A/N - Disclaimer - I don't own anything except plot line!:)

I'm baaaaack! Did you miss me? Probably not...

Anyway, thanks for all the reviews and favorites and everything while I was on holiday, it was great!:D

Although, I'm half assuming the smut scene was crap. I'm sorry! I really, truly am. I mean, I don't know if it was or not, because some liked it, but no one outright said it was bad, just reviews and alerts were down, so was it bad? Honestly, If it was, let me know! Then I can make it better!:)

This is not beta'd...my beta is MIA - It is spell checked and everything, but I just wanted to get this up fast today, so mistakes are my own.

Okay, I'm done rambling...hope you enjoy!:)

"Maura, I-I ..." Jane trailed off. Stunned was not the word. Jane stared at Maura, unsure of what to say. This wasn't how she planned this. She expected it, yes. It was a given that Maura would probably say something along those lines after that. Jane had just given herself to Maura, told her stories, her secrets, no Jane wasn't not surprised or stunned that Maura had said that she was, for lack of a better word, scared.

Jane didn't intend for her fight or flight to kick in, she wanted to stay, she wanted more than anything to wrap her arms around the now concerned looking blonde and tell her she loved her back. But she couldn't.

Before Jane could think anymore about it, she switched to auto pilot and did what she did best when things got too much for her.

She put on her clothes, and got the fuck out of there.

She did it a lot so it wasn't hard for her, or at least she didn't think it would be. She'd fucked a bunch of girls and walked away so many times it was becoming routine for her, like brushing her teeth. It never hurt her. She had done it more often than not when a girl go too handsy, or started asking questions. Just collect her jacket or shoes, out the door and get in her car, or a taxi. She had run from places before, her feet pounding the streets with her shoes falling off because the girl she was with struck a raw nerve.

It wasn't really the girls fault. The girl had been so close, Jane and the girl knew it, and just as the girl was about to come, she reached out and grabbed Jane's hand. Jane had tore her hand away from the girls grasp, seized all activity from her other hand before speedily pulling out. She grabbed her shoes from the front porch and slipped them on as she darted across the front lawn. That time, as she ran, when the girl came to the front porch and yelled out, Jane heard her and ignored her easily, her own pain too overwhelming.

So, when Jane fled from the room, pulling on pants and a jacket, she did not expect Maura's cries to cut so deeply.

"Jane!"

Jane didn't stop; she rapidly approached the front door now. She grabbed for the door handle, and swung it open, before slipping out.

Maura, in a stunned state had barely managed to comprehend what was happening by the time she heard the door open.

Everything was fine, they were making progress, and now Jane was running? She managed to get in one yell of Jane's name before hearing the door, and by the time she'd wrapped a robe around herself and gotten to the door Jane and her car were long gone.

She ran out to the street, holding onto that last shred of hope that Jane would come back. But when Maura was confronted with an empty street it took her a long time to stop staring. She knew she needed to go inside, to stop staring at the street. She wasn't even dressed properly! But for now, she stood in her robe, silently crying. Her attempts to stop the tears had been pointless; she knew they would come eventually. But now she cried at an empty road, begging and wishing with everything she had that Jane would come back.

Eventually, as the tears slowed, and more of her neighbours took their opportunities to gawk at her, she decided to give in.

She wanted nothing more than to stay here, because stood here, on the side of the street, she had hope. Hope that Jane would come back, she knew it was silly, to hold onto that little bit of hope, but right now the first person she'd ever truly loved had run from her, and she didn't know what to do.

Behind her, she heard a front door open, pulling her from her thoughts, back to a real conscious state. She quickly turned and ran to her house, shuddering as the warmth hit her. She didn't know how long she'd been out there, but the freezing temperatures had only just hit her.

She considered a shower, but the thought took her mind back to Jane, and the tears threatened again. So instead she wandered absent mindedly to her room, stopping when she reached the closed door.

