Darkness engulfed the blonde-haired girl; there was nowhere to go, nothing to see. Only darkness.
Yang blinked wildly and looked around, a familiar feeling of unease starting to set in.
She fell. She fell farther into the darkness. Her eyes shut tightly, her heart raced, fearing the end results.
Only to open her eyes once more, she now stood still. Frozen in place. Red eyes glared at her. "M-mom?" Yang seemed to speak, but her voice was not there.
"You're a brat, you know that? You steal my stuff, after everything I offered to you and you blew me off?" Yang's mother, Raven, approached her - heavy hands now wrapping around Yang's neck. "You should've never been born. I left you. I don't need you. You're weak." The grip around Yang's neck tightened; she tried to kick and flail, but her body wouldn't move. "Just die."
Within an instant Yang was let go, and fell again, but as she landed she was able to move. Her own hands now finding Raven's ghost touch still lingering. Yang panted heavily as she kneeled on the ground.
"Oh, not this shit again." The voice of Blake now filled Yang's ears, she looked up and was greeted by the other black-haired girl. "Why are you crying? I came back to you, didn't I?" The image of Blake seemed to taunt her. Yang wiped her face, finding tears that couldn't be stopped. "You should be happy. At least someone came back, right?" These weren't kind words that were followed by a kind tone. "Oh, so you're not going to be happy for me? Well fuck you, too, then."
Yang grasped at the image of Blake leaving her. Again. And Again. To chase down nothing. To get nothing.
The images of Ruby and Tai appeared before her. They, too, were too far to grasp. She ran towards them. As fast as her legs would carry her, yet they kept moving further and further away from her.
Until their images simultaneously turned towards the blonde. Disgust in their eyes. A shake of their heads in unison. The image of the two of them melted into a black goop before Yang as she had finally caught up. Her hands grasping at the liquid that burned her. "No, no!" Yang seemed to cry out.
Her hands seemed to move on their own, as she covered herself in the dark liquid - it now burning her eyes as she screamed loudly. Screamed into the nothingness.
She opened her eyes and now a new image appeared before her.
Weiss.
Weiss dawned a nasty smirk, her head tilted ever so curiously - but as she spoke, nothing but distorted screams followed by cries could be heard. Her image now distorted, catching up towards Yang. Blue, bleeding eyes now glaring at horrified lavender ones.
A white hand gently caressed Yang's face, Weiss's - no its - claws now digging into Yang's face as a distorted laugh could be heard in the distance. Yang blinked erratically, now struggling to move. She had been frozen once again, her whole body tingling with sweat and desperation to run.
Weiss's smirking image now leaned its head in towards Yang, closing in on her ear. Weiss now spoke, in a foreign language that only Yang could seem to hear. She made a sound that was indescribable, but it filled her heart with fear beyond what Raven, Blake, Ruby, or Tai could induce.
"You. Are. Nothing."
Yang awoke with a loud gasp, her hands momentarily clutching onto her neck. She continued to breathe heavily, until her gasps turned into light sobs. She buried her hands into her face, trying to keep down the sobs, not wanting to wake Ruby.
Calm yourself, Yang Xiao Long. You've had this dream before. But not with… not with her.
Every time she exhaled, a sob emitted from Yang. She needed to move. Leave. Something. She could feel her own anxiety worsening. She could feel the sweat dripping down her neck, sliding between her shoulder blades. The images of her nightmare had flashed through her mind every time she blinked.
The nightmarish words, stabbing at her chest as if she were paper to pen. These words felt written all over her body and heart.
Die.
I don't need you.
Why aren't you happy?
You are nothing.
Her body now turned towards the edge of the bed, but as she looked down, she saw Weiss. "Shit." Throughout her nightmarish daze, she had completely forgotten who was next to her. That she was here. As Yang momentarily stared at the sleeping beauty, her mind's eye replaced her with the demonic-looking Weiss that had plagued her nightmares. Another hefty sob emitted from Yang.
