Harry Potter And His Minds Torment, Sins Of The Past Part Two,

by phoenixgirl26

Harry and Ginny's life is happy, content. There are surprises, shocks, sadness, that ends when Harry is confronted by a mistake he made in his recent past, a mistake that could end in death, a mistake that could end Harry's freedom. Warning's inside.

10. Chapter 10

Chapter ten

Over the next few days Katie was still quiet and spent a lot of time sitting outside under the tree. She had suffered from some very bad nightmares, screaming and thrashing through the night until Charlie was able to calm her down. Sometimes when Charlie touched her, she would flinch and pull away, but Charlie didn't take it personally anymore. He knew she was thinking about what happened. He stood just inside the door and watched Katie as she sat under the tree again, staring into space. He'd see her shudder a few times and wanted to go to her, but thought she might just need some space.

'Charlie, can we come in,' Harry's voice came from the front room.

'Course you can,' Charlie said not looking away from Katie.

Harry and Ginny walked up to Charlie and saw what he was looking at.

'How is she Charlie?' Ginny said putting a hand on her brother's shoulder.

'Having a hard time, she's suffering from some bad nightmares and she doesn't talk, she just sits staring into space.' Charlie looked at Ginny and pulled her into a hug. 'I want to thank you for what you told Katie, after you left the other day, Katie showed me her scars. She wanted to leave the decision if I wanted her up to me after I saw them. I kissed them Ginny, and she told me that you said I would. It helped, it really helped.' Charlie held his sister for a long time.

'I'm glad, I'd do anything to help, you know that.' she gave her brother a kiss on the cheek. 'Charlie, has she talked to you though, about…about sex. She's worried about that, about thinking you will want to and she's also scared she can't.'

'Yeah, she told me she was scared about it, but I told her it didn't matter, as long as I have her that's all that matters. I just wish she would talk more to me, she just sits for hours at a time. I've tried to get her to go out, even just a walk, or over to your place, but she won't leave.'

'Give her time Charlie, she will, but she needs to feel safe and secure as she does here.' Harry said.

'Harry do you think some dreamless sleep potion might help her nightmares, there bad Harry, really bad.' Charlie shuddered as he thought about Katie's nightmares.

'Here, I brought some with me just in case. But Charlie, do you think I should talk to her, you know I've suffered from nightmares all my life, do you think it will help if I tell her what I go through and how Ginny helps me.'

'Maybe Harry, you could try at least, nothing else is helping at the moment.' Charlie said.

'Alright, I'll be back in a moment,' he walked out the door towards Katie. Charlie and Ginny watched as Harry walked slowly then stopped a few feet away. 'Katie, can I come and talk to you?' he waited, not wanting to scare her.

'Sure Harry,' Katie said, she glanced at him then looked away again.

'Charlie has told me about your nightmares and I wanted to tell you something,' he didn't want to push her, she had to decide.

'Okay.'

'Do you know that I've suffered from some very severe nightmares since I was a kid, they have gotten worse since the battle. I scream out and thrash about in bed, I even accidentally hit Ginny once while I was thrashing about,' he could see Katie really listening to him. 'I haven't had one now for a few months, do you know what helps?'

'No, what?' she looked hopefully at him.

'Ginny, I tell Ginny exactly what my nightmares are about and she holds me, that's all. That's what you need to do Katie, you need to tell Charlie what your nightmares are about and let him either just hold you or even talk to you. Don't bottle it up and keep it to yourself, it will only make them worse.'

'It's not just my nightmares, it…' she looked down not continuing.

'Tell me, I just might be able to help, I've gone through a lot in my life for someone my age, so you can talk to me.' Harry said softly and put a hand very gently on her arm.

'You know what he did, how can I make love again, all I'll think about is him and not Charlie. I don't want to hurt Charlie if I get scared and I push him away.'

Harry looked at Katie and thought, he decided to tell her about him and Ginny. 'Katie, there's something you don't know about me, now it might shock you to hear it, but please let me finish.' he waited for her to decide if she wanted to hear it. She nodded. 'After the battle, I had a few memory problems, I didn't remember anything until I woke up at my parent's house. Not how I got there, not what I had done before that, except for the fight with Voldemort. I went to Fred's funeral and Ginny found me and took me to the Burrow. Anyway, I was in a bad way, but thanks to Fawkes I got better, Ginny and I were happy and together, as you know we got married. I never made love to Ginny until the wedding night or so I thought, you see we both wanted to wait. We were happy, starting at Hogwarts, everything was wonderful. Then one day Minerva asked me to speak with Albus Dumbledore's portrait. When I was talking to him, a few things came back to me, he told me about visiting him after the battle, I started to remember, just flashes of things came to me. When I left the office more images came to me, as I was walking I found myself outside the room of requirement, I went in and the worse memory I could ever had hit me.' Harry took a deep breath and tears had stared to flow down his face.

'It's alright, you don't have to go on.' Katie said.

