Warnings: PTSD induced panic attack

Notes this chapter: I lied about the word count, I'm sorry! Also, don't forget that today is a DOUBLE UPDATE! Make sure you read this chapter before going to the next :) Also, I know Midorima wasn't made Captain of Shutoku. However, I'm vetoing this and making him Captain. You guys are in for another amusing conversation that is similar to the one that Kuroko had with Aomine and Kagami a chapter or two ago. However, this one is between Kuroko, Kise, and Takao :)

Kida-Asumi

Any day spent with his boyfriend was a day well spent in Kuroko Tetsuya's opinion. Currently, the two were cuddled under Akashi's thick comforter, the temperature beneath the sheets almost too hot in Kuroko's opinion. But Akashi shifted and his arm tightened around his waist and any complaints that Kuroko might have had disappeared as quickly as they came. He snuggled in closer, his eyes sliding shut as he nuzzled Akashi's throat. Akashi let out a soft sigh above him, signaling his conscious state and Kuroko pressed a tender kiss to his pulse.

"Have you been awake long, Tetsuya?" Kuroko smiled, loving the way that his throat moved with his words. He shook his head, curling his fingers into the soft material of Akashi's shirt.

"Not really. Maybe 10 minutes. Akashi-kun is too aware of his surroundings. I will never be able to surprise you with breakfast in bed." Kuroko pulled away just enough to pout up at his boyfriend. Akashi's eyes flashed with mirth and a soft chuckle shook his body.

"Maybe for special occasions, that would be a nice treat. However, not this morning. I have a different activity in mind." Akashi smirked, rolling them over so that Kuroko was pressed into the middle of the bed. The blush in his cheeks darkened as his blue eyes began to cloud with arousal. As his boyfriend leaned down to start licking a path down his chest, Kuroko closed his eyes and let him do as he pleased.

Nearly two weeks had passed since Rakuzan's win. The Generation and some of the more prominent players of this time had been getting recruitment invitations and offers left and right. When Akashi and Kuroko had gone out that Monday night (Rakuzan allowed the school to close in celebration), they had been bombarded with the media. Two of the best interviews were allowed to be published, much to Akashi's delight.

Akashi himself had been in a remarkably great mood. This win was apparently some type of milestone for him, and it had exceeded his expectations. The rest of the Generation were currently in his house, holed away in various rooms, and the group had spent a nice weekend together. Akashi had spoilt them all, rewarding them for doing their best at this year's Inter-high. He had doted on Kuroko, buying him a new set of shoes and wrist bands, several new outfits, and a nice tie. Nigou had received imported, top of the line dog bones from some country that Kuroko didn't recognize the language or the currency.

He had also been kissed more times than he could count, often parting from his boyfriend's mouth with a wide grin and a flustered face. Akashi's good mood remained even when Midorima or Aomine would make snide remarks, or Momoi and Kise would tease them.

Hell, he had gotten off at least 5 times this weekend and it appeared that Akashi was going for half a dozen.

This weekend had been full of new memories and a reconnecting of the Generation. His boyfriend had been the noble Emperor he truly was, and as he took Kuroko into his mouth, the blue haired teen wondered what could come next for them.

"A training camp?" Kuroko asked after swallowing his bite of rice. Kise nodded, eyes brimming with excitement.

"Yeah! Just us and the Tokyo schools. Yosen has a training camp somewhere else and Rakuzan didn't want to pay for it, right Akashicchi?" Kise asked. The red head nodded, wiping his mouth before replying.

"Yes, Ryouta. We are also examining a new training regimen I created that I'm not quite ready to share yet." He said. The people at the table shuddered at the sadistic smirk that stretched across Akashi's face.

"Akashi-kun." Kuroko chided, slipping a hand on to his thigh under the table. "Wait until after breakfast." Akashi's hand covered his, giving it a squeeze as he nodded, expression falling to its usual mask of nonchalance.

"This is going to be a pain in the ass." Aomine grumbled.

"At least we get to go to the hot springs again!" Momoi pointed out. Midorima sighed, shaking his head.

