Disclaimer: I do not own AHS.
A/N: Okay I have not updated this fic in months but I promise you that I have not abandoned it. Also, thank you guys for your encouraging words. Really means a lot.
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CH 10- Mother's Memories
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It was like a sickness, plaguing him over and over without any mercy. Oliver knew it was an issue, he knew he was criminally insane and his actions had altered the lives of his wife and his son. But he had been so selfish to change their lives just to please him, just to fill the void engulfing him from within.
Oliver knew he had done his sweet Lana wrong, alas; there she was, eager to please all his whims without complaint and without question. She was so submissive to him, pleasing him in every which way he demanded without ever batting an eye. She let him cling to her without caring for her personal space. She let him act upon her body his twisted desires and fantasies because she believed it was her duty. Oliver had made her believe that it was what one did when they were in love.
"Do you love me?" he asked her in the darkness of their room. The clock struck a few minutes after three in the morning.
He was wrapped in her arms, cheek against her chest, running his finger over her breast, feeling her nipple harden and her skin prickle; she was so warm and so lovely.
"Yes." She answered.
She always said, "Yes."
And Oliver grew fearful of the day in where she would say, "No."
If such a day were ever to come, well, Oliver wouldn't know what he would do. He had become too dependent on Lana to let her go. She was like a drug and he was the battered addict, always searching for one more hit.
"Do you love me?" She asked in return.
Oliver stopped caressing her breast, taken back by her sudden question. She had never asked him that before. Oliver prompted himself up on an elbow, meeting her gaze in the soft darkness. He could barely make out her face. "Yes." He told her.
Of course he loved her. In his own twisted way, of course. However, one would question the fact that Oliver Thredson was capable of loving anyone. Even his children. He was a maniac. One who could function in society but he was a maniac no less.
Oliver buried himself back in her arms, comforted by the warmth of her skin, "I love my mommy."
Lana let Oliver's words bury themselves in her head, wedged all the way into the deepest depths of her mind. She loved Oliver and he loved her back. That's the way things were.
"I'd be lost with you, Lana." Oliver continued to run his fingers over her breast, feeling a thrill of excitement begin to over take him.
He inhaled in her scent. She smelled so lovely but it wasn't the scent of her shampoo or that of her expensive perfumes that her bought her. It was the scent of her skin and of her body. She smelled like heaven on earth and he was the only man allowed to walk upon her kingdom.
Lana ran her fingers through Oliver's dark, luscious hair. "I had the strangest dream the other night."
"What was it?"
"I was in a car with Johnny." She said, continuing to run her fingers through his hair, "He was but a baby and I kept driving and driving for days."
Oliver continued to listen.
"The road never stopped. It just kept going…and then there was this giant place with tall pines." She paused for a moment.
"What happened there?" He asked, far too interested for her to stop.
"It snowed." She said, continuing again with her fingers, "And I remember Johnny running through these long halls of gold and red and he was laughing and laughing."
"What a strange dream." Oliver said, wrapping his arm around her waist and bringing himself closer to her.
"Are dreams always so strange?"
"Sometimes."
"It felt so real." She confided in him, "As if I had really been there before."
This truly caught Oliver's interest and he became concerned. "What else do you remember?"
Lana thought back to her dream, trying to remember any more details. "Dogs." She finally said.
Oliver chuckled, "Dogs?"
"Mhm." Lana leaned her head back against the headboard. "I never dream of Olive." She said suddenly in a soft voice, it was almost a whisper.
Oliver frowned at this.
"She already feels like a dream."
Oliver lifted his head; Lana's words alarmed him. "What do you mean, Lana?"
Lana didn't meet his eyes and Oliver grew nervous at her silence. After a moment, she met his gaze and smiled, "It's nothing, my baby." She caressed his cheek, "Get your rest. You have work in the morning."
Oliver lay back down in her arms, wide-awake, letting the worry consume him. Was Olive even real in Lana's world? Surely she had to be. Surely she was.