'No, I need to,' he took a deep breath, 'The memory was of me in the room of requirement after the battle, I thought I was evil and needed to get away from everyone, that's when Ginny found me. When she came in, something came over me I did something that I can never forgive myself for or forget. Ginny has forgiven me and wants me to forget, but I never can, she loves me even after what I did to her.' Harry saw the puzzled look on her face. 'Katie, I raped Ginny that night and I feel sick thinking about it and I will never forgive myself, but Ginny has and she makes love to me Katie, even after what I did. You need to trust yourself and trust Charlie, you need tell him what you're scared of and that you don't want to hurt him if you pull away. He will understand because he loves you, Ginny has taught me that. Once Ginny knew why I did what I did, she came to trust me again. Charlie loves you Katie, talk to him about your fears.' he sat there with his head down, still with tears flowing down his face.

Katie looked at Harry, at first shocked at what Harry had done, but she had seen them together and Ginny does love Harry even after that. Katie got up on her knees and went over to be right in front of Harry. She put her arms around him hugging him tightly.

Charlie and Ginny stood there watching Harry and Katie talking. When Katie hugged Harry, Charlie's mouth fell open. 'What did he say to her Ginny?'

'I don't know Charlie, but when it comes to Harry, nothing surprises me anymore.' she smiled watching her husband knowing whatever he said, might just have been what Katie needed to hear.

Katie let go of Harry and looked at him, he still had tears flowing down his face. 'Harry, what you just told me did shock me, but I see the way you are with Ginny, the way you want to protect her and would never hurt her and I know you love her Harry, I see how much she loves you, and if she can forgive you for what you did then I think one day I can be with Charlie again, you've given me hope that we can get through this. Thank you Harry, I know that wasn't easy, but thank you.' she hugged him again, holding him for a long time.

When she let go of Harry, he looked at her. 'Thanks for understanding Katie and I would never hurt Ginny ever again, but I just thought you should know how Ginny could make love to me again and I think that's why she wanted to wait until we got married. She needed time Katie and you need time, probably more time than Ginny, but you need to take the time to heal your mind as well as your body and if you talk to Charlie, he will understand, no matter how much time you need and when the time comes, you'll know Katie. Trust your instincts on that.'

'I will Harry, I want to be with Charlie, very much, but what you said, yes, I do need time.' she gave him and smile. She looked up and saw Charlie and Ginny watching them through the window. She smiled and waved them to come out.

Charlie and Ginny looked at Katie waving for them and they walked out the door, they saw she was smiling and looking more like her old self. Ginny went over and sat with Harry and noticed that he'd been crying, his eyes were all red and puffy. He shook his head, sending his feelings of love to her.

Charlie sat down near Katie but still giving her some space, Katie went to him and threw her arms around him knocking him back on the ground until she was lying on top of him.

'I love you Charlie,' and then she kissed him passionately, when she finished she got up off of him and sat up.

Charlie looked stunned as he sat up looking at Katie, then he looked at Harry and knew whatever he had said had been hard on him. He gave Harry a smile then looked back at Katie.

'You alright Katie?' he asked.

'I'm good Charlie, really. Harry's made me understand some things and it helped, we'll talk about it later alright.' she leaned into him again and kissed him tenderly.

'Anything you want,' Charlie pulled her into his arms holding her tightly.

When he released her, Katie looked up at him. 'What I need right now is a private word with Ginny,' she looked over at her sister-in-law. 'Ginny could you come inside for a moment,' Ginny nodded and Katie looked back at Charlie. 'I won't be long.' she kissed him again and stood up.

Charlie watched Katie and Ginny walk away towards the house then he turned back to Harry. 'I don't know what you said to her Harry, but she's completely different, more like her old self. Thank you, I just can't seem to thank you enough. You brought her back to me and healed her now you've given Katie her confidence and spark back.'

'Katie was worried about how you might react if you were to make love and she pulled away from you, because of what happened, she didn't want to hurt you. She thought you might think it was you that caused her to stop. She's still going to need some time and when that time comes Charlie, be very gentle and let her make the moves, once she's comfortable, you'll know and everything will work out. I told Katie about what I did to Ginny, in the room of requirement after the battle and how Ginny forgave me, even if I'll never forgive myself and how I thought that's why Ginny wanted to wait until the wedding night, because she needed time, she loved me but needed to make sure herself that even though she loved me was it going to be enough.'

Charlie knew that it wouldn't have been easy for Harry to bring that up again and he was thankful to him for doing that for Katie. Harry had turned out to be a very wise man for someone so young, but when you looked at Harry and heard him talk, you just can't think of him as young.

'I know that was hard on you Harry, bringing that up again, but I'm grateful, more than grateful.'

'I did what I had to, to help. You know me, I have to help whenever I can, no matter how uncomfortable it is for me or hurtful.'

'Yeah, I know you Harry, you will do or say anything to help the people you care about, even die for us.' Charlie shook his head. 'I don't know how you can sometimes, after everything you've gone through your whole life, you still care. How do you it, how can you love so fully after all that.'

'Well, something Dumbledore said to me once, I never thought it was important but it turned out to be the most important thing he could have taught me. He said even though I was powerful, that wasn't my greatest power. My greatest power was love, that I had more love in me than anyone he'd ever known. I never fully understood how love could be so powerful, until I met Ginny, know I do.' he looked towards the house and sending his love to Ginny and felt her send it back to him and he smiled. 'I love her so much Charlie.'

