But he's just a ramen chef!
Authors note: Sorry this took so long, I'm not really writing a lot right now. I hope this chapter is up to par.
Chapter ten
It was a calm day in Konoha. The sun was out birds, were chirping, and the over all atmosphere was peace. "Konohamaru-kun..." Mogei leaned against his arm as they walked down the street. Konohamaru rubbed the back of his head and was blushing like a mad man. They had started dating not long after the little incident some month's ago. She smiled at his bashfulness and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
Konohamaru's eyes glazed over and he grinned like an idiot. Smoke seemed to rise of his face, as it turned beet red. He paid no attention to where he was going and thus bumped into someone...hard.
"Hey brat watch where you are going." said a tall Iwa-nin dressed in a large fishnet shirt. His hair was a dull gray and pulled over his eyes. Chains wrapped around his waist, in a crisscross fashion, and his forehead protector was being used as a belt. He had a scowl on his face, making his rough nature known to any passerbyer.
"So-sorry." stuttered out Konohamaru a little shaken by the nin.
"Tetsu, cut it out, your scaring the poor kid."
"You just keep causing trouble don't you."
Two girls walked up from behind the boy. One was around sixteen or fifteen. She had pitch black hair and bright green eyes. She wore standard shinobi attire and the Iwa symbol was proudly worn on her right bicep. She was curvy and well...hot. Konohamaru's jaw literally hit the floor, and an intense blush formed on his face. Mogei, simply hit him over the head for such actions.
The other girl...was young? She was short, just a little under Konohamaru's height and couldn't have been more then ten or eleven. Her brown hair was done back in a neat ponytail. She wore a hiate around her neck. She was dressed in a gray shirt, and vest. Black short shinobi pants fitted her lower half, and bandages were wrapped around her ankles. She had rather striking blue eyes.
The boy Tetsu regarded both of them. "I'm not the one causing trouble...its this kid." he said pointing to Konohamaru.
Konohamaru looked up at him with a glare. "Hey bud, I already said I was sorry, so let it go." said the young boy with a twinge of anger showing.
Tetsu began to smirk. "So...you can talk properly...I had thought you were to scared to move that tongue of yours." he said in a mocking manner. Konohamaru gave a low growl and took a step forward. Moegi grabbed his arm.
"Don't Konohamaru, lets just go."
He heard Tetsu give a low chuckle of amusement, and Konohamaru blushed a little embarrassed. "Mogei, let me go! This guys asking for it!" He took a step forward to attack, only to be hoisted up by the back of his collar. Konohamaru turned his head angrily to look at who grabbed him. His eyes met blue, and he was now staring in the face of Uzumaki Naruto.
"Naruto, Let me go!!! What do you think you are doing?!!!" shouted Konohamaru.
"Stopping you from getting your ass kicked." said Naruto bluntly. "The old man would have my head, if he knew I was around while his grandson was beaten to death."
Konohamaru stared at him with a questioning gaze.
"What?" asked Naruto.
"Naruto...are you...sober?"
Naruto dropped him on the ground rather roughly and began waving his hand dismissively. "Yes, yes, I know, miracles happen daily, and the wonders never cease...give me an hour and the norm will return." said Naruto patting the sake bottle tide to his left side.
The Iwa-nin eyed the new comer carefully. Their movements were silent and went unnoticed, as they prepared to defend themselves. Naruto looked over at them, particularly the older attractive girl. He walked over to her with a grin on his face. The group watched his steps carefully.To their surprise there was no evil intent in the air, or anything of the kind. He grabbed the girl hand, and stared deeply in her eyes.
His gaze was so intense she felt her face heat up. "May I ask the name of the girl who has caught my eye?" asked Naruto in a seductive voice. Tetsu now had a kunai in his hand and was gripping it hard, however one glare from the younger girl calmed him down.
"Its Yukia...umm...nice to meet you." The girl's face began to turn redder.