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Billie Holiday sang through the Eureka house like a whimsical dream. It was a calm day out despite the dark, ominous clouds that hung in the dim gray sky. Oliver did say the weather was always downcast in Eureka but Lana didn't mind the weather. She didn't think much of it. Come to think of it, Lana didn't think much of life beyond her garden.
Everything in her world revolved around her family and her home. It was wake up, make breakfast, tend to the children, clean the house, serve lunch, tend to Oliver's needs, make dinner, sleep and repeat. It wasn't much of an exciting life but Lana was told it was what a mother and wife did and it was something to be proud of.
On that day, Lana found herself in the kitchen, in front of the sink; washing the dishes from the morning meal she had made her family. Oliver was at work and Johnny was outside playing in the yard. It was just she and Olive in the house. Lana's mind was wandering far from her home, unaware of her surroundings. And for a moment she had forgotten all about the little baby in the living room.
Olive crawled her way to the coffee table and pulled herself up on her chubby little legs. She looked over to the kitchen where her mother stood. Olive raised an arm up in Lana's direction, wanting to go to her but too afraid to take those first steps. She dawdled and whined, edging herself to let go of the coffee table. Lana had left her lying on her blanket for just a moment and then became too distracted in her jumbled thoughts to remember the child.
Olive babbled something that sounded a lot like "Muh-muh" and let go of the table. She took three steps in Lana's direction before she tumbled over to the side and fell. She gave out a little gasp and began to cry.
The crying took Lana a moment to register before she turned around. When she saw Olive on the floor a few yards away, she shut the water off, dried her hands and went to her.
"Oh, little girl, what in the world are you doing?" She lifted the baby off the floor.
Olive whined, comforted by Lana's mere presence. She sniffled and babbled. Lana studied the child's face. She was such a pretty little thing with her big watery eyes and sad, little pink nose. She looked a lot like Oliver. One of their neighbors had pointed it out and then said, "Girls usually resemble their fathers". Lana thought this to be true but Olive looked like her too. This baffled Lana on levels she couldn't quite understand.
Lana began to study the child's face like she often did when she tried to remind herself that the girl was hers and not just a figment of her imagination. "You're a very pretty thing…aren't you?"
Olive became distracted by Lana's pearl necklace, grasping it with a chubby, dimpled hand. Lana became distracted by the child's angelic face. She couldn't understand why Oliver loved the little thing so much; it was beyond her. But Lana did try to comprehend the extent of a father's love. She felt a strange connection to the child because she had been born of her but Lana still struggled to form some kind of bond amongst the haze. She often felt protective of the girl but there were moments in where she felt distant. As if the child was a foreign little thing that she had no connection to. Lana had to remind herself over and over that the child was hers and she was meant to love her.
Lana believed she loved her children the same but they both came to her in different times in her life. Johnny arrived in her true reality when she was her real self so she learned to love him with a lucid mind and soul. Olive, however, felt like a dream that arrived to Lana during a spellbinding haze she still couldn't wake from.
"It be a shame if you got hurt…" Lana trailed off and once again became distracted.
"Muh-muh." Olive babbled and reached for Lana's nose.
Lana snapped out of it and took Olive to her playpen and set her down. "Now sit here and wait for Mommy to finish, okay?"
Meanwhile outside, Johnny ventured through the woods behind their home, swinging a stick around. Scout trotted ahead in front of him following a familiar scent. Johnny bent over and picked up a rock. He inspected it and threw it as far as he could between the trees. The rock hit two barks and dove into a sea of leaves. Scout paused long enough to make out the sound of the rock in the distance and then continued to follow the scent.
Johnny followed after Scout, letting the Beagle lead him down his chosen trail. Oliver had told Johnny multiple times not too wander too far into the woods but Johnny didn't listen and continued to wander deeper and deeper into the foliage. Johnny found that he enjoyed the peaceful silence of the woods. But the closer he listened, the more he realized the woods weren't so silent after all. He could hear a babbling brook in the distance and the falling and crunching of leaves. He could hear the birds chirping and moving around in the trees.