'I know you do Harry, I can see it every time you look at her.' he stood up and leaned against the tree. 'Harry do you think Katie will really be alright, I know she's seems fine at the moment, but after what she has been through, how can she get past that?'

'With time and love, Dumbledore once said that love is the most powerful magic in the world and I've come to believe that. When you give your love to Katie fully, she will heal and she will be her old self all the time, but she will still have her moments. Just be there for her Charlie, that's all you can do.'

'You know Harry, you are a very wise man, you sound so much like Dumbledore sometimes when you talk and so much like him.' and as he said this he knew that Harry will be another Dumbledore as he ages, wise, caring and powerful.

'There were times when I was so angry at him for leaving me in the dark about bits of my life, but when he explained thing to me in a way I could understand, I came to realise that he did those things to help me because he loved me and I'm honoured you'd think of me to be like him.'

'Ginny, I'm not ready to leave this house at the moment, I don't know when I will be. I feel safe here, but I was wondering if you could do me a favour?'

'You know I will Katie.'

'When we went shopping some of the things you showed me were exactly what I liked and I was wondering if you might go and pick some of those things up for me, linen and things. We really need to get this house in order, I would ask Charlie but I don't want to be by myself just yet.'

'Of course I will, if you write me a list of the things you want, Harry and I can go, get whatever you want.'

Katie hugged Ginny, 'Thank you, I just think if we can make this house more of a home, I might start to feel more at home with Charlie. We've only been married two weeks and with everything, we really haven't had time to decide on a lot of things.'

'Not a problem, but I'm guessing there's something else you wanted to talk to me about, you could have ask me this outside.' she looked at her shrewdly.

'Yeah there is, I'm not sure if it will be today or next week, but I wanted your advice. I want to try and see if I can have Charlie touch me without flinching away, I mean I can hold him and even kiss him but to actually touch him, I'm just not sure how I will react and I don't want to make him uncomfortable.'

'When you're ready Katie, tell him what you want to do, he will understand and he won't mind being a bit uncomfortable if you can't, he can always take a cold shower,' she giggled, but then got serious again. 'But you need to tell him, keep your robe on if you feel better and put his hand where you want to and see what happens, even if you can handle his touch it still might take time to go further.'

'Thanks, I appreciate that and I will talk to him about it, and Ginny, you were right, when I showed Charlie my scars, he kissed them.' tears had come to Katie's eyes and Ginny put her arms around her. 'That was all it took and I realised he will love me no matter what my body looks like.'

'I told you Katie, I know my brother and I don't know if you've noticed, but Harry and Charlie are a lot alike, so I knew that was what Harry would do if I had scars and I knew Charlie would be just the same.'

She nodded, 'Yeah I know they are, it's uncanny sometimes how much alike they are, but anyway, I need the bathroom, go out and tell Charlie I'll be there in a bit.' she hugged Ginny again and went up the stairs.

Ginny stood up and walked outside heading for her husband and brother. When she got there she threw her arms around Harry.

'I don't know what you said to her Harry, but you're amazing you really are.' she kissed him passionately and was still kissing him when Katie joined them.

'Do you think they are going to stop any time soon?' Charlie asked looking at his wife.

'Not by the look of it,' Katie said laughing and she cuddled into Charlie.

'Alright, alright,' Harry said as he turned to his friends. 'We're finished, at least for now.'

'Harry, you and I are going shopping, so let's leave these two alone,' Ginny said but Harry looked puzzled. 'I'll tell you later.'

Katie handed Ginny a slip or parchment, 'Thanks Ginny, we'll see you later.' she smiled at them.

Harry and Ginny walked off and Charlie turned to Katie. 'What are you up to Katie?'

'I ask Ginny if she would pick up some things for the house, I'm not ready to go out yet Charlie and I don't want you to leave me either, so I thought I could ask Ginny. You don't mind do you?'

'Of course not and I won't leave you alone, not until you think you're ready.'

'Let's lay back down on the blanket, it's so nice out here Charlie.' he nodded and he leaned against the tree and Katie sat between his legs and put her head on his chest. 'I love you Charlie,'

'I love you too Katie, are you alright, I can feel your body tremble, it's only slight but I can feel it.'

'I'm fine, I'm just thinking and I want to try something, Ginny said I should talk to you first.'

'You can say anything to me, but just remember, I'll always be here.' Charlie kissed the top of her head.

'I know, but at least for now I can tell you what I want to do and let you decide.'

'Alright, go on, what do you want to tell me?' he held her tighter letting her know that nothing matters as long as they were together.

'I want to try and let you touch me, but I'm worried that if I can't that you're going to be uncomfortable,' she smiled. 'Ginny told me that you could always take a cold shower. But I'm serious Charlie, I don't want you to feel that and not be able to get satisfied.'

'Katie, you don't need to worry about me, you've gotten me turned on so many times and we couldn't do anything and I survived and I know if you're not ready and you pull away, I will understand. Please don't worry about that and you can take time, you need time Katie. There's no rush to get back to that, as long as we're together and you're safe, that's all that matters to me baby.' Charlie pulled Katie back to him and kissed her tenderly.

