Chapter 10

Crowley sat back and howled with laughter as he watched the replay that was showing on his screen. He knew that Katherine had the makings of a demon. She just had a different way about doing it. That exploding head though was a classic in his book.

One of the benefits about being the king of the crossroads was that he had access to surveillance and was able to call in a couple of favors. They were able to broadcast everything she was up to and they recorded it for posterity and to hell with the dragon in Archives. So Crowley spent most of the time, aside from the deals he was making, watching the replays of what was going on in that town.

The biggest surprise was that his sweetheart was there to witness it and the look on her face… it was priceless. She literally saw someone's head explode after kicking the bucket. And who said that those stupid sayings were worthless. Crowley had to congratulate himself since he did take Katherine aside and told her to literally have fun.

There were a few others that he got a good laugh at. He saw what was happening to good ole Dean and thought that she was really being creative. Like Cary, he sort of understood the workings of Katherine's mind which was why he created the puppy patrol. He had seen how Dean was suckered in to her charms and now was actually regretting saying anything.

"Any progress?"

Crowley looked up to see Lilith storming into his office looking ready to peel the skin off some poor sap's bones. He made a slight face as he looked at her and replied, "The field report you have to wait for like everyone else. If you want to know, take a look."

Lilith walked around the desk to get a look at what Crowley was looking at. She looked at him, "You pulled resources from surveillance?"

"I figured that a visual look at what the puppy division can do would be beneficial since you are so keen that a certain earth bound angel would smite her," Crowley replied.

Lilith looked at Crowley before studying the computer screen. It was broken up like a security view screen would be with camera angles established; just like any other surveillance job. She saw one screen in a constant replay and saw that Absolution was there watching some meat's head explode after kicking a bucket. The live feed was showing people running around and screaming 'bloody murder' and one was walking around with his fist in a mailbox and couldn't seem to get it out. She looked at Crowley and asked, "This is what that thing from puppy division is doing?"

"Pretty good I think. Some poor schmucks get a nice ticket to the other side and they are strange enough to draw the Winchesters and their pet to the town and investigate. As you can see, one is already suffering from that," Crowley replied as he pointed to the screen that was showing Dean Winchester running from someone while on a beach.

Lilith couldn't see at first what was funny about that until the one chasing Dean revealed themselves to be a guy and he was crooning after Dean. She got what it was and started chuckling. That was pretty funny. The exploding head she had to admit was good since she had a few minions that could do that. "Alright it is good but why the…" She motioned at the screen.

"Like Cary said, this particular employee needs to have it kept simple. Plus it takes a special know-how to be able to get her to succeed in her cases."

"You told her something didn't you?"

Crowley gave a slight blow on his fingernails and then buffed them on his suit lapel. "Did you really think that I would let her walk away after you talked to her? Particularly after your talk about possibly killing the Winchesters?"

"You fiend."

"You may be upper management love, but I am king of the crossroads. You didn't appoint me to be your right hand man for nothing." Crowley gave a pointed look at Lilith. He studied her as he positioned his hands like he was going to sit and study an interesting specimen. "I made it simple and told her to have fun. An employee like Katherine has to be handled in a certain manner. That she is loyal to the company is not in dispute. The manner in which she carries out her job is left to debate and if done correctly, it can prove profitable."

"As amusing as it is to see Dean being chased by a sex crazed male, I would rather have it a bit more bloody," Lilith pouted. Normally she would have unleashed her wrath had it been anyone else but Crowley that talked to her like that. Cary was another exception since he was the best at what he did in his division and she did rather like the little worm.

"Katherine will deliver. She is unconventional but there are a few things that she can do that are rarely seen. As I said, it takes a special kind of handling to get her to do exactly what you want to happen." Crowley gave a patronizing look as he motioned with his hands. "If you want more blood and a fight, it will happen. Absolution will give it."

"I don't want Absolution dead. I want her broken."

"I don't think that's about to happen anytime soon. The angel's pet warrior princess has changed. Surely you must have noticed or are you too busy trying to locate the next seal you want to break?"

Lilith scowled as she looked at Crowley. She didn't see any difference. She saw the same overprotective bitch that had power but was afraid to use it. Well she couldn't lie that she was concerned about a couple of new abilities that cropped up when Jade called her to Kansas City and that whole thing. Absolution had gained a few powers and she used them readily and that told Lilith that wherever she had disappeared to had some effect on her. That was perfect since the plan required that Absolution be more developed than what she was.

