Carson hurried into the infirmary, grabbed a med kit, and went to the locked cabinet where he kept the sedatives and other drugs with recreational and abuse potential. Selecting several likely candidates, he tried not to think about the uncomfortable possibility that he might shortly live out one of his Rodney revenge fantasies.

The one with the sneaking up and the loaded syringe, not the bag of lemons.

He felt a little ashamed, as though his uncharitable imagination had manifested this terrible situation. God knew, it was highly inappropriate for a physician to harbor such thoughts about patients, even privately. Worse, Rodney was more a just a patient; he was also a friend. A difficult man, perhaps, but still a friend. A petty narcissist with a level of self-absorption that defied quantification, but a friend. A tiresome windbag whose ego could rival a fully-charged ZPM in its raw power. A–

"Carson?"

Carson whirled around, feeling his guilt displayed on his face, until his face was blindsided by the surprise of his visitor's identity. "Teyla? What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you."

He lifted his eyebrows. "Has something else happened? Has Rodney–"

"Weyuhv heard nothing further from Rodney," she assured him. "I wanted to speak with you about another matter, and I felt this would be a good time to catch you privately."

Carson frowned, looking around the infirmary. They were, indeed, alone. He wondered where the rest of the medical staff was. "Well, go on, then."

"My people… We have very different... ways... from those of your people," Teyla said. She seemed to be struggling to find just the right words. "Itzzz been… challenging for me to adjust to living with Earth people."

"Really?" Carson said, genuinely surprised. He began to draw doses of medications into syringes, quickly but with precision, getting them ready. "I suppose it was difficult initially, especially before we knew about your psychic connection to the wraith. But to be honest, I've always admired how you made a place for yourself in Atlantis."

Teyla's mouth quirked with irony, and Carson was surprised to note, a little bitterness. "In many ways, that place was made for me, not by me."

He shot her puzzled glance. "I disagree. It's not easy to come into a completely foreign culture and not only make friends, but win trust and respect. I think you're selling yourself short, love."

"I do-unt… Iyuhm not talking about…" Teyla huffed an impatient sigh, looking frustrated. "I do have many friends here. So many people who-uhv become important to me." She fixed him with a steady look and added, with greater intensity, "But there is more to... I have other needs, as well, Carson."

He was carefully tucking the filled syringes into the bag as she said this, and it hung in the air for a second or two before slamming into the foreground of his attention. For a fleeting, frightening moment, Carson thought she was asking for him to meet those other needs, and his head was filled with a cacophony of oh, so many kinds of panic. But that cleared up pretty quickly, and he realized what she was really trying to tell him. "Oh."

Teyla frowned. "'Oh?' What do you mean, 'oh?'"

"Teyla," he said, checking the med kit one last time to ensure that he had everything he might need, "I'm very glad that you feel comfortable coming to me about this, and I'll be happy to discuss it in more depth later on. But right now is probably not the best–"

"Discuss it?" Teyla said harshly. Apparently, he'd managed to insult her somehow. "What is there to discuss? I havunnt even told you what I..." She stopped, staring more intently.

Carson hesitated. Perhaps he wasn't as sure of what she was trying to tell him as he'd thought.

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, Ancestors, Carson! You think this is about sex? Do-unt tell me that you believe Iyuhm seeking advice about sex from you."

"No, but I just… Hold on! I know a bloody thing or two about–"

"Do you imagine that I am some inexperienced child?"

"Of course not," he said. "It's just that… Well, I suppose I assumed that you weren't… sexually active."

The mocking laughter issuing from Teyla sounded out of place, and Carson wondered just how far "out of bounds" this gate thing had pushed her. "You believed I wasunnt sexually active for two and a half years? Have you noticed how I dress?"

"Back on Earth, girls dress like that before puberty!" Softening his tone, he said, "Teyla, all this time, I've never known you to seem interested in romantic relationships. At least, not with anyone from the Earth expedition. I've always assumed that, when you were ready for it, you would look to someone from your own people for that."

"Oh, I have, indeed," she confirmed. "I've had many liaisons among my people. Athosians are quite free with our pursuit of sexual satisfaction and comfort. When you live in the shadow of the wraith, denying yourself physical pleasure is seen as a waste. We do-unt attach angst and guilt to the act of coupling, as those from Earth often seem to do. We regard sex as healthy fun and engage in it as often as we wish. We practice an extensive ranges of techniques and positions. We teach them to our children when they come of age."

This had rapidly become a top candidate for most uncomfortable conversation of the month, although it was still second to the call Carson had made to the SGC three weeks ago to explain how he had managed to "find" a coma patient that he'd been unconsciously treating for almost two years.

"But I don't actually live with my people anymore. And the reason that you thought I was not 'interested' in romantic relationships, Carson, is because you do-unt really see me as human. No one in Atlantis does."

"That's not true! No one thinks anything of your wraith DNA these days."

Teyla laughed again, but she looked rather sad. "Iyuhm not talking about my DNA."

"Well," Carson said, busying himself with the med kit once more, "I think you're being daft. Everyone here looks upon you with the utmost respect. You're a member of the command staff. They look to you for advice on diplomacy. You're seen as a model for proper offworld comportment, and even in the city, they look to you for sound judgment and… Ah." He met her eyes, which were still sad, but knowing. "I think I see."

"Then you are the only one." For a moment, she sounded like her old self.

Carson realized how little consideration he had ever given to the role they'd all assigned to Teyla: that of the noble, native Pegasus sage. And while he'd certainly taken care to monitor her health and to intervene when he felt she wasn't giving herself enough rest or recreation, he'd never really thought of her as truly in need of his advice. Teyla was so self-possessed, such a, well… grown-up. That alone distinguished her around this lot. She wasn't a parent figure-they had Elizabeth for that. Teyla was more like a governess. A teacher, expected to maintain a strict level of decorum. And no one had ever bothered to note this expectation, much less disregard it.

A wave of guilt and empathy threatened to overwhelm Carson, but he was, first and foremost, the head of medicine, and there was the matter of an emergent situation hanging over their heads. "Teyla, I'm sorry, but this is a very bad time for this. Rodney–"

"I understand, of course," she said at once. But as he zipped up the med kit and started for the door, she blurted, "I need some condoms."

He stopped, looking over his shoulder, then turned toward her when she held her ground. "What, right now?"

She gestured to indicate the infirmary. "Weyuhr already here."

"We're in a bit of a crisis now, Teyla!"

"When are we not in crisis, Carson?"

"Teyla!" he said forcefully. "Rodney's about to destroy the city with his imagination. Is this really the time to be worrying about safe sex?" He listened to what he'd just said. "This is a very strange day we're having."

Teyla looked away from him, took a deep breath and let it out slowly, as though calming herself. "It has been a strange day for weeks." She met his gaze once more, looking ashamed. "You-uhr right, of course. I shouldunnt be thinking of my needs. There is too much at stake. We must go and–"

"Second drawer."

"What?"

Carson pointed. "That cabinet, second drawer from the top. Take as many as you need." He flashed her a quick smile, stayed just long enough to see her begin to return it, and hurried out of the infirmary.