I'm not sure I'm totally happy with this chapter, but I keep reworking it and these two emotional rejects just keep on being difficult about it. I figured I couldn't keep you waiting any longer so I'm sorry it's a bit sucky.

~Cas?~ Castiel is on a bench outside the Winchester's motel when he hears Dean's call. He has been debating attempting to talk to Sam, to try and find out if he will ever stand a chance at becoming a part of the brother's lives again. ~Get down here, we need to talk.~

For a moment the angel considers not going, for a moment he thinks of all the times in the past that Dean has called on him to solve some minor problem or throw harsh words at him in times of anger and frustration. He wonders if this is going to be one of those times when Dean is so angry that all he can do is fling spiteful comments and dagger-like words in the angel's face. As always, however, Castiel knows that he would never not go to the hunter should Dean need him. Dean's call is all the guide that the angel needs now, even weakened as he is since all of the souls were ripped from him, and it take little thought to be at the isolated place that Dean has chosen, somewhere that no one will hear their words.

It occurs to him that this may be the last time he speaks to Dean, that this might be the occasion where the hunter tells him to stay away for good. It is remarkable how much that thought hurts and he knows that the moment of candid fear must show on his face from the way that Dean's eyes narrow slightly.

"Cas," Dean sounds relieved when he speaks, as though he did not expect Castiel to respond to his call.

"You wanted to speak to me?" Castiel asks, mild and yet with the faintest undertone of a curiosity he is trying so hard to bury.

"Yeah, I…" Dean hesitates, scrubs his hand across his hair and turns his gaze away. Not for the first time Castiel is reminded of why he hates not being able to see Dean's eyes, why he hates not being able to read the play of emotions there even when every other part of the hunter is under tight control. Dean may be good at keeping the emotions from showing there too clearly, but humans are right when they say that the eyes are the window to the soul. It is the part of the hunters where Castiel can see the brilliance of his soul gleam the most, a beautiful sight that the angel does not believe he will ever tire of.

"Dean?" Castiel queries, surprised at the way that the man trails off part way through his sentence.

"Why did you go to Crowley?" Dean says suddenly, desperation shinning in his eyes.

"We've been through this, Dean," the angel responds, tilting his head in confusion as he tries to understand why the hunter is asking a question that he already has the answer to.

"I want the truth, not something you came up with that you thought I wanted to hear," there is a hardness to the man's voice that is not to be seen in his face or eyes. Castiel is glad, rather abruptly, that as an angel he can still see every aspect of Dean's features even in the relative dark of stars and moonlight.

"I told you the truth," the reply is mumbled and the angel knows that more of his feelings are on display here than should be. He is tired, however, tired of hurting and tired of defending actions that he is beginning to question more and more no matter the final result. "You seemed so content, you had everything you wanted, and none of that was with me. You had love, a family, safety and you had never taken the opportunity to find any of that with me. You didn't even try to contact me and I thought… I thought you no longer wanted anything to do with me. Crowley came to me, Dean, he made me the offer and it seemed like the best course. I didn't know what to do without you and his offer seemed like the best solution."

"You went to Crowley because you were jealous?" Dean's tone is incredulous.

"No, I went with him because I did not believe I had another option. I'd managed to bring Sam back but he was wrong, the other angels didn't understand what I was trying to teach them and Raphael wanted to restart the apocalypse with my help and allegiance. You were finally happy, Dean, and with everything that I feel for you I couldn't bring myself to take that happiness away."

"You didn't even try, Cas," the disappointment in Dean's voice is palpable, a harsh reminder that Castiel wrote the hunter off as useless before he had even asked.

"I don't want to have this argument again, Dean," the angel sighs finally. "What's done is done and I cannot undo it, even should I want to."

"You're right," the hunter agrees, deflating. "I want to trust you, Cas, I really do. I miss having you around, you know?" Castiel tilts his head a little, allowing his confusion at this change in direction to show as Dean scrubs his hand over his face and curses softly. "If I'd asked, would you have stayed?"

"When?" The angel queries, because he has left so many times in the past that he is not entirely certain which occasion Dean is referring to. He could take a guess, however.

"Before I went to Lisa, would you have stayed with me if I'd have asked?" Dean clarifies and all Castiel can do is nod, feeling a borrowed heart that does not need to beat start to race in his chest. It seems to be enough for Dean, though, that the angel is unable to use words to respond. "I should have trusted you, should have tried to anyway, and I should have told you the truth."

"What truth?" There is greater alarm in Castiel's mind now than there has been since he got himself caught up in this mess. There is the fear that Dean has been lying to him even when demanding a truth that the angel has never been really able to give.

"I never thought of you like a brother," Dean finally allows his eyes to lock with Castiel's and finally the angel is able to see behind the walls that the hunter always tries to keep in place. "After everything with the curse and we never really talked about it and I thought you just wanted to ignore the fact that it had ever happened. I just keep thinking about it and wondering." By this point Dean seems to realise that he is rambling slightly. Castiel is well aware that talking about feelings is not the sort of thing that the hunter does the best, but then nor is it the angel's area of expertise either.

"What, exactly, are you trying to tell me?" Castiel whispers.

"I'm trying to say that I want to try this," Dean makes an obscure gesture between them with his left hand while his right rubs nervously across the back of his neck. "Us. With the curse and the true love's first kiss thing. I want to trust you, Cas, I care about you, and I want you around."

The last sentence comes out in a rush of words with Dean looking everywhere but at Castiel. The angel can understand Dean's nervousness, knows that there is a lot between them that is unsaid and that it cannot possibly be as simple as Dean is making out. They will have to consider Sam and Bobby in all of this and there is still the fact that there is a lot to discuss between them.

"Dean," Castiel wants this, he wants the prospect of what the hunter is offering him. He moves forward, seeming to reach for Dean without thinking. The hunter leans into the touch just for a moment and for that moment everything between them is absolutely right. "Can it be this simple?" The angel whispers and as Dean presses their lips together he really believes, for a second, that it can be.

Artemis