Chapter 10: Monsters

"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster."

~Fredrick Nietzsche

~Tom~

Dumbledore was a fucking monster and there was nothing that the man could do that would ever make Tom believe otherwise. He made Harry into a broken twisted thing that believed, truly deeply believed, the world would be better without her in it. He crafted such profound manipulations into Harry that she believed she had to be ready to sacrifice her life, her happiness, her everything for the good of others and never for her own.

He had instilled it so deeply inside of her that even now in her apathy Harry still thought of the world before she thought of her own desires. Tom wasn't blind, he knew that even though Harry had shared her knowledge with him it would never make up for real experience. That had Harry been so inclined she could have ended him…ended everything…with very little that could have stopped her. Yet she had not, and instead she had given the reins over to Tom. He decided…Harry responded.

Harry wanted to submit to him and in her submission she had all the power; even though in all appearances on the outside it seemed as if he did. There was very little in this world left for Harry to fear…because there were very few nightmares she hadn't already lived through. However, Tom knew…bone deep knew…that Harry was more afraid of dying and leaving his side than even Tom was afraid of dying at all.

Tom knew she was afraid of that.

Yet, lately the only thing Harry could seem to think of was the fate of the world. A dead world, where magic was long gone and all that was left was her starving…over and over. The issue, Tom thought, was that Harry had no idea how the world got there. Oh, she had plenty of theories. Nuclear War, Biological war or terror, pollution, deforestation, it could be all of these things or a combination…or none. Tom thought that maybe it was the mystery of it all that made her obsess on those memories of lives best forgotten.

She had forgotten them…not so much literally as in figuratively. Harry remembered everything, it was part of the terrible side effect of her immortality, to remember and never die. However, she had lived so many lives, seen so much, been so much; that she had learned to bury thoughts so deep she didn't even register having them. Now that Harry had essentially relived everything alongside him, well, now she dwelled on that.

Harry brooded and Tom planned.

It was all well and good that she was obsessed with a very real issue but Tom was more concerned with their immediate problem. Immortality. They both needed real true immortality and thanks to Harry's wealth of knowledge Tom had so many ideas. Surprisingly a lot of Harry's lives as a muggle had given him various ideas that had a lot of potential. The muggles it seemed had quite a few scientist that were as obsessed with defeating death as he was, stem cell research, research on what aging actually was, cloning, all these things and more Tom knew he could use to find a solution.

However, Tom also knew these avenues had been explored before, Nicolas Flamel and his philosopher's stone was one glaring example. It gave the user youth and unlimited wealth…at the same time it tied the user to the stone. It made the user completely dependent on the elixir of life and that was not true immortality. His counterpart had probably seen this and decided to go the path of splitting his soul to ensure he was not tied to life with only an elixir. This path was flawed as well since the horcroux also was not a form of true immortality just a stopgap that ensured he would not die.

It was unfortunate that the muggles were not as far along in their science as they were in some of Harry's lives because their research could certainly complement his own. No matter, he had Harry's memories and while her knowledge of such things was incomplete it was extensive. She had been a Doctor a few times and a research analyst once. It meant that he would need to go through her memories meticulously and write down the knowledge. He had a fantastic memory but sometimes having the knowledge displayed before your eyes can give you more inspiration than simply being lost in thought.

Which somehow brought him back to Dumbledore, the devil given flesh, the great deceiver, the monster that lurked in the shadows because he was always watching them Tom knew his plans would have to be so subtle. He could not research as openly or as freely as he wanted to because there Dumbledore was…watching…waiting. It was incredibly creepy how he watched both him and Harry so very closely.

Tom knew that some of it was justified, because he knew the path he could have walked had Harry not shared everything with him. However, it was so incredibly not because Dumbledore had no idea what their future would bring and he watched them anyway. When it came down to it in the outside world Harry and him were only two very talented twelve year old boys (as far as he knew). What grown man watched two boys so intently? What grown man judged two children so harshly?

What gave Dumbledore the right to look at two children and see monsters in waiting? And Tom was sure he saw monsters in them, he was always overly strict with the two of them, always cold and his eyes were always judging them with disappointment. Oh, to so many people he was kind, gentle, he gave so many second and third chances…even ones who did not deserve them. Yet, when it came to Harry and him there was not even one single chance. It was like he wanted them to go down a dark path the way he continually steered them towards that…intentionally or not.

