Outside Heaven

Chapter 10

Puppy Love

Warning: This chapter contains sexual imagery in minor detail, I hope I don't cross any lines… this is the only chapter that I plan on going into such "detail."

She stared into his dazzling green eyes waiting for an answer. His expression showed uncertainty as he responded, "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

Ruthie shrugged and desperately attempted to convince him that it was a good idea. "I don't see how it's a bad idea, everyone's down here—nobody will miss us." She leaned closer to him, gazing into his darling fresh eyes.

He shrugged a little nervously, "Okay…" he paused and then added, "We're only going to talk—right?"

Talk, sure. "Yeah… talk, sure, I mean what else is there to do?" Ruthie shrugged agreeing with him as she tried to lure him upstairs. She had something else on her mind. Ruthie wanted to be with him. The only way to get him with her was for them to talk.

Martin still seemed unsure, but he agreed, "Alright. We can go talk." Ruthie smiled fiendishly to herself. Here's my chance. They pounced up the stairs only to run into Mary. Crap, what is she doing up here? Mary had said she was going to go downstairs with Charlie to attempt and make things "right" between her and Lucy so Charlie and Savannah could play. She wasn't supposed to be up here.

"Ruthie?" Mary seemed just as surprised to see her, "What are you and—Morgan, right—doing up here?"

"It's Martin," Martin corrected her quickly.

"I—ugh—was just showing Martin where the bathroom was," Ruthie told her sister, she's not that stupid, Ruthie realized. It was too late for her to change her excuse.

"Um, didn't Morgan—Martin I mean—live here? I think he knows where the bathroom is," Mary pointed out suspiciously.

"Yeah, well he didn't feel comfortable coming up here alone since he doesn't live here," Ruthie spat and questioned, "What are you doing up here? You're supposed to be making things right with Lucy."

Mary rolled her eyes, "Well, Savannah and Charlie are playing—Lucy's, well, Lucy. She thinks she's better than the rest of us. I felt out of place down there, so I came up to check on the babies." She does come off as that, Ruthie agreed to herself. She looked up at Martin, he seemed withdrawn and confused. "Anyway," Mary continued, "So Ruthie…I know I haven't exactly been there for you over the last few years, so I was thinking…maybe we should get reconnected, you know—bond a little." Now she wants to be my friend—how convenient. She added quickly, "I'm really, really sorry about calling you a selfish little brat. You're right. I have no right to judge you."

"Um, sure, how long are you and Carlos going to be here?" Ruthie asked her sister impatiently avoiding her apology. She wanted this conversation to end so she and Martin could move on upstairs unnoticed.

Mary let out a sigh, "Well, today technically was our last day of school…since Dad died they gave me to the end of the year off. Therefore, I don't have to go back anytime soon," she paused, "but Carlos has to be back to work by Monday."

"I see, so you guys are leaving Sunday evening?" Ruthie quickly jumped to a conclusion.

"Well, I was thinking…I haven't discussed this with Carlos yet, but maybe the kids and I could stay—I really do think you and I should spend some catching up," she rolled her eyes and let out a huff, "I don't know how much more of Lucy I can handle, but I guess I'll survive." Ruthie raised her eyebrows, who is this and what has she done with my sister Mary? Mary turned her face slightly and curiously asked, "Did Matt and Sarah how long they're planning on staying?"

"No," Ruthie lied. She couldn't bring herself to betray Sarah even if she did hate her now. She added a bit rushed, "Don't you have somewhere to be?"

Mary raised her eyebrow, "No. Why? You seem in a hurry?"

"Uh, no, Martin and I were just going upstairs," Ruthie grabbed Martin's arm and started running up the stairs to her attic room, shit… Ruthie had forgotten she had told Mary they were going to the bathroom.

"Wait a minute!" Mary called, but Ruthie kept dragging Martin. "I thought you said you two were going to the bathroom?" Ruthie ignored her and Mary called, "Fine. Whatever, it's none of my business—I was seventeen not too long ago you know."

"And you didn't like when people pried!" Ruthie yelled at her sister.

"You're right, I'll just go talk to Carlos…I won't say anything about whatever you're up to!" Mary yelled back. She better not, Ruthie sighed as she pushed the attic door shut and pushed Martin onto her bed. His confused callow eyes stared back at her.

"What was that?" he asked still looking a bit stunned.

"Nothing, nothing important," she whispered as she sat down next to him.

"Um, if that was nothing important…then why…why do I get the feeling you want to do more than just talk?" Martin stuttered.

"Maybe I do," Ruthie whispered as she edged closer to Martin. She brushed her body up against him and pushed him down so he was lying straight down on his back. Her lips touched his for the first time and a warm sensation filled her body. Suddenly she felt so sure of herself, as if she was given a sense of esteem she had never had.

Martin pushed her away, "What are you doing? We can't do this." He looked nervous. She touched his face and could feel his face starting to burn up like fire.

"Why not, Martin?" she asked calmly, "Why can't we do this?" She lied down next to him on her side ruffling his dark sweaty hair.

"B-because we can't, your father and boyfriend just died…" he spoke hesitantly, "I don't understand why you a-all of a sudden want t-to d-do this." Sweat was dripping from his face as his light green eyes gazed into hers.

"Why does it matter?" Ruthie leaned closer; she was so close to him that if she were to go any closer she would be lying directly on top of him.

"Practically every person you know in this world is downstairs!" Martin exclaimed, "A baby is being born right now."

"So?" Ruthie couldn't care less, "All I want is you." She pulled herself on top of him pushing him down as she seduced him with her hands traveling down his waist.

"A-and, we could take this slower…a lot slower," Martin spoke.

"Or we could take it a lot faster," Ruthie instigated as she placed her hands underneath his tuxedo jacket and unbuttoned the first one.

