Hello loyal readers! Yes, this is the final chapter of this particular story, and I have to say, if you're still reading this after the incredibly long break I took in the middle of posting it, then you deserve a round of applause. Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you've enjoyed it! Though this is the last chapter in this fic, I have a written and completed sequel, the prologue of which I will be posting after I post this. So the story is most definitely not over. Once again, thank you so much for reading and staying with me! You are all so amazing!
The Doctor and Rose stood in their embrace for a long while. Finally the Doctor felt Rose's body relax. He pulled away slightly, but still kept one of his arms around her waist, his hand resting on the small of her back. He cupped one of her cheeks, his thumb lightly drying her tears. "Are you alright?" he asked gently.
Rose nodded, sniffling. "Yeah. Think so." She granted him a small smile. "It's just . . . he was always so bitter about losing his memories, and now, to think that it was because of us. . . ."
"I know," he said, smiling back. "But if he hadn't lost his memories . . . we would both be dead, several times over."
She nodded again, wiping away her tears furiously. "Right. I know," she said forcibly. "Nothing we can do about it now."
After pause, the Doctor agreed, "Right. So. What do you want to do now?" he asked, eyeing her dreary eyes and exhausted expression. "You want to get some sleep?"
She seemed to consider it, but then remembered. "Doctor. . . ." she began uncertainly. "What about. . . ." She drifted off.
The Doctor nodded. "I know. I'm worried, too. But it can wait, if you need to get some rest."
Rose chewed on the inside of her cheek, deliberating. "No," she finally decided. "I want to know what's going on with me."
A few minutes later found the Doctor and Rose in the MedBay, Rose seated on an examination table, her legs hanging off the edge. She swung them lightly back and forth as the Doctor waved the sonic screwdriver around her. Finally he stopped, and eyed it, his brows furrowed. "Well, your vitals are perfectly normal. Nothing strange going on there. No damage to any organs, whether internal or external. There're no signs of disease. No broken bones, no odd lumps, no bruises, no scrapes. Not even a paper cut." He looked up at her, grinning. "You, Miss Tyler, are perfectly healthy."
"Well, that's good to know," she answered dryly. "If anything, I'll be saved from going to my check-up this year."
"Don't get smart with me, Rose Tyler," he said, turning his back to her to fiddle with something on the counter. "We both know it won't end well." He turned back to her, holding up a syringe, his expression now serious. "Are you sure you want to do this now? Because you know me: once I get started, I can't stop."
Rose grinned, her tongue poking out between her teeth playfully. "Oh, I know. I've got first-hand experience, haven't I?"
"Oi!" he shouted. Rose giggled as a pink tinge crept up the Doctor's face to his cheeks. "That's enough of that from you!"
"Right. Sorry." She fought to straighten her face, gazing up at the Doctor with serious eyes. "And for the thousandth time, yes, I'm sure. I couldn't sleep now anyway."
"Well, if you're sure," he said, studying her. "Let's get started then." He took Rose's arm and wiped her skin clean with an alcoholic wipe just below her elbow. "Just going to take a blood sample." He held the needle against her skin, then glanced up at her face. "Ready?" Rose nodded. "One, two, three."
There was a slight pain as he inserted the needle, but it was over more quickly than Rose would have thought. The Doctor pulled the needle out and swiftly pressed a thick gauze pad onto the small bead of blood that was welling up, then wrapped an elastic bandage around her arm to keep the gauze in place. He turned, placing a drop of her blood first onto a microscope slide, another into a test tube, and one more into a machine of some sort. The machine immediately began to whir, though Rose had no idea what exactly it was doing. The Doctor carefully set aside the vial of blood he'd collected, then dropped a clear solution into the test tube with the drop of Rose's blood. Setting that aside, he prepared the microscope slide and inserted it into place on the microscope, then leaned down, placing his eye against the lens.
Rose watched all this with fascination. She'd never seen the Doctor so . . . clinical before. He was never usually one for this kind of detached procedural behavior. "You really are a doctor, aren't you?" she asked curiously.
He sent her a withering glance before turning his attention back to the microscope. "We've been travelling together for two years, and you're just asking me this now?"
"Well, I don't know. You tell people to call you the Doctor, but you never explain anything. I still don't even know if that's really your name or just a title. There's so much that you don't say and I want to know. I want to know about your past, your other lives, your secrets. I want to know you."
He didn't say anything for a while. "You really want to know?"
"Yes," Rose answered without hesitating.