Suddenly, Scout barked and ran off. "Scout!" Johnny raced after him, "Scout, come back!"
He ran through the trees, following after his beloved dog. The leaves and tiny branches crunched under his feet. Scout's loud barking echoed through the woods until they silenced when he reached a dying bush and sniffed all around it. Johnny came out into the tiny clearing and placed his hands on his knees, catching his breath from the chase.
"Scout, what are you—" He stopped when he noticed what Scout had become so obsessed with. "Wait." He grabbed Scout by the collar and pulled him back. Scout whined and howled. "Shh, Scout! Quiet."
Johnny nervously grabbed one of the branches and lifted it revealing the rotting corpse of a raccoon. He scrunched his nose and gagged, "Gross!" he backed away.
Scout barked at it and tried to get closer but Johnny stopped him. "No, Scout. Leave it."
Scout whined and backed away. Johnny stared at the dead animal and a strange feeling fell to the pit of his stomach: a feeling of curiosity. His fingers twitched and his heart began to beat quickly.
Johnny grabbed a stick and knelt down, poking at the dead raccoon. Maggots swam in between its fur and blood dripped from its mouth. It gave off a horrid stench, one that left Scout whining and pawing at Johnny's back. Johnny was utterly entranced by the dead animal and curiously wondered what it would look like without its fur and skin.
"Johnny!"
Johnny jumped to his feet when he heard his name in the distance. He dropped the stick and ran off, Scout followed after him.
Johnny spotted his mother on the back porch with the baby in arms. He ran up to her.
"Where were you?" Lana asked, hoisting the baby higher in his arms.
"I was exploring."
"Well don't wander off too far. Now go inside and wash your hands."
"Yes, Mom."
The dead animal stayed on Johnny's mind for the remainder of the day. In the evening he went out to play kickball with his friends and by the time Oliver came home, Johnny went inside for dinner. Oliver talked about his day without mentioning any personal information regarding his patients. He then asked Johnny what he had done on his Saturday but Johnny merely shrugged and said, "Not much."
Oliver really tried to get closer to his son but the more time passed, the more the boy distanced himself. Oliver began to see things in Johnny that he had seen in himself at his son's age. Worry grew inside of him.
That night, Johnny hid himself in his room to read comics. He was half way through one when the dead raccoon crossed his mind. He glanced out his window that faced the backyard and began to feel that urge of curiosity once more. Johnny set his comics aside and made his way into his walk in closet where he rummaged through his things until he found a small wooden box. He opened it and inside were multiple mementos of his life before Oliver. He sat with his legs crossed and looked through them. There were a few baseball cards, a bouncy ball, a toy soldier, a little racing car, a box of matches, and a few photographs of Lana and himself when he was younger. The photo that caught his interest the most was of him and Lana when he was about two years old at a pumpkin patch.
Johnny knew Oliver wasn't with them and he wondered who had taken the photograph and where they were now. The other three photographs held no other evidence of anyone besides Lana and Johnny. There was one last photo at the bottom of the box. It was a polaroid of little Olive when she was but a newborn. Johnny smiled at the photograph. "I wish you knew Boston." He said to the photo as if it were the real Olive, "You'd be much happier there…I was…" Johnny placed the photo back in the box and hid the box itself amongst his belongings. After digging around some more, Johnny came upon his flashlight. He put on a sweater and quietly snuck downstairs.
He tip-toed past his parents room and listened for a moment. He could hear them talking about Sunday plans. Without them noticing, Johnny snuck downstairs and to the back patio door. Scout, who was in the living room chewing one of Olive's baby toys, spotted his boy and hurried over to him.
"Shh," Johnny told him, "Stay."
Scout sat down and gave a little whine. He tilted his head to the side but did as he was told. Johnny closed the door behind him and turned the flashlight; the light hit the forest beyond his yard. He didn't know what was out there at night but he was sure he had seen far worse.