"Can you please let go of Onee-chan?" said the youngest girl there. Naruto looked over at her with an impassive face. He patted her on the head, something that surprised everyone, and smiled.
"Its a shame someone as young as you is a shinobi..." he looked back up at the two other Iwa-nin. "FEEL FREE TO COME AND SAMPLE THE WONDERS OF ICHIRAKU'S RAMEN STAND!!!"
He threw them all coupons and laughed merrily. Tetsu only glared at the blond. Naruto stopped laughing at looked at him. "Except you...I don't like you." said Naruto. Tetsu looked surprised for a moment, before Naruto started laughing again.
"I-it was nice meeting you." said Yukia. Naruto looked at her and winked. She avoided his gaze. (A/n: Yes, I'm giving Naruto, that unreal flirtatious sex appeal that every guy wished he had, so sue me. It makes the story interesting.)
The youngest of the group walked up to him. Naruto looked down and gave her a small smile. "I like you." she said.
Naruto looked a little surprised. "Uh...umm you might want to wait a couple of years..."
"Your funny." she said. The girl looked over at her teammates. "Lets go."
The Iwa group walked down the path away from Naruto and the others. Konohamaru didn't give them a second glance, in fact he looked rather pissed. Mogei looked a lot more interested though. "Why were Iwa-nin in Konoha?"
"They're here for the Chuunin exam." said Naruto stretching his upper body. Konohamaru only seemed to scowl more at that. He grabbed Mogei's arm and began to walk away.
"I could have beaten him." he said to Naruto. Naruto scuffed and Konohamaru stormed off with Mogei in toe. As the disappeared around a corner, Naruto's face hardened a little.
He turned around and looked at the retreating forms of the Iwa group. His gaze landed on the youngest of the group. His eyes began to shake with many emotions, emotions that didn't go away, even after the group was out of sight. He heavily leaned against the wooden fence, and fell on his ass. He sat there blankly for a while, before tears started to silently run down his face. His shaky hand went to his sake bottle where he then proceeded to uncork the top.
Naruto brought the lip of the bottle to his own and started drinking...hoping to feel better.
"What the hell was that about?!" asked Tetsu with an accusing look. He stared at both his teammates.
"he was cute..." said Yukia blushing.
"He was funny." said the youngest.
Tetsu glared at them, and the temperature seemed to rise from the tension. "Don't forget why we are here...you can't go around making friends."
"We know." said the two girls in unison.
Tetsu did not seem to back off. "I don't think you do, especially you Akane...or did you forget what happens when you make friends with the-"
Tetsu was pinned to the wall and held hanging against it by some invisible force. His throat could openly be seen being crushed, and his eyes were wide with fear. His body was struggling, attempting get free.
"Akane stop please, he didn't mean to!" said Yukia in a pleading voice to the little girl beside her.
Akane's face had shifted from carefree to a dark and murderously cold exterior. Her eyes were narrowed, and held a sort of deadliness to them. Her arm was extended forward and her fist was tightly clenched. She pushed it forward and the pressure on Tetsu only seemed to intensify.
Tears were leaking out his eyes, as his face turned a dark shade of red, shifting to purple from lack of air. She unclenched her hand and his body fell to the ground. The boy began gasping for breath. His form looked exhausted and was shaking from the pressure he had just been put under.
"Akane...I'm...sorry." he said in between gasps. Akane said nothing, she snapped her fingers and Tetsu's arm snapped back in an unnatural way, breaking it. He would have screamed out in pain, had it not been for his own hand muffling his mouth.
Akane walked off without another word. Yukia came to Tetsu's side, her hands glowing green with healing chakra, as she began to set his bones back into place.
"It will take a week to heal...what were you thinking, why would you say that?" she asked with an accused but worried look in her eyes.
"I'm sorry...I was just a little peeved and didn't think straight...I thought that since we were friends..."
"She has no friends." said Yukia with sad eyes. She looked at the little girl, who had long since gotten out of hearing range. "No matter how many people would like to be one..."
