I can't believe that I reach up Chapter Ten! When I started this story I couldn't think of someone reading it…and even I had reviews…Thank you.
Special thanks to my cousin - Liubo, who helped me a lot with this story. He is the one who supported me through the whole time. He has been very gracious about me and the story. The idea with Tanya and Jacob was fully his idea. He kind of knows how to break a girl's heart…
Here, the snow reach up a meter, and I can't get outside, so I'm kind of stuck right here. Since I don't have any assignments today, I am starting the new chapter. Like Frank Sinatra sang, "Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow…"
Okay, I suck at the A/N, so I'm starting. Bring the tissues.
Song: 3 Doors Down – So I need you
9. What are you?
-
It was not an ordinary hit. It was twice…no, triple pain from what I did feel in my burning foot. I screeched and fall down on the ground.
I felt my head going dizzy. I felt the uncontrollable need for sleep. The pain in my ribs didn't stop. With the second, or the minutes, the pain was becoming stronger than me. The pain was devouring me…
I felt the familiar scent of rust and salt. I felt the booming in my ears. I couldn't hear anything, I couldn't see anything…
I put my hand from where I felt the pain stronger…I felt something liquid on my hand. I grunted lightly and let my eyes close.
Shit…I'm dying…
EPOV:
"Bella?" I whimpered as I saw Bella screeching in pain. She was bent down by her was with a tears in her eyes. I wanted to run to her, but my legs paralyzed.
"Edward…" She breathed through her pain.
I somehow made my way to her, when I saw a big man running to her, with a gun pointing at Bella. I panicked at that moment. My eyes widened, I breathed heavy… What the fuck should I do?
Without any rational thought in my head, I pulled the pistol form the holster attached to my chest. Without thinking, I shot the bullet to him, but it was too late…
Just before my gun hit him, his bullet was already flying to Bella. He fell the same moment when Bella fell.
I couldn't believe what my eyes have seen. I swallowed hardly and dropped the gun on the ground. No, no, no… Wake me up, please…
"Bella…" I ran to her none-moving body. "Bella!" I kneeled in front of her and took her into my arms, her blood all over me. But right now really, I didn't care. "Bella, wake up!" I shouted at her so calm face, and slapped her across her cheek, "Bella. Bella. Bella, look at me! Open your eyes! Bella!" She didn't move. I swallowed again and started swinging back and forth. "Come on, love. Open your beautiful eyes for me. Please…"
The tears stuck into my eyes. "Bella, please…"
She didn't move. Shi didn't open her eyes. Her right rib kept bleeding. Her white shirt was now almost red. With every passed second it was becoming worse.
I pulled the phone from my pocket and dialed, "9…1…1…" I said the numbers to myself. I couldn't think rational right now.
"911. Emergency." The woman asked me few questions but I didn't answer because I didn't hear them. "What's the emergency?"
"She's not moving…" I whispered and dropped the phone on the asphalt.
I kept standing there with dying Bella in my arms, and hoping that she'll be alright.
I was sitting in the waiting room. Waiting. Just Waiting for something. I was still in shock, swinging back and forth. My eyes were mugged from the tears, and my clothes were…drained with Bella's blood. I was disaster.
I couldn't let myself feeling innocent. It was my entire fault. I shouldn't let her getting alone there. I was the one responsible for this. And now, because my stupidity, she was…I don't know how she was.
That hurt.
I didn't know how is she, what are the doctors doing to her…I felt like blind man, searching for the light. I couldn't bare the emptiness in me. Like I was shell…
I closed my eyes, and repeated the scene in my head over and over again. One second. One fucking second. If I pulled the trigger one second earlier, we wouldn't be here. I wanted to kill myself for not doing that.
On my mind came something that made my heart clench: Is she alive?
I couldn't bear the thought of her…I even couldn't say the word in my mind. If she won't live, then I won't live. I wouldn't live with the thought of her buried deep in the ground.
No! Snapped on myself. She will live.
I kicked myself for thinking this way. Bella will be fine. Bella would be fine. I kept saying myself this, believing it was true.
I needed to talk with someone. I pulled the scratched phone from my pocket and dialed the number.
"Hello?" Rose sang cheerfully. I swallowed. I would destroy her good mood. I really didn't wanted to do this, but I had a need to just talk with someone.
I swallowed again, "Rose…hey…umm…" I couldn't find the words.