She took a careful step over Weiss, a shiver running down her spine as she did so. She made a beeline for her own bedroom door and headed towards the bathroom.
Little did she know she was being followed.
Yang turned on the lights and flinched, the lights were far too bright at a time like this. Glancing at herself in the mirror, she shook her head and splashed her face with water several times. Her heart was still racing, however.
She needed to keep moving.
Turning off the lights, and exiting the bathroom, she made her way to the living room.
Still not noticing the dark shadow that had followed her, a very sneaky Weiss stepped cautiously about ten paces behind Yang. Weiss seemed to hesitate to show herself, as she silently watched Yang from the shadows.
Yang paced back and forth in her living room. Her arms wrapped around herself, her hands squeezing her own arms. Her fingernails dug into her arms as she scratched herself, holding onto the dull pain, the only reminder that she was still here, that this was real life.
She breathed heavily, almost like she had just ran a marathon. "Breathe, Yang… breathe," she told herself in a low whisper that Weiss could definitely hear.
Weiss watched silently. She didn't know how to properly approach Yang, or if she should at all. This wasn't the Yang she knew. This was an entirely different Yang, but to Weiss, it didn't matter. Yang was Yang. She wanted to see her smile, she wanted to see her happy. Just as Yang had done for Weiss. Weiss was going to try to do for Yang.
Yang now plopped herself back on the couch, her arms flailing and legs kicking as if she were having a tantrum - or if she was trying to let all the negative energy out. Weiss had never seen such mental anguish come from another person.
She had never expected it to come from someone like Yang. There was a lot more to Yang that Weiss had expected, and now Weiss wanted to know it all.
Yang now sat forward, once more burying her face in her hands as several huffs and sobs emitted from her body. "Why, why…" She rocked herself back and forth, her knee bouncing up and down.
Weiss frowned, but shook away her own thoughts. For once, this wasn't about her being in trouble. Right now, it looked like someone needed Weiss, and that someone was Yang. Weiss took a deep, yet quiet breath. She then stepped out of the shadows, and slowly approached Yang.
Yang didn't seem to notice Weiss approaching, so Weiss scratched the couch as she stood at the other end of it to grab Yang's attention. Yang in turn jumped, and nearly fell back off the other end. "W-Weiss… Why are you awake? Did I wake you? Shit, I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Yang's voice was trembling.
Weiss quickly made her way to Yang's side, her body seemed to move on its own, and instead of completely pausing, she sat down next to Yang. Weiss simply wrapped her arms around the bigger girl, gently reaching for Yang's head, and letting it rest on her own.
Weiss wished she could've said something, but… she wasn't ready to speak, and sometimes, Weiss knew, that actions could speak louder than words. Weiss was hoping that this was the right action to take.
Now it was Yang's turn to be shocked, the action was a completely foreign one. Especially coming from the usually-timid girl. But it certainly wasn't unwelcomed as Yang could feel herself completely letting go.
Her sobs grew; Yang knew she needed this. To let this poison build up, to let it explode? Yang knew better than that. But Yang needed a little more, and was hoping that Weiss wouldn't mind.
Yang lifted her feet on the couch, one behind Weiss and one on top of her lap. Yang scooted in, now enveloping the smaller girl in her arms. Weiss felt warm and oddly accepting. For now, she'd let Yang use her in whatever comforting way necessary.
A few more sobs emitted from Yang. "Why does this happen to me?" she softly cried out.
Was this a question that Weiss should answer? Or was Weiss just there to listen?
"Every time she calls, I just… I just can't handle it. What if she comes here? What do I do? She wants her stuff back, and I… I just can't let go. I'm so stupid, so, so, stupid," Yang cried once more.
Weiss frowned, and pulled herself away from Yang. Weiss gently touched her face, wanting Yang to make eye contact with her. She shook her head, still holding onto Yang's cheeks.