Katie could feel his love for her through his kiss and his touches and that made her decision for her. She pulled back slightly, looking him straight into his eyes, she undid a couple of buttons of her top. She took Charlie's hand and placed it on her breast, she closed her eyes feeling his hand on her and she knew Charlie didn't want to caress her because it might frighten her, but she knew now she could do this. She put her hand over his and squeezed it, then opened her eyes and looked at him. She could see the worried look on his face and she knew he didn't want to hurt her. She undid the rest of her buttons and undid her bra, taking them both off, then put his hand back over her watching his face.

Charlie watched her face, wondering if he should caress her, she looked at him with love as he held her breast. He moved his hand very slowly and gently, running his thumb over her nipple until it peaked. Katie lifted herself up and sat straddling him and took his other hand putting it on her other breasts. He started to caress the other one and he desperately wanted to put his mouth on her, but thought that might be going too far.

She knew what Charlie wanted, she couldn't say how she knew, she just knew. She kneeled up until her breasts were right in front of him and slowly moved closer to his face. He looked up into her eyes, then lowered his mouth to her, he licked and sucked very gently until he could feel her getting excited. He sucked a little harder then moved to her other one. He moved slightly and lay down bring Katie with him so she was laying on top of him.

'Oh Charlie,' she moaned at the feelings he was enticing within her. 'I want you, I want you now.'

Charlie pulled his face away from her looking into her eyes. 'I don't want to rush you, you can take as long as you want.'

'I know, but I can feel it, I know this is what I want. I know it's going to be a little uncomfortable at first, but I want you to make love to me Charlie, now.' she leaned forward and kissed him fiercely.

Charlie kissed her then pulled away and stood up, he picked Katie up and walked into the house and upstairs to their bedroom. He stood her next to the bed and kissed her again, before slowly touching her breasts again but kept looking into her eyes.

She reached for him and undid his jeans and went to pull them down. Charlie put his hands over hers, 'Are you sure Katie, I want you to be really positive you want this.'

'I do, and I'm positive, please make love to me.' Katie said and started to push his jeans down again when Charlie let go of her hands.

Charlie reached his hands down and unzipped her jeans watching her face for any sign of uncertainty, he saw none, so he pushed them down then knelt in front of her pulling them off, then finished taking his off.

She was standing there completely naked and she smiled at him. 'God your beautiful Katie,' she took his hand and led him onto the bed and she lay down pulling Charlie to her.

'Love me Charlie,' and she kissed him hungrily.

Charlie still wasn't sure but he slowly moved his hands over her body and she didn't flinch once, so he kept going further down just to see if Katie was going to let him go all the way. She never moved from kissing him and when he put his hand over her, he felt how wet and hot she was. He looked into her eyes and saw no hesitation just wanting. He carefully inserted a finger, she felt tight and he saw her squeeze her eyes closed wincing a little.

'You're not ready Katie, I knew it was too soon.' he went to move his hand but she stopped him.

'I told you it will be uncomfortable at first Charlie, with what the healers said, there was a lot of damage but I want this, please. It might hurt a bit but I don't want that to stop us.'

He looked at her, 'Alright, but if it gets too much, tell me Katie, I don't want to hurt you, will you promise to tell me if it hurts too much.' he watched her and waited, he knew that it hurt girls the first time they had sex, he had a few himself but Katie had been injured and didn't know how that will affect her.

'Alright Charlie, I promise, now please go back to what you were doing,' she pulled his head back and kissed him again.

Charlie moved his finger very slowly and gently and felt her body tense but after a few seconds it relaxed, so he played a bit to make sure she could take him when he entered her. She started to moan and writhe under his finger and couldn't control her body.

'Now Charlie, please,' she screamed at him. 'now,' he moved over her and entered her very slowly so not to hurt her too much, but she wasn't going to let him move to slow. She grabbed his backside, pulling it towards her hard. 'I want you,' she breathed heavily.

He started to move within her still watching her face but she was fully into it and nothing else, so he moved faster and harder never taking his eyes away. She clutched him hungrily until her moans grew louder and closer together, they came together and she hugged him tightly until her body relaxed.

'Are you alright Katie,' Charlie said as he took his weight off of her and lay beside her.

'I'm fine Charlie, once you started it was fine, please don't worry, I'm just glad I could.' she leaned over to him and kissed him tenderly. 'We're going to be alright, I know we will.

'Merlin, I love you Mrs. Weasley.' he pulled Katie into his arms and held her. He pulled the blanket over them and not long after they fell asleep.

Harry and Ginny arrived back at Katie and Charlie's house, they had shrunk all the stuff they bought for them and walked inside. They couldn't see either of them anywhere.

'Do you think their upstairs Harry?'

'I'd say they are, let's get everything to the right size and leave them to it.' they pulled everything out of the bags and Harry waved his hand making the dining room table and chairs full size and floated them to the kitchen. They got everything in place and walked back outside to apparate home.

They arrived back at their place and walked inside, Harry grabbed Ginny around the waist and pulled her towards the couch. Harry kissed her fiercely and Ginny climbed up onto his lap straddling him. He held her tightly against him and she could feel his arousal. She leaned into him and kissed him hungrily as her hands moved all over his body. Harry did the same back touching as much of Ginny as he could, running his hands under her top and started to fondle. She moaned loudly as she still kissed him and she started to pull his shirt up.

