A/N: Hello, everyone! Long time no see, eh? *hides away from angry readers*. I'm really sorry that i haven't posted in a while. And yes, I find it ironic - is ironic the right word? Probably not - that it's nearly Valentine's day, and yet in this story, the lot of them are still stuck in December.

Anyhow, I wish all of you a very happy February, and I hope that you won't murder me if I take another two months to post a new chapter. It's midterms season and I can feel myself slowly descending into insanity.

I hope you enjoy reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it! Special thanks to Chloe for giving me some much needed goat-loving-inspiration.

Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, I wouldn't be typing this from my living room, but yes from a yacht.

Chapter Nine

Or

Shake, Bend and Break

(December sixth)

"This is, without a doubt, the most ridiculous plan you've ever come up with." Then, breaking into a grin, James added, "Of course I'm in."

"It'll be brilliant," agreed Peter.

"Well, let's go, then."

"Are we actually doing this? Are we really going to pull this off?"

"We always do," Sirius assured Remus. "Plus, Aberforth loves us."

At last, the holidays were less than a week away. And it was just as well; both the students and the professors were exhausted, as it had been a very tiring term. The grounds were coated in thick layers of snow, and it was too cold to even consider going outside.

That particular Thursday morning, during Transfiguration class, Professor McGonagall decided it would probably be best to double-check if the students who had signed up to go home during the holidays still wished to do so.

She'd just taken a scroll out of her desk drawer when someone screamed. With her wand at the ready, she quickly hurried over to the door, but when she opened it, she was greeted with, not one, not two, but dozens upon dozens of-

"Are those goats?" someone asked.

Two or three managed to make their way inside the classroom and, after Elizabeth's shrill cry, the students – on Thursdays, Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs always had their Transfiguration classes separately – promptly flooded out of the room.

It was a good thing, Lily realised, that none of the Marauders had come to class that day.

It took the Hogwarts staff over two hours to control what would soon become known as 'The Great Goat Incident of '76'.

The Marauders were nowhere to be seen, though at some point during lunch Peter Pettigrew had emerged from Merlin-knows-where to get the lot of them some food. Lily simply rolled her eyes; as if they didn't know their way to the kitchens. They'd probably just sent poor Peter into the Great Hall for the thrill of it.

For all it was worth, however, classes had been cancelled that morning, especially after a particularly angry buck nearly trampled Professor Flitwick, who had been teaching the sixth year Slytherin and Ravenclaw students. Furthermore, in the Hufflepuff classroom, one of the goats had chewed off the back of Ralph Stebbins' trousers, and Bertha Jorkins had laughed so hard that she'd fallen out of her chair, earning herself a trip to the infirmary.

Luckily, Lily's only class that afternoon was Ancient Studies, and perhaps because it was an elective, and there were only a few days until the holidays, Professor Hurst had allowed for the class to leave earlier than usual. Thus, she was able to have supper quite early in the evening and so, by the time eight o'clock rolled around, she was already in Gryffindor tower, curled up in one of the armchairs near the fireplace.

She was flipping through one of her most beloved romance novels, when she heard Mary Macdonald's voice.

"Where did they even get the goats? And how did they get so many?"

"And to get away with it, as well!" replied Elizabeth Vane, sitting down on the sofa on Lily's left side.

"Hello, girls," Lily greeted.

"Hi, Lily," Elizabeth replied, shooting a smile Lily's way.

"Hey," was Mary's response. Turning back to Elizabeth, she added, "It's not as though the teachers had proof."

Cracking open the latest issue of Witch Weekly, Elizabeth argued, "Still, setting over one hundred goats loose inside the castle? It's got 'Marauders' written all over it."

Lily simply shrugged. "Leave it to the lot of them to be able to pull this off."

"Where did you get that?" asked Mary, nodding to Elizabeth's magazine.

"Oh, I got it when we went to Hogsmeade. It's such a shame that they've stopped owl deliveries, isn't it? Anyway, I thought for sure you'd have gotten a copy for yourself."

"Hmm, yeah… didn't really get the chance," Mary hummed. "Scoot over, I wanna see."

"Can you believe Celestina Warbeck's son just got married? Doesn't time fly?"

"Perpetua Wiblin? I've never heard of her. Very pretty, though, I'll give him that."

"I know, right? Her robes are positively gorgeous! And lovely hair, as well. It reminds me of Farrah Fawcett's."

"Who?" asked Elizabeth.