"I have to agree with Aomine on this one. Organizing the event was a nightmare." He said, shifting his lucky item around before reaching for his tea.

"Anyway, I think it's going to be a lot of fun! We all should team up and show everyone what the generation is made of!" Kise chirped. As Aomine and Midorima protested the idea, Kuroko pondered it.

It could be a lot of fun to play with these guys again.

"I would like that, Kise-kun." He said softly. Usually the argument that was taking place would have taken precedence over Kuroko's quiet input. However, the generation had always acknowledged him and this time was no different. All of them settled down and returned to their breakfast, and when no protests were heard later, Kuroko bit back a smile.

It was nice to have everyone on good terms once more. He had missed this.

After a fantastic weekend away with his boyfriend and the generation, Kuroko returned to his usual weekly routine more determined than ever to kick ass and keep things in order. He paid attention in all of his classes, and only texted his boyfriend during his breaks. By the time that practice rolled around, he was confident that his life was just getting better.

That came to a screeching halt when he walked in to the gym to find the rest of Seirin sitting in a circle around Riko and Hyuuga. Behind them was a chalkboard, and in big letters a single word had been written.

SCOUTS

With a sinking stomach, Kuroko reluctantly sat down next to Koganei. Kagami sat next to him and after a few more minutes of waiting, Riko began their meeting.

"As you all know, we were approached by scouts at the end of the inter-high. This is huge news, and I have begun to schedule scouts to come and sit in on our practices starting after our training camp next week. So, that being said, I expect each and every one of you to be on your best behavior for the next few months. All of you are so talented and your dreams are too big to be wasted by being lazy or goofing off. I will take you guys to the pros, but I will need your cooperation. Are you with me?" Riko asked. As Seirin cheered around him, Kuroko withheld a sigh. He always was on his best behavior. This lecture was pointless for him.

Kagami took his hand and helped him up so that they could begin their warm-up jog. After their laps, they fell in to the rest of their drills. As Kuroko panted and sweated and gave his all in their warm-up, he couldn't shake the sinking feeling that Riko's lecture had given him. He wasn't sure why it had sat wrong with him, and he did his best to put it in the back of his mind.

The first time the pressure got to Seirin happened just two days later. It was on that Thursday. Kuroko had been helping a few of the new first years learn to pass swiftly when suddenly Riko's alarmed voice rang throughout the gym. With concerned frown, Kuroko turned to find Hyuuga kneeling over Izuki, his fist raised above his head. Kagami ran towards the two, pulling Hyuuga off of their teammate. As the confused first years gathered around him, asking questions, Kuroko masked his sudden terror.

The glares on Izuki's face and the deep frown on Hyuuga's were bringing up too many negative memories, too fast. Riko cancelled practice a few minutes later. Without needing to be told twice, Kuroko grabbed his duffle and Nigou and all but ran out of the gym.

This couldn't be happening again. Flashbacks of Kise and Aomine fighting danced in his head, and he felt a bit queasy. He stopped in a nearby alleyway, resting against the wall as he struggled to catch his breath. Nigou let out a concerned whine at his feet, pawing at his ankles. Kuroko sank to his knees, grasping at his chest as his world began to spin. Arguments from the end of Teiko continued to haunt him, and he let out an unintentional whimper.

"Why can't everyone just get along?" He whispered as he felt a tear stream down his cheek.

This had been his safe place. Seirin hadn't been about winning like Teiko had. This team was full of life and hope. It had deep friendships and hadn't been ripped apart by the fierce competition facing it. It had brought them together.

"Tetsu?" A concerned voice called out to him.

"Don't worry, Kagamin, we found him!" A female voice said loudly. Looking up, Kuroko found Aomine reaching for him.

"Call Akashi, Satsuki." Aomine sighed, helping Kuroko to his feet. His nose wrinkled with distaste at the grime on Kuroko's knees and shoes.

"Hello Akashi-san!" Momoi said, winking at Kuroko as he pulled a wipe out of her purse. "Yes, we found him. No, he was only a few blocks away. Sure, here he is." Momoi passed him the wipe and phone. After cleaning off one hand, he took the phone and began to clean the other.