Harry was breathing heavily, 'Let's go upstairs Gin,' she nodded and hopped off of him and took his hand and they both bolted up the stairs and into their bedroom.

They both had enjoyable afternoon making love, eating, showering and making love again, until they both fell asleep in each other's arms.

It was the weekend and Harry and Ginny were lying in bed after making love, when Kreacher appeared at the door. 'Master Harry, Mr. Ron and Mrs. Hermione are here, do you want me to send them away or would you like to come down and see them.'

'Tell them we'll be right down Kreacher,' the elf bowed and left the room. Harry turned and looked at Ginny, 'I forgot they were coming over today, I really don't want to get up.'

'I know Harry, but we have to, but just remember we can come back here when their gone.' she smiled at him and then kissed him fiercely, and before she could stop herself she started kissing down his body.

'Oh god Gin,' Harry breathed heavily, moaning loudly.

Ginny moved her mouth over his erection, sucking hard, then licking up the sides. 'Harry, we forgot our potion again, but I can't wait.' Ginny said and sat on top Harry, lowering herself onto him.

'I want you now,' Harry groaned loudly, as Ginny moved. They were both groaning and calling each other's names loudly until they were both satisfied. When Harry's breathing went back to normal, he reached over and grabbed the potion and took a swig, handing it to Ginny. 'We have to remember that.'

'Yeah we do, come on Harry, get yourself dressed, I'll go down and see them.' Ginny got dressed quickly and went down stairs.

'Alright, I'll be right there,' Harry called after her. Harry stretched and got out of bed. He got dressed and walked down the stairs not bothering with any shoes and his hair was a mess, more than normal. He saw Ron and Hermione sitting with Ginny in the sitting room. 'Hi you two,' Harry went over and Hermione stood up and hugged Harry, and Ron shook his hands. 'How have you two been?' Harry said as he sat down next to Ginny, taking her hands in his and leaned back pulling her with him.

'We're good Harry, I hope we didn't disturb you?' Hermione smirked knowing they had as they heard them.

'No it's fine Hermione, we forgot out potion again, that's all. I'm glad you're here, we don't get to spend as much time with each other anymore.'

'No we don't, with everything we're all doing, it's a wonder we do get to see each other,' Ron said. 'How's Charlie and Katie, we've all wanted to visit, but thought they could use some time alone.'

'Their doing okay, Katie still doesn't want to leave the house but she's coping with Charlie's help.' Harry said.

'I'm glad, they only just got married and they really haven't had any time to themselves really.' Hermione said.

'What have you two been up too apart from working?' Ginny looked over at her brother and sister-in-law.

'Mainly working, but the shops doing a roaring trade but it keeps me busy, and Hermione of course at Hogwarts and you know what that gets like.'

'Yeah we do,' Harry could see the hesitation on Hermione face and knew she wanted to say something. 'Hermione, what's up, I can see something's going on.'

'It's nothing Harry really, have you spoke with Kingsley in the last couple of days?'

'No, not since Katie was in St Mungo's, we've been over their place a lot, then did some shopping for Katie yesterday, so if he called I might have missed him.'

Just then the fire turned green and Kingsley stepped out. 'Harry, Ginny, Ron, Hermione, good to see you all.' Kingsley walked over and shook everyone's hands and kissed the two ladies on the cheeks and sat down in the arm chair.

'Kingsley, it's good to see you, but from what Hermione just said and you turning up I guess this isn't strictly a social visit.' Harry said watching his old friend.

'No, it's not, even though I do like to just visit, but this time is different. Could we talk privately for a moment Harry?'

'Sure, we'll go into the library,' he leaned over Ginny and kissed her. 'I'll be right back.

Harry got up and walked with Kingsley into the library. Harry closed the door and turned to him. 'Okay Kingsley's what's up?'

'Do you know what day next Wednesday is Harry?'

Harry thought for a moment, but he couldn't think of anything. 'No, why, what day is it?'

'It's been a year on Wednesday Harry,' he waited, then said. 'Since the battle of Hogwarts.'

'Oh,' was all Harry said and he walked over and leaned against his desk with his legs out and arms folded and waited for Kingsley to say what he came to say.

'We've built a memorial at Hogwarts to sit on the grounds with everyone's names that lost their lives on it,' he waited again, but Harry didn't give him anything. 'I was hoping you'd be there Harry.'

As soon as he said it had been a year he thought something like this was coming. 'Why do you want me there?'

'You won the battle for everyone Harry, you finished off Voldemort. It's you that everyone still wants to thank even though you don't want their thanks. I really would like you to be there, please Harry.'

'I don't know Kingsley, you know I'd do anything for you, but remembering that day is still hard on me, I still feel responsible for how many died.' Harry said looking down.

'I know you do, it's been a year and everyone is starting to move on, so what we're planning is a celebration as well.' he saw Harry's puzzled look. 'Let me explain, we are going to have a small naming of everyone who died outside in the ground, with, I was hoping you doing that song you played that day for me in your shed, then for everyone that's been invited, is going to stay for a celebration party inside Hogwarts and again, I was hoping you'd sing. I think it's time for a celebration now Harry, everyone's had a year to mourn now it's time to move on and live their lives and you helped bring that about.'