"Is everything okay, E?" She said, getting suspicious.
The tears again sprang in my eyes, "It's Bella, Rose." I dropped my forehead on my palm, "She's been shot."
I was met by silence. "Which hospital?" She snapped, and I heard a voice background, then Rose said, "Bella's in the hospital."
"WHAT?" I the background voice, which was very similar to Alice's.
"Okay, Edward, we are coming stay there. Oh my God, I hope everything is alright." And with that she hung up.
Yes, I hoped too that Bella would be alright.
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_
"Mr. Masen?" A nurse was looking at me. I stood up of my chair like I was burned and came in front of her.
"How is she?" I asked in a whisper. By the time I was prepared for everything. It has been an hour she was there, and I didn't know what to expect.
"Ms. Cullen is fine, for now. She has fractures on her ankle bone and her rib. The bullet has been removed. Her vitals are stabilized. But she had lost a lot of blood. She is still in unconsciousness. She has to rest much. She'll sleep for hours…or a day. Isabella will be moved in private room as soon as they finish up with the stitches." She stopped and looked at me with cocked eyebrows, "She has a great luck, because if the bullet hit her three centimeters higher, that would be fatal." She stated, and started staring my pale face. "Is everything okay, Mr. Masen?" The nurse asked me. I swallowed and turned my back to her and walked away.
I slumped on the chair and shut my eyes.
Fractures.
Lost of blood.
Unconsciousness.
She'll sleep for hours…
Or days.
The words echoed in my head. My fists clenched and my nostrils flared. I swallowed. I was the one who caused this. I'll never live with that shit…I couldn't. She'll have a scare for the rest of her life. She'll wear it every day of her life and I'll be the one who'll see it.
Shut it, Masen.
Then it snapped out of my mind.
She'll be alright. That was the important thing. The love of my life will live.
Yes, I said that.
She is the love of my life. I love her. I think that from the whole ridiculous start I felt like that, but I realized it now. The thought of that made so happy and confused at once. I've never fell in love so hard. It was so much different. The feeling was extraordinary, so powerful, so pure…
I took a deep steady breath. "Edward!" I heard Rosalie screeching, and I turned my head to see her. She had a shocked face, while she ran to me. Behind her were Alice, Emmett, and Jazz.
Uh-oh. I will be probably killed right now.
Rose shook my shoulders, "Edward, what the hell happened? Talk to me!" She demanded, and I just stared.
"How's Bella?" Alice asked behind Rose.
"Who was the bastard, Edward?" Emmett asked with a raw expression.
The questions flew, and I didn't know on which one to answer. Not that they gave me the chance to speak.
And Jasper just right there, while he punched Em in the shoulder, "Shut the fuck up, Em! Shut the fuck up all!" He shouted, "Don't you see that he's not feeling perfect. and stop asking stupid questions!" His nostrils flared, while he looked at me, "Are you okay, E?" He asked suddenly. I just shook my head. He nodded, "I understand you." He whispered, "Any references from the doctor?" She asked with a careful expression.
Well, Jasper Cullen was the only one who you can communicate normal in this moment. Without any screams or pity glances.
I nodded my head, "Her right leg and rib are fractured." He sat beside me, mirroring my pose - watching the white floor with wide open eyes. I continued, "The bullet is removed, but she's still sleeping…" I sighed. I glanced at him. His eyes were closed. I knew what his next question would be.
"For how long?" He asked the question I was expecting.
"In the worst way – a day, maybe." My voice betrayed, and trembled at the words. "The nurse told me that there is no reason for us to worry, but I still can't believe what happened…" In that moment I wanted to get lower from the grass. Everybody was watching me with pity eyes. I hated that. Like I was the victim. But I wasn't. The action repeated once in my head and I inhaled sharply.
I closed my eyes, "Edward, how could you let that happen?" Rose asked with a tiny voice. I opened my mouth to answer but Em interrupted me with a loud huff.
"Rose, how can you say something like that to your brother?" He asked disbelievingly. I looked up to see him. He watched Rose, and Rose was watching him. He gripped her shoulders, "I'm sure that he tried everything. And if Edward wasn't there, Bella would be…" We all winced at his direction of thoughts. He sighed, "And Bella is like that. Always. I'm sure that you had a fight before." My eyes widened, but I made a light nod. He rolled his eyes at Jasper, who was watching him.