Yang's teary, lavender eyes met with Weiss's own determined blues. With what little light the darkness offered, Weiss would have to improvise. Just as Yang had done for her.
Now that Weiss held Yang's attention, she grabbed Yang's arms, now maneuvering them in a way so she could sign. She first molded Yang's hand, making the 'you' sign.
"You?"
Weiss nodded.
Her hands then grabbed both of Yang's hands, balling them up into a fist, and then she moved Yang's arms towards her and gently shook them.
"Are strong. You are strong." Yang's sobs had seemed to completely stop, but her voice was still frail and timid. "But I'm not."
This would be harder than it looked. Weiss let out an audible sigh.
"Did you just… sigh?" Yang sounded completely bewildered.
Weiss slapped her own mouth, covering it completely. Yang, completely aware of this, started to chuckle. "That sounded… cute."
It was a good thing Weiss was completely hidden in the darkness, as her face began to turn a peculiar shade of red. Without hesitation, she began to maneuver Yang's own hands and arms again, doing several particular movements. Mostly for those of 'no' and 'mean'.
"No, no, no, no, mean, no, mean. Wait, mean as in I'm mean?" Yang repeated, and then asked curiously.
Weiss made Yang sign for 'yes' this time.
Yang huffed. "I guess I am mean. I invite you over and then completely ruin all of our fun. That… that person on the phone was my mom…"
Yang's mom? What had happened to her? What had happened that Yang would be in complete and utter distress? Who could do this to the sunny firecracker of a girl?
"I shouldn't have let it ruin our night, but she calls for the same thing every time, and I knew… I just went to bed knowing how my night would turn out, and I guess I just wanted to get it over with. It hurts so much, and I… I just wish I wasn't alive sometimes." Yang sighed, but as soon as she did, she was pulled into a rather aggressive hug by Weiss.
Weiss knew what it felt like to want to die. To not feel like she was worth anyone's time. It was a feeling that was all too familiar to the white-haired girl. A feeling that she did not want Yang to feel. A feeling that she wanted to take away and replace it with nothing but pure happiness for her.
An ache ran through Weiss's chest. She didn't know how much she could care for someone in such a short amount of time. But here she was, holding someone for the very first time without any hesitation or regrets.
And Yang was fairly in awe, as well. Who would've known that this selectively mute and timid girl would offer some of the best hugs that life had to offer? Although, she was sure that Weiss's attempts at advice would get better, for now… the feeling of Weiss wrapping her arms around her felt… soothing.
Yang, for once, wasn't alone in this feeling, and she somehow knew this.
Weiss pulled away from the hug, now pulling Yang off the couch and towards Yang's room. Yang followed along, allowing herself to be pulled by the much smaller girl. Weiss lightly closed the door behind her, and quickly turned on the lights.
Both of the girls winced as their eyes tried to adjust to the lighting. Weiss finally got a clear look at Yang. Yang's eyes were heavy and red, her cheeks slightly puffy, a small frown etched on her face.
"Weiss?" Yang rubbed her eyes, very aware of how she looked. Her arms wrapped around her once more, red nail marks ingrained in her skin.
Weiss shook her head and began to slowly sign, her mouth moving clearly. 'Don't say that. You deserve to be alive.' She paused, Winter's own words echoing in her mind. 'Not everyone sees you the way you see yourself. You're stronger than you know, Yang. Believe me when I say you've helped me live. Now I want you to live. To keep trying. Just know that you're not alone. You will never be alone.' Weiss confidently looked at Yang, her words may not have been audible, but the glimmer in Yang's eyes spoke volumes.
A small tear ran down Yang's face as she nodded, clearly understanding Weiss's words.
"Thank you." She gestured for Weiss to follow her, now taking her to her desk. She opened the first drawer where a rectangular lockbox sat. Yang took the key next to it and unlocked it, then opened it.
