"Hey." I say, sitting down next to Clyde, Token and Craig. Craig looks distant, I wonder if Tweek's talked to him yet. Wendy waves over to me at another table, but I ignore her. The girls haven't been much use. All they care about is boys, and, yeah, that's great, but they talk about wanting to date them, not have the boys date eachother. Life, well, death sucks.
Token seems depressed. That's an understatement. His face is in his hands, and he's making indignant grunts and groans. I turn to Clyde. "What's wrong?" I whisper curiously. He should know; they're best friends, and if my mission succeeds, boyfriends. Damn, I need a break from all this gay stuff.
"His girlfriend broke up with him. Ya know, Nicole." Clyde tells me sadly, or at least that's what his tone indicates. There's something in his eyes though… joy? I shrug it off, and wrinkle my nose in reality. "He's taking it hard." Clyde adds unnecessarily. I nod.
It looks like I have a better chance at bringing Tyde together – wait, I'm doing ship names? I groan in unison with Token. I'm glad Nicole it out of the way, I never liked her. Especially since she dumped me so long back. But hey, no grudges. I cast my eyes back over to the girls table, and see her weeping. Damn, she was the one to break up with him. I catch sight of Wendy again, and slap myself, causing Craig to look up. I need to get Wendy and fatass together.
I've barely seen Cartman around, though. Just like Stan. I guess the group has fallen apart, completely. Kenny told me that whenever he died, we got on just fine. It doesn't seem to be the case now. I only see him in English, but he keeps himself to himself. He's more stoic than Craig. I sigh. I don't know what's up with Cartman either. It feels weird, thinking about him, but I miss him. A bit. Sure, we were worst enemies, but we have a kind of relationship where we would risk our life to save the others. We sort of need each other. We all do. Stan, Kenny, Eric and I.
I look back to the table, where Clyde's arm is hooked around Token's shoulder, leaning in and comforting Token. I smile. I hope he's one of the guys who go on a rebound after a breakup. Craig gets up suddenly, and I frown, before seeing Tweek walk over, biting his lip.
"H-hi." Tweek says quietly, putting his tray down next to Clyde, away from Craig. Craig nods, and looks like he wants to do something, kiss him, maybe, but Tweek squirms away before he has the chance. I cover my grin. Go Tweek! I'm a fucking cockblock, I know. Tweek locks contact with me, and I see how worried he really is, flecks of blood starting to stain his lip.
I hear a sound, and Tweek and I look towards it. Craig's stood up on the "isolation table", the one in the middle of the cafeteria no-one eats on. What the hell? I spot Mr Mackey trying to get to him, but he flips him off casually, keeping his face emotionless. Tweek's eyes widen considerably. I don't blame him.
"Tweek James Tweak," Craig begins in a loud, bored tone, attracting the attention of everyone in the Cafeteria, their eyes and ears fixated on him. "is the best fucking person I've ever met." He carries on, staring at his feet, but then bringing his grey eyes back up to look straight ahead of him, right at Tweek. "He's sweet, caring, funny, weird, c-cool," He stumbles over his words a bit. "and insanely cute." His lips twitch a bit. Is he smiling?
"I'm sorry." He says, slightly quieter and Tweek's eyes well with unspilt tears. "I hurt him. I made the worst mistake of my life." I hear a commotion as Thomas storms out the room, Craig glaring at him as he runs. "But I…" He pauses, and gulps.
"I love him. I'm in love with him. I'll never stop loving him." He turns back to Tweek. "I need you, so much. I can't live without you, not in the slightest." He gets down calmly. "If anyone has a fucking problem, I haven't hit anyone in a really long time." He finishes, and before Tweek can do anything, he's dragged away by Mr Mackey and a lunch lady.
Tweek blushes as everyone turns to stare at him for a moment or two, before returning to their chats and meals, but then looks up, smiling at me. I grab his hand compulsively, taking it into mine. I smile back, but my heart aches.
For each couple I get together, a period of time goes by until I'll never see them again.