Mary simply shook her head. "Never mind. Muggle actress."

"Ah," Elizabeth nodded.

"Wait," questioned Lily, "I thought you were halfblood?"

Elizabeth sighed. "Mum is… complicated. Likes to pretend we're purebloods. It's actually quite annoying. At least I'll have Susan with me this Christmas to act as a buffer."

"I get what you mean. My sister's similar…" Straightening up, Lily asked, "Speaking of which, have you seen Susan? McGonagall wanted me to speak with her."

"The last time we spoke she was heading out to practice."

Lily stood up instantly. "Right. I best be going then."

She made for the portrait, intent on marching to the pitch and speaking with Susan as soon as she possibly could, and so she would have, had Mary not called after her, "Lily, dear, you're in your pyjamas."

Heat rising to her cheeks, colouring them a particular shade of red, Lily reluctantly sat back down. "Oh, yeah. Whoops."

"Is it terribly urgent?" Elizabeth asked.

"Not at all. I'll just speak to her tomorrow."

At around six o'clock that evening, the Gryffindor team's Quidditch practice was cut short by a sullen-looking Professor McGonagall.

She'd walked right into the middle of the pitch and, casting a Sonorus charm on herself, called Sirius Black into her office, who, along with Susan Adams, was watching from the stands.

This alone wouldn't have interfered with practice too much. Who really put a stop to it was James Potter, who had noticed that the Headmistress had just called his best mate – who was on probation – into her office the same day of a prank, and had done the maths.

He was on the ground in less than a minute, but Sirius and McGonagall were gone by then.

The walk to the Transfiguration professor's study was a silent one. Not necessarily uncomfortable, but Sirius' previous visits to McGonagall's office that year had had less than stellar backstories behind them, and so it was only natural that he felt the jitters.

The look on her face was as stoic as ever, and so there were nothing for Sirius to discern from her behaviour. The only possible motive was the goats but, if that was the case, he couldn't help but wonder, why the wait? In spite of the scolding that was undoubtedly coming his way, however, Sirius could not control himself, and he was certain that when the time came, he'd make a proper spectacle of himself.

Professor McGonagall unlocked the door and, sitting down in her emerald velvet chair, she declared, "Mr. Black, you might be wondering what brings you here."

"Not at all. I know how delightful you find my company and so, naturally, I simply assumed that you missed me."

Instead of tensing her lips into a nearly invisible line as Sirius had expected she would, the Gryffindor Head of House looked down and sighed.

"I'm afraid that is not the case, Mr. Black."

"What is it, then?"

"A letter arrived today from the Ministry. It appears that your uncle Alphard has passed away," she said, handing him a sealed envelope. "This came attached."

Taking the letter from her hands, Sirius tore the seal and read:

This is the last will and testament of Alphard Cepheus Black.

[…]

To Sirius Orion Black, I leave half of my monetary estate, consisting of two hundred eighty-three thousand galleons, to be paid to him on my death, with all of my love to my honourable and deserving nephew. Look after Andromeda for me, will you?"

Trying not to choke on his words, Sirius simply replied, "Thank you."

"I'm very sorry for your loss."

Sirius nodded. "Is there anything else you need?"

"No, you may go down for supper. I've heard from a very good source that there'll be steak and kidney pies today. I know that you are rather partial to them."

"Yes, Professor."

"Professor Slughorn will have spoken with Regulus by now. You'd do best avoiding the Dungeons for a while," she warned him with a knowing look. "Oh, and Sirius?"

"Yes, Professor?"

"Do try and assert some control over Potter. And please, tell your friends that Professor Fraser has found a goat in the Astronomy Tower, will you?"

When Sirius left the Deputy Headmistress' office, James Potter was waiting by the door with his arms crossed in front of his chest, his face twisted into a painful-looking expression. He was tapping his foot incessantly, as though he felt the need to pace around for a while, but didn't want to leave his spot.

Finally noticing his best mate, he demanded, "So? What did she say to you?"

"Oh," started Sirius, "it's just that-"

James turned back to the now closed door, "Actually, let me speak with her myself-"

"There's no need for that, Prongs-"

"No, Padfoot, if she's called you up because of the goats, then you best believe that I'll march in there myself-"

"No! Prongs-"

"I mean, just because you fucked up last year doesn't mean-"

"PRONGS!" shouted Sirius, finally raising his voice.

"What?"

"It wasn't about the fucking goats, all right?"