For Tom it was all so increasingly ironic that Dumbledore was seen as such the fine young man when he was the monster he was hunting. Dumbledore had been involved in his sister's death, whether he killed her or not, and somehow Tom who had yet to kill anyone deserved scorn? For what? Killing a rabbit? For stealing some things from brutish bullying children? Dumbledore wasn't even trying to stop his old lover from his quest to destroy the muggles. He was willfully ignoring any who approached him about joining the resistance against this budding Dark Lord. How was Dumbledore seen as such a paragon of good?

Tom didn't understand it. What Tom thought Dumbledore failed to realize was that only monsters go after monsters and as much as Dumbledore was doing to try and convince himself as well as others that he wasn't a monster…that was exactly what he had become. Dumbledore hid his monster well, behind twinkling eyes, gentle words and kind smiles. It did little to hide that condescending superiority that lurked inside of him because Tom saw it. Tom saw it in the way Dumbledore talked to everyone like they were all children, even his elders, and the way he refused to even try to be kind to Tom and Harry.

Dumbledore was a fucking monster that was trying to convince himself and the world he was an angel. It wouldn't bother Tom that much had it not been working.

~Harry~

Tom was scowling at Dumbledore again and Harry had to wonder what the hell he was thinking about now. Since she had given him her knowledge Tom had amped up his hatred of the man to a level Harry had previously thought impossible. She glanced down at her wrist, Tom had it in an iron grip again and it only seemed to get tighter by the minute. He almost always had his hands on her now, like if he wasn't touching her she would disappear, it was as comforting as it was heartbreaking.

Harry knew Tom could not truly understand what it is to love someone, oh he could playact the part perfectly if he so desired but feeling it…was just not inside of him. He didn't know compassion and barely had any empathy…Tom was not a good person. Harry knew and understood this but frankly she did not care. Tom needed her like he needed air, he didn't love her but he did need her and that was enough. He needed her, so he would never leave her; he needed her so he would take care of her and do what he had to ensure that she had what she needed. It wasn't love…but it was so very close that Harry wondered how true Dumbledore's belief that Tom could not love was accurate.

Not that it mattered at the moment. Harry elbowed Tom and he turned his scowling eyes from Dumbledore and Harry nudged him to his food. Both of them had eaten very little the last few days and it was not good. The war was picking up in the muggle world and rationing was beginning. When people could barely afford the necessities the luxuries fell to the wayside. Unfortunately their little musician jobs had been falling off recently and so their extra funds had taken a big hit…nothing that they hadn't budgeted for but it still meant eating as healthy as they had been was almost impossible.

So Tom and her needed to pack on some weight while they had the chance so they could survive the lean summer months to come. Tom turned his attention to breakfast and Harry turned her eyes to Eileen Prince. She was like a ghost in their house, she had no friends, no real connections and she did as her brother told her to do. She was not powerful, she was not conventionally beautiful and overall she was easy to ignore. She did have an incredible talent in potions, but she never boasted of it. The rest of her though was so…mediocre…that even her potions talent had not excited Slughorn's interest and so she was not in the Slug Club.

Harry wondered if this isolated loneliness is what had given her the courage to leave the magical world and marry a muggle. Eileen's older brother was everything a bigoted pureblood needed to be and Harry doubted he would have abided his little sister marrying a muggle. Something must have happened to him, Harry wondered if he had died in the war that was brewing or had been incapacitated in some other way. Harry knew that Eileen would not have married Snape if he brother had been around to retaliate.

Tom squeezed her wrist and Harry turned her attention back to him. He was looking at her again with such a profound look in his eye and Harry wasn't sure what to make of it. Harry had honestly been surprised that Tom had not killed her when she had revealed all to him, but maybe she shouldn't have been so quick to judge him harshly. After all for all his apathy Tom was not Lord Voldemort yet and she was beginning to realize that he may never become that at all. She had changed so much in him, Harry was beginning to see that now, and it made her hopeful.

For all the darkness in her life, for all the heartbreak and torment…here she was still. Here she was being held onto by a boy who knew everything, saw everything, and still he had not turned away from her. She was not alone for the first time in eons and it took her breath away. This was a lesson she had forgotten somewhere along the way while she had been drowning in the darkness…that there was always light. Even on the darkest nights there were always stars and she had blinded herself to it all. Because life had hurt her so much, so often, she had let that darkness inside herself drown out all the beauty.

