A/N: I love mid-winter break, it gives me all sorts of time to write and edit. I have created a poll on my profile page for the quotes at the beginning of the chapters. Review or visit the poll to vote for if I will continue to put quotes at the beginning of chapters for stories after I finish Swan Goin' Wolf. Your opinion is much appreciated. :)
~Miss. E. Thompson
Chapter Ten: Anger
It's not the load that breaks you down,
it's the way you carry it.
~Lou Holtz
Bella's been gone for two days and dad is beyond worried about her. Dad has sent out messages to every department between here and Phoenix to be on the look out for Bella and has had the scanner on non-stop. We haven't gotten a call from hospitals or Renee so I'm taking that as a good thing. I am refusing to worry about Bella and the consequences that her decisions have. She cracked my dad, the strongest man I know, the one man that has never let me down and has looked out for me no matter what, even though he was doing it all on his own.
I was cooking dinner when there was a knock on the door. I wiped my hands on a towel before getting it. I was surprised to see Jared on the other side holding a pan of lasagna. He gave me a smile which a returned.
"What this?" I asked eyeing the pan in his hands.
"Mom's worried about the two of you and sent me over with food as an excuse to check on you guys." Jared said and I laughed, opening the door wider so he could come in.
"I already started dinner so you can just put it in the fridge." I said and he nodded before marching off to the kitchen.
"So how's your dad holding up?" Jared asked as he shut the fridge. I sighed and shrugged.
"Terrible. She told him the same thing Renee did when she left him." I said and crossed my arms across my chest and stared down at the floor. Jared's blazing arms wrapped around me in a hug and I sighed before leaning into it.
"I don't understand how she can do this. Especially to dad. He would give her anything she ever wanted and when he finally gets the one thing he wants for the first time, she rips it away from him just like her mother did." I said bitterly and Jared tightened his hug and kissed the top of my head in a brotherly way.
"I wish I could change this for you and Charlie." Jared said.
"I know you would because you and Paul are the best friends a girl could ask for." I said before pulling back a little to look up at him. He smiled before letting go of me so I could check on the cooking food.
"You want to stay for dinner or do you have to go?" I asked as I stirred the sauce for spaghetti and meatballs.
"I don't think mom would mind if I stayed here for a while. Can I use your phone?" He asked and I nodded. He grabbed up the portable and walked into the living room. For a little while it was just like old times when Paul or Jared would be over and try to help me cook dinner. More often than not they would just end up sitting at the table watching and talking while I cooked.
"Why don't you call Paul and see if he wants to come over? I know Adam flew out last night?" I asked and Jared nodded as he came back in and dialed Paul.
"He'll be over in twenty." Jared said as he hung up the phone. I nodded and Jared handed me the basil as I reached for it on the top shelf.
"You know just because you and Paul had a huge growth spurt doesn't mean I can't reach the top shelf." I said with a pout causing Jared to laugh. I was far from short, I was 5'7" and taller than most of the girls my age around here.
"Yeah but Paul and I might as well put our new height to good use." Jared said and I conceded.
"How tall are you two now?" I asked as I looked up at him.
"We're both 6'3"ish." Jared said with a shrug like it was nothing.
"You know Sam's like 6'5" right?" Jared asked and quirked an eyebrow.
"And?" I asked.
"Just saying you should get used to be the short one when all the people around you are taller." Jared said and I glared at him.
"Your mom's not." I said. Natalie was an inch or two shorter and I knew my argument meant nothing.
"Whoa… one person out of six." Jared said with a laugh and I slapped his arm, but it only seemed to hurt my hand and cause Jared to laugh harder.
It wasn't long later that Paul arrived. It was nice to be able to forget about the drama going on in my life while laughing with my best friends. It was fun to joke and mess around and act like a regular nineteen year old instead of what had become the norm, the girl that was scared of her own shadow because an ex-boyfriend and clung to her father and best friends while blocking out the rest of the world.
"Hey, Sunny? What do you want for your birthday?" Jared asked as I added the meatballs to the sauce.
"My birthday's not for like two months." I said looking over my shoulder at the guys.
"Besides you two probably already have an idea about what your going to get me." I said with a shrug.