"Please no more yelling." He managed to say, even if it took all of his energy to keep his voice steady. Aomine's arm came up to support him as he swayed.

"…I will inform your school that you will be with me tomorrow." Akashi's voice said softly. "I am on my way to collect you now. Daiki and Satsuki will take you to your home to pack for the training camp, and then they will either remain with you or take you back to one of their homes." He declared. Kuroko's eyes closed with relief, and he nodded.

Missing school and practice wasn't good for him. Running away from all of this sudden strife wasn't going to help things in the long run.

But knowing that Akashi would go out of his way to remove him from this turbulent situation made him feel a little better.

"Thank you, Seijuuro-kun." He whispered, turning in to lean against Aomine as he felt his knees begin to buckle once more.

"You are welcome, Tetsuya. Please inform Satsuki and Daiki of the situation. I will be there within the next four or five hours." Kuroko nodded, keeping a hold of the phone for a few seconds after the dial tone began.

"I'm sorry to trouble you, Aomine-kun, Momoi-san." Kuroko sighed as he passed Momoi her phone. She shook her head, a concern frown on her face.

"Tch, this is Seirin's fault for fucking up, Tetsu. Don't worry about it. Are you going to Kyoto?" He asked. Kuroko nodded, using Aomine's arm to stand up. Nigou paced around his feet, on arlert incase his master began to sway again.

"Yes. I assume that Akashi-kun will deliver me to the training camp personally." He shrugged. Aomine nodded, and both fell silent as Momoi waved down a cab. The three of them and Nigou soon boarded one, and Momoi's chatter kept Kuroko distracted from his dangerous thoughts. Of course his parents weren't home when they arrived. As he wrote them a note, Aomine took Nigou outside. He and Momoi packed a bag for the training camp and an overnight bag for Akashi's.

"No lube, Tetsu-kun?" Momoi teased when he only put in condoms. Even those were just a formality, as he doubted that he would be in the mood to do anything with them.

"Akashi-kun and I don't use lube, Momoi-san." He responded without thinking. As soon as the words registered in his head, he winced. That had been a bad idea.

"EH?!" Momoi gasped loudly. Aomine and Nigou came in to the room seconds later, alarmed by the tone of Momoi's voice. Kuroko blushed, ignoring the three sets of curious eyes as he gathered up his toiletries.

"Tetsu-kun and Akashi-san don't use lube, Dai-chan!" Momoi was explaining when he returned. Aomine blushed, glaring at his childhood friend.

"Satsuki, that's none of our business!" He grumbled, awkwardly avoiding looking at Kuroko. The shadow appreciated that, and continued with his packing.

He didn't need that conversation again.

"Eh? But Dai-chan, you send me out all the time to buy lube for you and Ki-"

"Gah! Satsuki, stop it! I'll explain later so long as you just stop now."

Kuroko really didn't want to think about that, and he did his best to tune them out as he zipped up his duffle bag.

Eventually, Akashi arrived. He let himself in, and the trio on Kuroko's couch rose to their feet in greeting.

"Thank you for watching over him, Daiki, Satsuki." Akashi murmured, even as his worried dichromatic eyes looked over Kuroko, narrowing a bit at the red around his eyes and the scratches on his knees.

"Anytime! Bye Tetsu-kun, see you tomorrow evening." Momoi waved. Aomine nodded, squeezing Kuroko's shoulder as he left as well. As the sound of the door clicking shut echoed around the house, Akashi pulled Kuroko in to his arms.

"Oh Tetsuya. I was so worried when I received a text message explaining that you had disappeared. I had no idea how or why or what had happened." He murmured against Kuroko's shoulder. The blue haired male tightened his grip on Akashi, burrowing in closer to his protective hold. Here, he could finally talk about what happened with someone that wouldn't judge him. And so he did.

"We were having a normal practice. Suddenly, there was tension in the air and Riko let out an alarmed shout. I turned from the first years to find Hyuuga-senpai and Izuki-senpai fighting." He explained. When Akashi tightened his hold, Kuroko became aware that he was shaking. "It's hitting too close to the end of our Teiko days. The pressure of going pro is tearing Seirin apart, Akashi-kun." He whispered. Akashi simply shook his head and reached behind Kuroko for his bag. He called for Nigou and once the dog was at their side, he released Kuroko and took his hand instead.