Ichiraku ramen stand, a place that has stunned the culinary world with its fabulous ramen. The meal had once been something so simple, but the assistant chef at this stand has taken it to legendary status. Now the name Ichiraku is known world wide for its taste, sophistication, and over all peaceful atmosphere.
"ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!!" shouted the voice of a very familiar old man.
"But daddy!!" said Ayame in a pleading voice. Old man Ichiraku's face remained stony. The old man...has finally returned.
"The answer is NO!!! He can not work here." said the old man pointing to Zabuza, who at the moment was looking down with a defeated gaze.
"But why not!!!" shouted Ayame matching her fathers tone. "Give me one reason why not!!!"
The old man pulled out a rather large list, he carefully put on his reading glasses and cleared his throat. "Since he's been here he has broken eight stoves, attacked a total of twenty-eight customers a week, attracted several lawsuits, broke the front counter..."
"That last one Naruto did arm wrestling!" interjected Ayame, trying to lighten the charges stacked against Zabuza.
"...Given several people food poisoning, and frankly Ayame...he scares me." said the old man peeking over his daughter's shoulders at the 'Demon'.
"But daddy, give him some time...I promise you he will improve."
"NO...he can not stay, for heavens sakes Ayame, LOOK WHAT HE'S DONE TO YOUR MOTHERS BELOVED FRYING PAN!!!!"
The chef held up the very dented cooking instrument. Ayame blushed and was forced to look away. Evidence was being stacked against the poor former Demon of the Mist, and the situation looked very grim. However, Haku had had enough of this, and decided to act.
The feminine boy sauntered over to the chef with a pleading look in his eyes. In a voice that sounded distinctly female, he said. "Please Ichiraku-sama...don't fire Zabuza." Haku's eyes began to water up.
The old man's heart melted. "Oh...all right he can stay."
Haku put her hands together and gave a girlish squeal of delight, something the old man blushed at. Haku then walked back over to Zabuza.
The Demon said nothing, he just stared at Haku like he'd grown a second head. "You...you were very...convincing."
Comedic tears traveled down Haku's face. "I know, it scared me to." Tsunami placed an arm around Haku and gave him a tight hug.
"You were so cute out there Haku-chan." said the woman. Haku blushed a little, at the closeness of Tsunami.
Old man Ichiraku cleared his throat, catching everyones attention. "Well...even if I've decided to keep Zabuza, it doesn't change the fact that we are seriously in debt and need money quick."
At that moment Naruto ran in and threw confetti into the air. "TADA!!!!!!!!!" he shouted happily. "I have a solution to your problem-"
Everyone was currently ignoring his presence. They were not distracted even for a second from the current topic. This pissed Naruto off. He ran up to them.
"Hey hey don't ignor-"
He was slammed in the face by Ayame's frying pan. The chef's daughter didn't even look away from the group when she hit him. She spoke as if nothing had occurred. "So is there anything we can do?" she asked.
Naruto's twitching hand made its way up from the ground. "I told you that I have an ide-" Naruto was sunk deeper into the concrete as Ayame pummeled him again and again with the frying pan.
"Naruto this is serious. We don't have time for your idiocy." she said with a deadpanned expression.
"Ayame, maybe we should hear Naruto-kun out." said Tsunami with a bright smile. Ayame just let out a sigh. Tsunami then looked back at Naruto and gave him an encouraging look.
Naruto stumbled to his feet, his face was bruised and bloody from the beating Ayame had dished out. "Okay...here is my idea...TOPLESS WAITRESSES!!!"
Ayame was joined by Tsunami in utterly stomping Naruto into the earth. "You perverted jerk!" said Ayame.
"I can't believe I trusted you!!!" shouted Tsunami.
Once they had finished Naruto was left twitching in a crater imprinted to the exacted shape of his body. His one hand suddenly shot out and a metaphorical light bulb appeared above it. "I HAVE ANOTHER IDEA!!!" he said suddenly.