She wanted to go put some clothes on, to get out of this robe. But to get clothes, it would mean opening the door, crossing the room. She would have to confront it all, the clothes on the floor, the sheets strewn across the bed, the smell of sex hanging in the air.

No, she wouldn't go to her closet. Instead she ignored every impulse to 'just get over it' and she padded down the hall to her guest room, settling on the guest bed.

She sat for while, trying to keep her thoughts from drifting to Jane, but she couldn't help it.

She reviewed the situation countless times. It made sense, she'd said she loved Jane, and Jane had fled.

I thought she loved me...God I'm so stupid! I can't believe I did that! But she told me her story? She let me touch her, to kiss her, to make her come. Why would she run now? Did I miss something? I probably missed something huge here. I don't recall her saying anything about love, so why would this affect her so much? Was it too soon? No, she wouldn't tell me all of that, and it be too soon. Right? Oh well, maybe she'll tell me. Well, if we ever talk that is. It took her weeks to even talk to me about sex; love is a whole other thing. A huge thing.

Wait.

What if she doesn't ever come back? No...she'll come back.

Maura tried to shake the thought.

But what if I really crossed a line this time?

Maura shook her head. She refused to allow her thoughts to continue anymore. She lay down on the bed, determined not to sleep, or think. She was just going to think about work, try and move past this.

But within the hour, Maura had curled up on her side, tears slipped silently down her face as she allowed herself to fall asleep.

Across town Jane was completely different.

After slipping out of the door she dashed to her car, stealing inside and driving off before she had chance to even consider going back.

It was wrong to run out, she knew it. But that didn't mean it wasn't what she needed to do.

This was too much for Jane, she knew Maura probably just got caught up in everything that Maura probably didn't love her, but it didn't stop it from scaring her.

No one told her they loved her, besides her family. And even then it wasn't often.

So now, if Maura had indeed fallen in love with her, she had to run.

Jane knew it would hurt Maura now, and it would probably hurt her too, but in the long run, wasn't that better?

Yes, she let Maura see her, hear her stories, but to allow another human to love her? That just couldn't happen.

She can't love me. No. She can't. She made it up, to make me feel better. She had to have. She can't love me, I'm not loveable, and no one ever loves me unless they have to! Why would anyone want to? I'm a mess; I'm messed up physically, emotionally, mentally! She can't have fallen in love with me. No, I'll give her a couple hours to think it over, and then we'll pretend it never happened?

She was a mess. She knew it, everyone knew it. Her conflicting opinions were bothering her, her reason for running conflicted with her denial. Her desire to continue the relationship was a heavy contrast with her flight response. She knew her reasoning made no sense to anyone but her, she knew her logic was flawed.

Hell, she didn't even have a real reason to run out of there; in her mind she basically concluded Maura had said it in the heat of things.

She spent the whole time rationalizing to herself as she drove to the store, picked up some beers and whisky and drove home. She persuaded herself as she poured her 3rd glass of whisky. And she tried her best to convince herself as she went to bed.

But even after the time she spent trying to tell herself that walking out was justified, or that maybe Maura didn't mean it she still couldn't do it. She couldn't get her thoughts to line up. She couldn't make her idea's match her feelings or her responses.

Everything was so screwed up.

But as Jane curled up in bed she felt an odd feeling settle over her; a longing. A desire to make things right, the need to apologize and cuddle up with Maura.

A feeling Jane hadn't felt it years. A feeling she had always associated with men, and love. A feeling she hadn't felt in a long time, not since Hoyt. She assumed he'd taken that, her ability to love, just like he took everything.

And the then she stopped and considered that maybe if he hadn't taken that from her, if she could still love others, then maybe others could love her?

No. She shook her head resolutely.

But as she closed her eyes, she couldn't make that wondering go away, that thought, that glimmer of hope, that maybe she wasn't as messed up after all.

She turned and looked at her cell on the bedside table. It was silenced and she hadn't looked at it. She didn't dare. But was that out of fear of seeing missed call from Maura? Or not seeing any?