"We'll have a nice dinner with my student council, and then tomorrow morning you can sit in on our practice. I will escort you around Rakuzan for all of my classes, and then I will bring you back to Tokyo personally. You need a break from this city, my darling." Akashi murmured, tugging Kuroko out of his house.

"I spent last weekend in Kyoto, Akashi-kun." Kuroko pointed out half-heartedly, even if a pleased grin stretched across his face. Akashi simply smirked and held open his door for him.

"One more night won't hurt." Akashi shrugged once he was seated. Kuroko let out a quiet chuckle, reaching for his boyfriend's hand.

"Thank you, Akashi-kun. I don't know what I would do without you." He said, blue eyes sincere as they met Akashi's. His boyfriend squeezed his hand.

"You will never know, Tetsuya. Now, where would you like to eat? I shall summon my student council to wherever in Kyoto you desire to eat." He said. As he gave his answer, Kuroko relaxed in his seat.

Akashi was a very generous boyfriend. To simply whisk him away from Tokyo at the drop of a hat was going to make him spoiled, and he acknowledged that. Yet Kuroko wasn't strong enough to stop him yet.

Maybe once things settled down at Seirin he could break this protective habit. For now, however, he inquired about Akashi's day, and settled in for the long ride back to Kyoto.

The Winter Cup training camp of the Tokyo schools was an interesting weekend for Kuroko. His team was shaky for the first day, still rattled from Hyuuga and Izuki's fight. The few that had noticed Kuroko's disappearance were concerned about it. Those that didn't surely noticed when the Generation had flocked to his side when he arrived, inquiring about his state of being.

"I'm okay, guys." Kuroko smiled, sharing an amused 'I-told-you-so' glance with his boyfriend.

"Are you sure, Kuroko? I would feel better if I examined that cut." Midorima frowned.

"Do you not trust my bandaging work, Shintaro?" Akashi asked, his cold smile and very friendly voice activating danger warnings in everyone in the room. All paused their conversations to look to the two Captains. After a silent stare down, Midorima backed up, a barely-there pout on his face.

"Of course not, Akashi. If it acts up due to training, please come and see me Kuroko." Midorima said before taking a step back. Kise immediately filled that spot and then some, squeezing his way in-between Akashi and Kuroko to pull the smaller male into his arms.

"I was so worried when I got Akashicchi's urgent text message! When he said that you were to be found immediately, I thought you got kidnapped! Don't scare us like that, Kurokocchi!" Kise chided as he smothered Kuroko. The blue haired male shoved Kise away at the same time that Akashi yanked him back by his collar. If Aomine hadn't been hovering nearby, Kise would have fallen to the floor. Instead, he stumbled back into his boyfriend, shooting him a sheepish smile.

Akashi, Kuroko, and Aomine all gave him unimpressed frowns.

"Personal space, Ryouta." Akashi murmured, even as his golden eye flashed murderously.

"Kise-kun, I apologize for worrying you. I just needed to think." He promised, shooting Akashi a warning look to behave. Kise pouted, but nodded.

"If you say so, Kurokocchi." He said.

After stepping outside to wish Akashi a private and personal goodbye, Kuroko had found Seirin and began to follow them to their sleeping quarters. Kagami hovered for the first few hours before Kuroko kindly assured him that he was fine now.

"I'm fine now, Kagami-kun" Kagami flushed, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head.

"If you say so, Kuroko. Just next time, warn a guy, okay?" He asked. Kuroko nodded, a small smirk appearing on his face.

"And next time, don't text Akashi-kun first. He started an unnecessary manhunt for me because I became overwhelmed. Call me or Aomine-kun first. If those fail for more than three hours, then contact Akashi-kun." He said, smirk growing into an amused grin when Kagami let out a flustered gasp and began to babble about how he was so damned ungrateful.

"…and I even had to contact that freaky guy because of it." He was still mumbling when they walked in to the gymnasium. Shaking his head, Kuroko grabbed a nearby basketball and looked for their coach.