'Can you let me think about it Kingsley, I'll let you know tomorrow.' he understood what Kingsley was saying and knew everyone was starting to move forward, he just wasn't sure.

'That's fine Harry, I hope you do but if you don't, I do understand. When I spoke with Minerva about this she said you might be hesitant to be back there, even if you did go to speak with Poppy about Katie, but to have the memorial and celebration means spending the whole afternoon and night there.' he watched Harry for a moment, 'I'll let you think about it Harry, I have to get back to the ministry to finish the final preparations, floo me anytime.' he walked over and put his hand on Harry's shoulder. 'It's time for you to move on too Harry.'

Harry nodded and Kingsley walked out of the room, he stayed leaning against the desk with his head down, thinking when the other three walked in.

Ginny walked over to him and put her arms around him, she had sensed his sadness and his anxiety when he had been speaking to Kingsley.

'What did he want, you know I sensed your feelings.'

'It's a year on Wednesday since the battle, and their having a memorial and celebration at Hogwarts. Kingsley wants me there, but I just don't know if I can.' he pulled Ginny tighter to him and held her. 'There's just too many bad memories there now, and this will just bring a lot of them back and then there's you Gin. You said last week you couldn't go with me to see Poppy, and I understand why you can't go back, I won't do this without you beside me, I couldn't.' Harry's voice had started to choke up.

'When does he need to know?'

'Tomorrow, I said I'd think about it, but that's all. He also wants me to sing you'll never walk alone while I'm there for the memorial and also sing at the celebration later in the great hall. I'd do anything for Kingsley, but I just don't know if I can do this. I went there to help Katie, but to go there to remember.' he couldn't finish.

Hermione had walked over and stood near the pair of them, 'Harry, this might just be what you need to move past this, first remembering everyone that lost their lives, then celebrating that the rest of us came through and can live our lives, isn't that why you fought, so everyone could live.'

'She's right Harry, maybe it's time.' Ron said. 'We can all put that part of our lives behind us and move on, I will always grieve for Fred, but he wouldn't want any of us to not live.

'I just don't know, I'll think about it, but for now let's just go have some lunch, alright.' Harry said and he took Ginny's hand and they all walked out of the library.

'Anyone home,' Charlie's voice called.

They all looked around and saw Charlie and Katie, both of them smiling. 'Hey, this is a surprise,' Harry said and went and hugged Katie and whispered in her ear. 'Are you okay Katie?' she nodded and kissed his cheek.

'Thanks to you and Ginny, I'm fine.' she smiled at Harry then Ginny. 'Hi Ron, Hermione.'

'Hi, Katie,' they both said.

Charlie gave Hermione a hug and shook his brother's hand. 'How you been Ron, haven't see you in a while?'

'I'm good Charlie, working hard but enjoying it, how about you, you doing okay now?'

Charlie pulled Katie closer to him. 'Yeah, we're both fine.'

'Well, since you're here let's all eat lunch outside, it's such a nice day.' said Ginny and led everyone outside.

Everyone had a great time catching up and remembering some of the things Harry, Ron and Hermione had gotten up to at Hogwarts. Charlie noticed that Harry was distracted and decided to have a word with him.

He leaned over and whispered to Katie, 'I want to talk to Harry, will you be okay until I get back.' she nodded and kissed his cheek. Charlie turned to Harry, 'Harry mate, can I talk to you a moment.'

'Sure Charlie, let's go inside for a moment. 'I'll be back,' he leaned over Ginny and kissed her passionately and for a long time.

'I meant today Harry,' Charlie said smiling around at everyone.

'Alright, I'm coming,' he got up and they walked into the house and sitting at the table. 'What's up Charlie?'

'You, Harry, you seem distracted, what's going on?'

'Kingsley paid me a visit a while ago, he wants me to go to the memorial on Wednesday and the celebration after it.'

Charlie thought for a moment and knew why Harry didn't want to go. 'Harry you should do it, it's time mate.'

'Time for what?' Harry asked in surprise.

'To move on, you are never going to get on with your life properly until you can put all that behind you, and Ginny as well. If you both go and you can remember why you always loved the place. I know you have both had some bad times there, but it's not Hogwarts Harry, it's was people that caused all the pain for you and Ginny. That's part of your problem Harry, and it always will be until you can face it and put it behind you once and for all.'

Harry stood and started pacing, Charlie's words penetrating his mind. 'There's just so many bad memory's Charlie, I just don't know if I can, and I know Ginny won't, she told me when I went to see Poppy to learn some healing spells to help Katie. And what about Katie, I only play with the Phoenix Flames, and I don't think she's ready for that, do you Charlie. I just can't, and what if it starts me drinking again,' he said and walked back outside, 'I don't want to go through that again,' he yelled as he made his way to the others with Charlie following him and sat down.

'Harry you need to do this, and we'll all be there to help you through it,' Charlie said looking at him, everyone looking at Charlie then Harry. 'It's the only way Harry, look at how you're feeling now. You will always feel this way until you go there and put it behind you.' Harry never bothered sitting down but he did start pacing again.