Either way she picked up her phone and glanced down at the screen.

2 missed calls.

2 messages.

1 Facebook notification.

4 emails.

1 twitter mention.

Immediately at the sight of the missed calls and texts her stomach flipped, the mere thought that it might be Maura sent a smile to her face.

Only for it to be removed when she unlocked her phone to find none of them were from Maura.

Twitter mention from someone she was chatting to, emails from work, facebook notification of a friend request and the phone calls and texts belonged to her mother.

Her mother wanting to know how it went with the girl.

It was in that moment that Jane really decided to go for it. She was on the fence, but looking back on her conversation with her mother, and the connections she felt with Maura and everything from the past month combined, she cleared her screen, pulled up the keypad, pressed M and waited.

It took 6 rings for Maura to answer. With each passing ring Jane only got more nervous.

"Hello?" Maura's voice thick with tears and sleep.

Jane didn't know what to say. She sat for a moment in silence.

"Hello?" Maura's voice came again.

Jane heard Maura move the phone away to check who it was that called, since she hadn't checked caller ID upon answering.

"Jane...I know you're there, I can hear you breathing."

"Oh fuck." Jane cringed.

"Language Jane. Now, is there a reason you called?"

Maura sounded harsh now, her tone cold.

"I-I-I don't really know..." Jane cursed internally as she heard her voice tremble.

She heard Maura sigh on the other side of the phone.

"You don't know what Jane?"

Jane stayed silent.

"Jane? Seriously, if there isn't a reason you called I'd really rather prefer for you to hang up now."

That was the last thing Jane expected to hear, but as she thought about it, it was a perfectly acceptable response.

"Maura?"

"What Jane?!" Maura sounded fed up now, exasperated.

"I...don't know..." Jane was close to tears now; she didn't plan this, any of it. Her voice was getting weaker every time she spoke.

"Honestly Jane? I don't know either. We're fine, and then we aren't. We're getting along, all is good and then suddenly you flee! I can't take it anymore Jane I'm fed up! You didn't speak to me for three weeks last time! And then you come back and all about tell me everything, and I tell you I love you and you leave?! I'm fed up of you not knowing anymore Jane! It's tiring!"

By the end of Maura's little outburst Jane had tears down her face, she didn't know what to do. It was a horrible feeling of fear, confusion, adoration, anger and over all, love.

"So Jane...is there a reason you called or do I just need to hang up?"

Jane sniffled before moving the phone away.

She assumed Maura would just hang up now.

She lay back down on the pillow, her phone by her side.

"I-I love you too Maura..." She all about sobbed to herself, before she allowed the tears to fall. Sobs choking her, tears falling hard and fast now.

She felt had broken after Hoyt, but this was an all new kind of broken. She had no idea what to do, or where to turn or anything.

She muttered "I love you" repeatedly until it all became too much; the emotion, the stress, the alcohol, the tears. Her energy was gone and sleep took her without a second thought.

Across town however, Maura sat cross legged on her bed, the phone on her lap, a smile on her face, a sharp contrast to the unshed tears in her eyes.

She placed her phone on the bedside table before walking into the kitchen. She turned on the kettle and moved to get food for Bass.

She knelt down in front of her friend. Granted, he was on odd pet, but she adored him.

"Guess what Bass...she said it...she told me she loved me..."

Dramatic music - How will this mysterious tale end?!

I feel like I've used that quote before...

Anyway, thank you for reading. I honestly didn't like this chapter, it felt confusing and off to me, maybe its because I took a break but I'm really not sure about this one, so please, if you have any opinion on this at all, good or bad, please let me know. I want to make this good for you guys!

So, as usual, loving it or hating it, I'd love to know (especially in this chapter) And I will see you all (hopefully!) and maybe some new guys (hinty hint) in chapter 11!

Thank you so much for reading, and sticking with my ramble-y A/N's :D