Most of the hot spring trips that Kuroko had been on were memorable for one reason or another. Teiko's had been about bonding time, or basking in a win, or for a few nights, experimentation. So far, Seirin's had been much the same. For the couple that he and Akashi had been on alone, it had been about intimacy.

This one, Kuroko realized, was about gossip and 'guy talk.'

He wasn't sure how he ended up in the same area with just Shutoku's Takao and Kaijo's Kise. He wasn't sure how they had ended up talking about their boyfriends.

Hell, he wasn't sure why he was staying. He certainly didn't need to know about Midorima's body, or how Kise messed around with Aomine's.

"I love that too! Must be a Generation of Miracle's thing, then, cause Himurocchi said that Kagamicchi has never done anything like that." Kise was saying to Takao once Kuroko managed to gather his thoughts.

"Kuroko, does Akashi do it too?" Takao asked.

"I really don't think that Akashi-kun would want me talking about this." He tried to protest. When he rose from his spot to leave, Kise stopped him.

"Kurokocchi. Is it true that you and Akashi haven't had sex yet?" At the serious tone in his voice, Kuroko froze. Takao let out a loud gasp, obviously surprised by this.

"Seriously? Shin-chan jumped my bones shortly after we started dating, and from what you've said, Ryo-chan, Aomine did the same. What is Akashi-san waiting for?" He asked. With a sigh, Kuroko sat back down. This obviously was something that needed to be settled now, as opposed to these two bringing it up all weekend.

"…I think he's waiting on some sign from me." Kuroko admitted, even as he braced himself for this suddenly, all too personal conversation. Both hyper males froze any comebacks they had prepared, and shared a look.

"You're lucky." They said in unison. Kuroko frowned. Of all the things they could have said, he hadn't been expecting that.

"I know that." He said, confused as to where this could be going.

"At least he's putting you before himself." Kise grumbled. Takao nodded, leaning back against the wall of the bath.

"I love Shin-chan, but he's so damned self-centered!" He sighed. Kuroko looked between the two before shaking his head.

"I want Akashi-kun to be more selfish with me. He always puts me first. He spoils me and while that may seem like the perfect scenario for the two of you, I want to be able to spoil him in return. I want him to try new things without asking me first. I want to have sex with him without have to talk about it first." Kuroko explained, ignoring the blush on his cheeks. Takao and Kise shared surprised looks.

"Have you told him this, Kurokocchi?" Kise asked. Kuroko shook his head, looking down at the water.

"No. I'm not sure how to say it without coming off as ungrateful." He explained.

"You could always ask him what he wants. Or why he isn't taking charge like he usually does. He'll either feel guilty and act, or he'll get pissed and act. Either way, you get laid." Takao shrugged.

That was true. Provoking Akashi usually worked. But he didn't want it to be a fight. He wanted the first time that they made love to be special and intimate, not the result of his goading.

"Kurokocchi, can I give you some advice?" Kise asked. Kuroko hesitantly nodded. He really didn't like this serious Kise. "Have you touched yourself in the ass yet?" Kuroko blushed.

"Oh! What a great idea, Ryo-chan!" Takao chirped, offering Kuroko an encouraging smile. Perhaps against his better judgement, Kuroko shook his head.

"No…not yet. I hadn't planned on it." Takao groaned as Kise shook his head, sympathetically patting Kuroko's shoulder.

"Oh Kurokocchi, you really should." He sighed. Kuroko frowned, annoyed at his attitude towards the situation.

"Why, Kise-kun?" He asked instead.

"What if you don't like it? Having something up your ass is a very different experience than anything else. You definitely want to figure out a way to mask any painful expressions from Akashicchi. From what I can tell, he will freak out and stop having sex with you the moment you are in pain. At least if it hurts at first, you will be able to assure him that you know it will come to pass." Kise explained, nodding his head in agreement with himself.

"Ryo-chan is correct! The first time Shin-chan and I messed around, he stuck in his first finger at such an odd angle that I ended up crying out in pain! He freaked and immediately stopped. It took me a couple of days before I could convince him to try again. Definitely figure it out in private before showing him." Takao said, nodding in agreement with himself.