Jazz nodded and looked at me, "She always get a fight with someone before getting undercover. She is acting stubbornly and stupid. We know her. And then she always is getting in trouble." Amusement flied across Jazz's face and he looked at Em. "Em, do you remember when Bella got kidnapped by this psycho?" They both laughed.
Only me, Rose, and Alice watched like moose. I didn't understand where was the big fucking joke right there. "Will someone tell me what the hell is going on here?" Alice shouted, and laugh stopped. Em and Jazz huffed.
Jazz started again, "We just want you to know that Bella is tough. She is like an ant. She'll not die easy. She's been through a lot. I mean physically and emotionally. And like a real Cullen, she can make it through everything. Like you said, she is fighter. That is nothing more than a scratch to her." He finished, and then a smile played across his lips, "She always wanted a bullet scare." Then he looked, lost in his thoughts. "She'll be fine" he muttered to himself.
I shook my head disbelievingly. I didn't expect this reaction from The Cullens.
What the fuck just happened here?
*_*_*_*_*_
Bella was still asleep, and for me it was like the time stopped. Everything was such a blur without her. I wanted her. I wanted to feel her warm embrace, her soft kiss, her body. I needed her. She was the one who can save me from my shittiness right now.
The waiting for her to wake up was painful. The seconds turned to minutes, the minutes became hours. Whole seven hours and forty seven minutes. I kept glancing at the clock above the door of the waiting room. The clock was ticking, filling the room with the most painful noise. Each tick gave me disappointment, pain, and emptiness in me.
It was two hours after midnight, and nurses who passed by were telling me to get some sleep, but I couldn't. The thought of her there, slumped on some table was sending every time chills through my spine, and my eyes were widening. Even if I wanted to sleep, I couldn't.
Jasper and Emmet were on my both sides, tapping their foot with folded arms. My sisters were in the café to take something to warm us. Not that anything could warm me. There was only one person that can make feel like this. My jaw clenched.
"How you two can be so calm?" I asked. They were the calmest people I've ever seen. That was making me fury and relaxed at once.
They glanced at me, and Em started. I turned my attention to him, "First of all, I'm not as calm as I look. Second, if you live with Bella for twenty three years, you'll get the idea that she gets in a lot of troubles." He huffed heavily, "Jazz and I got the idea that if she's not in a life danger then nothing is going to happen to her. She's fighter, Masen!" He patted me on the back. "Now, take it easy. She'll be fine. I'm sure that when she wakes up, you'll be the first person who Bella will want to see." He smirked at me.
I hope it would be like this.
I sighed. As much as I want to deny it, they were right. She was out of danger. And I can't wait for her to wake up.
Alice and Rose came with paper cups of coffee in their hands. Rose handed me a cup, "Black, no sugar." She said with a small smile.
That immediately sent images of Bella making me coffee in my shirt that morning before a week or so. I missed her… so much. With every cell in my body I was feeling that I need her so fucking much. My heart knew that, and how many times my brain told me not to do that, I loved her.
I took a large sip of the coffee. It was nothing compared to Bella's. I stared at the cup and let the steam wash over my face. Rose kneeled in front of me, her hands on my knees. Her eyes were worried and full of sadness.
"Edward, please. Tell me what is wrong. You are torturing me. You didn't say anything, you did nothing." She stated, and I just huffed."I'm worried about Bella too. But how Em and Jazz told, she will be fine, Edward." She squeezed my knee lightly. "And stop blaming yourself." She told me in a harsh tone.
I shook my head. "I think I should go to the men's room." I said and handed my coffee to Alice, "I would be back in short." I stood up and started walking to my destination.
I didn't have the need to piss or something. I just wanted to be alone.
I leaned my hands on the counter, so that the sink was between my hands and looked myself in the large mirror. I growled at my face. My face was mother fucking disaster. The blood on the shirt was now brown, dried. I was pale like hell. My lips were swollen from a lot of chewing. The stubble across my jaw and chin was too long. The blue circles under my eyes were so deep, that they were with a full contrast in my face. My hair was completely mess. And not mess in the good point…It was…disaster. I was disaster.
My eyes weren't the usual green, which glows every time when I see her. They were dark, and my pupils were so big, that my eyes were almost black. "Asshole." I whispered to myself in the mirror. I run the water through the white sink and let my hands feel the coldness. I washed my hands slowly and then leaned my face to the spray and rinsed it. I rubbed my face a little and then stretched up.