"Yeah, but if you tell us then you'll get something that you actually want instead of what Paul and I think up, that we all know you never like, but kindly accept before hiding it in your closest to rot." Jared said with a mock serious face that had Paul and I cracking up.
"I never put anything you two give me in the closest. The chalk is with my art stuff, the polka-dot rain jacket and boots are by the door on the rack, the fake glasses and nose are on my nightstand, and the itch powder is in Paul's underwear drawer." I said calmly.
"What?" Paul yelled.
"I should have known it was you." Paul said pointing a finger at me while Jared and I laughed and clutched at our stomachs.
"You know you could always go to dad or Natalie and they would probably give you some good ideas?" I said once we had all calmed down and both boys seemed to think about it before nodding.
"Why didn't we think of that?" Paul mock whispered to Jared.
"Because we're guys and we're bad at taking hints." Jared 'whispered' back causing me to laugh.
Dad wasn't the least bit surprised when he came in from work to find the guys sitting at the table and the three of us laughing. I think the guys being over helped give him something else to think about other than the daughter that was running away from him back to her mother because of some boy that she went on one date with.
The next time the shit hit the fan was because of a simple phone call. I woke to the sound of the phone ringing downstairs. I climbed out of bed and started for the phone only for it to stop. I made a move to go back upstairs and getting a little more sleep, but was stopped by dad talking on the phone.
"What do you mean she's hurt?" Dad asked and I was immediately awake and finishing coming down the stairs.
"What hospital?" He asked and I could hear the shuffling of paper.
"I'll be there as soon as I can." Dad said and I heard him hang up the phone. He spotted me as he came around the corner heading for the stairs.
"What's wrong?" I asked and dad took a deep breath.
"Bella. Apparently she got hurt in Phoenix and is in a hospital. I'm going to pack and drive down there." He said and made another move for the stairs.
"No. I'm going to get you a plane ticket online." I said and walked up the stairs behind him.
"I couldn't sit in a seat and do nothing, Sunny." Dad said and I shook my head.
"It will take less time to fly down there and it will be safer for you. Driving will take a day and I know you wouldn't stop till you got there, so you will fly." I said and walked into my room to order the tickets while he packed. By the time he was finished throwing clothes into a duffel bag I had the tickets purchased with a credit card and had the ticket and boarding pass printed out waiting for him along with a box of snack bars so he hopefully didn't starve on his way to Phoenix. I had even made him reservation for a rental car while he was there. I kissed him on the check and told him to call me when he got there before he ran out the door to go take care of Bella.
I knew that I shouldn't be jealous that he was leaving me here to go take care of Bella, because it was exactly what he would be doing if Bella and I were reversed, but I was angry that after all that she had said to him, and with all the pain that she had caused him the past few days, he was running to take care of her. The two sides of my brain warred over the topic in my head giving me a slight headache. I sighed and decided that I would just get ready for the day because there was no way that after everything that just happened that I would have a prayer of a chance of going back to sleep.
Paul came in to the library during my shift and he seemed a little calmer after hearing that Bella had turned up. He, Jared and Sam had seemed on edge with Bella being gone and the fact that the Cullens seemed to disappear with her. None of the Cullens had gone to school and the doc had taken the last few days off. I found it suspicious, but there was no way to know for sure till after my shift when I could talk with dad. He had called me when the flight landed and told me he was headed to the hospital, but that was all we could get in before I had to turn my phone off for my shift.
My anxiousness to talk with dad seemed to make my shift drag. Instead of the short four hours that my shift was it seemed like it took all day. As soon as my shift was over I had my phone on and calling dad. I wanted to know that he was safe and that Bella was alive and going to get better. Everyone knew how bad it hurt dad when something happened to one of his girls.
"Sunny?" Dad said as soon as he picked up his phone.
"What's going on?" I asked.
"The nurses are changing bandages." Dad said and I could hear the pain in his voice.
"Are you alright?" I asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Turns out the Cullens came to talk Bella into coming back to Forks and when they convinced her to come to their hotel she tripped down two flights of stairs and went through a window. She's got a fractured skull, broken leg and wrist, a concussion and bruising covering almost every inch of her that I can see." Dad said and I could hear the slight tremor in his voice as he fought the tears.