Inside was a necklace that resembled rosary-like beads that were red and black. "This is my mother's. I… stole this from her. And I think I know why…" Yang sighed, she had to admit this. Out loud. Something she had dwelled on so long for, had to be expelled somehow. "I guess I didn't want part of her to be completely gone. So I kept this. Something that was hers. But I know it's just hurting me more. She calls asking for it back, and now every time I hear her voice, it just causes nightmares." Yang looked over at Weiss who had been listening intently. Weiss now tapped Yang's shoulder, wanting her attention.
'Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.' Weiss signed slowly.
Yang closed the box and nodded. "Don't I know it. I know I need to give it back, but at the same time I don't want to lose her. I keep thinking she'll come back to us, but it's been years. Nothing has changed and I don't think she will, either." She closed the drawer and backed away, pulling Weiss with her. "But the only person I can change, is myself. I guess we're both growing, huh?" Yang sported a small smile, as she still held onto Weiss.
Yang hadn't expected to share so much with Weiss, she hadn't even shared this much with Blake, Neptune, or even her sister. But Yang, deep down, fully knew why she had done it. She trusted Weiss in more ways than one. They shared many things in common, and Yang, although as much as she wanted to avoid it with Weiss, had hoped they would share one more thing. Love.
But Yang wasn't willing to push anything more with Weiss, not until Weiss herself had known what she wanted. But for Yang, it was hard to deny her feelings for Weiss had more than grown past friendship.
Weiss simply smiled and nodded.
"Guess we should go to bed. Thank you for listening to everything, Weiss, you're a good listener… and I'm not saying that because you're mute or anything, it's just that you have really good advice, too, and…" Yang paused, sighing. "You get the idea, right?" Yang had somewhat teetered back into her usual habit of rambling.
Weiss soundlessly chuckled, and nodded once more. She was glad to see that Yang was able to return to such pleasantries with her. She had hoped this side of Yang would never change.
Yang, still holding onto Weiss, walked over to the lights to turn them off, then led her back to their beds. Yang sat on her own bed, now almost level with Weiss. "Oh…" Yang stared momentarily at Weiss, wondering why she was so close, then sudden realization hit her as she had held onto Weiss for far too long, who now stood in between the taller girl's legs. Yang let go off Weiss's hands. "Sorry about that. Again. Blame the exhaustion. Let's… try again tomorrow," Yang commented.
Once more, Weiss was glad that the darkness had taken over, her face was fully red. Her heart had been beating rapidly as if she expected something magical to happen. But, of course, nothing did. Where did these sudden feelings emerge from? She was happy to have them, but at the same time, she was once more terrified at these feelings that had only grown from the moment she had met Yang Xiao Long.
Yang laid down in her own bed.
As did Weiss, whose heart wouldn't stop beating. Her hands ached for one more touch from Yang. There was an indescribable feeling in her gut that told her there would be no release unless she got more, more, more. Weiss swallowed down the lump in her throat, and glanced over at Yang's now resting body.
Yang seemed to be looking down back at her. "Goodnight, Weiss." Her gentle voice filled the air with a sweet tenderness that made Weiss's heart somersault. Weiss's arm moved on its own, finding the edge of Yang's bed, and putting her hand on it.
She was greeted by Yang's own hand, who took it in her own, lightly caressing Weiss's knuckles with her thumb. "Get some rest, okay? Don't worry about me too much." Yang's tender tone once more reached Weiss's ears. "I promise I'll be fine. As long as you're here, I know I'm not alone."
Weiss squeezed Yang's hand as Yang did the same. Weiss now pulled back, pulling the hand that Yang held close to her chest. This feeling was sudden and incredibly strong, so strong that Weiss no longer wanted to sleep.
She pulled up her blanket to her face and closed her eyes, trying to make sense of whatever this was.
She had feelings, romantic feelings...
...for Yang Xiao Long.
And yet the only thing she could think to ask herself was, "Am I gay?"