Heeeyoo~~Whoa it's been awhile eh? Like a REALLY, REALLY, REALLY *gasp* takes deep breath* REAAAALLLY long time. Teehee! OMG! Zhu Ran is such a cutie! Sorry Xun, you're no pyro at all. Zhu Ran. The guy is OBSESSED with fire! anyways, how has everyone been! Congrats to everyone who gave an answer laaaaaast time! You all won the contest!

Everyone: *chattering* huh?how'd they win? Huh? If this was the case, I'd have *guh* I WIN! no, I WIN *sounds of furniture smashing* gyaaah! *generics screaming and running* warrgh! *elephants smashing things*

Mei:….. I can't even tell who is arguing against who. *ahem* You guys all win because…..I said so~ author powers rule! and the prize is….my gratitude. *twitches*

Winning Method:! Using the awesome Ctrl-F gives the answer of 12 benevolences! Haha Zhuge Liang you lost!

Jiang Wei :Benevolence!err I meant Objection! The Chancellor never even made a bet! You cannot sa-*Mei presses mute*

Zhuge Liang:*fans self* k-keikaku. All according to keikaku.

Yueying: Well..let's start shall we? *Blushes* oh my. I finally get to start it off. *Smiles happily*

Jealous other officers: *angry muttering and smashing tables*

*Yueying's juggernauts *discreetly* blow them up*

~Wu~

Hmm? What's this? Zhou Yu looks very happy for some reason..Wait..did Xiaoqiao magically gain some years and ermm..womanly charm?..

Zhou Yu:*cough cough cough cough COUGH gack!*

...I take that as a no? Well, oh! Why's Zhuge Liang over here as well? Looks like he's a prisioner right? Unless having both arms tied up is the new way to welcome someone?

Zhuge Liang:...*whispers* all according to KEIKAKU! *trollface*

Mei: ah..i think i get it. *Ahem* with a victorious grin, Zhou Yu laughed at his hated enemy Zhuge Liang who had fallen into his trap; however! Don't get too overconfident Zhou Yu! You can't be too careful of him you know-eh?

Zhou Yu: Hahahahhahahahah! Zhuge Liang! I've beaten you! Hahahahaha!

Zhuge Liang:*smirks* Ah. Sima Yi. Is that you? Funny, you look a lot like Lianshi, or perhaps I really am looking at Lianshi..

Lianshi:..I'm sorry! *Bows and runs off*

Sun Quan: Lianshi! Come back!*runs aftter her*

Zhou Yu:...well,since not only am I an intelligent man but a kind one, i shall grant you freedom if you can complete 3 simple tasks for me before 3 days. *Laughs* deal?

Zhuge Liang:..*murmurs* you failed to mention how you're verrry kind to little girls.*poker face*

Zhou Yu:*veins pop* That's it! 1 Day!

Zhuge Liang: deal

Oh no! What's the pedo-lolicon got in store for Zhuge Liang?hmmm lets see shall we?

Zhou Yu:...*veins snap*...This narrator is definitely Public Enemy No.1...*ahem* Zhuge Liang! *Points to a huge stack of bowls, dishes, pots and pans* I need all these cleaned until I can see my face in them. Hehehe

As soon as he finished, Zhou Yu went off to drown himself in alcohol as his waifu came skipping towards him. Oh my, how's Zhuge Liang going to do this? And tsk tsk Zhou Yu that sneaky man...getting Liang to do the Wu dishes! And today is Yu's turn!

Zhuge Liang: Calling all Zhou Yu fangirls!

*there is a loud rumbling as hundreds of squealing fangirls appear from nowhere*

Zhou Yu Fangirl president: yes?oh!kyaaa~you want enough photos of our Zhou Yu-sama? kyaaaa~ for each plate/bowl/pot/pan? *giggles* Done!don't underestimate fangirls!

*goes yandere mode* dOn'T.

~30 minutes later~

Zhou Yu:...

Zhuge Liang: *fans self* I did exactly what you asked for. You can see your face in them correct? Then, tell me the next task.

Zhou Yu: ... damn smartass..*veins snap* steam pours out of ears*...FiNee...bring me 100000 new arrows by evening. *smirks* you'll never be able to do this hahaha.

Zhuge Liang: Actually I can.*fans self* all i need is a large poster, a pen and your permission for a...show if you will

Zhou Yu: ...? Sure. (Haha! NOBODY would be able to do this. Except me)

~20 Minutes later~

Generic Wu officer#34: hey did you hear? Lianshi's gonna hold a special 'show' later *Drools*

Mr. Octopus: MHEHEHEHEHE

Security: *Escorts Mr. Octopus away*

Generic Wu soldier #89: oh yes! Who would have expected that ZHOU YU would be the one organising this eh? *leers*

~Meanwhile~

Zhou Yu:hmm? Why are all the generics crowded around over there?*goes to investigate*...sees a large poster stuck on the wall

Tonight!and tonight only! A Special show starring Lianshi! Remember to thank Zhou Yu!

Entry fee: one brand new arrow per ! Limited places!

Zhuge Liang: *waves mockingly* I suppose you're here to watch as well? Oh , I've already fulfilled more than the quota requested so I gave Zhu Ran and Lianshi the excess arrows.

Zhou Yu:...*stunned*

Eh? Do...you guys hear something in the distance? *Exploding noises* what was that?*fireworks* oh! Happy new year! Wait...its late now!

Angry Wu soldiers: when are we going to see Lianshi? Dammit Zhou Yu!

Lianshi:...*smiles and prepares weapons* ...Lord Zhou Yu...

Sun Quan:...Zhou Yu! I respected you, looked up to you..but...*wipes away tears before pulling out weapons* this is unforgivable!

Zhu Ran+Lu Xun: FIRE!WAHAHAHA! *wave to a struggling Zhou Yu* thanks for the fire arrows my lord!

Zhu Ran: Xun! *grabs the flame thrower* I'M the one lighting the fire!*runs off with a crazed laugh* FIREEEEEE!

Sun Jian: ZHOU YU!*roars* we just finished rebuilding the throne room! Gah! My blood pressure... Cheng Pu! My Medicine!

Han Dang:…..I'm right next to you…

Zhou Yu Fangirl army: Zhou Yu-saaamaaa!

Zhou Yu:...no matter what I do...I'm a dead man now..*veins snap* steam pours out of ears* eyes go on fire* ZHUGE LIANG YOU BASTARD!

~Back in Shu~

Liu Bei:so you're saying now would be a good time to attack Wu?

Zhuge Liang: *fans self* most definitely. Their strategist had been...incapacity...so their morale is down.

Liu Bei: Ah. I see.

Jiang Wei: benevolence! That's the chancellor for you!

Zhuge Liang:*fans self* all according to keikaku.

Ehehe randomness aside…I seriously think my sense of humour and creativity have gone on holiday (using a one-way ticket)* sobs tearfully*. I'm sorry if this chapter was totally LAME (because it kinda is) *you people asking me to update *nudges* happy?*

Anyways, I've been doing all random things and neglected my fanfiction, teehee like…I'm writing my own visual novel. *braces for mocking laughter* but I have realized I have an artistic disability so it's been difficult. Any interested artists can PM me if they wanna lend their talents *smiles and waves*

On another note! check out whatamidoing765's dynasty warriors stuff. She is DAMN HILARIOUS! like waay better than me. Honestly. *cries in shame because someone younger than her is so much more hilarious and cool*