I looked myself one more time. The water was dripping through my horrible looking face. I took a deep steady breath and closed my eyes to take what was coming next. I didn't know what was coming next, actually.
I heard a toilet being flushed and turned my head to the direction of the sound instinctively. A tall guy with well tanned skin and black copper air came out and nodded to me greeting me. Now it was not the time to make new friendships. So I just turned, walking away, but he spoke while he washed his hands.
"The waiting is killing you, am I right?" He asked. I stopped in the middle of the way. I turned to him and gave him the glare of death.
"You don't know anything." I snarled through my clenched teeth. I kept glaring him while he just shrugged. I wanted to fucking kill him right now.
He smiled wickedly, "Ah, the old same feeling of guilt…" He laughed.
Now I was really ready to fucking kill him.
"Who the fuck are you?" I asked, still composed, but if he says one more word I will be ready to attack.
H e crossed his arm on his chest. "I'm like you. I'm waiting and I feel the guilt." He said simply. What the fuck this is supposed to mean?
I scrunched my eyes, "You know, fuck you! I don't have the time for this." I snarled and stormed out of the men's room, closing the door with a loud 'thump'.
I inhaled deeply. What the fuck was that? I thought of that while I came back to my chair in the waiting room. I took the coffee from Alice's hand.
"What is it, E?" Alice asked concerned. I looked at her and shook my head.
"Nothing." I pursed my lips and took a sip from the terrible coffee. It was cold already.
"Mr. Masen?" I heard my name and I jumped off of the chair and I was met by another nurse. The others followed me
"Is there something wrong?" I couldn't suppress the question.
She smiled kindly at me. "Miss Swan has been moved to a private room. She still resting, but if you want, you can visit her." She said. I heard how Jazz and Em hugged each other with a loud pat on the back.
"Thank you, God!" The girls breathed in the same time
I exhaled. Like a whole weight was pulled out of me, "Which room?" I asked.
She smiled again, "Down the hall, last room." She paused, "Please, be quiet." She said and walked away.
The butterflies in stomach played their own dance and my heart was beating twice faster that average.
"Let's go." Em patted me on the back. Rose and Al smiled at me. Jazz nodded silently.
We walked in complete silence. I couldn't stop thinking how Bella will look. Don't get me wrong, I knew she was beautiful as always, but the thought of her in a hospital bed was terrifying. I couldn't look at her when she was in pain. I don't think I could bear it.
"Take it easy, man!" Emmett patted me again. I swallowed. We were in front of the door and I was freaking the shit out of me. I huffed and opened the door.
The first thing I was met were the sounds.
Beep… Beep… Beep… Beep…
The beeping sounds were in normal pace. I was happy to hear that her heart was beating like normal. Then it came the visual scene.
Exactly in front of me was the bed where Bella was laid. I could only manage to see her little frame without any details. So I came closer. I stood beside her body.
She was so relaxed in her sleep, so calm. Her face was so pale and pure, she looked like an angel. There were only the deep circles under her eyes. Her arms were resting beside her, on the one was a inserted a needle.
Emmett and Jazz came on my side and the girls on her other side. "I told you she would be fine." Emmett told me behind me.
I took her motionless hand in mine. Her hand was very cold. I rubbed it with my hand to warm it up. Her skin was so soft, pale… and cold. It was so surrealistic. I got used to her warm body, and now that warmness has gone.
Soon, I told myself, soon this warmness will be returned.
She was breathing though a mask. With exhaled breath the mask was sweating, then again it was pure. Her lips were parted slightly.
"Hey! What happened to the guy who shot Bella?" Emmett asked suddenly.
I turned to him, "He's dead. For him the bullet was fatal." I said with a cold voice. I can't believe that killed someone. But if I have to protect Bella I didn't care – I would kill everyone who lay a finger on her without her permission.
Emmett nodded his head curtly, "Good. Thank you, Edward." He said and then laughed at my surprised face.
"For what?" I asked. He didn't have any reason to thank me. I was the one let his sister in the trap.
He shook his head, and smirked, looking at the ground, "For everything. You'll realize sooner or later."
I scrunched my eyebrows. For what is he talking about?