"She'll get better, dad. She's a Swan, we don't go out easy. You know that." I said and earned a small chuckle from him.
"Yeah I know that. You holding down the fort?" Dad asked and I laughed.
"Yeah, though as soon as Natalie finds out I'm sure she'll be here, too." I said and dad chuckle, I could hear the shifting of the phone that suggested that he was nodding.
"Yeah and she'll call to yell at me for leaving you alone in that big scary house." Dad said and I smiled.
"So is she awake or is she still unconscious?" I asked.
"She's awake and she says that she wants to come back home with me." Dad said and everything seemed to freeze right then. After everything that just happened, her throwing her tantrum and running away to Phoenix and she was just going to come back because the boy and his family followed her to Phoenix and pleaded with her? Really?
Dad and I ended our conversation quickly after that. After I hung up I decided that I needed to go to the beach. I couldn't go home and be cooped up after being at the library all day and after learning that my sister was coming home like nothing had happened. I found myself back at the tree where Sam and I had talked the last time and it seemed that everything was repeating itself when he took the seat next to me.
"You really seem to have a thing for finding me at the beach." I laughed and he smirked.
"Well it's easy when both people have a tendency to go to the beach to relax." Sam said and I nodded, I guess that could be it.
"So something has you stressed?" I asked and Sam smirked again as he looked down at me.
"Yeah, but it's nothing for you to bother yourself with." Sam said.
"But I can take a guess as to what has you at the beach." Sam said.
"Oh really?" I asked quirking my eyebrow and smirking up at him.
"Your sister?" He guessed and I shrugged.
"Sort of." I said and he smiled at guessing right.
"You want to talk about it?" He asked.
"Yeah, but it's nothing for you to bother yourself with." I said trying to imitate his ridiculously deep voice. He smiled and raised a brow at me.
"Is that supposed to be what I sound like?" He asked and I nodded with a smirk.
"Yes, but I failed horribly." I said and laughed.
"Seriously, do you want to talk about it?" Sam asked and I could see the genuine interest in his eyes.
"I'll confide in you, if you confide in me?" I bargained and Sam seemed to think about it. I thought that he was going to stay quiet, but then he started to talk.
I'm in charge of this… project for the council. I'm afraid that I'm not cut out to be in charge of it though. I wasn't the person who was supposed to be in charge and I fear that I'll fail." He said and I contemplated that for a minute.
"Is everything ending in disaster?" I asked and he shook his head.
"Are the other people involved telling you that you're doing terrible?" I asked and he shook his head again.
"No, actually they've told me that I'm doing a good job." He said.
"Do you have a reason to doubt them?" I asked and again he shook his head.
"Then why question it. Just because you weren't first pick doesn't mean that you can't get the job done. When things get rough take a step back and look at the situation from a different angle. Perception is half the problem in any equation." I said and he seemed to think what I had said over before he smiled.
"I guess your right. It's just perception." He said and I smirked at him admitting that I was right.
"Now it's your turn." He said and I sighed, nodding as I thought about how to word things.
"My sister… she doesn't account for others in her thinking. She's pretty... self-centered. She's used to getting full attention anywhere she goes and being here she hasn't gotten that. When she left she was resolved on leaving and to make dad let her leave she said some pretty mean things. And now she's told dad that she's wants to come back to Forks with him and I don't know how to look at her and not see the bitch that hurt my father, the one man that has always been there for me, for her own personal gain. I don't know how not to be angry at her and keep my promise that I would try everything to build a positive relationship with her." I said and Sam nodded along as I spoke and thought about what I said.
"Do you know her true reason for leaving?" Sam asked.
"She said it was because she didn't want to make the same mistakes as her mother and be stuck in this stupid town." I said and he nodded.
"Maybe there's something more to it and when she gets back you can ask her about it and maybe understand the situation a little better. Then after you can make your judgment. After seeing it from a different angle." Sam teased at the end and I smiled.
"Yeah, I'll do that." Before I knew what I was doing I flung my arms around Sam's neck in a hug.
"Thanks." I said and kissed his check before heading back to my car. He seemed stunned by my actions and when I looked back I could see the biggest smile spread across Sam's face. I think I was making the right decision here. Sam could be the guy that makes me whole again and forget about the scars. I would give him the chance and go from there.