"-no that-"

The pressure on his shoulders grew stronger, while his hands were suddenly let free. Just as quickly, the fusion grabbed them again. She was starting to loose control of her form, what he said was working.

"T-this isn't like y-you!"

"-maybe we could-"

"Don't you remember the fun we had? The doughnuts we got? How we had to abandon them by the railroad tacks?"

"Ruby, cover his mouth."

"But-"

"A-and you showed me where you c-came from! Even though y-you sometimes feel b-bad a-about it!"

"Just so he stops talking."

The gem placed a hand over his mouth. The silence let her regain some focus again. But Steven was not going to give up. If he didn't get Amethyst back, nothing would be stopping them from hurting him again. He was sick and tired of having bad things happen to him! He wasn't going back into his gem ever again!

"ARAGH! HE LICKED MY HAND! THAT LITTLE-"

The ruby's temper exploded, and she let go of his mouth. The sapphire let go of his leg, trying to calm down her partner. It gave Steven the time to say one last thing.

"Y-you have t-to remember! IT ALL JUST HAPPENED!"

Something wet landed on his face. Steven blinked away his own tears, only to see that the fusion was crying as well. The arms holding on to his hands loosened as she opened her mouth to speak.

"S-Steven I-"

A sharp gasp ended what she was going to say. The fusion glowed brilliantly before a painful smacking sound was heard. The two gems clumsily separated from each other. Amethyst landed on the ruby, while the pearl, with her long legs, tripped and brought down the sapphire. The four gems were all tangled up in each other. Surprised, disoriented, and drained.

It gave Steven a chance to move. A wave of energy suddenly overtook him. Before any of the gems could begin to get up, the boy had gotten on the floor and crawled underneath his bed. He heard their confused words, but in his ears, they all blended into a mess of garbled speech. Pulling away the pillow hiding his secret exit, Steven slipped through the hole.

The confusing sensation of falling and the blood rushing to his head overtook Steven, but it left as quickly as it had come. A painful, pulsing sensation began to push through his leg. But he paid it no mind. Escape was the only thing that he could focus on right now. Steven wiped away the tears clouding his vision. Then the gem clapped his hands, loudly commanding;

"I want a door leading outside!"

Said door appeared. He stepped through, and found himself just outside of the gem's fortress. In the outside world, it was almost dark. The last few streaks of pink were giving away to bruised purples and blues before turning into night. Steven debated taking the warp pad, but he knew that there was no where for him to go. He was unfamiliar with all the locations on Earth.

"Let. Me. Out!"

Steven looked down at the tiny voice that had come from his cast. He was confused for a moment, but then remembered.

"Lapis!"

"Let. Me. Out!"

Steven pulled the mirror out of his cast. He quickly showed her the area around them, descending the hill as he did so.

"Where do I go?!"

The mirror wasted no time in responding.

"Water!"

The moment he hit the sand, Steven heard the door to the gem's base open. He frantically limped towards the water, his feet sinking into the sand. Suddenly, his broken leg gave away beneath him, and he fell to the ground. Steven bit the handle of the mirror and half-crawled, half-dragged his way closer to the water.

Steven had repeated the instructions on how to get Lapis out countless times as he fantasized finally escaping. This did nothing to prepare him for the real thing His fingers were slick with sweat, and he fumbled to grab the gem imbedded within the mirror. He was so focused on getting the gem out, that he did not notice that the waves were growing closer to him. Tiny hands formed in the water, stretching out to reach him before the waves pulled back again.

Unfortunately, he also didn't realize that the Crystal Gems had caught up to him until it was too late. Four separate weapons were pointed in his direction. Just as soon as this had happened, the pearl's spear wavered slightly. Amethyst's whip was only held half-heartedly. All of them were panting, still trying to catch their breath after the chase. Pearl then noticed what Steven was holding.

"How did he get that mirror?!" She exclaimed. "It thought it was in my ro-"

Right away, Pearl turned to look at Amethyst. She gave a guilty grin, answering her unspoken question.

"He was homesick, and it's supposed to show Home World stuff right? I figured he could use it."

"So, he wasn't really talking to himself?" Ruby wondered, rubbing her gem.

"Yes." Pearl sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Steven, I'll be needing that mirror back now."

Steven instantly pulled the mirror to his chest.

"Never!"

"C'mon Steven, it's just a mirror." Amethyst added, trying to reach out for it.

"You can't have her!"

The boy's eyes grew as wide as saucers after saying so. He covered his mouth in shock. Obliviously, he had not been meaning to say what he did. A sudden understanding washed over all of them. The mirror was gem-powered. All gem-powered objects had non-sentient gems within them. They couldn't form physical bodies or have thoughts. They were too weak for that. But if a powerful or corrupted gem had found their way into an object...

"Her?" Ruby slowly asked.