"You know, I know a few aquariums that have a couple of seals for you to break."

Lilith deepened the scowl at Crowley. He had to remind her of that. She replied, "The seal I want is particularly difficult to find and the bastard who would know aren't talking."

"Maybe you need to ask them nicely. It is professional courtesy after all," Crowley mocked her knowing full well that the ones that did know would rather suffer torture and die than reveal a seal. Well at least Katherine was doing what she was supposed to do. She was keeping the Winchesters and company from getting too interested in the seals.

"Professional courtesy only extends to within the company since the inquiries were made of the other side," Lilith replied through gritted teeth.

"Still professional courtesy is required. Though maybe you should consider a consultant in this area," Crowley replied, enjoying that he was pushing Lilith's buttons. He was risking serious dismemberment or worse if he continued to agitate her but he had already done so with the favors he had done for his sweetheart. Thinking about it, he would do it again and only because he liked his sweetheart.

"Consultant?"

"No one can do everything. Of course you know that. That's why you have the riffraff doing the grunt work for you."

"I do my share."

"Of course because you're upper management. We really do have a cushy job," Crowley mocked. He had it good but he still put his hand in the pot to get the job done. He liked the occasional grunt work and he did believe that if you wanted something important done right, you did it yourself unless you had a very competent right hand man.

"Don't be a piss ant."

"It's what I do best," Crowley replied. "Even Absolution thought I was an ass when I tried to sweet talk her. The nice thing was she didn't try to gank my ass the moment I showed my face."

Lilith studied Crowley. That was just like him to poach on her preserves considering that they were both after the same thing. She couldn't deny it though that the man did have a way of getting attention and keeping the more serious end of business away until his piece was said. Cary was the same way when he wanted to be and it seemed to work. She looked at the screen and noticed her 'favorites' had met up and were talking.

"So you know a means of getting the location?"

"I know a consultant," Crowley replied emphasizing that he had someone in mind to do the job. It was obvious in his mind that he had a way of persuading certain reluctant parties to let him get a corner on the market depending on what the current interest is. He did have an idea and if it was what he thought Lilith wanted then there was going to be some interesting fun along the way.

"Fine," Lilith snapped. "You have a consultant. Can he persuade the reluctant parties to reveal the location of the seal?"

"Katherine can help in that regard. She did find you a seal." Crowley was being an ass on purpose since it was a lot of fun to get Lilith riled up. He could understand the appeal of it to his sweetheart when she would shoot at him. He was pissed but he rather liked it since it did reveal a bit of an aggressive side to her.

"Don't be an idiot. You know I am referring to a different kind of seal," Lilith replied as her eyes narrowed dangerously. "Can they do it?"

"Of course. Let's just say that the consultant I know of has a way of making outside parties do the dirty work in the name of good. Saves trouble and provides entertainment in terms of betrayal and other things that the walking meat suits angst over." Crowley gave a bit of a shrug of his shoulders as if it didn't matter what she decided. Even though his job was in the hands of upper management for now, he wasn't going to let it dictate his work. He had a backbone and his sweetheart knew it and he knew about hers which was why he was amused at her reaction to Katherine's blood display.

Lilith eyed Crowley with suspicion since she could guess that he might be up to something. "You already know where it is, don't you?"

"I know as much as you, princess, which is squat for the moment," Crowley replied with a straight face. It was how he was able to get anything done. He never revealed his hand especially when it was a high stakes match. "I just happen to know associates that know me and we have a business relationship."

Lilith glared at the demon. She really wanted to strangle Crowley but because of his standing, she had the ability to cause chaos within crossroads. The sales associates took their cues from him and he was good at enforcing the red tape. He did literally write the book on crossroad deals, which she considered a slight embarrassment since she was the first. "You do know something."

"I know that you want to pink slip my puppy division director and yet here surveillance is providing evidence that she is pretty effective," Crowley replied, steering the conversation back towards Katherine. The rudiments of a plan were forming and already working on the first draft of a project proposal.

Lilith shot a gimlet eye at Crowley as she went back to surveying the demon in question and her work. She did have to admit that puppy division within crossroads did have good results even though they were borderline absurd. She was amused at Dean's predicament. "Well if puppy division can really screw with the Winchesters and kill them in the process or at least maim them, then I will consider contracting the division for more special projects."

"Well puppy division will be pleased." Crowley gave the pretense of a smile and it sounded sarcastic as was his usual demeanor.