However, I returned to Bella's face. Everything was so silent. Only the beeping of the machine was filling the room with the most annoying sound. Now I was hovered by two things.
By the silence and the expectations.
BPOV:
Where am I?
This place was so familiar to me. The steamy scent in the air, the cold wet ground beneath me, the soft wind…I couldn't manage to see the things in details. I could see only shadows, shapes, and most clear thing was the full moon. I stared it for moment.
I heard how a wolf, somewhere near, growled. I turned myself, trying to see it. But I couldn't see anything. The familiar scent hit all my senses. The scent of pines and lavender overtook me and I felt how I moved my feet. I didn't want to move. Like some power was taking all of me, like I was a doll in its arms.
The shadows were becoming clear and clear. And finally I could see the whole image around me. I realized where I was. It was the meadow in the woods back in Forks, where I and my family used to hanging out. Because of the night, the green long grass was with silvery shimmer, and the wild purple flowers were deep blue.
I reached up the end of the meadow, and I could see three firm male shadows. They were sitting in front of me, not moving at all. The power which got me to move stopped. I didn't make a move. It was complete silence.
I opened my mouth to speak, but it didn't come out anything.
What is happening here?
"Bella. Come here," A throaty familiar voice told me. That was the voice, who meant a lot to me once, but it reminded me only pain. It was Jacob's.
I furrowed my brows and swallowed.
"Bella, don't!" Shouted a firm voice, which I didn't recognize. The voice seemed to protect from Jacob. "Bella…" He whispered - his voice deep and massive.
"Who are you?" I asked, but my voice was so low and husky, like I didn't speak with days.
"I'm your friend." He said. I was completely confused right now.
"Bella, come with me." The velvety voice, which I could recognize everywhere called me. I inhaled deeply.
I couldn't let my feet moving. I wanted to move them, but I couldn't.
"Bella, don't make me wait." Edward told me with a firm voice, and I imagined how he clenched his teeth.
I finally made my feet work. Now where?
"Edward! Where are you?" I screamed.
"Bella…" Jacob's voice called me again.
"Bella, don't." The foreign voice called.
"Come…" Edward's voice beckoned.
I realized where he was standing and ran as fast as could. My eyes were closed because of the wind that was bruising my face.
My feet stopped, and I opened my eyes. The shadows disappeared. I was alone.
I exhaled. "Edward!" I screamed as loud as I can.
"You have late." I felt how his whisper brushed through my ear. So close that I could smell his breath. I felt his warm body pressed in my back. I felt his fingers running through my shoulders.
In the next moment, the warm whispering was gone. The warmness was gone. Everything was gone.
I looked around. I was breathing heavy, my eyes widening. And slowly everything became disappearing around me.
The soft scent disappeared around me. Every flower, every pine, everything around me disappeared. The moon slowly faded out, so now it was so dark, that I couldn't see anything. I felt how the grass didn't wasn't beneath me anymore. Nothing was beneath my feet…
I closed my eyes. I was falling. And now, the darkness turned to blinding white tunnel which I was falling. I couldn't scream or shout… or whisper. I was just falling. I didn't know where I was falling. The tunnel didn't have an end.
Suddenly I opened my eyes and took inhaled as much as my lungs can take.
Ouch!
I felt surrealistic pain in my ribs. I groaned as my eyes were met by the fluorescent lamp above me. I kept breathing heavily, and pain in my chest was horrible. I realized that I was breathing through something. I looked down at the mask.
I looked around. And I was met by my closest people – Rose, Alice, Em, Jazz, and Edward. My vision was blurry, but I could manage their figures.
After moments, I remembered everything – the bug, the microphone, Bree, Gorilla One and Gorilla Two…
I was shot. And the pain in my chest… That explained something. I was shot in the ribs.
The lightly pain I felt on my ankle… I tripped… or fell.
And then I remembered the dream.
I felt a warm hand on mine cold one and I looked over again. Through blurry my vision I saw Edward who was standing right beside me, smiling with his damn crooked smile. I smiled through my mask, but I was sure that I looked like an idiot.
"I was waiting for you." He whispered, and kissed my cold hand.
Okay, if I compare that with my dream I would ask something:
What the fuck is that?
You can shoot me if you want. After that chapter I feel like my head will fucking explode. I feel very bad and I think that I am getting sick.
However, I'll update as usual – every week, you know it.
Leave review!
Love,
Gucinka