"O-or we c-could, I guess," Martin was unsure, "I-I really don't know about this."

"There is nothing to know about it," Ruthie whispered, "Do you love me?" He didn't respond, he seemed to be staring off into the distance at her door, as if he was waiting—or hoping—for someone to walk in. She asked again, "Do you love me?"

"What if your sister—Mary, isn't it—rats us out?" Martin asked beginning to shake a little.

"She won't," Ruthie promised smiling weakly and asked again leaning closer to his face, "Do you love me?"

"I-I don't know, I care about you…you were like a sister to me, now…"

"…And now?" Ruthie questioned suspiciously.

"I'm attracted to you," Martin said slowly, "but I have a son. I love him."

"You don't love his mother," Ruthie pointed, "or do you?"

"No!" Martin jolted, "I don't."

"So… what's wrong with us being together?" Ruthie indicated as she had unbuttoned the last button on his tuxedo. She started to pull it off of him and his bare chest showed.

"By together do you mean…?" Martin uneasily questioned.

"I mean what I mean," Ruthie smiled viciously and placed her lips on his again. "Come on, nobody will know."

"Why now?" Martin asked her again.

"Why not now?" Ruthie pushed back. "Why any other time?"

"It's just… I don't feel comfortable doing this with your entire family in the house…" Martin told her, "and I told myself after Sandy I would wait until I was married."

Ruthie was getting aggravated and annoyed with Martin's resistance of her. She spat at him, "How is Sandy different than me? Why her?"

"It's not like I chose to be with her!" he cried, "it just happened! Being with you would be a choice, a choice that we both would be making."

"What the hell!" Ruthie spat, "You chose to go home with her. You chose to sleep with her. There was nothing in that situation you didn't choose." Before he could answer her she threw herself at him. She began to undress his trousers. His hands started to tremble uneasily down her hips as they switched positions.

She laid on her back as they became connected as one. A feeling of invincibility lingered throughout her body, nobody can hurt me now. She opened her eyes to see Martin staring back at her, his tongue still connected to hers. Her thoughts raced, so fast she could not keep track of them. As she started to move her hand closer to his face, a loud ring coming from the telephone just a few inches away disrupted them.

Martin flinched off of her and out of her bed. "Crap," she heard him murmur.

"What?" she asked innocently.

"We didn't use a condom," he whispered, "I can't believe I just made that mistake twice."

"Oops," Ruthie whispered.

"What the hell, Ruthie? Do you want to get pregnant or something?" Martin demanded. Then his facial expression changed, as though he had reached an epiphany. He raised his finger, "You didn't just coerce me to sleep with you because you're pregnant with T-Bone's baby so you can frame me as the father?"

Her jaw dropped open. "N-no, why would I do that?" she asked twirling her hair, "That's crazy." Crap, maybe he isn't as dim-witted as I thought he was, Ruthie was worried.

"Okay. Good. Because…because…well…" he stammered as he pulled on his pants.

"Because…well, what?" Ruthie asked nervously, still twirling her curl.

"Because, well, I don't need another child!" he spat, "I'm nineteen years old."

Ruthie mouthed, "Okay." The phone, she thought, maybe Patty Mary had her baby! She reached for the phone to listen in on the line, listening in on phone conversations was one way she had gotten a lot of her information. She made sure to place a piece of paper over the receiver so the person on the other handset wouldn't hear her on the line.

"Well, why don't you put the phone on speaker and I'll let the new dad tell everyone," she heard Matt's voice come through the speaker. A beep sounded on the phone as whoever had answered the phone changed the phone settings to speaker phone.

"Hi everyone?" Robbie's soft voice came through her phone.

"Hi Robbie!" a crowd from downstairs greeted him.

"Well?" she heard her sister Lucy's voice.

"We had a boy! We thought it was a girl, but God gave us a son!" Robbie announced with excitement in his voice.

"Awwww!" lots of coos from downstairs could be heard from the speaker. Ruthie looked up and mouthed to Martin, "Boy." He shrugged back at her uncaringly.

"I'm leaving," he whispered, he was now fully dressed, though his hair was still a little shabby and his face was still bright red. She hoped he would take a few moments to go into the bathroom and tidy up a little before running downstairs to the crowd of people.

As he departed from the room, Ruthie heard Robbie announce the name, "We named him Camden Eric Palmer." Camden Eric Palmer? Ruthie hung the phone nearly fainting. What a name! There a baby boy out there with her last name. Leave it to Robbie to name his son after our family, he loves us so much. He loved them so much that he had the nerve to not even call once over the last four years. He had spread so much love by not sending a letter or giving some "note" to tell them he was alright. Of course, he had managed to get into their family—even if it was only by marriage. He had to have purposely run into Patty Mary. Ruthie didn't know how, but there had to be some scam somewhere along the lines that he had schemed up to "fall in love" with Patty Mary. Ruthie felt disgusted.

This is Robbie I'm thinking about, Ruthie reminded herself. Robbie. The Robbie that had been her "first" love. She remembered the first time she saw his dark coal innocent looking eyes. He had tricked her parents into letting him take Mary to a hotel. Yet, they graciously forgave him and took him in as a son. For two years he had become her fifth brother. The same role Martin had played for almost two years as well, Ruthie slammed her head into her pillow.

She couldn't believe she had just done to Martin what she had, but she had. There was no taking the past back. She couldn't take back what she had done with T-Bone or Martin. The past was the past and there was no reliving it. She couldn't take back that she had become a selfish rebel, that she had been led to make some stupid decisions. There was no getting her father back, he was gone. Forever. Most frightening of all, she couldn't take back the fact a living creature—a baby—was growing inside of her. Never again could she be the innocent little Ruthie Camden that had felt puppy love for Robbie Palmer.