Then Tom had come back into her life, Tom who had become the villain that had stolen her parents in her first life, Tom who had been the source of so much pain for her…and he had reached into that darkness and pulled her out to the light. He would probably never realize it, never appreciate it like she could, but Harry felt it all the same. Tom was her light now…as dark as he was…because he had looked at the shattered mess that she was and said stay. Tom said that he would not let her be alone ever again…yes it was a threat to him…yes Harry realized he would do everything even break her apart to make it so and it gave her hope.

What did Harry care about being broken? She had been torn apart by monsters in this world, monsters with kind faces and gentle words. They had raped and ripped her apart…over and over. She could deal with being broken again if it meant she could stay by his side forever and never have to suffer eternity alone again. It would be worth all the pain in the world if he could really do it. Bind them together forever.

It was so ironic that it was a devil that saved her; Tom had taken her out of the darkness and shown her that there was still something in this world that was worth living for again. Because she might have been alive for eons but it had been a very long time since she was truly living. Some people die young and aren't buried until their bodies are old and cold. She had been dead inside for so long, surviving and not thriving.

It ignited something inside herself, something she barely remembered anymore, something that made her look at Eileen…look at the world and realize it needed saving. That she had something left to give when she had thought she had nothing left of herself to give anymore. One could only see the sea of torment she had for so long without losing that hope…that will to reach out and help someone…something. Harry had thought compassion had died inside of her and yet…Tom had breathed it back into her.

Compassion.

She now had it in her to worry about the future, to worry about a world without magic, without unicorns and wizards. She had it in her now to care and it left her with so much worry for the future. Now she actually wanted to know how the world had gotten to that broken dead place where nothing lived anymore. Of course she had cared about this before, she had tried to stop it before, but maybe she had been looking in the wrong places. She had tried to stop the creation of those bombs but Tom had pointed out it could have been any number of things that had ended it all.

It could have been so many things and that was the problem. How do you stop something you knew was coming if you didn't know how it had come? If you only know the results and not the process…how could they stop it? How could they save this…light. How could she save their world? Harry knew Tom was more concerned with gaining their immortality than what they were going to do afterwards. Tom liked to focus on one goal at a time, oh he would make plans, but he would not act until he had accomplished his first priority. Harry wanted to do it all at once, she wanted to do it all and that was the problem.

"Deep thoughts?" Abraxas teased as he sat down across from the two of them.

Tom smirked, "At least we have thoughts," Harry chuckled.

"Well snap out of it you two, you've been ignoring us all morning it's time to slum it with the peons." Abraxas retorted.

Sometimes Harry actually enjoyed having him around, in moments like this because Abraxas was very good at putting them both in the moment. As boring as that moment could be sometimes it did no one any good to dwell on the future and forget to live in the present. Harry smiled, "Well as entertaining as this is Tom and I have Potions first thing." She got up and Tom followed his hold on her unwavering.

~Tom~

The first month of school was always a trial, because it was hard to establish a routine that worked for them. Especially since Tom's priorities had shifted so very far from where he had been headed, for one he no longer had to figure out where he came from, Harry knew and so Tom knew. While it rankled that his mother was a hideous half squib/witch and his father was a filthy muggle it was not as important to him as it might have been had he not known so much. He definitely had plans for his father and that man would die for abandoning him. However, that didn't mean that the man couldn't have his uses before he suffered for his trespasses.

Since he no longer had to obsess with his own origins he could focus on finding out Harry's body's origins. Which would be considerably harder, Harry's new name was not her body's original one Tom was positive about that since Harry was sure that Hogwarts registered magical from a combo of soul and blood magic. Tom had given Harry her new name and her soul had accepted. Whoever her body had been originally had died, that soul was gone and the name had left with that soul. So he didn't know her body's true name nor her where she was from originally.

Harry had awoken in a burnt down house, in those ashes she had arisen like a phoenix but it was everything else had burned. Harry wasn't even entirely sure where she had awoken because she had been so set on avoiding people unless absolutely necessary. Good for her safety and shit for leads. The only thing they had was her Parseltongue as a lead, since a body needs to have the potential for it for Harry to utilize the ability. It wasn't much to go on and he was stalled there so far because he needed to research Parseltongue more in order to narrow down any leads. For all Tom knew Parseltongue was more prevalent in Europe or Asia or anywhere else. The body could have been a foreigner, or a descendant of one.

It was all very frustrating.

Then there was his research on immortality that took up a majority of his research time. There was preciously little available on alchemy and that line of thinking available in the Hogwarts library. It didn't help that Harry was splitting her time helping him research and tending to her pets. Tom sneered at them. That oaf Hagrid was hopeless and that beaten down mess that the Prince girl was…was so pathetic he was in disbelief that Harry gave either of them any of her precious time. So between classes, independent research and consolidating their power inside their house it was a very busy month.