Lilith turned to look at Crowley, "And you will contract your consultant. This seal I really want." She laid a file on Crowley's desk. "Here is the information. You will see why it is important." She stood up straight to take her leave. She started towards the door and paused just as she put her hand on the knob, "Oh and Crowley, report directly to me on this."

Crowley made a slight face of suspicion as Lilith left. He put his hand on the file and studied the door to his office. "Oh I will report what you want Lilith but I think that I will try a few things." He opened the file and began to read.

Dean knew that hell was preferable to the misery he was being made to suffer. He didn't swing that way and he made it clear to anybody that was listening… even if she wasn't able to do anything about it now. Thinking about it, he felt ridiculous demanding that Angela do something to get him out of his predicament and yet he felt better doing it.

The last thing that seemed to make any sense was that he was talking to the strawberry blonde who came over and decided to flirt with him. He thought she was hot and potentially a bright side to the fact that he had actually seen pink elephants.

The flirting was his usual and he was able to ignore the fact that he was not paying attention to Angela. He figured that she would mellow out after a couple of beers and the like. He knew she wouldn't get drunk but get enough whiskey she became mellow. She still had good reflexes but she appeared lethargic and ready to move forward. The next thing he knew, the blonde was asking him if he wanted a sex on the beach and explained that it was her favorite drink.

He had asked, "A sex on the beach?"

The next minute or second, he found himself on a beach. The scenery looked like he was in Hawaii with the clear water and the white sandy beach and some palm trees. He could even hear seagulls shooting their beaks off and he was sitting on a beach chair. It was cool; something that he could dream about but what happened next had him in this… whatever.

He couldn't make out who it was at first because of the glare of the sun until they moved in and spoke. That had Dean bolt upright in his seat and he was on his feet. The guy that came crooning that he wanted to make Dean feel good and he kept coming and Dean went with instinct: he ran.

It didn't take long for Dean to figure out that wherever he was; it looked big but it was actually small. There were only so many places that he could hide and avoid the surfer douche that wanted to do… He couldn't even think about it. He so did not swing that way. It was some relief that Angela called but it didn't help that his demands were unrealistic.

It felt like he was running in circles and the scenery just changed until he fell and actually rolled down a sandy hill. When he stood up, he was in a cage. Great, like that is original. I hope I don't see any ghosts.

"You actually look rather cute in there Dean."

Dean didn't touch the bars since he didn't want to think what that would do. He did look to see that blonde chick as she stood looking amused at him and she was leaning against the surfer douche. The strange thing was that the guy looked like Sam in terms of the long goldilocks but other than that, he was a douchebag. He replied, "What is it? My perky nipples?"

The blonde smirked at Dean. She snapped her fingers. "You are rather amusing."

Dean felt his chest poke and looked down. He had to open his big mouth. "What the hell?"

"You were the one that said you had perky nipples."

Dean did his best to ignore the fact that his nipples were actually being perky. He glared at the blonde. "Okay I get the idioms crap. I'm sure it was funny to you when a guy lost his marbles and another blew a head gasket when he kicked the bucket."

"That seems to amuse almost everyone. The funny thing is that the people involved are so easy to draw in and then business can be conducted. Of course a few mishaps are to occur along the way. I mean I was supposed to catch a dhampir that was a water manipulator in Missouri and I ended up with a dhampir that can move things. The things that can happen with surveillance…"

"Wait a minute," Dean replied as he rubbed his nipples to ease the soreness, "That was you that dug that stupid hole and then tried to gang up on my girl?"

"Sure didn't look like she was yours. The tall fellow that was like a puppy seemed to like her enough." She then turned and started pacing while taking amusement in the sand. She glanced occasionally at Dean.

Dean knew that she was talking about and he didn't like it at all. "So you're the demon that attacked them?"

The blonde giggled and closed her eyes. When she opened them, they showed the familiar inky black. She smiled at Dean.

"Meg?"

"Katherine."

Dean made a scoffing noise at that. Like he really cared to know who it was. The only other demon he knew that actually wanted to kill him and messed with his brother was Meg. Cary didn't count since that was Angela's thing and the bastard was a stoolie or a worm as she called him. Ruby he wanted to kill even though he could admit she saved his ass a few times.

Even though Dean hated being restrained, he was grateful that the bars put some distance between him and the douchey surfer dude. He definitely did not like how the guy was looking at him the way he looked at his pie. He instead focused on the demon that was looking at him with a curious expression and asked, "So what do you want?"