'What's going on Charlie,' Katie asked.

'Kingsley wants Harry to go to the memorial on Wednesday and also wants him to sing. Harry thinks he can't go back to Hogwarts because of all the bad things that has happened and because it might make him start drinking again, but I think him and Ginny should both go. It's the only way they can really put everything behind them and get on with their lives.'

Everyone could hear the frustration in Charlie's voice. Ginny got up and walked over to Harry, she took his Harry's hand and led him off down towards the water. She stopped and turned Harry to face her.

'I think Charlie's right Harry,' he looked at her in surprise. 'I know I said I couldn't go back but I've had time to think about it, and it's not Hogwarts that I've been afraid of, it was her and then I remembered she's not there anymore, just the same as you Harry. There's no Voldemort, no death eaters, no horcruxes, no nothing, it's just a school Harry. A school we always loved to be at and I really think we should go.

Harry pulled Ginny into his arms and held her tightly. 'Are you sure gin, I don't want you to be hurt with the pain of remembering.'

'I know, but I think it's time and the sooner we go the sooner we can really move on.' she pulled slightly back from him and saw his tears. 'I'll be alright Harry,' she wiped away his tears and kissed each eye before his lips. 'I will always remember, I can't stop that, but I can get past it, with your love I can get past anything.'

'Alright, we'll go, but I just said to Charlie, I always perform with the Phoenix Flames and I don't think Katie's up to that, do you?'

'All we can do is ask her Harry, maybe you can play with the rest of them if she can't, what do you say, are we going?'

'Yeah, I'll speak with Katie, and if she won't, I'll work it out with the others and see how it goes. Come on, let's head back up to the others.'

They put their arms around each other and made their way back up to the others, as soon as they came into view everyone knew that Harry was alright.

Ginny sat down but Harry stayed standing, 'Alright, I'm going to do it, but…'

Katie got up and walked over to Harry, 'I'm going to go to Harry, I want to.'

Harry smiled hugely at Katie and pulled her into a hug, 'That's great Katie, but are you sure you're ready for that?'

'I'm sure, and Charlie and the boys will be there, along with the family, I have to keep remembering that I'm part of a large family now.'

Harry gave her another hug and kissed her cheek. 'You're the best Katie, thanks.' he let her go and sat down next to Ginny. 'Well that's sorted then, now I just need to tell Kingsley.'

Everyone saw that Harry still looked hesitant and a little afraid, but they didn't say anything. Once Harry says yes to something, he'll follow through with it. They all stayed until later in the day having too good a time with their family around them. When Ron, Hermione Charlie and Katie had left, Harry flooed Kingsley and told him he'd been there with the Phoenix Flames. He was thrilled and explained to Harry how it would go, but what Kingsley didn't tell him, was about the awards he would be handing out before Harry sings.

Harry took a shower still feeling anxious about the memorial, all the bad things that had happened to him had happened at Hogwarts. He tried to shake the thoughts from his head, but they kept intruding on him when he least suspected it. He got into bed and pulled Ginny to him holding her tightly and fell asleep with imagines going through his mind.

The next couple of days, Liam, John, Patrick, Katie and Charlie had stayed over so they could rehearse. Katie was still a little scared about going anywhere apart from Harry's place but she seemed to be coping.

Wednesday morning arrived and Harry was still asleep and Ginny was watching him while he slept. He had a couple of bad dreams the last couple of nights, but nothing like what he use to have and knew he was still anxious about going to Hogwarts again. She decided to cuddle back into him until he woke up, trying to reassure him that everything will be okay and work out.

Harry started to stir and he felt Ginny's body pressed up again him, he pulled her on top of him and started to kiss her fiercely and hungrily, wanting her desperately. She responded knowing what he wanted and needed. Harry wasn't as gentle as he normally would have been and he couldn't work out where it was coming from as he forced himself into her, moving with her until they both came. He panted for a bit until he settled.

'Sorry about that Gin, I don't know what came over me.' Harry said and he kissed her gently.

'It's fine Harry, I know you're anxious, I could feel what you needed, so I was happy to accommodate you.'

'I know you could, but I could also feel your confusion, are you alright, I didn't hurt you did I?'

'No Harry, I think my body can take all of you without it hurting by now. So let's just forget it and have a shower, we've got a big day.' she kissed him again and got out of bed and headed for the shower.

Harry lay there thinking, he knew he loved Ginny with all his heart and he also knew what prompted him to act that way and he needed to get those thoughts out of his head, especially today. He got up and stretched and walked into the bathroom and watched Ginny shower feeling himself getting aroused again.

Ginny stuck her head out as soon as she felt what Harry was feeling, 'You could come in you know.'

'I better not, maybe later.' he gave her a nice smile before she stuck her head back in and finished showering. He waited until she finished and hoped in the shower after her, letting the water flow down his body. He finished and stepped out, drying himself off and walked back into the bedroom. Ginny must have gone down stairs. He got dressed in his dragon hide gear, these one's were dark blue and put the robes he would be wearing until later over the top and went down stairs.

Ginny was sitting at the table with Charlie and Katie. He walked in a poured himself some coffee then sat down.

