[Written by the hand of Talita da Motta, Knight-Commander of Rivain, as she is held prisoner at the start of the mage/templar war]
[An account of her early years in the Templar Order]
Chapter 10: Shots in the Dark
Maker, I was a mess.
Lying in the hammock, I found myself awake and staring into the heavy beams of the deck ceiling.
He'd kissed me.
Just thinking of it made me breathless again, remembering how my skin had tingled with healing, mana sense, and his touch. Dozens of new and very confusing sensations had surged through my body at once. I was drowning, and he was my lifeline.
More than anything, I wanted him to kiss me again. I grappled with honesty: I wanted far more than that. Next time, my hands would find a way under his robes and I would see if I could not set him to trembling like his kiss had done to me. I'd seen a man's body before, but never, ever, had I wanted to touch one. Not like that. Not like now. At that thought, alone and in the dark as I was, I could feel my cheeks burning red hot with embarrassment. Perhaps, in this one case, honesty was quite overrated.
A vision of Angelo's frowning face brought my fantasies to an abrupt end. I blinked with surprise. What WOULD my mentor think?! Juca was a mage! It was my job to protect him, not …not find a way to corner him into another kiss. What was I thinking?!
Rumors drifted back to my remembrance; dark whispers of mages forced to please the whims of abusive Templars. Angelo had done his best to purge the order of those types. It was the highest of violations, detestable in the sight of the Maker, and deserving of, in some cases, death. Others had gone to prison for their crimes. Angelo had no patience for a Templar who could not take his (or her) orders seriously.
I could not fail him in this. I would die before disappointing Angelo in any way.
My path was clear.
Why then, did my heart hurt so? Ah Juca, my mage, I will protect you, even from myself, I vowed. I tried to close my mind to the desires he had awakened inside, what it had felt like as I had learned to properly kiss him...it was both giving, and demanding, I'd realized. Wanting, and offering. A precursor of what we wanted to do with our bodies... but I pushed the thoughts away. I closed my eyes against a single, hot tear that dripped anyway, leaking down my face and dripping onto the hammock. I could never again give myself to that pleasure. For both of our sakes.
I tried in vain to find sleep again. Something inside just felt too empty, even as I knew I should get all the rest I could. Everado would be at me again all too soon.
The clanging of the ship's bell startled me out of my reverie. The hold around me erupted into instant chaos, and all of us scrambled to the top deck. I'd grabbed my sword; my boots and shield were forgotten below.
In the light of early dawn I saw it: A dark and sleek ship flying through the waters toward us, red flag unfurled brazenly above. Raiders, coming for us! The captain roared orders and the crew hustled to obey.
Juca was at my shoulder. "What should we do?" he asked me. I forced myself to ignore how good it felt to have him standing so close.
On the deck of Raider, a figure in robes stood up on the prow. A tingling sense tickled at the back of my brain, but before I realized what that meant, a globe of fire leapt into the air and headed straight for us.
"Duck!" I yelled. It was as good a plan as any.
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