Pearl laughed nervously.

"Steven, is the gem in the mirror... Talking to you?"

"Her name is LAPIS LAZULI! And she's not in here any more!"

Just as he said so, Steven victoriously held the gem up into the air. They all gasped. None of them had even realized that he had been working away at the mirror the entire time. The gem was free from the mirror now. Who knew what kind of power Steven had just unleashed on the planet?!

The tear-drop shaped stone started to hover on it's own, floating closer towards the water. It glowed a blinding white. The gems all had to shield their faces as she began to reform. The Pearl happened to look down at the ground as she did so, and she saw that the water was grabbing at Steven's ankles. Parts of it were turning into tiny hands. Just like a series of gem shards would.

"STEVEN!"

Amethyst saw at the same time she did. They looked at each other and then gave a nod. Without a second thought, Amethyst used her whip to pull Steven backwards and away from the water. Steven dropped the mirror mid-flight. A series of hands crashed down upon the mirror and shattered it into pieces. Pearl caught Steven, stopping any fall before it happened.

"Let go of him."

All eyes were drawn to the speaker. A gem with blue skin stared them down. Blue was the predominant colour she had on her. The gem wore a darker blue dress, with a skirt that reached down to her knees. It rustled eerily, like a living thing in the unnatural breeze that stirred around her. But the only thing on her that wasn't blue were the gem's eyes. They were a milky white, and completely pupiless. They reflected the night around them.

Even as she floated above the water, the gem did not seem like one that had been cracked. Her physical form was strong-looking, it hadn't warped in the slightest. No side effects had taken over the rest of her either. Only the strongest of gems could keep strong, even with their gem cracked.

So this was Lapis Lazuli...

"LET GO OF HIM!"

Lapis Lazuli rose her arm, and the ocean followed with it. The water writhed and twisted around like a snake, growing fingers and turning into a hand. The drips of water that fell off it turned into limbs as well, before crawling back into the mass of water. The hand stretched above the gem's heads, threatening to crash down and sweep them all out to sea.

Amethyst instantly got rid of the whip Steven had been wrapped up in. She pulled another one out of her gem, and kept it to her side. Pearl followed suit, carefully letting go of the boy. The hand retreated slightly, but still loomed close by, waiting to lash out at them if commanded to.

Steven looked back at them, Amethyst in particular. His eyes were red, and Pearl saw that his face was still puffy and gleaming with tears. Steven's steps were tiny and slow. Once or twice, he stumbled across the sand before catching his balance. The boy didn't look like he was dangerous, or any kind of threat to them. He wasn't Rose in disguise or a super-weapon waiting to be used. He just looked like a boy who wanted to go home.

And they had wanted to leave him trapped in a bubble for the rest of eternity.

When he reached Lapis, Steven tripped again. He was having trouble walking. It felt like the Earth's gravity had suddenly grown stronger, and the world was blurring around him. Before he could get a face-full of sand, she caught him, and helped him back up to his feet. Steven gave her a weak smile, which she returned. Lapis then turned to the other gems, her smile gone.

"We're leaving." She hissed. "And don't even think about trying to stop us."

The gem turned to face the water. She summoned a sphere of water, and surrounded Steven with it. The stinging, salty chill of the ocean was enough to wake Steven up from his drowsy state again. He couldn't breathe! Lapis was walking closer to the waves. Steven shut out his distorted view of the world. The gem started to struggle, trying to get out of the water.

Lapis saw that he was struggling, and she instantly let go of him. Steven fell to the ground, coughing and spitting out salt water. He rubbed the stinging salt out of his eyes, trying to ignore the burn.

"Steven! Are you alright? What's wrong?"

"I-I couldn't breathe." He choked.

"Breathe?" She asked.

"H-humans need air to breathe."

"You're a human?!"

Steven coughed out more water, and shook his head. He peeled back his shirt, showing her his gem.

"N-no! I'm only half!"

"You lied to me! You're just another one of them!"

She pointed a hand at the Crystal Gems. The hand made of water followed the action, causing all of the gems to take up fighting stances.

"No I'm not! This place will never be my home!"

"How do I know you're not lying about that too?"

"I-"

Steven tried to reach out for Lapis, but the gem slapped away his hand.

"Get away from me."

The hand of water suddenly came down squarely upon Steven. He only had time to gasp in pain before he was pulled under the water once again. He was tossed up against the waves and thrown against the rocks. Steven felt his nose bend and snap. The smell and taste of blood washed across his face and got into his mouth.

He felt himself being pulled away from the rocks again, and swept back under the water. Steven struggled to fight against the currents swirling around him. He broke through the surface of the water, still blinded by salt and pain. Steven promised to himself that he wouldn't retreat back into his gem.

That was all be could do before a horribly familiar feeling of darkness took over his mind.