Finding was the time to balance everything was difficult but somehow Tom was managing. He was still annoyed with Harry's altruistic tendencies but it did wonders for their image outside their house so Tom didn't complain. Already people struggling in other houses were approaching Harry in hopes of torturing, and she held study sessions that Tom helped out with on occasion. It made them seem approachable and it helped them seem more benign. If Tom had learned anything from watching Harry's memories of Dumbledore was this…if you wanted to have power over the majority in this world without people openly rebelling on you…you had to seem like a paragon of the light.

Dumbledore would gain so much power by denying power with false modesty. Tom was determined to use this to his advantage as well, he would be respected, he would be adored and the ones who needed the terror would find it him. Those that needed to believe that they were following the right side, the side of justice and light would see only his angelic mask. Just as Dumbledore made all believe him to be this righteous man so too would Tom. It annoyed him to pretend to be so benevolent and nice. He would do so and luckily those in the know who valued ruthlessness and merciless strength…they would be his outlet for his frustrations.

~Abraxas~

This was either going to pay off or blow up spectacularly in his face. Abraxas ignored the tremor in his hands and followed the two most dangerous people in his house as carefully as possible. He had spent almost the entire year getting the disillusionment charm and the silencing charms mastered. He had been afraid it would have to wait until next year but last week he had managed it perfectly. So here he was, following Tom and Harry, and praying desperately that he would not be discovered.

There was a brief moment when he was almost frozen in disbelief when they entered the girls bathroom on the second floor but he managed to shake it off and into the room if only barely. Harry looked through the stalls and nodded to Tom who set a privacy and locking ward on the door. Abraxas was relieved because had he set those on the two of them instead it would have been pointless being here.

Tom looked to Harry questioningly, "I want to start bringing some of the others into the fold on our preparations." Harry said simply and Tom raised an eyebrow.

"And you think that's wise?" Tom said tone unimpressed.

"Yes, as talented as you are Tom, as brilliant as you are, not even you can do everything. We need other people to concentrate on the things that are important but not as integral as what we're doing. Plus we need resources Tom; our funds are deficient right now and with the wars to come…" Harry began but Tom interrupted her.

"I have plans in place to fix our deficiencies this summer; we need no one but each other Harry." Tom hissed crowding into Harry's place and grasping her arms tightly. Harry seemed unfazed by the action and even though Abraxas could tell the grip he had on her was bruising.

"Tom," Harry said soothingly, "it's more than that and you must know it. What we want to do…what we have to do…the scope is too large and the consequences are too deep to leave this to only the two of us."

"Only the two of us matter. Let them burn," Tom hissed spitefully and Abraxas' heart spend up.

Harry leaned into Tom further pressing her face into his neck and then she started to hiss in the seductive tones of Parseltongue. Listening to it even though he could not understand it was as dangerous as it was tempting, it was like standing at the edge of the astronomy tower and feeling that urge to jump. The call of the void. Tom was far from seduced but Abraxas noticed him softening his hard stance.

Tom hissed back and though his tone was firm Harry seemed to be gaining ground. "Fine," Tom said switching back to English, "We will discuss it more over the summer; however, we will secure our position first. I will not go to them hat in hand…like some filthy beggar." Harry smiled and trailed her hands down Tom's arms gently. "Of course my love," Harry said smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

Looking at her now Abraxas wondered how the others could be so bloody blind thinking she was a boy, for Merlin sakes, she was beautiful. He admittedly had not figured it out until this year but still. Harry was growing more and beautiful as time passed. She also was not suffering from the cracking voices or broadening shoulders that was typical of boys in her age group. Abraxas had noticed her softening curves and the fullness of her lips. He shook himself out of his thoughts when Harry went to speak again and hoped she stayed to English.

"So, how should we approach this…visions of the future are not as common as they once were," Harry began but Tom had lost his patience.

"I said we will discuss it this summer," Tom said with narrowed eyes.

"But," Harry began but Tom interrupted her pulling her tighter into his arms with darkened eyes. He kissed her, swallowing anything Harry might have said and Abraxas felt terribly awkward. Watching Tom kiss Harry was horribly embarrassing and completely uncomfortable. Harry melting into Tom and returning the kiss just made it all so much worse somehow. When they pulled apart Tom was panting and Harry was smiling slyly, "You're getting better at that." Abraxas choked, Merlin help him, he just wanted away from this situation now.