James stopped in his tracks. "It wasn't?"

"No," clarified Sirius, shaking his head. "Uncle Alphard's dead."

"Oh." Rubbing the back of his neck, James added, "I'm… sorry?"

"Yeah. It's not like we were close or anything, but he was one of the good ones, you know? Not like me or 'Meda, he always kept more to himself, but still. I reckon Mum'll have had him blasted off the family tree by now."

"Why did Minnie need to talk to you about it, though?" asked James, lifting his right hand to his hair.

In response, Sirius simply handed James the folded piece of parchment. He quickly opened the page and read, eyes quickly darting from one side of the letter to the other.

Once he finished, his only response was a quiet "wow."

"Wow," Sirius agreed. "Are you hungry?"

"Definitely."

"Kitchens?"

"Yes. Moony and Wormtail can meet us there."

Once Susan finally appeared in the girl's dormitory, it was long past curfew.

"Where have you been?" Elizabeth hissed, trying her best not to wake the other girls, who by then were fast asleep – well, except Marlene, who was stuck in her own continuous loop of daydreaming.

"I was with James."

"We were worried. And Lily needs to speak with you."

"I'm fine, Lizzy." She gathered her things and started getting ready for bed. "Did she say why?"

"Something to do with McGonagall? I don't know, she said it wasn't, you know, super urgent or anything. And we're right to be concerned. Have you forgotten about that girl, Cassie? Or about what happened to Mary last year?"

"You're right," Susan sighed.

"Is everything all right?" Elizabeth asked, sitting cross-legged on her four-poster. "You seem a bit down."

"Oh, I don't know," she admitted, sitting down on the edge of Elizabeth's bed. "I was at the pitch, you know, watching practice, and everything was going perfectly fine, but when Professor McGonagall came along and took Sirius Black to her office, James put a stop to the whole thing and came sprinting inside.

"I know we haven't been together long, but it would be nice to get a warning every once in a while, to know what's going on with him," she added in a quieter voice.

"Have you tried talking to him about it?"

Susan grimaced. "What do you think we were doing just now?"

Elizabeth nodded in acknowledgment. "Well… How did it go?"

"Surprisingly well, actually. He apologised and promised to try to be more careful. I guess that's all I can really ask of him, isn't it?" wondered Susan, rising from her best mate's bed.

"I suppose so."

Then, finally lying down in her own four-poster, she added, "Sleep well, Lizzy."

"You too."

(The last day)

It was a Wednesday, more precisely Wednesday the twenty-second of December. In just under thirty minutes, the Hogwarts Express would be leaving the Hogsmeade station, headed for London, and Marlene was late. Instead of being at the platform, she was hidden inside an abandoned classroom on the first floor.

When Lucinda Talkalot walked in and noticed Marlene, she asked, with a confused look in her eyes but a smile on her face, "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to say goodbye. The train will be leaving shortly, and I really should be out of here by now, but I wanted to see you."

"Oh. You didn't have to, you know-"

"I've already told you, I wanted to," interrupted Marlene, tucking a loose strand of hair behind Lucinda's ear. "I wish you'd decided to come home this Christmas," she said in between kisses. "It'll be a long train ride without you there."

"Well," replied Lucinda, "you'll have your friends to distract you. And I'll be here once you get back."

"It won't be the same, though."

"I'll be thinking of you," replied Lucinda.

"As will I."

"Happy holidays, love."

"You too, dear. I'll see you in two weeks."

The train ride back to London was uncharacteristically quiet, as James spent much of it with his girlfriend, Susan.

Remus, Peter and Sirius decided to play Exploding Snap but, after a few matches, the group got bored of it, and instead wandered over to Lily, Marlene and Mary's compartment, where they spent the rest of the journey. Elizabeth was there, as well, chatting animatedly once again about how excited she was that Susan would be spending the holidays with her.

It was nearly six o'clock in the evening when the Hogwarts Express arrived at King's Cross. The sun had set long ago, and the station was exceptionally busy, forcing Lily to walk along the platform with her eyes squinted, trying to properly see through the smoke and the dust.

After fiddling with their trunks for a while, the group finally made it on to the platform. Susan and James slipped away for a moment to say their goodbyes to each other in private and, with the promise of meeting up during the holidays, she then left with Elizabeth's family to the Vane's household in Leeds.

"Have any of you seen Mary?" Lily asked, standing on the tips of her toes, looking into the crowd. "I wanted to say goodbye."