"And with Akashicchi being as prideful as he is, he will expect everything to go perfectly the first time. At the first shakeup I'm sure that he will cut it all off. So make sure you kinda know what to expect so that you can comfort Akashicchi." Kise said. Kuroko sank in to the water, allowing Kise and Takao to continue their ramblings away from his ears.

That was a good point as well. Akashi had already halted any advances in their relationship the moment that Kuroko had become still from the surprise. He had taken it as a sign that it was too much, as opposed to Kuroko just needing a moment to adjust. Maybe touching himself first wasn't a terrible idea.

"It won't kill the mood when I have to admit that I touched myself first?" He asked, the sudden question halting any debate the two were having. Takao shrugged as Kise giggled.

"No way! I think Akashicchi will be flattered that you went out of your way to get ready for him." Kise chirped.

"Or he won't bother inquiring about it. He might just assume that you have been masturbating like that." Takao pointed out. Kuroko sank back under the water as his cheeks grew heated once more.

Despite how embarrassing this situation had been, Kuroko had to appreciate the tips and advice that he was receiving. After all, these two viewed sex from a very different angle than Kagami and Aomine had. It was a bit refreshing, and their advice wasn't as outlandish as he might have expected. As he began to wash his back, he listened to the various things they had tried, and what had worked and what hadn't. If there was one thing he could take away from this hot springs trip, it was the advice he had needed to try to take the next step in his relationship with Akashi.

As he was climbing in to his futon, he grabbed his cell phone and sent a text message to Akashi.

To: Akashi-kun

Subject: Away

Akashi-kun. Our six month anniversary is coming up soon. Instead of you coming to Tokyo, or me going to Kyoto, perhaps we could go somewhere else for a weekend? Our fall breaks line up nicely. Could we take that first weekend to ourselves? I apologize if this is too forward, Akashi-kun. It was just a thought I had.

Nigou came padding over to his side, crawling under his comforter.

"I let him back in." Kagami explained as he dropped on to the futon beside him. Kuroko thanked him, anxiously running his fingers through Nigou's fur as he waited for Akashi to reply. He felt Kagami's frown on him, and with a sigh, he decided to save any further questions and just explain it now.

"I just suggested that Akashi-kun and I go away for a weekend to celebrate our six month anniversary. He has yet to respond." He explained.

As if on que, Akashi's respond came.

From: Akashi-kun

Subject: Re:Away

Tetsuya, that sounds like a wonderful idea. I will research a few options for us. In the meantime, please think about anywhere you would like to go. For this trip we will limit it to just Japan. For our one year, we can go international. I will figure something out for that. But with the Winter Cup rapidly approaching, unfortunately, we both cannot afford to be gone for that long.

How was your first day of training camp, Tetsuya?

"From the grin, I'm going to guess he agreed?" Kagami's voice broke Kuroko out of his thoughts. The shadow nodded, rolling over so that he could curl up around Nigou and respond.

For Akashi to agree was enough for him now. He hadn't wanted to go anywhere grand. He just wanted to go spend some quality alone time with his boyfriend. For Akashi to not only agree but be just as eager meant a lot to him.

He also felt a bit silly for not expecting this.

And so, as the rest of Seirin filtered in to the room, Kuroko stayed on his futon and eagerly texted away to his boyfriend, his heart racing with excitement as more things became finalized.

When they finally part for the night, he couldn't help but be very excited for next month.

It was certainly going to be a big change for them. He just hoped that he could drop enough hints that Akashi would realize what he wanted out of the weekend.

A/N: Alrighty. How is everyone holding up? This chapter was hard for me to write because it KILLS ME that Kuroko has to go through Teiko all over again. It's worse though because this is Seirin. His safe space that isn't safe anymore. I love Seirin, do not get me wrong. But for the plot of this fic to happen naturally, this has to happen. I will explain when the time comes, and I hope you guys understand.

So anywho, next chapter we get TWO sex scenes :D I really, really hope you guys enjoy them!

- Kida Asumi