Tom was smirking at her smugly, "of course," how two words could sound so arrogant Abraxas did not know. "Come, there is much to do and I can't stay here without being tempted," Tom said glancing at the sink. Abraxas choked, his face got impossibly red at the insinuation.

Harry grinned at Tom a teasing lilt to her tone, "Yes let's go before you're tempted…though I wouldn't mind seeing your big snake again." Harry grinned as Tom rolled his eyes and Abraxas felt like he was going to die of embarrassment. This was not something he thought he would have to worry about for a few more years with the two of them. Following them had its risks but he hadn't factored in this uncomfortable possibility. Abraxas knew he would have to prepare himself for the possibility if he wanted to follow them again and he knew himself to know he would be following again.

Tom and Harry were too dangerous to leave to their own devices. Tom was more so than Harry, though Abraxas noticed that Harry's apathy to the world had dimmed a little this year he wasn't so sure that was a good thing. Harry was just as dangerous as Tom but she was uninterested…Tom was not. If Harry started to pay attention to the world Abraxas had no doubt the entire world would fall to Tom's feet. That was the issue of course, one powerful magical prodigy was enough but two…that was game changing. Especially since Harry was Tom's weapon, Abraxas shivered and stayed in place as the two of them left.

One thing was for sure those two were planning something big. All year Tom had been disappearing off with Harry into the Library and who knew where else. There was something different about them now, a closeness that had not been there before and that wasn't all. Tom who had before been so focused on building his power base and extending his influence had pulled back on his efforts. Oh, Tom still maintained his position but he no longer made the same effort into it as he once did…something else had captured his focus. Abraxas was afraid of what could draw away someone with so much ambition away from social power…it was disturbing.

Abraxas knew that soon something was coming, something big, and he wasn't sure if the world would be ready for it. He wasn't ready for it.

A.N.: Hey everyone, gotta be honest I didn't see this coming I didn't think I would get this down so soon but here we are. I had inspiration and some time this weekend and so here it is. Unedited but I hardly ever do edit my work lol. Dirty habit I know. So many of you have expressed so much concern for my health that I am humbled, thank you, it means a lot. I am not going to lie, Viral Meningitis is absolutely shit and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I suffered for three days at home thinking it was just the flu before I went to the ER. Guys if you ever experience flu like symptoms with a crippling stiffness in your neck go to the hospital… that shit is serious. The meningitis passed through my blood and got into my spine…from there it went on to attack all the nerves in my body and brain giving me a pain signal from them all at once. That shit…fuck the closest way I could describe it would be if you experienced being held under the Crucio for a few weeks…the pain was…there are no words guys. I thought I was losing my mind, with the drugs they had me on…four different types of morphine that barely did anything…and the pain…god guys the pain. My body was shutting down from the pain, I wasn't retaining any sodium and my heart was going crazy. About the only symptom I didn't have from the Meningitis was the seizures and the DRs were seriously concerned I was going to have a heart attack. Through all that I didn't stop fighting, not for minute because I knew that moment I did it was over. The Drs can't do anything for Viral guys, only manage your pain and hope you get through it. When I was in the hospital staring at death in the face every day I realized a lot. Life is too fucking short…too short to not follow your dreams…I had been making all these excuses about why I couldn't write. I was pregnant, then my baby needed my attention, then there was just too much to do…it was in the hospital I realized it was all bullshit and I was just scared. Scared I wouldn't live up to my expectations that my work would be pointless. Through it all you guys reviewed, you asked me to some back, and when I did you said to get better that you didn't mind waiting. I'm humbled and awed and hope to god I can live up to this guys but I will say I am not giving up, I'm going to try so hard to get this done.

Thank you.

On another note, I have three ideas on which direction I wanted this story to go now but I don't have a soild plan yet so I thought why not get some input from you guys. This wont effect the story for a while but it will decide its ending. So guys are we going to the stars? Are we saving the world? Or…are we leaving that entirely? Cause I am not against a crossover at this point and I have this deep desire to see what Tom would do if he and Harry were plopped into the Game of Thrones. Lol something about Tom with a crown and a chance to do some world building from scratch is so very appealing…gahh. Or even seeing how Tom would take on a contender of Sauron's character is very appealing too. Lol. But who knows, final decision of course is mine but I am interested in your opinion. So I'm putting up a poll, Do we Stay Put, Go to the Stars, or are we gonna be devious with a Crossover?