"She was just here," someone said.

"I think she was speaking with Bertram? It didn't look so good," replied Remus.

"What about Marlene?" Lily paused. "Why are all of my friends deserting me?"

"I reckon it's your terrible temper," replied Sirius. "Just puts 'em right off."

"But still… All of them, Evans? That's quite harsh. I feel wounded," said James, clutching at his chest.

"Oh, we're not friends, Potter. You're my… agonizing associate."

"Lovely alliteration there," James quipped.

"I do try, thank you," replied Lily, seemingly pleased with herself.

Then her eyes widened, and a smile stretched across her lips. "There you are!"

"Did you miss me?" asked Marlene.

"Have you seen Mary anywhere?"

"I have, actually," Marlene replied, lazily pulling her hair into a ponytail. "She wasn't feeling too well, and her dad was already waiting for her, so she asked me to wish all of you happy holidays for her."

"Thanks. I'll give her a call once I get home. Are you heading off, as well?"

"My sister's expecting me. Let me tell you, I am not looking forward to side-along Apparition with her. I always get sick."

"Oh, is Catherine here? Say hello to me for her, won't you, Mar?"

"Of course. I'll see you in a few days?"

"Most definitely! I'll call you after I speak with Mary."

The two hugged and, after saying goodbye to the remaining Gryffindors, Marlene finally left.

Shortly after, Peter's mother came to pick him up, and Remus took another train to Cardiff, where his parents would undoubtedly be waiting for him. It appeared that every single one of Lily's classmates had come home for the holidays but, funnily enough, she hadn't seen any of the upperclassmen Slytherins on the train.

"James!" Sirius shouted. "Mum and Dad are here. D'you want me to ask them to wait a little longer?"

"If you don't mind."

"Will do." Walking over to Lily and pulling her into a tight embrace, Sirius whispered in her ear, "Look after Prongs, will you? Otherwise he'll probably run off after some shiny object."

In response, Lily simply burst out laughing, which seemed to attract James' attention. "What are you two laughing at?"

"Nothing at all," replied Sirius in a smooth voice. "Merry Christmas, Lily… send my regards to Petunia."

"I will, Sirius. Be good."

Sirius merely replied with a wink, "Always."

As Sirius slinked away, heading to meet Mr. and Mrs. Potter outside Kings Cross, James and Lily were the only two Gryffindor sixth years left on the platform.

"Should you not be heading home?" Lily asked.

"It wouldn't be very gentlemanly of me to leave you here by yourself, would it? Besides," he added, looking around the platform, "I have a feeling your sister'll have a field day over this."

With a grimace, Lily replied, "Shit, is Petunia here already?"

And so she was. With her face scrunched up, as though disgusted by the whole affair, Petunia Evans stood next to the barrier between Platforms Nine and Ten, tapping her foot on the floor and staring at her wristwatch. That was the one reason why Lily wasn't excited about the holidays. She sighed. At least in two weeks she'd be back at Hogwarts.

"I'm really sorry but I've got to go, Potter. She'll murder me otherwise."

James nodded in understanding.

"Let's meet up over the holidays."

"Yes, let's do that." Then, Lily took a step forward and hooked her arms around James' neck. "Happy Christmas."

"Happy Christmas, Lily."

With a smile on her face, and preparing herself for the worst, Lily turned around and, as James returned to his family, she walked over to where her sister was standing.

"Hello, Petunia."

"Lily," she nodded. "It was about time. Mum had some work thing and so she needed me to pick you up. Vernon's waiting in the car."

Lily sighed. "So you're still dating him, huh?"

"Yes, of course, " Petunia replied proudly. "We're serious."

"Why, Tuney?"

"Oh, be quiet." Then, after a few moments of, in Lily's opinion, blissful silence, Petunia asked, "Was that your boyfriend?"

"Of course not, Tuney. I think I'd choose one who'd know how to properly comb his hair, do you not?"

"Funny."

"I thought so, too."

"We're almost home. Try not to act normal, will you?" asked Petunia, scrunching up her nose. "I haven't told Vernon about your… freakish tendencies."

"Scared he'll dump you for it, are you?"

"Not at all, Vernon loves me. Just get in the car."

"Will do, sister dear. Hello, Vernon." Petunia's boyfriend simply grunted in response. It was going to be a long two weeks.

A/N: As usual, please let me know what you thought of it and I will check back in (hopefully) less than two months. I make no promises, though. x