Hanabi stood with her teammates in front of the building they would take the exam in. She couldn't help but notice the intense blush Sakura sported on her cheeks. She raised a curious eyebrow at her friend. Sakura merely looked down to avoid Hanabi.
Sasuke looked as confident as ever. He gave the building in front of him a disinterested look. They took another step forward when Kakashi appeared. "You all showed up, good." he said his eye forming a 'U'. "I wish you all the best of luck."
"Sensei, you may it sound like we don't stand a chance." said Sakura. Kakashi only seemed to brighten at that. He didn't respond as he left, leaving his team clueless as ever.
"Lets move." said Sasuke. Hanabi didn't look happy at being ordered around but followed him anyway. Sakura stumbled a little before walking behind them. A wave of excitement washed over them.
This was it...the Chuunin Exams...
"I can't believe they let the walking billboard into this exam." said Ino grinning as Sakura walked in. Sakura simply glared at Ino, not gracing her with a response. Ino only chuckled, before finally seeing Sasuke, where she then went into fan girl mode. Hearts appeared in her eyes and she jumped on his back, all but groping his body as she did so. Sakura's brow began to twitch in fury.
"Hey Sasuke, see you made it." said Kiba walking up with his team. Shino stood behind the dog boy in his usual passive way. And Hinata stood at his side in her usual timid way.
The Genin hopefuls looked around the room, eying up the competition with scrutinizing gazes. It was crowded, Leaf genin teams littered the room and it became quite clear that Konoha had the advantage with so many teams present.
Hanabi's presence stuck out the most. She was probably the youngest there, even if Konoha was the only village to change the graduating age. She allowed herself a smug look, such an accomplishment was a testament to her strength. However she was brought out of her musings when someone bumped against her.
She turned and glared at the person...only to see a ten year old girl.
"Sorry." said the girl
Hanabi nearly fell over at the irony of the situation.
"Well at least I won't have to put up with-"
"COME ONE COME ALL! TASTE THE WORLDS GREATEST RAMEN!!!" shouted a voice above the crowd. Hanabi froze up in an instant, turning her head ever the slightest to her left.
Naruto stood in all his glory waving a bell to attract attention. In one hand he held his ever present sake bottle, something he took a swig from every so often. Behind was a portable ramen stand. Haku stood inside making the noodles, while Zabuza...well Zabuza was strapped to the front of the cart to pull it.
"Why can't I cook in the kitchen?" he asked himself with a sweat drop.
Naruto laughed and rang the bell in his hand faster, drawing everyones attention. A long line had already formed in front of the modest cart. Naruto laughed even louder at that.
The rookie nine stood in front of the chef with disbelieving looks. They only stared at the chef in awkward silence. "Mr. Chef, what are you doing here?"
The group all looked to the young girl who had bumped into Hanabi not long ago, behind her stood two people. Her teammates. Upon spotting Yukia, Naruto's face sobered up dramatically.
He quickly grabbed Yukia's hand and brought their faces far to close together. "To answer her question, my beloved Yukia-chan...I came...to see you." he said huskily.
"Cut the crap asshole!" said Tetsu taking a step forward. "Why are you here, only shinobi are allowed anywhere near the exam!"
Naruto looked over at Tetsu with disinterest. He briefly eyed the new cast around Tetsu's arm. Naruto then looked Tetsu in the eye, and with a dead panned expression, he said. "Go away."
Before Tetsu could respond, Akane walked in front of him. "But really Mr. Chef why are you here?" she asked with a more forceful tone, that almost wined for an answer.
Naruto took another swig of his sake before sitting down cross legged. He brought his hand to his chin and seemed to ponder how to answer...he also looked very drunk once again.
"Welll...lettsss see?" he started his speech finally taking on more of a slurred pattern. "Beingggg that I'm intoxaaaa...intoxiccccc...entixcic..."
"Intoxicated." said Haku from the stand.