Katherine looked at Dean. So this is the one that broke the first seal. No wonder Miss Lilith wants to keep him distracted and she wants the younger one dead. She thought Dean to be something fascinating as she replied, "Oh nothing more than to provide a case. Maybe kill Sam Winchester in the process."

Dean noticed that she looked distracted but that was nothing compared to the fierce protectiveness that arose, "You touch my brother and I will gank your ass you bitch."

Katherine looked up and locked eyes on Dean. She moved her head side to side as if to study him like a curious little puppy. "Why so grumpy Dean? You should be happy that you fell in with a fantasy of yours."

Dean looked at the demon as if she were crazy. Most demons respond in the usual fashion with a threat of their own or something else that was typically demon. Here this one was asking him why he was unhappy. Wasn't it obvious? The bitch just threatened to kill his brother… like that was ever going to happen considering that Angela would probably smite the whole place with some unknown superpower of hers before that would happen.

"Well Dean. Didn't you agree to this?"

This was starting to sound like he made a crossroad deal and Dean was certain that he didn't. Who the hell was this demon? He decided that the best way to get answers was to play along for a time. It seemed that she might respond to that. That meant that he had to pretty much behave like Sam would when they did one of their covers. He admitted, "Okay I admit to a fantasy of doing on a beach but with a hot girl and not some douched up surfer jock."

"Well you did say 'a sex on the beach'." Katherine looked at Dean as if she still couldn't get why he wasn't happy with his little distraction. "Did that necessarily mean a female?"

Dean paused a bit. It was like Angela had been saying about those idioms and it looked like a play on words too. No wonder she sounded like she was babbling when he picked her up at the station. His girl figured it out and it sounded like she was going crazy with them. The perks and downsides to having two geeks as partners and family. He gave a slight nod as if to concede that the demon had a point, "Alright I'll admit that you got me there but a hexed tree? That sounds like something out of a cartoon."

"Poorly timed," Katherine replied with a disappointed sigh. "Much like the hole in Missouri. That was poorly executed and I noted that in my report."

"Look the only reason that hole failed was because you didn't dig it deep enough and besides…" Dean gave a know-it-all smirk. He couldn't help it since he had that much confidence and he had witnessed firsthand when someone got on Angela's bad side. "… Angie would see it coming from a mile away."

"I heard that she has the eyes of a hawk. I wonder if it is true," Katherine mused.

Dean dropped the smirk. He really was going to have to watch what he said around this demon. If this demon took idioms literally, then he could say something that would ultimately do more harm than good. He might end up killing Sam or Angela or something equally bad. The last thing he said wasn't all that bad was it? It was true that Angela did have the ability to see things that were often easily missed but that was more along the lines of training to observe what people missed. Hell she told him that. Yet thinking about it, it occurred to Dean that it could have a deadly twist to it and he really didn't want to think about that possibility. "Well she is good at finding things," he said lamely since it was on the tip of his tongue to say something that could be taken the wrong way.

"Oh hide and seek. That would be interesting but that would mean that the puppy following her would need to play too." Katherine was frowning lost in thought even though she was listening to everything that Dean was saying.

Great. Though it is nice to see that someone else thinks of Sam that way. It really wasn't the time or the place but Dean couldn't help it. "Um that is probably not a good idea. Angie may be good at finding things but if you mess with her… that's just asking for trouble."

Katherine turned her attention towards Dean and studied him. It made Dean feel a little uncomfortable with her looking at him like that. Angela did the same thing when she was trying to get to the bottom of things and sort the fib from the truth but the demon had less warmth. It was creepy. She then said, "Absolution has eyes like a hawk. Finding things… very interesting."

Dean was certain that trouble was coming. "Hey, don't mess with her. That's like asking an angel to smite your ass."

"The earth bound angel can find it. Yes I believe she can." Katherine turned to walk away. She paused a moment before snapping her fingers. "Perky nipples are boring but have fun with your sex on the beach."

Dean realized that the cage was gone and there was nothing to put space between him and the crazy guy. He backed up when the guy started forward. It turned to a full on run and it was back to being chased. Fuck this. Angie, please figure something out and get me out of here!

A/N: Crowley and Lilith have a moment and Dean talks to Katherine before getting another run at the surfer douche. I hope he didn't say anything to cause trouble... Find out more on The Failed Demon...