"I can't tell you everything. I've lived for over 900 years. It would take the rest of your lifespan and longer if I tried. There are things that I know, Rose, that should never be spoken. Things I've done that would terrify you. Break you. Destroy you, even. And there are things that I don't want anyone to know. Things that are so shameful that I hide them even from myself." He fell silent, his posture stiff. He was quiet for so long that Rose thought that was it, the end of the conversation. But then he straightened and turned to face her, leaning back against the counter. Rose watched him expectantly, her fingers clenched tightly together in her lap.
Finally, he spoke. "To start, yes, I'm actually a doctor. I'm certified on a number of planets. Well, 219 planets, to be exact," he added as an afterthought. "That includes Earth. I spent some time living on Earth in my third regeneration and had some time to spare."
"You lived on Earth? As in, stayed there for an extended period of time? You?" Rose asked skeptically.
"Well, it was more of an . . . exile, really."
"An exile? What for?"
"Time Lords had these laws about interfering on other planets. Meaning that . . . you can't." He shrugged. "And you know me. Not exactly one for following the rules. Plus, I stole the TARDIS." Rose chuckled and he grinned proudly at her. "But eventually I was pardoned and got my freedom back," he finished, just as a timer went off on the strange, whirring machine.
Rose's heart sank as the Doctor's face suddenly closed off. He turned to the machine, whose screen was quickly filling with the swirls of Gallifreyan writing. She sucked in a quick breath, ready to prompt him to continue, but hesitated. Asking again might only end up upsetting him. She knew he didn't like to talk about his past. And short as it was, that was one of the longest discussions they'd ever had about him. But there was just so much more she wanted to know. . . .
She took a deep breath and gently prompted, "And, what about your name. . . ?"
The Doctor paused his study of the blood analysis, glancing back at her. He turned his attention back to the screen before continuing detachedly, "It's both."
". . . .What d'you mean?"
"The Doctor. It's both my name, and my title. And at the same time, it's neither. It's like . . . a nickname. Like someone whose full name is Elizabeth, but goes by Beth instead. But then again . . . it's not like that at all."
Rose shook her head. "I'm not following you at all."
"It's difficult to explain. . . ." he said, his voice still detached as he scanned through the analysis results. "Time Lords are born with our true names etched into our minds, into our very DNA. But they are our greatest secrets. Even our parents and families are never told what our true names are. So they choose a name to call us until we enter the Academy. My parents chose Theta Sigma, a name that followed me into the Academy. Most children choose a different name when they enter, you see. But I had grown rather fond of that name, and I was used to it. Why change it?
"It isn't until we graduate from the Academy that we choose the names we will be called for the rest of our lives. We research possibilities for months until we finally decide. Some of us choose simple names. I had a friend who chose the name Drax. Some choose unique names, usually those of us with a sense of humor. I had a friend who travelled with me for a while who called herself Romanadvoratrelundar, Romana for short. And some of us choose titles we wish to embody, as I did."
The Doctor paused and turned back around to face Rose. "So, in essence, what I call myself both is my name and isn't. My true name is a secret that must not be told lightly. And in fact there is only one instance in which I would ever be even physically capable of telling it to someone, and then to only one person. Ever."
"And when is that?" Rose asked in a hushed voice.
The Doctor shook his head. "I can't tell you that either." He cocked his head slightly, a smile playing on his lips. "But who knows? Maybe that person will be you."
Rose collapsed on her bed, her arms spread wide over her head as she stretched and yawned. The Doctor had sent her away after his cryptic explanation, saying that she might as well go and get some rest. It was going to take him longer than he'd expected to work through the analysis.
She worked her way underneath her puffy comforter, curling up on her side. A smile curved onto her lips as she thought about how much she had learned about the Doctor in just that one small conversation. But there was so much more to learn. So much more she wanted to know. She hoped he would start opening up to her more after tonight.
Rose could feel joy oozing off the walls of the TARDIS, and she reached up to gently stroke the wall behind her headboard. "I'm glad to be back," she whispered. A happy hum rose up in the room and Rose giggled quietly. Obviously the TARDIS was glad she was back, as well.
She yawned again, snuggling into the soft covers. Her eyes fluttered closed as her consciousness became fuzzy. Rose smiled contentedly as she drifted into unconsciousness, her mind bathing in pools of warm, golden light.
In the morning, she would have to face whatever it was that was going on with her. But for now, she was indeed just happy to be back home once more.