'Everyone ready for today?' he asked trying to keep his voice casual. He saw out of the corner of his eye Ginny watching him but he ignored her.

'Yeah, we're ready Harry, how are you and Ginny feeling?' Charlie said seeing the look Ginny gave Harry.

'Yeah, I'm okay,' he turned to Ginny. 'How about you sweetheart, you okay?'

'Yeah, I'm good actually, I thought I'd be more nervous but I'm not.' she smiled at Harry, sending her love to Harry, she knew there was something on Harry's mind but he was trying act normally.

'Well I think we should head off don't you, Kingsley asked me to speak with people before the ceremony starts.

They all nodded and walked outside and apparated to the gates of Hogwarts. Ginny took Harry's hand and started to walk up the long drive towards the black lake. As they got closer they could see people all over, they spotted the Weasley's straight away and went straight over to them. They all gave each other hugs and kisses and stood talking for a while. Harry left Ginny with her family and pulled Liam aside, he spoke to him quietly and he nodded then handed Harry something. Harry put it in his mouth, nodded at Liam and walked back to Ginny. Kingsley came over and spoke to them for a while, until he pulled Harry aside.

'Are you ready Harry, we're going to have the name reading then light the memorial as you start singing. Are you playing yourself while you sing?'

'No, Katie's going to play and do back up, so I can concentrate on not breaking down when I see some of the people faces after their family's names are read.' Harry said looking slightly nervous.

'It'll be alright Harry, you'll be fine, just watch Ginny, you said that always helped you before.'

'Yeah, I plan too,' Kingsley nodded to him and walked towards the front of the seats where the podium was set. Ginny walked over and took his hand and they went and sat down in the front row. The rest of the Weasley's were behind them apart from Ron and Hermione who sat next to Harry and Ginny.

Kingsley started to speak about loss then about moving on now the war was over. When he came to the last section he glanced at Harry and he nodded standing up and walking over to stand behind the piano next to Katie as she sat down at it. As soon as Kingsley lit the memorial, he looked to Harry and sat down himself.

Harry took a deep breath and nodded to Katie, and she started playing, then Harry starting singing and the whole crowd was stunned and mesmerized by him. When he finished there was complete silence and Harry stepped back to his seat sat down with Ginny and as he looked around he saw that most of the crowd had tears in their eyes.

Kingsley got back up and spoke for a few more minutes then, concluded it was over and that lunch was being served in the great hall in half an hour. Harry stood up but stayed where he was, knowing Kingsley wanted him to speak with people if they came up to him.

'Are you alright Harry, I could feel how upset you are,' Ginny said taking his hand.

'I'm fine Gin, you don't have to worry.' he smiled at her then looked around, seeing Dumbledore's tomb. 'Can you give me a minute,' she nodded knowing where Harry was looking. He walked away and towards the tomb, he stood next to it with his hand touching the top, with his head down.

'Is Harry alright Ginny?' Charlie asked as he saw the worried look on her face.

'Yeah, I think in times like these he misses Dumbledore and Sirius but he can't go anywhere to feel Sirius as there was no body to bury. He loved them both very much Charlie, he just needs a moment alone.

Ginny, Charlie and Katie all stood there watching Harry's back and knew he was crying, but they didn't want to disturb him. They all knew he needed to get this out and then he might finally get on with his life. When it looked like Harry was never going to come back and join them, Ginny turned to Charlie.

'Charlie, I've been sensing Harry's anxiety, confusion and pain for the last few days, but he pretends everything is alright, could you go down and talk to him, I don't want him to feel pressure from me, because I think he's trying to act alright for my benefit.'

'Sure Gin, why don't you go inside with Katie and the family and we'll meet you in there.' she nodded and walked off with Katie. Charlie made his way down to Harry, until he came up beside him. 'Are you alright Harry?'

'Yeah Charlie, I'm fine, I just wanted to speak with Dumbledore for a bit and I know Ginny asked you to come down, remember I can feel what she feeling.'

Charlie noticed Harry's voice got a bit hard when he said that last bit. Maybe their bond and feeling everything each other might be getting to Harry sometimes, he decided to leave it for now.

'Everyone's gone into the great hall to eat, why don't you come in as well. You should eat before the celebration concert later.'

'I'll be up soon, I just want a bit more time by myself. Go on Charlie, I'm fine.' he gave Charlie a small smile hoping he would leave him alone for a while.

'Alright Harry, I'll see you up there soon,' he put a hand on Harry's shoulder then walked away towards the castle.

As Harry watched everyone go inside he looked back at the tomb and wished he could speak with the real Dumbledore. 'I'm so confused Dumbledore, I don't know what to do. I love Ginny and don't ever want to hurt her but everything that's happened and now this, I wish you could tell me what to do. I could really use your advice right now before I screw up everything, again, and I just need something to get me through this, I hope you're not disappointed in me.' he put his other hand on the tomb, trying to feel something but he knew he wouldn't, he walked away from the tomb towards the castle, he could feel it starting to work. He walked in and saw everyone sitting down eating, he walked over and sat down next to Ginny, giving her a smile and sending his feelings to her that he was alright and just hoped she wouldn't pick up anything else.