"Yeah, what she said." said Naruto. Haku looked down, and went into a dark place. "Since I'm intoxicated right nowww...I don'tt thinnnnkkk I cannnn answer that questionnnn right...soooooooo ZABUZA!!! TELL THEM OF YOURRRR SHAMMMEEEE!!!"
The cold former Demon looked over at the group. His face was frustrated and even a little embarrassed. "I broke stuff...we need money...with all these people here Naruto thought it would be brilliant if we came here to sell ramen." he didn't look at the group any longer, turning his head to stare into nothingness.
Naruto looked over at him and scratched his head. "Thattt soundds like a a a dumb plannnn, are youu sure that's why we're heree?" he said. Everyone gave a sweat drop at that.
Before the conversation could continue any further, a man with silver white hair walked up to them. He adjusted his glasses and looked at the group. "You know, you rookies should really keep it down." said the boy.
"And who are you?" asked Sasuke with a cold glance.
"Oh, of course, where are my manners?" said the boy. "My name is Kabuto, I'm a leaf Genin like yourselves."
"Is this your first time taking the exam Kabuto-san?" asked Sakura. The boy merely shook his head.
"No, this is my sixth time."
The boy continued to converse with the others, while Naruto fell back by Haku.
"Hey Haku, lookkk at that guy ovverrr there." said the chef.
Haku gave another bowl of ramen to another customer. He briefly glanced over at Kabuto. "What about him?"
Naruto grinned. "I think he might be...you know." Haku's eye began to twitch. "Maybe you should go over there and 'get friendly' if you knoww what I meannn."
Haku's entire body was now twitching. "I'm...not...ga-" Haku could not finish that sentence as Naruto grabbed him by the collar and brought him over to where the rookie's were gathered.
"Hey mister potential playmate of Haku's." said Naruto to Kabuto. Kabuto looked a little freaked out at what he had heard.
"Wha-what?"
Naruto shoved Haku into Kabuto. "This is Haku, he likes to dress up, make ramen, and make out with men." stated Naruto.
Haku began to hold himself and shake his head. "He's making stuff up now." he mumbled under his breath. Kabuto was spared having to go into further discussion with the two, as Hanabi shoved them both away.
"Kabuto-san, you said we should keep quiet not that long ago, may I ask why you felt the need to do so?" asked Hanabi.
Kabuto nodded and smiled. "Well you see, it is unwise to draw attention to yourself, you may just piss someone off and end up in a fight you don't need to be in." stated Kabuto. "Take the oto-nin for instance, they are few in number but they get pissed real easily so-"
The Iwa-nin tensed as they noted sound get ready to attack. Apparently they weren't the only ones as several others, made quick grabs for weapons. One of the Genin, a heavily bandaged one, attacked Kabuto. Before anyone could stop him a frying pan was thrown, and hit the nin square in the face.
Naruto's face was that of shock as he hid behind Haku. "MUMMY!!!" he shouted in hysterics. He pointed a finger at the now unconscious Dosu on the floor. "You all see it to right?!" He looked around at everyone for support. "I MEAN LIKE WHAT THE HELL! WHY IS THERE A MUMMY HERE HUH?"
Many people just sweat dropped, as the chef went on.
"Alright brats shut up!" shouted a voice from the front of the room getting everyone attention. "I'm Ibiki, you first examiner, and welcome to hell..."
Authors notes: Ending it here for a few reasons. I don't feel like writing anymore, and I think its time you people got an update.
I can't stress enough right now, how much I'm not writing. So I'm asking you all nicely not to ask repeatedly for updates. I'm doing the best, and all things considered you're lucky to be getting this much from me.
Hope it was a good chapter. Comedy was a little thick in this chapter, but be assured that any of the serious plot, takes the comedy away. So this fic is not supposed to seem like a CRACK fic.
I didn't really proof read this chapter. I just didn't have the will to look through it all. If you find something that is like glaringly bad, let me know.